Agony and Ecstasy
by UnaRJ
Summary: Bella has two great friends a good job and a kind boss but finally faces the fact that she is no longer happy with her personal life. A holiday is what she needs and boy does she have one! M for a reason. AH OOC Bella/Carlisle and Bella/Jasper.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note; **Well, my lovelies. The first six words of this chapter were the spark to begin another story. These words were going around in my little head for a few days and then finally my brain decided what to do with them. I know that I have said these words a few times over the years, that I have been around. I wonder how many of you lovely ladies out there have said the same at various times. Be honest! So here we go. The bulk of this story will be in Bella's POV but I may well insert the odd POV of other people as and when relevance dictates. Enjoy.

**Disclaimer;**I own nothing to do with Twlight. I just use the characters and I'm using Bella again!

**Agony and Ecstasy**

Decisions, decisions

"I can't do this right now!" I shut my eyes, tightly. My mind was clouded with thoughts of leaving him right now, just going out for an hour or so, to get some air, or just giving in to him. And that's the problem. I would always opt for the latter. I always gave in to him. He always got his own way. It would leave me felling angry and frustrated at myself. Why couldn't I just be honest with myself, let alone with him?

As he detached his lips from the side of my neck, he inhaled, deeply. "Shit, Bella. I just don't get what your problem is." He muttered, frustrated.

He said it again, for the third time this month. He didn't get me!

Surely I wasn't the only woman on this planet who sometimes didn't feel like a quick fuck in the morning? Or was I. Maybe there was something wrong with me. I thought he would be different the first time we met, but now I realised that he was just like every other man I had dated or stayed with, over night. Six months of dealing with his morning needs was enough. I knew what the problem was. I didn't love him and although he said he loved me, I was beginning to believe that he was just saying it to save himself from having to go out there and find my replacement.

"No, you don't and I'm beginning to think that you never will!" I answered back. I gasped at my own honesty. For the first time, I had said exactly what I was thinking. I usually processed every thought, every idea, before I verablized it. I was such a bitch!

I was a natural, at not wanting to uspset anyone. I think I got that trait from my dad. He never really said much at all. But that always made the times that he did say something, all the more poignant.

My mom would say the first thing that came into her head. Some days, dad and I wouldn't know what hit us, first thing in the morning. A lot of it was pent up frustration. I understood that, all too well. But mom would just, let it all out. As far as she was concerned, with family, that was precisely what you should be able to do. Be honest, don't hold back. If they loved you, then they could take it, deal with it and forgive you, if you had to be forgiven.

I wasn't too sure if my outburst was such, that I wanted to be forgiven. Right now, what I wanted was an out. If he turned around right now and told me to fuck off, in no uncertain terms, then I would, happily. But I knew he wouldn't. He needed me too much. Much more than I needed him. I didn't rely on people to make me happy. I didn't need another person to justify my existence. I was with him out of habit. Confrontation was not my game. I was such a coward!

I only spent quality time with a few men before him. The sort you hang out with, make out with but don't stay over night with. Just casual. Good fun. I could take it or leave it. I never really _needed_ any of them.

I was beginning to think that there was something wrong with me. Sex was always something that others talked about. My girlfriends at work, were always whispering about this guy or that guy and trying to work out how they might gain his sole attention for a night or even longer. I didn't join in with their conversations, very often. I didn't understand what their fascination was, with the guy they were after. The centre of their attention wasn't exactly centerfold or high up in the IQ stakes.

"You're just too damn picky, Bella." Alice huffed at me one lunchtime. I remember that day clearly. We met up and went over to the park. It was a sunny day. It was good to feel the warmth on my face. We found Rose easily, sunning herself, leisurely stretched out on a tartan picnic rug. She was attracting a fair amount of attention, which was the whole idea. She was very adept at not making it obvious that she was checking out the men walking past her. They slowed down to look at her but that meant, that she in turn, could get a good look at them. They actually didn't realise the tactic was purely for her benefit.

"I don't think I am, Alice." I sighed back at her, as we made ourselves comfortable on the rug. "My life doesn't revolve around men and which one I can get to take me out on a Saturday night and show me a good time. That's all." I tilted my face up towards the sun, shutting my eyes so that I wouldn't have to look at her incredulous face. We hitched our already short dresses a little higher, to expose as much flesh to the sun's rays as was possible, without being dreadfully gawped at.

Even Alice didn't understand me, as far as men were concerned. She didn't mind too much about looks or his occupation. She very rarely found someone as energetic as herself, so when she did come across one who could dance practically all night and keep up with her in conversation, she was, shall we say, smitten for a while. But she still hadn't found 'the one'.

Rose was a little bit more understanding. She didn't see the necessity of needing a man in her life, twenty four seven. She was a very resourceful woman. She was independent and always called the shots. The men she dated really didn't know how to handle her. If she was unhappy with you, you knew it. She was the total opposite to me.

I envied her strength, her resolve and her determination that she would never allow herself to be owned by any man. She was her own person and she liked it that way. If she let you in, you were special. Alice and I, were those special people in her life. We had somehow clicked, gelled, bonded. An amazing mix of oestrogen, Alice described us, one time.

She said that if we could somehow be merged into one woman, then we would probably be the almost perfect woman.

I took it as a compliment. Rose looked at Alice with narrowed eyes, shook her beautiful head, in disbelief, and went back to reading her motorcycle weekly magazine.

"Bella!" His sharp tone, broke me out of my daydream. I looked at him, with wide eyes. I blinked and then I looked at him again, really hard. "You're doing it again!" His jaw set, as he rolled his eyes and got out of bed, heading for the bathroom. The door shut with a click and I stuck my tongue out at it, childishly. I wouldn't have the nerve to do it to his face. You see that_ is _my problem. I can't be honest about how I feel.

I hauled myself out of the sumptuous bed, dressed quickly, found my shoes and purse, fished out a stick of gum, popping it into my mouth, as a quick breath freshener and made my way quickly, to the front door. As soon as I shut the door, I leaned against it, sighing rather dramatically, even for me. Pushing my body away from the door, I gathered my hair up into a deliberate messy bun, securing it with a scrunchie from my jeans pocket, that I always kept handy for times like these.

But this time was going to be, the last time. This time, I had finally decided that I wouldn't be answering his calls, that would, without a doubt, begin one hour after my departure. This time I was going to be strong, resolute and determined. But I would have to go over to Rose's place in order to do so. I couldn't do it on my own. I would need her to hide my phone from me and keep my mind occupied with some other distractions. A good DVD or a bottle of wine. Hell, even a shopping trip! Anything that would mean I couldn't just get up and go back to him when he clicked his fingers. This time I wanted to stay away, for good. This time I was going to do something for Bella. Me, Bella Swan would finally not be at the beck and call of a man. Least of all Mike Newton.

Once I arrived at Rose's place, I parked the car in a suitable spot, quickly checking my face in the rearview mirror. After all said and done, I did have a certain amount of pride in my appearance, especially when it came to standing next to the siren, that was Rose. It didn't matter what time of day or night, she always looked perfect. I just hoped that one day, eventually, some of her confidence, would rub of on me. We had after all, known each other for three years now.

I picked up my purse from the passenger seat and locked up the car. I made my way up the steps, to the entry door to her apartment block. I buzzed her number and was immediately allowed access. She must have seen me arrive, from her kitchen window. When I reached the top of the stairs, leading to her apartment, she had left the front door open for me. There was nothing more comforting than a friend who would leave their front door open, upon your arrival. It was like a huge hug but without arms. It was the pre-hug to the real hug. I stepped through the doorway and shut it, securely behind me.

"Thanks, Rose." I breathed. I felt safe here. Probably because, Rose would take control and I would be allowed the luxury of not having to think.

"What happened this time, hon?" She busied herself, pouring out two mugs of coffee, handing me one and gesturing, with a nod, to the couch in the living room. I set my mug on the coffee table and took off my jacket, draping it over the arm of the couch. I sat down, nestling myself into the cushions and shut my eyes for a moment.

Rose never expected an immediate answer. She was patient. Well, patient as far as Alice and I were concerned. She never afforded this kind of patience to others, outside of our circle of three.

I reached forward to claim my mug and held it, cupping both hands around the now, slightly cooled, receptacle.

"I do believe I've finally come to my senses." I looked at her, smiling and took a sip of the coffee.

Her eyebrow arched, gracefully. She turned her pajama clad body towards me, tucking her legs under herself. She was giving me her full attention.

"From the beginning, please." She took another sip of her coffee and looked into my face, intently, with her cool blue eyes.

"I was laying in bed, thinking to myself. 'Why are you doing this?' She snorted at me.

"What were you _doing_, if you don't mind me asking?" I should have realised that would be her next question. I rolled my eyes. I was always embarrassed when I had to talk about anything to to with activities pertaining to the bedroom kind.

"He was in the mood, as usual." I began, blushing slightly.

"You will stay until the morning, Bella! You know that's why they never stay overnight with me. I hate being bothered first thing in the morning." She looked at me over the rim of her coffee mug. She was right of course.

"Well, I _wasn't_ in the mood. I think I said something like, 'I can't do this anymore'. Rose coughed, as she choked on the sip of coffee, that she was in the process of swallowing.

She took a deep breath to calm herself. "Wow, Bella. Say what's on your mind, why don't you?" I knew she thought it was long overdue.

"I know! I don't know where it came from. I've never said it before!" I was still in shock.

"Well, then. It's about time." She smiled and winked at me.

"I didn't hang around though. When he disappeared into the bathroom, I made the decision to leave, quickly." She looked at me and shook her head slightly. I was such a disappointment to her. I felt like I would never 'grow a pair' as Rose would so delicately put it.

"Where's your phone?" She asked, sharply, holding out her perfectly manicured hand to me. I quickly turned to my jacket pocket and fished it out, handing it over to her as if I had been caught out with some kind of contraband.

She immediately switched it off and buried it behind her back, between two cushions. "There! Out of sight, out of mind." She said, triumphantly. I think she was actually enjoying this. She was imparting some of her wisdom on me and all I had to do, was take note and follow her instructions. Maybe I was a lost cause.

"I don't need him, do I, Rose?" Already doubts creeping in. I was so weak!

"No, you don't, hon. If you settled for him, you'd be settling for second best. You deserve more than that. You deserve the best." This is why Rose is my friend. She always knows how to make me feel better about myself.

"I've got some time owing to me. Maybe I should go away. Be out of reach for a while." I pondered for a moment. The cowardly choice.

"Why not?! Your last proper holiday was a year ago. Where would you go?" She smiled.

"I don't know. I suppose I could go and stay with mom for a while." The easy option. If in doubt go to mom's.

"Would that really be a holiday for you, Bella?" She was right.

As much as I loved my mom, I would end up doing most of the cooking and get lectured on how to find the perfect man. Phil, her new husband of two years, was perfect, as far as she was concerned. They complimented each other ....perfectly. He challenged her in ways that dad never did. Above all, he understood her.

From being a frustrated housewife and mother to making the decision she wanted to be a single mother, when I was about ten, we moved to Phoenix. She loved the heat. Mom had decided the route to take to find herself and what she really wanted in her life. It broke dad's heart in the process, but she became a calmer person for it and she was fun to be around, for the first time. As I got older I reliased that her mood swings back in Forks, probably had a lot to do with the the dreary weather more than my dad. But he didn't want to move; he was happy there and didn't understand why she wasn't. SAD hadn't been discovered then.

She then lived on her own for a year after I left home to go and work in Seattle. That's when she met Phil.

I would have been only too happy to stay in Phoenix, but the company I worked for, transferred to Seattle. At the time I couldn't find another job in Phoenix, so I moved. I thought it would do me good. The relocation bundle I was offered, was a little hard to turn down. The company helped all of the employees who decided to take up the offer, to find accommodation, help with the first months rent, paid for all the shipping costs and gave all of those who moved, an extra week holiday entitlement that first year, so that the move was a little less traumatic for the families. It meant that I could spend an extra day at the weekend, whenever I visited mom.

Moving, for me was a good idea, as it turned out. It helped me to spread my wings and besides, dad lived in Forks, in the old family home, which was only about a four hour drive away. It meant we could renew our relationship a little.

We had only spent summers together when I was still at school. The occasional Christmas together and then that changed to just a week together when I took annual leave, from work, the few years before I moved to Seattle. Now I try to visit twice a month, for a weekend, when he doesn't go fishing. Which wasn't very often. He had lived on his own for so long that he was comfortable in his routine. He enjoyed his own company. He didn't _need_ to have company.

So you see, this is where I got that trait from. Comfortable with my own company. The only difference between us was, that he was not averse to making sure that people understood his love of solitude. I think that probably comes with age. Being comfortable in your own skin and confident in what you know about yourself.

I was still learning that.

"Maybe I should go somewhere I've never been before." I pondered, reconnecting my mind to where my body was situated.

A deserted island sounded quite appealing right now. I would only need to worry about the bare neccessities, some good books and a journal, so that I could write down all my thoughts.

"My parents own a cabin on Orcas Island. Deer Harbour to be precise." Rose immediately captured my attention. "I went there a lot as a child. It only has one bedroom. I remember I slept on a pull out for years until I got too big" She smiled. "My parents couldn't give it up. They still use it to get away from it all. It might be perfect for you. To get away for a bit and ....breathe." I leaned over to her and took her hand in mine and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"It sounds wonderful, Rose. D'you think your parents would let me use it for a couple of weeks? It's far enough away but not too far." She gave my hand a squeeze in return.

"Of course they would. You're one of my best friends, aren't you? I'll check with them when it's available and let you know. I'd do it now, except they're away

visiting relatives." She informed me.

"That's fine, Rose. I'd need to make sure that's okay with Jasper, Monday morning. I'm sure he won't say no. We don't seem to be that busy at the moment." I mused.

I made a deal with myself. First thing Monday morning and I wasn't going to back out of it. I needed_ this_. That was one thing I was sure of.

Jasper would understand. He often took weekend breaks to go back to Phoenix, in order to keep in touch with friends and family, since moving with the company. He's been my boss for three and a half years and he's great to work for. When I first started working for him he kindly took me out for a couple of dinners. At first I wasn't sure as to which road we were going down. The only time I was aware of, when a boss wanted to take his secretary out for dinner, was because he had an ulterior motive. But Jasper wasn't like that. He genuinely wanted to get to know me a little better and felt that the best way to do that was to chat over dinner. And that's exactly what transpired. Open and honest conversation.

He was a very interesting man to work for. I must admit the first time I saw him, before I reliased that he would be my boss, he had captured my interest. He had moved around quite a lot with his line of expertise and had moved back to Phoenix after an absence of three years. He had been working in Mexico where he was head hunted by the software company that I worked for. Their offer was too good for him to refuse so he took the position and I ended up with a new boss when my previous one retired because of ill health.

Sometimes his good looks, still caught me unawares. His hair was an amazing colour blonde. He was like a male version of Rose. His piercing blue eyes always seemed to be smiling, whenever he talked. He always looked interested, in everyone that he met. He was quite tall and lean. His suits hung well on him and he had a good sense of what looked good on him. His southern lilt was almost too much to bare, when we first met. He had an air of total confidence about him. Well of course he did. He knew exactly what he was doing with his life and what he wanted from life. He was a rather unusual man though. I never heard him talk about ex-girlfriends or even current girlfriends for that matter. I knew he dated because once in a while they would call the office. Whenever I patched them through to him, he would be cutely embarrassed and cut the conversation short. He was a very conscientious man to work for. He didn't like to mix his private life with his working life.

"Of course Jasper will let you have some time off. You're always need to get yourself a set of four different walls around you. Home walls and work walls get a bit boring after a while. The cabin will certainly not make you feel like you are surrounded by walls. I remember some evenings would be so warm that dad would leave the French doors open, well into the night. Mom always freaked out about animals getting into the cabin, but that never happened. You know I almost wish I could come with you. Talking about it, is sparking so many memories." Rose's face took on a dreamlike expression as she spoke.

"That would be wonderful." I whispered to Rose. Straight away she looked at me as if I'd grown a third eye.

"This vacation is for you, remember, Bella? Maybe I'll go over there sometime soon. First of all, you're going. That's the priority right now." I knew she was right.

The decision was made. Rose would make sure that I stuck to it.

**End of Chapter**

**Author's note; ** I have a pretty good idea as to where this story is going. So whileI get the next chapter tidied up and ready to be posted, I would love your input about this chapter in the form of a review. Take care.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note; **Many thanks to all of you who have read the first chapter. I know you did because my stats told me so. I would also like to thank luv4jake for giving me the first review of this story and putting this story on her Story Alerts list. Also thank you to Untamedfan01 for adding this story to their Alerts list, today. You are both very kind. I just hope there will be more. This chapter deals with Bella planning her holiday and arriving on Orcas Island. Of course there is more to this chapter than just that! You will have to read it, to find out. No lemons just yet but you know me, it won't be long! Enjoy.

**Disclaimer; **I do not own Twilight, I just play with the charaters a little. Well, maybe a lot!

**Agony and Ecstasy**

Journey into the unknown

I ended up spending the whole weekend with Rose. She even cancelled a date with her newest conquest, in order to make sure that I stuck to my promise of not backing down from my decision to ditch Mike. She's the best kind of friend anyone could have. I doubted that she would sacrifice so much for anyone else other than her parents or Alice and me.

We spent the weekend watching films that made us cry, well to be honest, they made _me _cry for the most part. We drank wine and ate pizza and stayed up talking, most of the two nights. She told me about some of her failed relationships. This was something she hadn't shared with me before. Funny thing was, I had never imagined that she would have had any failures in her vast experience. It made me feel a lot better knowing that someone as confident as Rose, had to go through some tough times too.

Monday morning, I got up early and went back to my place to get ready for work. Rose lent me some sweat pants and an old t-shirt that she had purloined from some guy she dated, years ago. She liked the t-shirt.

I got myself ready for work with a renewed sense of well being.

"Good morning, Jasper!" I greeted him with enthusiasm, when he walked through to his office. I half expected him to jump to the conclusion that I wanted something, but that was okay. I didn't often ask for anything, so he couldn't really turn me down. Could he?

"So what's put you in such a good mood?" He narrowed his eyes at me. He was not going to deter me. I was finally resolute about something in my life.

"I would like to take some time off and have a holiday." I stated, placing a small pile of messages on the desk in front of him. He quickly glanced at the pile and looked up at me. I couldn't quite make out what his look meant. He didn't look pleased but then again he didn't look annoyed either. I probably would have caved by now, thinking that it was a silly idea to ask for time off to go on holiday and just get back to work, but I didn't, I stood firm and waited for him to speak.

"I don't see why not, Bella. It's been a while since you had a fair amount of time off. We're not very busy at the moment, so when were you thinkin' of takin' your holiday?" He leaned back casually, in his chair, giving me his full attention.

"Well, as soon as possible. I just need to get the accommodation organised. Can I let you know later today?" This was so easy. Why didn't I do this months ago?

"Sure, Bella. You already have somewhere in mind then?" His eyebrows arched as if he were surprised that I was so organised.

"Well, yes. My friend's parents have a cabin on Orcas Island. It sounds like complete bliss. Just what I need right now." He smiled, broadly.

"Yes, those islands are amazin'. You should go whale watchin', while your over there. I went for a weekend last year. It's an amazin' place." He seemed to drift off into some sort of memory. I took that as my cue to leave the room and went back to my secretarial duties.

Rose rang me during my lunch break. She had spoken to her parents and the cabin was mine for two weeks as of Friday. I could hardly believe my luck. Jasper was a little hesitant that it was so soon, but organised things himself, that he would pass any important work that needed to be done urgently, while I was away, to one of the other secretaries.

I organised the ferry ticket on-line, during my lunch break and rang Alice to tell her the good news.

"What the hell are we going to do without you, Bella?!" She sounded panicked. This was a first for Alice. I could just imagine her sad pouty face on the other end of the phone.

"What do you mean? I'm allowed to have a holiday, aren't I?" I retorted.

"Yes, of course, but last year we went together. Are you going to be able to cope on your own?" Alice worried too much.

"Oh my God, Alice! You make me sound like a complete child. Of course I can cope. I'm only going to Orcas Island. Not freaking Timbuktu!" Anyone would think that I couldn't look after myself! I was quite capable of doing that, as long as there wasn't a man involved. They were the ones that clouded my brain from functioning, properly. I was looking forward to spending time on my own. Time to rediscover myself. To work out what it was I wanted in life. To feel comfortable in my own skin.

"Okay, Bella. I know, it's just that I'm going to miss you. Two weeks is such a long time. What if you get lonely?" She whined and paused for a moment, to take a breath. "Hey, If you do get lonely, you will ring, won't you?" She added.

"Alice to be honest with you, I'm actually thinking of leaving my phone at home. I really _do_ want to get away from it _all_." I meant it too.

"My God, Bella what if something happens to you?" I stiffled a giggle imagining her worst case senario; a broken nail!

"Nothing will happen! When I come back I'll be a new woman, just you wait and see." I said, reassuringly.

Alice didn't protest anymore. She simply wished me well. She was more like a mother to me than my own mother was. But I loved her for it. She was the kind of person that just cared about everyone. Most of all she wanted me to be happy. When I first started dating Mike, Alice was the only person to say that he wouldn't be any good for me. Rose took the view that I had to learn from my mistakes. Wise words. It seems that finally, I had.

The rest of the week went very quickly and by the time Thursday afternoon came, I had completely cleared my desk. Mike had rung a couple of times during the course of the first time he rang I told him that I had thought long and hard about our relationship and had decided that this would be a good time to call it a day. I knew that he wouldn't accept that decision easily. The next phone call, I let him go on about how good we were together and all that crap.

"Not from where I'm sitting, Mike. I haven't been happy for a while, but you just didn't notice. It's over. Don't ring me again." And he didn't. I was amazed at myself that I had the strength to speak to him like that. Finally I was growing some!

Although I felt that I was entitled to have this holiday, it still didn't mean that I didn't feel a twinge of guilt for not giving Jasper a little more notice. In fact he was pretty quiet for the rest of the week, simply making sure that he signed everything that I put in his 'For Signature' folder. Friday morning he was busy in meetings until lunchtime. He approached my desk quietly, almost making me jump out of my skin.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I just wanted to say that as everythin' is done and up to date, you can go. I thought you might need to go and get any last minute things before you catch the ferry." He smiled.

"Thanks, Jasper. I'll just file these and then I'll go. I do have a couple of things still to pack. Rose is picking me up and giving me a lift to the ferry terminal." I replied, returning his smile.

"Okay, well have a lovely time, won't you, Bella. I..I...umm." He frowned as he paused. "Have a lovely time, Bella." I couldn't quite understand his hesitation. I was so excited about my trip, that I brushed it off.

"Thanks Jasper. I'm sure I'll enjoy myself. It'll just be great to get away and have some time to think." He gave me a small smile and disappeared into his office shutting the door behind him. Very strange.

I tidied up my desk and gathered together my jacket and purse and remembered to take the letters that needed to be posted, with me. On my way to the lifts, I deposited the letters in the 'to post' tray. Everything was done and I was now officially free to go. I said goodbye to a couple of girls on the way out but didn't stop to chat. I wanted to get away as soon as possible and make sure that I was ready for when Rose collected me.

On the way home I stopped and picked up the last few items I needed to take with me.

With my bag packed and some food and drink packed in a small holdall for the journey and when I initially got there, I was ready.

"Now, when you get there, someone is going to meet you." Rose began to explain, as she handed me a set of keys to the cabin. "He lives in the neighbouring cabin. My parents asked him if he would collect you from the ferry and give you a lift to Deer Harbour. I think they also organised with him to get some supplies from the store, so you have something to tide you over for the first few days." She added.

"Is that really necessary? It seems to be so much fuss, just for me. I'm sure I can get to the store myself in the morning." I countered.

"Mom and dad wouldn't dream of letting you go over there without someone keeping an eye on you. He won't bother you. He keeps himself very busy but he's there if you have any problems." She reassured me.

"Okay, and his name?" I smiled, at her sudden forgetfullness.

"Oh, yes! Carlisle. He moved over there some fifteen years ago. I remember he used to get annoyed at me whenever I played my music too loud." She chuckled, at some memory, that had sprung to her mind.

"Right, so no loud music." I smiled.

"Exactly. Not that I think you'd do that anyway. If I took Alice over there, now that would be a different matter." We both giggled.

Rose grabbed my bag and we both made our way downstairs, setting off for the ferry. We listened to music and chatted about things that Rose had planned to do while I was away. Being out of the loop didn't really bother me that much. I would soon be able to catch up with all the news when I got back.

Rose got me to the ferry on time and we said our goodbyes. She promised to keep an eye on Alice, as she had been fretting so much about my holiday. Half an hour later, I was safely on board. With the 'safety routine' talk out of the way, I settled down in a comfy chair and ate one of my sandwiches and a piece of fruit.

The scenery was beautiful and the sea was fairly calm, which surprised me. But then again, I'm not sure what I expected. We made our way through the waterways and a little over an hour later, we docked at Orcas Village.

Dragging my large, wheeled holdall behind me and throwing my small holdall over my shoulder, I disembarked. The journey had given me a touch of 'sea legs'. I noticed it, as I stepped onto the quay, and walked along the wooden walk way, swaying ever so slightly. I smiled inwardly, thinking to myself that this was all part of my holiday experience. As I walked towards the safety of land, I quickly scanned the village. It was as I expected. The houses were finished with weatherboard exteriors and painted white or cream, with red or green roofs. They all looked very quaint and seemed to harp back to much simpler times. Uncomplicated and unpretentious. I stood still for a moment and took in a large breath of the sea air, shutting my eyes, listening to the call of sea gulls and the sea, lapping at the shoreline. I smiled to myself. Yes, this was one of the best decisions I had made, in a long time.

"Excuse me." A smooth, male voice broke me out of my daydream. I opened my eyes and there standing only a few feet away was a man, who I assumed was Carlisle.

His full head of sandy coloured hair, was being gently blown about in the sea breeze and his dark green eyes appeared to be scanning my face. I gave him a small smile and greeted him. I didn't want to appear rude to someone who had taken himself from his work to collect me.

"Hi, are you Carlisle?" I asked, feeling very brave.

"Yes, I take it you're Bella." He answered, walking a few steps closer and stretching out his hand to greet me. We shook hands and I immediately noticed how rough his hand felt in mine. Now he was standing a little closer, I noticed some grey hair was mixed in with the sandy colour. His face was well defined, with laughter lines around his eyes. He was sporting a healthy tan. I could only assume that he spent a lot of time outside, probably enjoying the many activities that meant spending time on the water. He was slim built but well proportioned. I could tell, that under his rather creased t-shirt that he had fairly broad shoulders and strong arms, his biceps evident as he shook my hand. His very faded jeans were almost completely covered with paint splashes on the thigh area. It seemed that he looked after himself and was very fit, for a man of his years.

And that's where I drew a blank. Apart from the tell tale signs of grey hair, I really couldn't put an age to him. The confidence he exuded, reminded me very much of my dad. He could quite possibly be in his early to mid forties.

The whole time I was musing, we were still holding hands. He hadn't taken his eyes from my face. Having realised our situation, I blushed and pulled my hand away from his.

He cleared his throat and refocused on where were standing. "Umm... right. Can I take your bag for you? The car is just over there." He gestured toward an 'i've seen better days' pale blue coloured, VW Beetle. I smiled in the direction of the car. It seemed to suit him and the island for that matter. I could almost imagine him arriving in it, some fifteen years ago, with all his worldly possessions, tightly packed in the back. It seemed that Carlisle had an interesting story to tell.

I nodded to him and let him take hold of the wheeled holdall, leaving me to carry the smaller one, as we made our way to the car. He quickly stowed away the luggage on the back seat, next to a cardboard box of provisions.

As I strapped myself into the front passenger seat I looked over to him and watched as he brought the car to life. It was then I noticed the five o'clock shadow along his strong jaw line.

"That was very kind of you to put some groceries together for me." I began. He kept his eyes trained on the road ahead as we began to make our through the village and head for Deer Harbor.

"No problem. The Hales are good neighbours of mine. They have always been very kind toward me. I'm just returning the favour in a small way." He shrugged. His tone was very matter of fact, but I was sure that for someone like him, who enjoyed his own company so much, it was probably a big ask.

We spent the rest of the journey in comfortable silence. I didn't want him to think that I would be making a nuisance of myself while I was here, by knocking on his door every five minutes and intruding on his life. I looked out of the side window and windscreen ahead, taking in the scenery and atmosphere of the island. I didn't even bother checking to see how long it took to arrive at Deer Harbour. That was my first indication that I had truly started my holiday. Having left my phone at home the next thing I would do consciously, would be to take off my watch and leave it in my purse, during my stay. Time would not dictate my life while I was here.

Carlisle pulled the car up to the side of a pretty, whitewashed cabin. "This is where you'll be staying, Bella." He announced and turned slightly in his seat and smiled at me. I smiled back at him.

"Thank you, Carlisle. It looks wonderful." I replied, getting out of the car. I stood for a moment as Carlisle pulled the holdall and box of provisions out from the back seat, for me.

He set the holdall down by the French doors, at the front of the cabin. I hadn't even realised that he had walked past me, I was so wrapped up in the scenery. He quickly returned to the car and carried the cardboard box, over to the French doors. I broke myself out of my reverie and walked over to where he was standing.

"Sorry. I was getting a little lost in how beautiful this place is. It's so peaceful compared to where I live." He nodded, understandingly and gestured at the door. I quickly fished out the keys from my jacket pocket and unlocked the door. He followed me into the living area and walked straight over to the tiny kitchen on the left and set the box down on the counter top, next to the fridge. He then very kindly pulled my holdall into the living area.

"Well, that's it then. You should have everything you need. I've switched the hot water on for you. The switch is on the wall, in the kitchen. You'll probably need to leave it for about half an hour before you have sufficient hot water to use. My house is just down the path. If you have any problems, then you are welcome to knock. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy your stay. Good evening, Bella." He nodded a couple of times, as if he was making sure that he had said all that he needed too and made his way out of the door, onto the small patio area that led out onto a pretty, natural garden.

"Thank you Carlisle, for the lift and your help. I really do appreciate it." I called out, as he made his way across the patio.

He half turned toward me and acknowledged me one last time, before he got back into his car and drove off.

I was now alone. Apart from being alone in my apartment on the odd occasions, I was now very much alone in this place. And I loved it. I felt a sense of excitement that I wouldn't be bothered by anyone. As much as I loved Rose and Alice, this was my time and I hoped that when I returned to the real world I would have lots to tell them. I didn't want my time over here to be wasted moping around or regretting anything. This was going to be a positive time for me.

I made my way to the kitchen and quickly got to work unpacking the provisions that Carlisle had put together for me. I suddenly realised that I hadn't asked him how much I owed him for the contents of the box. He must have thought me very rude. He had put himself out for a total stranger and now he was out of pocket! My first reaction was to head straight over to his place, but then I stopped myself. I would make a point of stopping by tomorrow, to reimburse him. Rose had said that he liked to keep himself to himself and I was sure that he would view me as a nuisance if I knocked on his door right at this moment in time. Tomorrow would be a better day for that.

After I put all the groceries away, I turned my attention to unpacking my bag. I wheeled the bag into the bedroom and smiled. The room was lovely. The comforter on the Queen size bed matched all of the soft furnishings in the room. There was a lovely old fashioned dressing table in one corner and a single wardrobe and chest of dawers situated against the wall, opposite the window. The only window in the room afforded plenty of light and looked out onto another small garden area, peppered with large plants in blue patio tubs. No doubt all of the plants that grew here were of the low mantainence kind and obviously survived very well in this type of climate. But I didn't have a clue as to what they were. I had never had to care for a garden, except mow grass, at my dad's house.

I hung up some of my clothes in the wardrobe and put the t-shirts and and other folded items in the chest of drawers. I unpacked my toiletries and found the bathroom just the other side of a small hallway, the other side of the kitchen. There was a full size bath tub with an integral shower, a sink and toilet. What more could I want? This cabin had everything and I was going to enjoy using it as my home for the next two weeks.

I took a quick shower to freshen up from the journey and wrapped a large white towel around my torso and wrapped my hair up, turban style. I dried myself off quickly and found a pair of sweat pants and a cami top, towel dried my hair and brushed it out, leaving it to dry naturally.

I opened up the French doors completely, flicking on a reading lamp situated next to a comfy chair that faced out toward the sea. The view was perfect, so I quickly got the rest of the food together that I had left over from the journey, placing it all on a plate, poured myself a glass of milk, took one of my books from the my small holdall and settled myself on the chair. I pulled my legs up under me and snuggled back on the chair. The lamp gave me sufficient light to read and eat by, but did not distract from the lovely vista that was in front of me. I had literally never seen such a wonderful view. The sea took on a lovely deep blue tinge at this late time of the day and the deep green forest that surrounded the cabin, made everything feel tranquil and I, in turn, felt untroubled and serene.

After a while I looked up from my book looking out onto the view. The darkness had descended and I could no longer see the outline of the seashore. The forest took on an eerie silence. I put my book down on the small table next to me and went out to stand on the patio, to take in the night air. I shivered slightly as I stood there, my body registering the change in temperature from sitting inside. As I looked around a hundred and eighty degrees, I noticed a dim light coming from the cabin just off to my right.

It must have been where Carlisle lived. It looked as though he was moving around in his kitchen. I watched him reach up to a couple of cupboards putting things away and then moments later the light went out and the cabin was thrown into darkness.

I sighed to myself and took in one last breath of the night air and turned, making my way back into the cabin. I quickly rinsed my plate under some tepid water and let it drain on the drainer next to the sink. I switched on the bedside light in the bedroom and shut the French doors, locking them securely and turned off the reading light and picked up my book. I snuggled down into bed and read a few more pages before my eyelids became too heavy to stay open and I settled down to my first night on Orcas Island.

I slept a little restlessly that night, which surprised me after all the fresh air I had breathed in; I half expected to sleep soundly. The weirdest thing about that night, was dreaming of Carlisle. It was nothing specific but strange to dream about him, nonetheless. The unanswered questions about him that were in my head, had piqued my curiosity about him. I could only hope that in the morning when I went over to Carlisle's cabin, to find out how much I owed him for the groceries, I might have some of my questions answered. He would either say yes or no to me. I had nothing to lose. I would be back in Seattle in two weeks time. We wouldn't see each other again. He wouldn't have to put up with me, for very long.

**End of Chapter**

**Author's note; **I really hope that you liked this second chapter. It would be lovely if you would review. Good or bad, I always appreciate your input. I will be working on the next chapter asap. Take care.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note; **Many thanks to Luv4jake who seems to be my only fan of this story, sadly. Never mind I will continue because I enjoy writing it so much. In this chapter we have Bella slowly getting to know Carlisle and visa versa. Enjoy.

**Disclaimer; **Twilight belongs to someone else but this story belongs to me.

**Agony and Ecstasy **

Beautiful vistas

It was the sunshine that woke me up the next morning. Not traffic outside my apartment, horns beeping, sirens wailing, just sunshine and sea birds, calling to each other. This place really was sheer bliss. I rubbed my eyes of the good nights sleep and propped myself up in the bed, leaning back on the soft headboard. Looking straight through the open bedroom door,I looked out of the French doors to the view beyond. There was nothing but blue sky and a darker shade of blue that was the sea. Glorious!

I got out of bed and having automatically looked over to the bedside table, I realised that my watch wasn't there. Of course, I had promised myself to leave it in my purse and that was exactly where it was right now; and there it would be staying. It really didn't matter what time it was. I didn't have to be anywhere. I didn't have a timetable to conform to. I was free to come and go as I pleased. And right now what I needed was a cup of coffee.

I made my way to the ktichen and made some coffee in the small coffee pot that was ideal for a couple of cups at a time. While that was infusing I went over to the French doors and unlocked them, opening them up fully. The smell of the sea air was so intense, I took a large lung full and stretched out my arms to greet the world. I lent my head back feeling the ends of my hair reach down passed my waist. The patio slabs were still quite cool underfoot but not cold enough for me to worry about putting on my trainers.

I lifted up the comfy chair by it's arms and placed it on the patio facing the sea. The ideal spot to have my morning coffee and something to eat. I sighed selfsatisfied and made my way back to the kitchen, made some buttered toast and poured out a mug of the freshly made coffee. I took my breakfast out onto the patio and made myself comfortable on the chair.

Having breakfast outside was such a rare occurrence for me. I would often have lunch at a local cafe just down the road from work,but breakfast was another matter. There was nowhere to sit ouside the apartment in the mornings, so I either ate my breakfast at the breakfast bar or on the way to work. Never like this. Never this degree of luxury. I leisurely finished breakfast and while I got myself dressed and ready for the day, I sipped at my second mug of coffee.

I decided that I would walk down to Carlisle's cabin and find out how much I owed him for the groceries. Remembering to take my purse, I locked the French doors and began the walk. It wasn't far to go but far enough to be able to take in a little more of the scenery. From a distance I could see that the VW was still parked at the side of the cabin, so he was presumably in.

His cabin was also painted white but unlike the Hale cabin, didn't show any signs of a garden or plant pots. Maybe gardening was not his thing. I wandered about that for a moment before I knocked on his door. What on earth did he do with his time on the island?

I took a large breath of courage and knocked. There was nothing but silence. I waited for a few moments and then knocked again. Maybe I was rudely waking him from his slumber. After all I didn't have a clue as to what time it was. Maybe he had after all gone out for the day but not taken the car. I thought better of knocking again and turned to make my way back to my cabin.

I had only taken three steps and I heard the door behind me open. As I turned to acknowledge him, he greeted me.

"Bella!" His tone was one of surprise. So was my face. My eyes widened to take in the sight before me. His torso was naked and he was wearing another pair of extremely paint splashed jeans. I blushed slightly at the sight of him. His body was so lean and well defined, something that had been all too well hidden beneath the t-shirt yesterday. I blinked twice and quickly refocused on the matter in hand. Groceries. That's right!

"Umm, I'm sorry to have disturbed you, Carlisle but I just wanted to ask you how much I owe you." I stated, giving him a weak smile.

"Owe me?" He asked, seemingly genuinely puzzled.

"Yes, the groceries. I want to pay for the groceries that you bought for me yesterday." A small smile played on his lips, knocking me out of my focus again. I nervously brushed non existant my hair out of my face.

"No, you don't owe me any money." He chuckled. "The Hale's rang the store up the other day and placed the order. All I did was collect it." I then blushed an even deeper shade of pink,as I realised that Rose's parents were really some of the nicest people on this planet.

"Oh, well. I see." I stumbled over my words causing Carlisle to chuckle again. His face was so alive and animated this morning compared to yesterday. I smiled back at him. "I shall have to make sure that I thank them for their generosity when I get back to Seattle." I continued, trying to mask my embarrassment.

"I'm sorry that I bothered you." I said quickly and turned to leave.

"Would you like to come in, Bella? I was just about getting ready to start on my next project. I'd like to show it off. I don't usually have an audience." He stood back from the door way and gestured with his hand for me to enter.

"Oh! Are you sure that I'm not intruding. Rose said that you were a very private person." I blushed again, slightly. I felt as if I was imparting some secret information that Rose had told me in confidence.

"Did she really? Well, that's probably what everyone on the island thinks of me then. I don't mind that in the least." He gestured with his hand again. "Please, you're welcome to come in." I responded by walking towards the door and walked over the threshold into a small hallway. "Please, go into the living room. There should be a seat available." He nodded in the direction of the living area to the right. "Would you like a drink, Bella?" He asked as he disappeared into his kitchen.

"Oh, no thank you. I've just had two mugs of coffee this morning. I'm good." I replied, walking into the living room. As I entered it, I had to stand still. I now realised exactly why his jeans were covered in paint. There was huge work desk situated at the far wall, absolutely covered in all manner of artist's paraphernalia. There were tubes of paint and palettes of mixed paints, a large container of brushes, some pieces of rag and some unusual art objects, scattered all over the surface. A large easle stood to one side of the desk, at an angle that meant most of the natural light cascaded onto the canvas,that was clipped firmly into place.

I stepped a little closer toward the canvas and could clearly make out the faint pencil lines that had been drawn. The scene was exactly that of the view from his French doors. As yet the canvas was devoid of colour but I could already see in my minds eye, the colours that he would be adding to the canvas.

"Do you like art, Bella?" His question broke me out of my daydream. I jumped and turned my body slightly, to acknowledge him.

"Oh, yes. I do. I just wish that I could create some like this." I mused.

"You could if you wanted too. All it takes is a little bit of know how and lots of time and patience." He smiled, making his way across the room to stand next to me. He lifted the glass of water to his mouth and took a large gulp. I watched as he shut his eyes for a moment and tipped his head back. I was close enough to see that the five o'clock shadow that was there yesterday was now worthy of the title ' five o'clock the next day'. It suited him though. His whole appearance was one of non conformity. He was very much his own man and no doubt didn't do anything that meant having to comform to other's ideals. The thought made me smile.

I hadn't realised that I had once again drifted off into my own daydream. He cleared his throat gently, bringing my attention back to the room. He smiled at me. I realised that he had been smiling at my vacant expressions. I blushed again, quickly walking away towards the French doors to try and conceal my embarrassment that I had been caught staring at him. I stood in silence facing the sea. It was like a mill pond this morning.

"So, Bella. What brings you to Deer Harbor?" I shrugged my shoulders before I spoke.

"I needed some time to myself." I answered, still facing the view before me.

"Why on earth would a young woman like you need to have time to herself? I thought all women of your age craved company, busy lives, hustle and bustle." He chuckled.

"Not this one." I answered, turning my head. He was now just three feet from where I was standing. I stuck my hands in the back pockets of my jeans. They were itching to touch him. So I tucked them away, under control and caged in the back pockets. I didn't have a clue what was going on with me. For a moment the urge dissipated and I felt in control of myself again.

"So, why do you feel the need to be on your own? Are you recovering?" I kept my focus on the scene ahead. But I sensed that he had taken another step towards me.

"Recovering?" I replied, not sure what he was referring to.

"Yes, from a broken heart or a loss." He said quietly.

"Nope, I didn't lose anyone and I certainly didn't have my heart broken. Actually I think I may have broken his." I chuckled. "Well, just a little may be." I added, smiling to myself. I felt at that moment that if I had broken Mike's heart, even a little bit then maybe I was learning something from Rose after all. No one had broken her heart in a long time.

"Oh, I'm quite sure his heart is broken, Bella. I am in no doubt that you are capable of breaking hearts." I turned at his words, frowning at him. The frown disappeared almost as quickly as it had formed. He was standing right behind me now and he took me by surprise.

"I would never do that deliberately." I quickly retorted, feeling slightly annoyed at him. He really didn't know me at all. Who was he to cast aspersions about my character and intentions?

"My God!" He began, looking into my eyes. "You have amazing eyes, Bella." He stood as still as a statue.

"I beg your pardon!" I could feel the anger haze rising in me. "You think that I would go around deliberately hurting men and then you say that I have amazing eyes. Are you for real?!" I noticed that my voice had notched up an octive and I was now standing facing him with my hands on my hips. I was ever so slightly more than very annoyed. I hesitated for a moment. I don't even think that what I had said, had even registered with him. He just stood there and stared into my eyes. I began to feel my resolve ebbing away as the moments passed.

This could not be happening. I came to this island in order to get away from this kind of confrontation. I didn't even know this man. I shut my eyes breifly and with great difficulty walked onto the patch of grass beyond the French doors. Having put distance between us, I felt as though I could now move without any hinderence taking the back way around the cabin. I didn't even bother to say goodbye. But I did hear his voice call out to me.

"I'm sorry, Bella!" He called out. I didn't bother to turn around. Sorry indeed! Who the fuck did he think he was? He might have been the same age as my dad but he wasn't my dad and therefore he had no right to speak to me like that! The nerve of the man!

As I reached the sanctuary of my cabin, I unlocked the French door, left the doors open and went to the bedroom to retrieve my book. I had no plans for the day and had already decided that I would just chill out so that was exactly what I would do.

Once I had calmed down.

My walk from one cabin to the other had not helped in using up the pent up energy that was pulsing through me at that moment. I paced the bedroom a few times, muttering under my breath as I felt the tension begin to ebb. I promised myself that I would not need his help in anything for the rest of my stay. He knew nothing about me and he never would.

I poured myself a glass of water and with my book under my arm, I made my way out to the chair, still situated on the patio. The sun was quite high in the sky and lovely and warm. I made myself comfortable on the chair, curling up in it, taking a sip of my water and placed the glass carefully down on the patio next to me. I opened up my book at the book mark, huffing when I realised that I was reading Pride and Prejudice. I fleetingly wondered if I was the one with the pride or the prejudice. At this precise moment in time, it felt like both.

I shook my head slightly to get rid of those thoughts and turned my attention back to the book in my hand. I was soon lost in the story once again. Even though I had read the story so many times before, it now took on new meaning. Everything else around me faded away quickly. I was once again alone in my own little happy bubble and relishing every moment of it.

During the course of my self imposed readathon, I only looked up a couple of times when turning the pages. My attention was caught by people in kayaks, paddling along the sea between Orcas Island and San Juan Island. I would watch for a few moments, marvelling at the ease with which they were moving through the waterway.

No longer having a watch to tell me the time, it wasn't until my stomach rumbled that I realised that it must be lunchtime. I placed the bookmark in the book, stood up and placed the book on the chair. I went into the kitchen to decide on what I was going to make myself for lunch. I opened the fridge door and took out a packet of cheese and a tomato. Right now a cheese and tomato sandwich would be just about perfect. I took out a knife from the cutlery draw and a chopping board.

A gentle knock came from the direction of the French doors. I turned quickly, the knife still in my hand. Carlisle was standing in the open doorway of the kitchen holding a bowl in his hands. He stopped dead when he saw the knife in my hand.

"Please don't use that! I come in peace!" He said, smiling. "Look, I even brought a gift!" He said with a flourish.

I frowned at him, not quite sure what he was going on about. I set the knife down on the counter top and moved over to him. He held out the bowl towards me so that I could see what the gift was. It literally made my mouth water. He had put together a smoked salmon and pasta mixture. It was still quite hot, judging by the steam that was rising from the dish.

"I take it, this is to be shared." I looked at him square on and unyeilding. He was after all, on my territory now. He had better watch his step.

"I had rather hoped that we would." He said quietly. I turned to the cutlery drawer and took out two forks and reached for two pasta bowls from a cupboard above the sink. Placing them down on the counter top, I turned. As I took the bowl from his hands, our fingers touched. I really didn't want to touch him. It would always make me feel that I had lost if that happened. I preferred to retreat and maintain distance at times like these. I took the bowl from him as quickly as possible, still managing to maintain my resolve, shared the contents of the bowl between the two pasta bowls, turned back to him and handed him a bowl and fork.

"Is it okay if I put the other chair on the patio, we can eat outside then?" Sure, very comfy.

I looked at him with narrowed eyes. Why did he have to look so good? It would be so much easier to dislike him, if he were remotely ordinary.

"Okay, then. Lead the way." I gesturerd with a nod of my head, in the general direction of the patio. I followed him out of the cabin with my bowl and fork. Big mistake!

I had only just registered that he still wasn't wearing anything above the waistband of his jeans. God, his back looked just as good as his front. I was sure that I would go to hell for this. The thoughts rushing through my mind just now, were pure agony.

He was old enough to be my father yet if that were the only factor that was supposed to deter me from thinking about him, I was well and truly screwed.

We made ourselves comfortable on the chairs. I made sure that I turned my body to face the sea, giving me something to focus on while I was eating.

"Do you like it, Bella?" I was daydreaming again.

"Huh? Oh, yes. It really does taste good. You're a good cook." I stated, imparting a small smile in his general direction.

"So, do you cook, Bella?" Oh my God! Twenty questions. I could feel it happening.

"Yep, I do." I answered briskly. "I bake too." I added, turning my attention back to my food.

"Wow! I don't think I've met a woman your age who knows her way around a kitchen!" He sounded like a real chauvanist. I bit my tongue and didn't answer.

With our stomachs full, we both set our empty bowls on the ground next to our chairs. I pushed myself back on my chair and tucked my legs under me, taking up my usual comfortable and relaxed position.

"So, Bella. What is the real reason why you came to Orcas Island?" I shut my eyes for a moment feeling the annoyance in me, rise once again. I took a deep breath. Okay, so here goes.

"Well since your curiosity will not be satisfied until I give you an answer, I will tell you." I sighed, watching another group of people make their way through the waterway in kayaks.

"I've just recently broken up with my boyfirend of six months. Satisfied?" I turned my head to look at him, expecting him to be smuggly smiling. But he wasn't. He completely surprised me by just sitting quietly, looking out into the distance.

He suddenly stood up, raking his right hand through his hair and looked at me. "I'll be back in a minute. Don't move." He said with a smile on his lips.

I watched him wide eyed as he made his way down the pathway, back to his cabin. He walked through his front door, leaving it open. I could just make out him moving around in the kitchen and then he went in the direction of the living room. He then walked back out through the front door, shutting it behind him. It appeared that he was carrying a large sketch pad and of all things a bottle of wine!

He walked back towards me confidently, setting the sketch pad down on his chair and continued to walk into the kitchen. I watched him, full of shock at his audacity. He returned from the kitchen having opened the bottle and found two wine glasses. He offered one of the glasses to me and I obediently took it. Then standing in front of me, he poured a measure of white wine into my glass and proceeded to fill his. He placed the bottle on the ground with his glass, next to his chair and picked up the sketch pad and sat down, making himself comfortable. He reached up and took a pencil from behind his left ear and flipped open the sketch pad. He looked straight ahead, narrowing his eyes, focusing on something in the distance.

I decided to turn the tables around and take charge of asking the questions.

"How long have you been an artist?" I watched, as he moved the pencil across the page in sweeping movements.

"Umm, it must be about twenty years now." He said quietly, still looking ahead.

"Rose told me that you've been here fifteen years. Where were you before you moved here?" I looked over to him, awaiting the answer.

There was silence. Maybe I had hit a sore point. Something that he really didn't want to talk about. I was beginning to regret having asked the question. I really didn't want to hurt his feelings. I wasn' t that much of a bitch. I was just curious, just as he was.

"I'm sorry, Carlisle. I didn't mean to pry. You don't have to answer that question." I looked down at the ground for a moment, feeling annoyed with myself that I had changed the mood of this olive branch occasion.

I didn't notice any change in his concentration in what he was doing. And then he stopped drawing and picked up his glass of wine, taking a sip.

"I was married to a very beautiful woman, twenty nine years ago. We were young. Probably too young. I had already established myself as an artist in New York. I had regular exhibitions of my work and actually did quite well, money wise." He stopped for a moment inhaling deeply and taking another sip from his glass.

"We were married for five years. For the most part we were happy. We had a lovely apartment with a great studio, a busy social life but there was one thing missing in her life." He paused for a moment, as if trying to search for the right words. "She wanted to have children. Lots of them. We tried for four years but in the end, well, I was the problem. We would never have children. She found that a very difficult outcome to bear. She found someone else who could. I moved here to get away from it all. I didn't deal with the breakup very well. Living in New York was stiffling my creativity. So I moved here. As far away from New York as possible." He took another sip of his wine and continued with his drawing.

"I'm sorry, Carlisle. I really shouldn't have asked the question. It really is none of my business." I said, quietly.

"No, it's okay, Bella. You know, it's the first time that I've told a stranger the reasons why I moved here. You just seem to be very easy to talk too, Bella." He smiled as he looked at me. I smiled back feeling a little better as if I had been forgiven, for being so nosy.

He reached forward with the bottle of wine, my cue to reach my nearly empty glass over in his direction. He carefully filled my glass. "I am very sorry that I upset you earlier, Bella. I really didn't mean to make it sound like you would break a man's heart deliberately. I really don't think you could, unless it were absolutely necessary. I take it he was a jerk, was he?" He smiled, encouragingly.

"You have no idea, Carlisle. Six months of him was long enough. He really didn't understand me, when push came to shove." I laughed. He was forgiven.

"Isn't that what the men usually say, when they want to get out of a relationship?" He sounded quite serious.

"Yes, it is, but when a woman says it then it really is true." I countered, taking a mouthful of wine this time. It was a lovely flavour, not too sweet and the alcohol haze was just beginning to kick in. My insides were feeling warm as well as my skin which was still being warmed by the sun. I was feeling very relaxed and certainly a lot more at ease talking to Carlisle now, than before.

We continued to talk about his work and a little about my job, not that it was half as interesting as the things he had done with his life. He travelled abroad quite a lot, always in search of new scenery to paint and draw. I certainly wanted to hear more about his travels another time.

When the bottle was finally empty he held it up, looking at it a little forlornly. "Oh, well. That's all gone. Maybe we can share another bottle some other time. Thank you for your company, Bella. It's been a lovely afternoon." He smiled at me warmly.

"Oh, are you going already?" I wasn't sure how that sounded. Sad. Desperate.

"Yes, I actually have a commission to do. The canvas that you saw this morning. The buyer is expecting it in three weeks time. I don't usually work to deadlines but the money was up front so I thought that maybe I should put an extra effort into this one." He chuckled, quietly.

"I feel as though I have distracted you from your work, Carlisle." I said, quitely.

"No, Bella. Not at all. I can only be distracted if I wish to be. You, Bella,have been a very pleasant distraction." He stood up and stretched for a moment, flexing his muscles. I shut my eyes quickly.

This was not doing me any good at all. I then felt him take my hand in his. I opened my eyes. He was leaning down towards me. He lifted my hand up to his mouth and kissed the back of it, very gently. It was as if he had whispered good night to me with that one kiss. I inwardly sighed. At this rate the relaxing holiday that I had envisaged was going to be pure agony. I watched him as he made his way back to his cabin, his sketch pad tucked under his arm and his pencil behind his ear. He shut the front door behind him.

I quickly took my mind off of him by tidying away the glasses, bowls and cutlery and putting the wine bottle in the recycling box. I let the bowls soak in some soapy water while I brought the chairs in from the patio. I quickly finished the washing up and set them to one side to drain. I made myself comfortable in the chair once again with my book and read a few more pages before deciding to have an early night. Thoughts of Carlisle kept on creeping back into my head while I was reading. Sleep would be the best cure for that.

He would no doubt be too busy concentrating on his painting tomorrow, to be able to leave his home. He didn't seem the kind of person to let anyone down, let alone an 'up front' paying customer.

**End of Chapter**

**Author's note; **Well, there we are, a little insight into what Carlisle does for a living and something about his past. Poor Bella is having a difficult time being around him. I'm quite sure that most of us would! While I construct the next chapter, it would be lovely if some of you would let me know what you think of this story so far, by reviewing. Good or bad opinions, I can take it all with good grace. Take care.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note;** Thank you for reading the last chapter. I'm not sure whether or not this story is being enjoyed because I'm not getting any feed back. Anyway, I shall just carry on until someone tells me that it's so awful that they want me to stop! Remember that bowl that Carlisle left at Bella's place, the day before? Well, I think she's going to have to return it, don't you? Finally a LEMON! Enjoy.

**Disclaimer; **I do not own Twilight. I just have fun, messing with the characters.

**Agony and Ecstasy**

No looking back

I had sadly neglected to write in my journal. This was one thing I had promised myself to do while I was away on holiday. I doubted that I would often holiday on my own and so I wanted to record some of my experiences and thoughts of this one. Fortunately, I had remembered to pack my easy to use and idiot proof camera. So the task for this morning was to take pictures of the scenery, from the cabin and make a start on my journal.

I fished out my camera from the small holdall and made my way out of the bedroom, opening up the French doors to let in the fresh sea air. I stood for a moment to take in the beautiful vista. I didn't think that I could ever tire of waking up to this kind of morning every day. No doubt the winter months were another matter entirely. Wind and rain were not my favourite weather experiences but I did love the snow.

I looked through the view finder and pressed the button. Ten shots later, I was satisfied that I had enough pictures to select the best from later. I put the camera away and picked up the journal and pen.

I lifted out the comfy chair onto the patio, sat down and took up my usual relaxed stance.

I opened up the book, quickly scanning my last entry. It detailed the first week that Mike and I met and the realisation hit me that I hadn't actually made an entry since then. That entry was full of hope, light-hearted and carefree. I took a deep breath and decided not to update that particular episode of my life. I couldn't believe that I had thought of him so much, that he distracted me from my writing.

And so I began.

_Having decided to take a holiday, on my own, after spitting up with Mike, I am now on Orcas Island and know that I made the best decision. I have never felt more relaxed. I'm not going to waste precious paper and ink, on detailing Mike's short-comings and lack of sensitivity. It's over and I'm thankful._

_Orcas Island is beautiful, restful. It's been two days since I arrived and the weather has been glorious. There are plenty of water sports to experience but I doubt that I will venture far from the cabin. It already feels like home. I was a little apprehensive about being on my own but now, I love it. _

_The cabin has everything that I need for my stay._

_I was greeted at the harbor by Carlisle. He lives in the cabin nearby. Lucky me. Rose's parents had kindly arranged for Carlisle to collect a box of groceries from the village store and to give me a lift to the cabin._

_He's a fascinating person. He's an artist and has lived on the island for fifteens years. The strange thing is, I've been dreaming about him. God, he's old enough to be my father, not that I know his age but he more or less confirmed my thoughts when he said that he had been married_ _once, more than twenty years ago. His story is quite sad. His wife left him to have children with another man all because Carlisle was unable to fullfil that 'duty'. The weird thing is, it made me feel angry that she did that to him. I know I don't know him and who's to say that there were not other things involved that made her do that but somehow my heart went out to him. He was obviously deeply affected by her actions because he left New York in order to start a new life, here on Orcas._

_I have so many questions I would like to ask him, but feel that I would only be intruding on his self imposed seclusion. He's working on a commissioned painting at the moment. He has to have it ready in three weeks and so far, there are only pencil lines drawn on the canvas. Yes, I saw it for myself. I stood in his living room, where he does his work. That was the second time I felt drawn to him. He has a very quiet nature but exudes confidence. He is what I would like to be; comfortable in his own skin. He has travelled to many places; places that I can only dream of. Well for now, anyway._

_And the dreams? Well, where do I begin? One minute we're talking and the next we're kissing. If the kiss in my dream is anything to go by, fuck, it's worth going to hell for. I'm pretty sure that's where I'll end up after this holiday. I'm beginning to feel tempted to act on these dreams. What's to lose? Older men are so much more experienced. So I've been told. Maybe I could learn something from him. I came here to discover what it is I want from life. Maybe this is one of those things. To experience an older man. _

_But then again he probably sees me as some stupid young woman who hasn't got a clue about anything. He probably wouldn't want to waste his time on me._

_But he did say that he didn't mind being distracted by me. Yes, he did say that and that I had amazing eyes. Of course that's probably just the artist in him. They look at everything entirely differently to the rest of us. They see everything from a different perspective. I doubt if he can imagine what my normal day to day life is. Extremely dull compared to his, that's for sure. He wakes up in the mornings and sees a wonderful array of colours. I've never seen green look so....green. And the varying shades of blue are truly amazing. He had some of those colours already mixed on one of his palettes. Each one was a perfect match to the view outside his cabin. God, I wish I had been born with that kind of talent. Just to be creative in that way, to express yourself with colour. I envy him. He's living his dream._

_Yes, my dreams. When he stopped kissing me I could feel his rough hands slip under my t-shirt. He was so gentle and thoughtful. His eyes kept searching mine as if he half expected me to refuse him. But I didn't. He began to kiss my stomach. His lips trailed kisses from one side of my body to the other as he slowly undid the zip of my jeans and then.... Damn! My dream had to end there didn't it?! I'm definitely going to hell. God, it would be like going to bed with my father._

_Now I feel sick. _

_I think I'm cured._

_But then again......._

I shut the journal and smiled to myself. It felt like anything was possible on this holiday. In less than two weeks I would be thrust back into the mayhem, that was called real life.

I would take a chance. What is life all about if not for taking chances once in a while? I had his bowl to return, after all.

I quickly changed into jeans and a t-shirt. The idea of standing at Carlisle's door in my sweat pants and a cami top would probably not go down too well. It would give the wrong impression, so to speak.

Once I brushed through my hair leaving it down, I grabbed the now clean bowl, that had contained Carlisle's peace offering. I hesitated at the French doors for a moment, warring with myself as to whether to go or not. I just knew this would happen. I was thinking too much.

I took a deep breath, locked the doors and began my walk down to Carlisle's cabin.

My heart began to beat faster the nearer I got to his front door. I could feel the flush rise to my cheeks. Surely this was so wrong but then again I just couldn't stop myself.

I knocked on the door. Remembering that he might be too absorbed in his work to hear the knock, I decided to walk around the cabin to the French doors. They would, without a doubt, be open if he was working.

And there he was.

Bare from the waist up.

I had guessed correctly. He was totally focused on the canvas in front of him. He was holding a brush. He had begun to add colour to his work. I felt a tinge of excitement that this work was now going to take shape. He looked over in the direction of the view. I realised that I was standing in his way. His face suddenly changed to one of recognition. I smiled weakly at him.

"Bella! What a pleasant surprise!" I inwardly sighed with relief. He could have quite easily told me to get the hell out of the way. But somehow I doubted it.

"Hi, I just wanted to bring back your bowl." I said, offering it to him.

"Okay, thanks." He held up his hands that were covered in various shades of green. He gave a small smile. "Would you mind very much putting it the kitchen for me?"

I nodded. "Of course. I'll get out of your way then." I quickly walked past him, keeping my focus on the direction that I was heading for. I sensed that he turned and watched me walk away. I walked into the kitchen and took a much needed deep breath. The room was exactly the same size and shape as the one at my cabin. I set the bowl down on the counter top, next to the fridge. As I turned to leave the kitchen, Carlisle was standing in the doorway, completely blocking my only way out. He was using a rag to wipe his hands. The muscles in his arms and across his chest had me mezmerised, as he cleaned his hands. I stood still for a moment trying to figure out whether or not I should ask him to move. He studied me without a flicker of emotion on his face. I consciously did the same. I was determined not to feel intimidated, as I usually would in a situation like this and stood my ground.

"You don't have to go right this minute, do you?" He finally asked, tucking the rag in the back pocket of his jeans but not moving from his spot.

He had given me an option but his tone was such that if I had said yes, he would be disappointed. I was also sure that if I did say yes, he would move out of the way to let me go. But did I really want to go? My heart began to thump hard once again as he kept his eyes trained on me. The ball was well and truly in my court and I need to serve it back to him, one way or another.

I shook my head slightly. "No, I don't have to go, just yet." I finally replied. His stance visibly relaxed and he smiled. I couldn't help but smile back.

"Would you like something to drink, Bella? I have a bottle of wine chilling." He stated, moving towards the fridge. I stepped to one side to allow him access to the fridge door.

"Isn't it a little early for that?" I retorted.

He looked at me with a puzzled frown. "Well, it's Sunday, it's gone one o'clock and feel like celebrating in some small way." I looked at him with wide eyes.

"Is that the time? I hadn't realised. I haven't even had lunch yet!" The thought of wine on an empty stomach would not do me any good.

"What did you do? Leave your watch back in Seattle?" I chuckled at him. He had almost got that right.

"Actually, I left my phone at home and haven't worn my watch since I got here. I'm in official 'holiday' mode." I informed him, proudly.

He raised an eyebrow. "So, if I make you something to eat, you'll share the bottle of wine with me?" It sounded totally logical to me! I nodded.

"Deal." I replied. And then in the next breath, I asked. "What are you going to make for me?" I leaned back on the edge of the counter top, feeling relaxed and sure of myself in the company of this man.

"Well, I have some left over cooked rice and some cooked chicken." He listed, as he rummaged around in the fridge. "And some left over vegetables. How about I make a quick Chinese stir fry?" He looked over to me, as he took out the ingredients for the feast.

"That's sounds great." I answered. "You will join me though, won't you? It wouldn't feel right to eat on my own." I added.

"Okay, Bella. Here, you take the bottle and glasses and make yourself comfortable. Let me open the bottle." I gathered up the two glasses in one hand, as he deftly extracted the cork from the bottle with a cork screw. He handed me the bottle and I made my way out to the living room. I placed the bottle and glasses on the edge of the desk and moved the chair out onto the grass area, just outside the French doors. I looked for another chair and found one hidden under a pile of magazines and a couple of sheets. I carefully removed the magazines and sheets, placing them on the floor and put the now empty chair, outside, a couple of feet away from the other one.

I gathered up the glasses and bottle and sat down in a chair and poured myself some wine. Only minutes later, Carlisle brought out two bowls of the steaming concoction. It smelt wonderful. He handed me a bowl and spoon and sat down in his chair.

"This looks lovely, Carlisle. Thank you so much." I said gratefully, taking my first mouthful. "So, what are you celebrating?" I looked over to him to wait for his answer.

"The fact that I may well be able to get the painting finished, inside of the three week deadline." He replied, smuggly.

"I take it you usually have more time to finish your commisions?" I stated.

"Yep, usually up to eight weeks or in some cases open ended, as long as the customer is happy." He replied, looking ahead as he ate.

I finished my meal, setting the bowl down on the grass and picked up my glass and took a mouthful of wine.

"Bella, can I ask you something?" I looked over to him. He sounded nervous.

"Umm, yes." So was I.

"Would you sit for me?" He asked, looking straight ahead, as if dreading the answer.

"You want to paint a picture of me?" I whispered, shocked.

"Yes." He began, turning to face me now. "I want to have something to remember you by, when your holiday is over." I could hardly believe what he was saying.

"Why on earth would you want to paint me?" He chuckled, gently.

"Because you're beautiful, Bella. I paint beautiful things and I want to paint you." I swallowed hard at his words, my inner termoil rising up once again.

"No one has ever called me beautiful." I stated quietly. I wasn't sure if it was the effects of the wine or the fact that he called me beautiful but tears quickly welled in my eyes and broke free, rolling down my cheeks.

Without a word he stood up, taking just two strides to close the gap bewteen us. He reached down to me and cupped my face with both hands, brushing the tears away with his thumbs. His breath fanned over my lips as he moved his face closer to mine. Shit! I was on my way to hell.

"But you are." He whispered and then his lips were on mine. My dream had become reality. Since when do my dreams become a reality?! Never, until now.

His lips were soft and gentle, touching mine, feather light. I shut my eyes wanting more. He got the message. He moved his lips away from mine, just a fraction and then they were on mine again, this time there was more pressure behind the kiss. Our mouths moulded together perfectly synchronised. He smelt of wine, chicken, soy sauce and chillies. Very enticing.

I snaked my arms around his neck pulling him closer to me.

I wanted more.

For the first time, I knew exactly what I wanted.

Him.

I wanted to taste him. I sucked his bottom lip between mine. He groaned, spurring me on. I slid my tongue into his mouth. And he responded. God, he tasted good!

As our tongues danced to their own tune, my heart was racing and my stomach began to twitch, the internal coil tightening. These feelings were almost completely alien to me. It was heavenly to know that everything was functioning as it should be, at a time like this.

He moved his hands from my face and placed them on my waist, pulling me to my feet. Braking away from our kiss, he peppered my face with kisses. I gasped for air and trailed my hands down from his neck and along his heaving chest, down over his stomach and finally rested them on his waist, just above the waistband. He kissed his way down to my neck, licking and sucking gently.

"Bella." He whispered, against my flesh. "Tell me what you want." I struggled to gather together some kind of coherent thoughts. I didn't want to fight this.

"I want..." My breath hitched at the realization of what I was about to say. "I want you."

He kissed my mouth again, taking my hand and bending down in front of me to hand me my glass and pick up his own and the bottle. Without a word he led me back into his cabin, turning left in the hallway, pushing open a half closed door. His bedroom.

I took another mouthful of wine from my glass as he placed the bottle down on the chest of drawers. I watched him as he too, took another mouthful from his glass and taking my glass from me, he set them both down next to the bottle. He reached out to me taking my hands in his pulling me to him again. My instincts took over.

I kissed his chest, licking and tasting him, his flesh was salty and sweet all at the same time. Pure heaven.

I moved my head back for a moment as I felt my t-shirt being pulled up my body and over my head. He reached down and placed his lips against my chest, licking and sucking, again. He was seriously, driving me insane!

I tucked my fingers over the top of his waistband, findng the button and opening it. I slowly pulled the zip down with one hand, resting the other on his stomach. His stomach muscles contracted as I slid his jeans down his hips, making sure that his boxer shorts followed too. As his clothing slid down his legs, pooling at his naked feet, he stepped out of them not losing contact or concentration as he kissed my flesh at the top of my bra. That was the next item to be disposed of.

"Lay down for me, Bella." He whispered. I disconnected myself from him and crawled onto the bed, turning over and laying down, resting my head on the pillows. He stood for a moment watching me, licking his lips. My eyes trailed from his eyes that were now so dark, I could hardly remember what colour they were ten minutes ago. He was breathing deeply, his chest rising and falling with every breath he took. His body was amazing. It glowed with the pale pink flush of anticipation.

When my eyes reached, what my trobbing centre craved, I smiled as I watched his cock twitch under the build up of his increasing excitement. I felt rediculous still wearing my jeans and quickly undid them as he began to crawl up the bed. I lifted up my hips and he pulled my jeans down, along with my panties, discarding them to the floor.

He placed his lips gently on my stomach, as I reached my fingers into his hair, tugging gently to bring him further up my body.

"Bella." He whispered. "I don't have any protection." I smiled.

"I'm on the pill. When was the last time you did this kind of thing, Carlisle?" I wouldn't be surprised if he told me three days ago.

"Umm, seven years." Holy fuck! Seven years! He couldn't be telling the truth, could he?

I cupped my hands around his face and pulled him to me. I looked him straight in the eyes. "You're telling the truth aren't you." I stated. He nodded, sincerely.

I pulled his face to mine, forcing my tongue into his mouth hungrily. He had gone seven years without sex and I was begging for it after just ten days. Ten days ago I was definitely not begging for it but now with Carlisle, I was. He had triggered something in me that I hoped would stay with me from now on. If I lost this feeling at the end of the holiday then I may as well become a nun.

The intensity within me grew and I flipped him over onto his back and straddled his hips. He looked up at me and grinned. I grinned back. We were so going to enjoy this.

I gently stroked his chest with the tips of my fingers. He shuddered slightly and I could feel goosebumps appear, where ever my fingers trailed. It was only to be expected that he would react this way. Seven years of not being touched intimately by a woman. Shit, how lucky was I to be that woman now? He grabbed my face between his green stained hands, pressing his mouth to mine again, our tongues twisting and tasting each other. Our mouths seemed to belong together, as if we'd always done this.

I could feel his cock tapping my backside. Begging to enter me.

I shifted my body slightly forward and up, ready to decsend. And then, in the next breath I did, enveloping him completely. He broke away from our kiss and groaned.

"God, Bella. You feel so good." He whispered, holding me close and kissing my neck. Of course I would. He hadn't been this close to a woman in seven fucking years!

I pushed myself upwards, leaning on his chest and pressed my thighs harder against his hips, to keep my balance, as I rode him. I reached my first high just the second time I came down on him. I hadn't come that fast, ever.

"God, your so wet, Bella." He mumbled. He closed his eyes, reaching out to palm my breasts. This only caused me to increase my pace. His cock hit my sensitive spot every time. I was breathing heavily by this time and so was he. I had come so many times that it was by now, one huge wave enveloping me. I thought I was going to pass out.

"I just knew you would feel like this, Carlisle." I gasped. "I dreamt about you and just knew you would make me feel like this." I was past caring, telling him the truth.

"You have no idea the thoughts I've been having about you, Bella." Oh God! He knew exactly what to say. As the words fell from his lips, my walls tightened even more and we both groaned at the same time. I could feel his body tensing ever so slightly, more than before. I didn't let up with my pace. I placed my hands behind me, gripping the tops of his strong thighs, just to make sure that I kept my balance.

I felt him pulsate inside me, deliciously. He was so close. I looked down at his face, sheer pleasure etched all over it, from his swollen pink lips, to the sheen of sweat on his forehead and the colour rising in his cheeks.

"Oh, Bella, I'm so close!" He breathed.

"I know and it's going to feel, fucking fantastic." I replied. He immediatley opened his eyes, surprised at my words. Shit, I even surprised myself!

His mouth hung open as he watched my body move backwards and forwards, riding him to the bitter end. And there it was. The final time I came down on him he spilled into me. We both shut our eyes to enjoy the intesity of the moment. The top of my scalp tingled in repsonse to the final high and I slowed down my pace gradually, still pulsating around him, milking him completely.

I could no longer sit upright. My thighs and arms gave out and I gently fell onto his chest, still connected. We were silent for a time. I listened to his heartbeat as it eased up to a more regular pattern. My heart eased too.

He trailed his fingers through my hair and kissed to top of my head.

"Why on earth did he let you go, Bella. The man was an idiot." I smiled and kissed his chest. We looked into each other's eyes.

"You say the sweetest things." I replied. "He didn't do what he should have done, in order to get this kind of result. I would call him inexperienced compared to you." I grinned.

"I'd call him plain stupid. I'm glad his was though. You would have had no reason to take a holiday on your own otherwise. And I wouldn't be feeling a beautiful girl in my arms right now." As he spoke he wrapped his arms around me and kissed my lips gently, once again.

We spent the best part of an hour in bed, talking, laughing and finishing the wine between us. It was the best afternoon I had ever experienced. I couldn't stop smiling and neither could he. I was beginning to feel comfortable in my own skin.

"I want to start on your picture tomorrow, Bella." He said, seriously.

"But what about your commissioned piece?" I countered.

"The light that I need for that painting, only lasts for a few hours in the morning. We can have lunch together and then make a start." I nodded, understanding completely.

"I'll cook tomorrow. It's the least I can do, for all you've done for me." I smiled. I wasn't going to take no for an answer.

"Okay, Bella. Now, before you disappear, how about a nightcap?" He grinned.

"Nightcap time is hours away." I retorted, gently.

"Indeed, Bella. Indeed." He answered, pulling me close to him again, kissing my neck and causing me to moan.

Hell would have to wait.

Right now, I was in heaven.

**End of Chapter**

**Author's note; **So, while I recover from all of that and clear my head to start thinking about the next chapter, let me know what you think of this liaison, ideally in a review. Good or bad, it's good to know what you think of it so far. Take care.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note; **Many thanks for the reviews for the previous chapter and the inclusion of this story on Favourites/Story Alerts Lists. You are very encouraging. I decided to do a POV for this chapter. Here we have Carlisle and his thoughts about the arrival of Bella on the Island. He is just wonderful! It's short but very sweet. Enjoy.

**Disclaimer; **I do not own Twilight. I think for the time being, Carlisle owns me.

**Agony & Ecstasy**

No more 'groundhog' days

CarlislePOV

My God, what have I done to deserve this woman?

When the Hale's rang me, to organise for me to collect a woman from Orcas Village and a box of groceries, I thought I was going to be collecting some bitter divorcee like last time. It took me almost the whole seven years to get over that encounter. Those memories are neatly filed away under 'unmitigated disasters'. That file only contains her details.

How wrong was I?

She stood there at the harbour, like some Greek goddess, paying homage to the eliments. Her eyes were shut, her waist-length hair was flowing and being tossed about in the breeze. I'd never seen anything so beautiful, for such a long time. I couldn't speak at first. She took my breath away.

When I did finally recover enough brain function, to get the words out, she opened her eyes and I felt like I had just woken up from unconsciousness. I'd never seen eyes with such depth, in a long time. Burnt Umber mixed with a touch of Indian Red, was what my brain registered.

Her eyes reminded me of Lizzie. At first it was like a stab in the heart and I had to keep reminding myself that Lizzie left me years ago and I had moved on.

Memories are there for a reason; they remind us of things that we either need to embrace or avoid like the plague. Without them we would be caught up in a 'groundhog day' life and yes, I have to admit, that is more or less how my life has turned out.

I came here to this Island to get away from the memories. To start a new life but all I had managed to achieve was a routine of devoting, more or less, all of my time to my work, and very little time to actually live a new life. Of course, I have had the occasional female distraction over the years but holidays only usually last between seven and fourteen days. The women had lives to go back to, once the holiday was over. In some cases they even had husbands and boyfriends to go back to. It was always a mutual non-verbal agreement, that it was a temporary arrangement and fun while it lasted. I had, as yet, never come across a woman that I would want to spend valuable time with.

I knew the minute I saw Bella, that it would be different with her. I could easily spend every moment of the day with her. Her voice was music to my ears. Her body was an artist's dream. Well, certainly for this artist, anyway.

But she was so young. I felt like a complete pervert for looking at her like that. It had been many years since a woman had sat for me. During the first twenty four hours of Bella's arrival, many thoughts went through my mind as to how I would be able to get her to sit for me.

I very nearly ruined everything by upsetting her. Me and my big mouth! Living on this Island for so long and being so secluded, meant that my communication skills were sadly lacking in the 'think before you speak' department. That was partly due to the fact, that previous encounters with women, were purely of the physical kind and very little conversation was expected of me. In some cases, their first name was all that I was privvy too.

Bella was different. Bella was young. I hadn't spent any quality time with a woman young enough to be my daughter, ever. I certainly wouldn't count being acquainted with Rosalie Hale, as a warming experience. She had been nothing but a nuisance the last time she was over here. That must have been about four years ago now.

She certainly had grown into a very attractive young woman, but seemed to lack a warm heart. Maybe I was being too hard on the girl but the young man that she brought with her that time, seemed to be there for one reason and one reason only. From what I understood from her parents Rosalie went through men, like I was capable of getting through a bottle of wine. Fast!

So, having upset Bella, I found myself in the unusual position of craving her company for the only thing that I felt worthy of, conversation, I had to act quickly to redeem myself. I could not envisage fourteen days of having this beautiful woman staying next door and not being able to see or even speak to her. So, I set about creating a peace offering.

As I entered her cabin I was acutely aware of the bounderies that had to be kept intact. I had always regarded myself as a gentleman, first and foremost, and if Bella had told me to go away, then I would have, quite happliy. But I would be bitterly disappointed, if she did, and I would only have myself to blame.

The minute she laid her eyes on the food, I knew she would weaken. I watched, as her eyes widened for a moment. My heart literally jolted. God, this was going to be so hard. But I fought through the myriad of emotions, that were coursing, both through my body and my brain, at that moment. I just had to think of her as a daughter. That certainly kept me in check.

We shared the meal and I had earned her forgiveness, that I really didn't deserve. Bella really did have a warm heart. As we chatted, I thought that maybe it would be the ideal time to ask her if she would sit for me. So, I took a different approach. I armed myself with my sketch pad and a bottle of wine that I was sure would help with the easy conversation and atmosphere, that we were now sharing.

I had never told anyone, the reason for my exodus to Orcas Island. I just seemed to be able to open up to Bella. I had finally, after all these years, been able to share my story, with a total stranger. Something in me, felt a sense of relief and gratitude, that we had met. Suddenly the painting that I had been commissioned to do, was no longer a chore. I decided then and there that I would stop putting it off and begin to put colour on the canvas, the next morning. I would have to be up fairly early, in order to capture the right light. If I dedicated a few hours every morning to that work, then maybe, if Bella agreed to my request, I would have the pleasure of her company long enough to have a lasting reminder of her, for the rest of my life. She was my own muse and had broken me out of my 'groundhog day' existence.

But then my nerves got the better of me. I sat there, with my sketch pad and the request on the tip of my tongue. I backed out. Her genuine concern for me, her gentle nature, in fact, her entire self, was too much to cope with. If she did say yes, would I be able to bear studying her everyday, and keep my true feelings for her, hidden? It would be a lot simpler to not ask and spare both of us any hurt on my part or regret on hers.

I began to sketch the view in front of me for something to do. It was all too familiar to me; I could no doubt draw the scene, in my sleep.

The empty bottle was the perfect cue for me to take my leave. Staying any longer than what I did, would have brought about serious thoughts of re-tracing the boundaries I had set.

But I could not possibly leave, without showing her how much I had enjoyed her company and how much I appreciated her forgiveness. When I stood to take my leave, I looked at her to say goodbye. Her eyes were closed. The temptation to touch her was too much for me to resist. I took her hand in mine and kissed it gently. If that was the total amount of intimacy I would be allowed, during her stay, I would have to be satisfied.

Imagine my surprise, when the next day she was suddenly standing, in my line of vision. I had not been able to get her out of my head and she was not making it any easier for me. She was simply returning the bowl, I had left behind, the day before. If I had not been so hasty to leave her, my day would have been one of concentrating on the task in hand. But now she was here and my instincts were beginning to take hold. Those boundaries were beginning to look rather smuged around the edges. The fact that my hands were covered in various shades of green oils, was the perfect excuse for her to take the bowl into the kitchen for me. It was time for me to take a break, anyway.

Maybe standing in the doorway, blocking her exit was not ideal, but it gave me the chance to give her an option to stay or leave. I wasn't in the mood to let her go without hearing her answer.

I sighed with relief that she chose to stay. The fact that I could make another meal for us, and share some more time with her was an added bonus. I was beginning to feel the nervousness, that went with asking her the question, disappearing fast. With the bottle of wine opened and my mind focused on the task of making the food, I decided that I would ask her, even if her answer was yes, it would be worth the agony, every day, to eventually have her picture hanging in my home.

When I took the food out to her I decided to keep the conversation light. I shared with her the fact that I was going to get the commissioned painting done on time. When we finished eating, I seized the moment. I was quite taken aback, that she was surprised that I wanted to paint her. It seemed absurd to me that someone as beautiful as Bella, had never been painted before. I always thought that parents loved to have lasting memories of their children, hanging proudly on display, in their homes.

I was completely dumbfounded when she told me that no one had ever called her beautiful!

Were all the people in her life complete morons!

I knew that her ex-boyfriend was, that went without saying. But everyone else! And then she quietly began to cry.

I could not bear to see her cry. I felt anger and frustration, that this wonderful woman had been so overlooked and undervalued.

I could not bear to see the tears. They needed to be wiped away. As I took those steps towards her, I knew then that my boundaries were a total waste of time.

I could no longer hold myself back or keep away from her.

As I kissed her, all of my resolve disappeared and I knew that she wanted me too. But I needed to hear the words from her own lips. Guess work was not an option in this circumstance. I could not ask something of Bella, that was not freely given, whether it was her time, in sitting for me or in spending it with me right now, intimately.

My heart soared at her answer. I didn't hesitate a moment longer than necessary.

He body was perfection in the dim light of my bedroom. I felt like the luckiest man alive. And so should any man that Bella decided to spend time with. My wish for her would be to find such a man. But for now she was with me and I would make her feel beautiful. I would put all those other people, who had neglected to tell her the truth, to shame.

Of course, I had forgotten what seven years of celibacy can do to a man. It was hard to hold back. I had to think everything through, make myself take the time. I couldn't possibly mess this up, by being impatient. As she laid on my bed and I took away the last pieces of clothing, the pressure building in my body, was going to be hell to contain. I wanted her. More than I had ever imagined. And she wanted me.

It seemed that the fact I shared with her, that I hadn't slept with a woman in seven years, triggered something in her. I thought for a moment, that she would laugh at me and regard the whole idea of us in bed together, as a complete joke.

God, was I wrong about her.

She was everything, and more.

She took control completely, surprising me with her actions and shocking me with her words. Fucking fantastic! Those words had never sounded so good.

And she was right. Everything she did was fantastic. Every movement, every kiss and every moan.

The fact that we both confessed, that we had been thinking of each other, only spurred me on. I had to concentrate so hard. The feeling of her walls enveloping me and the amount of pleasure that she gave me, almost had me undone, too soon. I focused on her breathing and when each time, it hitched, she reached another high. I was doing that to her and I didn't want it to end. Until finally it was all too much for us and the orgasmic wave that hit both of us at the same time, could not be held back.

I cradled her in my arms, our heartbeats slowing down and her pulsating walls, stilled once again.

As I trailed my fingers through her hair, the thought of her leaving was beginning to hurt. I had to paint her and keep a little part of her, with me, always.

So, we made a deal. I would work on the commissioned painting in the mornings while the light was right and then we would have lunch together before starting on her painting. She even offered to cook the lunch. What could be fairer than that?

We stayed in bed, in our own little world. I couldn't stop stroking, kissing and hugging her. I felt so alive!

She talked about her parents and their unfortunate breakup. She spoke about Phoenix, fondly. I told her about the time that I had visited that area, myself, many times in the past. I was going through my desert phase, for all intents and purposes. The sunsets were truly amazing and a challenge to capture on canvas. Fortunately I succeeded and was able to produce enough finished pictures, to warrant an exhibition of my works. She was duly impressed.

I could not get enough of her smile. She seemed so much more confident. I had hoped, that I had caused that change. That whatever short-comings she had put up with, during her time with the ex-boyfriend, were now hopefully filed away in her own 'unmitigated disasters' file. I think it had been proven that she was not the disaster in that relationship.

She shared with me the good friendships that she had with a young woman called Alice and of all people, Rosalie or Rose as Bella, affectionately called her. I was amazed. As she spoke about Rosalie, it was as if she was talking about another person entirely. I mentally reprimanded myself for thinking so little of the woman. I really didn't know her at all. She seemed to have genuine affection for Bella and had, after all, suggested that she spend her two weeks holiday over here. If Bella hadn't listened to Rosalie's wise words, I would not have met this amazing woman. I would still be merely existing instead of living.

There was so much more that I wanted to know about her, and I could tell, that she had many more questions to ask of me.

We were once again faced with an empty wine bottle. I really didn't want to let her go.

My suggestion that she stay for a nightcap was very quick thinking. Nightcap time was at least another four hours away. Just looking at her face, I knew that she would stay. I enveloped her in my arms, kissing her in places, that I knew made her feel good.

I felt fully recovered. It was now my turn, to take control.

**End of Chapter**

**Author's note; **I hope you enjoyed a chance to get inside Carlisle's head. He is such a charmer. I shall go away now and begin to think about the next chapter. Take care.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note; **Many thanks to all of you who reviewed the previous chapter. Thank you also, to all of you, who have added this story to your Favourites/Story Alerts Lists and to those who have added, little old me, to their Favourite Author's List. You are all very kind and encouraging. This chapter is Bella's thoughts once again and deals with the morning after the night before and the first sitting for Bella's portrait. That should be interesting. Let us join them again, shall we? Enjoy!

**Disclaimer; **I do not own Twilight. I think Bella is having much more fun in this story. Don't you?

**Agony and Ecstasy**

Confusion Reigns

I had fully intended to go back to my cabin the night before. Unfortunately the nightcaps affected me, more than I had expected.

Note to self; steer clear of Brandy from now on.

When I first woke up, I felt a little disorientated and for a split second panicked, when I realised that I was still in Carlisle's bed. I had broken Rose's golden rule, yet again. God, I was hopeless!

Thankfully, I was on my own. I was sure the sight of me, first thing in the morning, would have put him off the idea of letting me stay another night, let alone paint my portrait. After all, Mike had always just rolled over and poked me with his morning wood, without even looking at me. I shoved that image out of my brain, immediately. This was not Mike's bed. This was Carlisle's bed I woke up in and he hadn't woken me up, in fact, I wasn't sure where he was, right at this precise moment in time.

I found one of his t-shirts, discarded on a chair, slipped it on and headed for the bathroom to freshen up. I looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was a complete mess! Just for a change I really didn't mind. It had been well and truly worth it. Every. Single. Minute.

I trailed my fingers through my hair, to get out some of the knots. I would have to deal with it back in my cabin. I splashed some cold water on my face to help me to wake up, a little more. As I opened the bathroom door, the smell of coffee wafted, from the kitchen. I stood in the kitchen doorway and watched on, as he busied himself, preparing mugs and plates. Toast was cooking. He was making us breakfast! This is exactly what a lover should be doing first thing in the morning. This was the kind of thing that would actually give me cause, to take him back to bed. I halted my thoughts. They were really running away with me now. I had to slow down.

This was just a holiday liaison. It couldn't be anything else. We were two very different people, from two very different backgrounds heading for two very different futures.

I would have to make sure that this didn't become more, than it was actually intended to be. I was beginning to have feelings for him. Even before we slept together.

My stomach churned. My head told me to stop now before I fell in, any deeper. The rest of my body remembered the wonderful time we had yesterday. I really wasn't thinking straight. Someone was going to end up getting hurt. And it would probably be me.

"Good morning, sleepy head." He whispered in my ear, planting a kiss on my forehead. I was so lost in my own thoughts, that I failed to register that he had walked over to me.

I focused my attention on him. "Good morning." I whispered back, leaning into him. I really was, a lost cause.

"I'd better have this and then go back to my cabin and get ready for the day." I said, trying to sound nonchalant, but no doubt, failing miserably.

A grin appeared on his face. "Do you really have to go? You could get ready here. You look rather delicious, wearing my clothes." With just those words, he was beginning to do things to certain parts of my anatomy.

I swatted his arm playfully. "Er, yes. I do need to get back to my cabin. You have work to do and I will just be in the way." I chided.

"You could always stay in my bed. It looked rather lovely this morning, with you in it. In fact, I know that you would grace any piece of furniture, if I decided to place you on it." His grin grew wider. And so did my eyes.

"My, you are the adventurous kind. Care to elaborate?" I slapped myself internally. Where had my resolve gone?

"Well, the shower is big enough and if I tidied up the desk in the living room..." I cut him short, placing my index finger on his lips. He snaked his arms around my waist. The nearness of him, was truly beginning to affect my decision making skills.

"Stop right there. You're not being very fair. I really need that coffee and toast, before I do anything else, today." He obediently took his arms away from my waist and stepped back, two paces. It was wonderful that he respected my request like that.

"Of course, Bella. Coffee and toast, coming right up!" He announced. I sighed inwardly, as he handed me my mug of coffee.

He buttered the toast and set the slices on the plates, handing one to me.

"It's lovely outside. Shall we?" He asked, gesturing with his head towards the, French doors. I nodded, in agreement and turned, making my way out to the chairs that had already been placed, outside on the grass. As I walked through the living room, I stopped for a moment to look at the painting he was working on. He had obviously added to it, this morning. He was indeed, sticking to his schedule.

"What do you think, Bella?" He asked as he walked by, to take his seat. I joined him.

"I think it looks really good. But I'm no expert!" He looked over to me and smiled.

"None of us are experts, Bella." He began. "I just paint _my_ interpretation of what _I_ see. That doesn't necessarily mean that the viewer sees my work, as _I _do. There are no hard and fast rules to art. It means something different to each individual. In my opinion the experts are my customers. They know exactly what they like and therefore will buy, exactly what they like." He added, taking another sip of his coffee.

I sat quietly for a moment.

"Is that why you live here, Carlisle?" He looked at me a little confused.

"I'm not sure what you mean, Bella." I placed my empty plate on the grass and sipped at my coffee.

"By living here you're far enough away from the critics and the experts. They know the work you've done in the past. But now there must be very few of your paintings in circulation. Can you imagine the excitement when a new piece of yours, does go into circulation? You remain a mystery to them. An enigma. Whatever work you produce now, will leave them wanting more because you no longer give of yourself freely." That was a bit deep, even for me. But I meant it.

He sat quietly for a moment, staring out at the sea.

"What do you think I should do?" I looked at him, stunned. How the hell would I know, what he should do? I didn't even know what_ I _wanted to do with my life. How could I possibly give him advice about his? I hadn't yet learnt from my own mistakes.

I breathed deeply and kept my tone soft. "I don't know, Carlisle, I'm not you." I could not be more honest than that. I couldn't even begin to tell a grown man, what he should do with his life.

"Of course, Bella. This is something I really do need to think about. But I do have a feeling that you will, in some way, help with that." I wasn't sure what he meant. He simply looked over to me and smiled.

"Right." He began. "You go and get yourself ready. I want to make a start on your picture." He paused for a moment, tilting his head to one side, studying me. I blushed slightly. A huge grin appeared on his face. "That's the look I would love to capture." His voice became husky, as it had been, last night.

"What, with my hair all over the place looking like I...." I let my words trail off.

"Yes." He said. "That's exactly why I want to capture that look. You were at your most beautiful, when your hair was wild and your skin flushed, just like that."

He certainly wasn't shy in coming forward. A creative mind. I reminded myself. They do indeed see everything differently.

I stood up and held out my mug to him. "Right, so while I go and get myself ready, you can do the washing up. I have a lunch to prepare. I'll be back as soon as the lunch is cooked. So you'll have plenty of be time to get things organised, won't you?" He took the mug from me looking a little sad. I ignored it. Those puppy dog eyes were not going to work this morning. I really needed to have a shower and deal with my hair. I went back to his bedroom, to collect my clothes.

"Okay, Bella. I'll be ready." He called out.

With my clothes gathered up, I slipped on my flats and had my key ready. I walked back through to where he was still sitting. I looked down at him.

"I'll bring back the t-shirt, later." I assured him.

"You're welcome to keep it, Bella. It looks so much better on you, somehow." He smiled, his eyes travelled the length of my body, looking at me as though I was naked. His eyes were an amazing green this morning. If he kept looking at me like that, when I sat for him, this picture was going to take a while to complete.

I shook my head slightly to refocus and began to walk back to my cabin.

My first task was to quickly prepare the lunch. While that was cooking, I had my shower. Afterwards, I wraped my hair up, turban style and slipped into my robe. I then put the food in the oven, to complete the cooking process. Once I was dressed and had dried my hair, I grabbed my journal and sat down, pen in hand.

_Where shall I begin today?_

_The kiss. Yes, the kiss that I had with Carlisle in my dream. Well, guess what? Dreams can sometimes come true. And real life in this case, was a hundred times better._

_And where my dream stopped...... the reality didn't. I never knew I had it in me. It was there, all this time, just waiting to be released. All I had to do was meet the right man, to help me. I have never felt so wanted before and so beautiful. Yes, that's what Carlisle called me. Beautiful. And I cried. I felt so stupid. You don't cry when a man like Carlisle pays you a compliment. But I did. And he was wonderful, kind and gentle. He looked at me as though was something precious. _

_I've never felt so good in a man's arms before. It was as if he knew me, but we've only just met. I suppose it's down to all the life experiences he's had and in a sense, how he can read people. I didn't hold back on him. I just let go and it was amazing. I suppose that's how it should be between two people. That's if you find the right person to begin with. But then again, doesn't that usually happen gradually, as you get to know the person. We seemed to have skipped over all of the awkward moments that two people would normally, go through together. We've arrived at the 'I feel comfortable with you' stage, already._

_I'm not going to over think this. I'm here on holiday. That's all. And I intend to enjoy every single minute of it. Just like yesterday afternoon and evening. When I go back to Seattle and back to work, the only thing that will have changed, is my attitude towards sex. Thank goodness that it has. I think I might have given up on it, if I hadn't met Carlisle. I might even be brave enough to call the shots, when and if I find someone, I want to be with. I'm beginning to see how Rose thinks now. How confidence gives you the edge. It allows you to be in control of what you want and what you will allow to happen. I won't be letting any man near me now, unless I want him too. Wow! Bella Swan is finally going to draw up her own set of rules. _

_And I'm going to stick to them._

_Today is going to be the first time that I sit for my portrait. I really don't know what to expect. When someone takes a photo, it's over in seconds. This will be totally different. I don't know if he'll want to work in silence or if we'll be able to talk. I'd still like to ask him more questions about his travels. When we talked about Phoenix it made me feel a little homesick. He doesn't have any pictures of the sunsets to show me. They were all sold. I think, when I get back to work, I'm going to have to Google him and do a little research. I wonder if there are any of those paintings, still in circulation. I'd love to be able to buy one. Mind you, I may have to save up some money first. If I'm right in thinking that his pictures are sought after, then I may need to ask Jasper for a raise. I'm sure that would be an interesting conversation._

I shut my journal and placed it back on the bedside table. I gathered together our lunch, secured the cabin and walked back to Carlisle's cabin, feeling very pleased with myself and overall, confident.

I arrived back at the French doors. He was nowhere to be seen. I decided to walk throught to the kitchen. He must have known that the food was on it's way. He was busy getting plates and cutlery together and filling two glasses with water.

"Here we are!" I announced as I walked over to the counter top, setting down the lidded dish. He immediately stepped forward and planted a chaste kiss on my cheek.

"That looks lovely, Bella. What is it?" I huffed at him. What is it indeed! I lifted off the lid. He leaned forward shutting his eyes for a moment and inhaled the aroma of the meal."Umm, meat balls and pasta." He murmured, finally opening his eyes and smiling, that he had guessed correctly.

I leaned forward and kissed his cheek, before he stood up straight, once more. I just couldn't help myself. For the first time, in a long time, a man had complimented me on my cooking. This man knew every trick in the book. I was sure of it. And I was sure that he was going to use them to good effect.

He turned, slightly, in my direction, snaking his arm around my waist. I was completely entranced by him. His face was so close to mine, his eyes holding my gaze.

"Bella?" He whispered. "I really do want to make a start on your picture. Can we eat now?" He kissed my lips, softly, sending a wonderful shiver down my spine.

"Uh huh." I answered. Oh yes, he had seriously messed with my brain! He grinned and pulled away, quickly dividing the meal between the two plates, picking them up and leading the way out to the chairs, once again.

I watched him as he walked away. God, how does he do that?! I liked it though, very much.

I quickly picked up the cutlery and glasses of water and followed him out, admiring the view of him, walking ahead of me.

We settled in the chairs and ate, in total silence. We didn't need to speak. We just enjoyed each others company. Uncluttered, harmonious, comfortable silence.

Not two minutes after our plates were empty, he stood up and stretched. He really did have to stop doing that. He was fast becoming irrisitable. My brain registered the coil tightening once again. Please, not now! I had a feeling, that no matter how long he would have me sit for him, this afternoon, it was going to be too long. My once dormant urges were now, thanks to this man, alive, awake and ready to get active again. But first things, first.

He took my empty plate with his and headed for the kitchen. I sat for a moment, taking a few deep breaths and awaited his instructions.

"Are you ready, Bella?" He was standing behind me, trailing his fingers through my hair. My head tingled at the sensation. I nodded.

"Yes. Where do you want me to sit?" He reached for my hand and helped me, to my feet. He then lifted the chair and placed it in the living room, making sure there was plenty of light. I noticed that he had already taken the commissioned painting off of the easel and had replaced it with a slightly smaller, blank one. He grabbed a pale blue sheet from the corner of the room and shook it out, allowing it to billow like a sail. As it descended, it slowy enveloped the chair, covering it completely.

"This colour will compliment your skin tone. Bella, I hope you don't mind me asking but would you be uncomfortable if I asked you to pose nude?" His eyes were sincere. He wasn't joking.

I hesitsated for a moment and processed his request, quickly, as he waited for my answer. I had never been asked such a question. Well, no one had ever painted me before. The idea of sitting naked in front of him, actually didn't bother me at all. We had shared the most intimate of times together. I actually didn't feel the need to cover myself when we relaxed on the bed and chatted, afterwards. Was I beginning to feel comfortable about myself? Beginning to feel comfortable in my own skin? The only answer I could give myself was, yes.

I nodded to him. He smiled. I began to head for the bedroom. He reached out and took my hand, stopping me.

"No, Bella. I want to do this differently." He cupped my face and kissed my mouth, gently at first. I could feel the flush begin to rise in me, from the very pit of my stomach.

The coil began to tighten a little more. I shut my eyes relishing the sensation. He gently began to undress me. I knew we were not going to take this into the bedroom. Somehow, I knew this wasn't about getting me into bed. As I felt the last pieces of clothing being removed, he placed his warm hands on my hips and gently walked me backwards, until I felt the edge of the chair come into contact with the backs of my legs.

He whispered to me. "Sit down, Bella."

As I did, he gently turned my body to face to one side. He then cupped the right side of my face, slowly turning my head towards him, so that I was looking down my left shoulder. He moved my hair about, allowing it to tumble down my exposed shoulders and over my back.

"Perfect." He whispered. He lifted my face just a fraction and pressed his mouth to mine, kissing me, but somehow reining in his desire of me. I shut my eyes, to enjoy the flush that was now in full flow, throughout my body. He moved away from my face, placing my face back, in the desired position. He left me breathing deeply.

"Keep yours eyes closed for me, Bella. Don't open them until ask you too." I heeded his instructions. I simply enjoyed the feeling that was washing over me at that time.

"Bella, would you open your eyes please, but when you do, just look straight at me, nowhere else, just me." No problem. I knew exactly where he was standing. I opened my eyes and there he was. I centered my gaze directly on his face. He seemed to sketch, hurriedly. I held very still, watching his face as it switched from my face to the canvas, back and forth.

A little while later, he stepped back from the canvas. "There!" He said, apparently happy. "You can relax a little now, Bella." And I did. I smiled at him.

"Are you going to let me see it?" I really did hope so. He took a moment to answer, as he stood back again, to assess his work.

"Yes, when I've added, just a little more, Bella." He replied, not taking his eyes away from the canvas. A short while later he took one last look at me and made a final addition to the canvas.

He smiled at me. "You can have a look now." His tone was satisfied. As I stood, I pulled the sheet from the chair and wrapped it around my torso, loosely, and carefully walked over to look at his work. He moved to one side for me and stood behind me, to my left. I could feel his breath fanning over my bare shoulder. That shiver was back again.

I was totally amazed at the drawing in front of me.

"What do you think?" He asked, his tone confident. He had used pastels. The shape and colour of my eyes were there, as was the tone of my flesh. Everything else on the canvas was just a mere outlines.

"How did you do that?" I whispered, unable to raise my voice any higher.

"All I did was capture you, Bella. This is almost like taking a photograph. Well, it's my version of taking a photograph. I wanted to get the skin tone right. The colour of your skin when you're aroused, is perfect. Can you see the expression in your eyes, in relation to the flush?" Yes, I could see it.

"So, what will you do with this now?" If this was his snap shot, then surely it must be the reference point.

"I will use this, to begin the painting. I now have the right colours to work with. I couldn't possibly ask you to pose like _that_ every day." He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, holding me close, to his body. "I doubt if either of us would be able to survive that." He whispered in my ear. "But that doesn't mean that I don't need you to sit for me, anymore. We will start on the real thing tomorrow."

I turned in his arms and faced him. I let go of the sheet and snaked my arms around his neck. My warm body pressed against his.

"So, now that you've got me aroused and you've captured the moment, what happens next?" He shut his dark green eyes for a moment, letting out a ragged breath.

"I certainly can't let that arousal go to waste now, can I? Let's see what we can do with it, shall we?" He led me, by the hand, to his room. I immediately, lay down on the bed. I didn't need to be asked. I knew what I wanted. My earlier internal debate, long forgotten.

With his clothing swiftly discarded, he began to crawl up the bed, his arms either side of my body. He kissed his way up, towards me. I propped myself up on my elbows, to watch his slow progression, of worshipping my body.

"Perfect." He whispered, looking at me from under his lashes. And so was he.

I shut my eyes when he reached the tops of my thighs. My flesh tingled, reacting to his delicate touch. I parted my legs, a little more. I wanted to make sure that he received the invitation, loud and clear.

He nudged my folds, with his nose. "God, you smell wonderful and so wet." At his words, I opened my eyes and gasped as his tongue made contact with my twitching centre. He placed his hands on my hips and held me still. My head tilted back as he entered me, licking, tasting and moaning. He made me feel as though I was his dessert course. I pulsated around his tongue, reaching my first gentle but nonetheless delicious, high. I felt his mouth smile against my sensitive flesh. He could have stopped at that point and I would have been happy, but that was not on his agenda.

In one delicate movement, his tongue reached for the area where all the glorious sensations would radiate from and permiate, every inch of my body. The coil tightened with every upward stroke. I didn't want the feeling of knowing what this would lead to, to end. My breaths shortened and my arms could no longer hold me up. I was panting with the expectation of what was going to happen.

My legs began to shake. His hands moved from my hips, gently holding onto the tops of my thighs now. His hold didn't stop my legs from shaking. They were there to stop my legs from closing. I grasped at the pillow behind my head, hard.

Suddenly the coil could tighten no more. In one amazing moment, it sprung open, allowing all of the pent up sensations to finally be released throughout my body. It was like a massive internal explosion. My hips lifted off the bed and my back arched. I held my breath at the very peak of the high.

I let out a loud groan as my brain registered, that I needed oxygen. I fell back to the bed, panting and writhing beneath his hold, which was now quite firm, as I rode out the orgasm. I wanted to shut my legs, but he would not allow it. He had taken his mouth away from me but he was now blowing cool air on my throbbing centre. It was torture, but it was also exquisite ecstasy.

Only moments passed, before he continued to move up the bed, finally hovering over me.

"Perfect." He whispered as his mouth descended on mine. We kissed hungrily. Our tongues colliding, twisting and tasting. My fingers, twisted into his hair, fisting it.

He entered me, wholly; his invitation had not been revoked.

As he set his pace, thrusting at my very centre, another high, coursed through me. I gripped at his shoulders, unable to hold him close enough, to me.

He slid against my body with ease; the layer of sweat on our bodies, tangible.

Time after time it felt as though he had reached the very centre of my body. I lifted my legs higher; his thrusts deepening.

At exactly the same moment, we tipped over the edge, calling out to each other and gasping for breath. He chanted my name a few more times. It had never sounded so good.

His pace slowed. He moaned with each movement, reluctant to allow the feeling to end.

As he stilled, I held him close, feeling his heart beating hard, against my breast. My fingers gently caressed his tousled hair and the side of his face.

He gently rolled off my body but pulled me close to his chest. Only moments later I drifted off, into a contented sleep.

**End of Chapter**

**Author's note; **Breathe ladies, breathe! So, how much time do you need to recover? A day or two? Let me know, because I will be constructing the next chapter but I don't want to post it too soon. You need to be able to get back to the real world for a time. What's that, you say? No! Okay then, I will update asap. Take care.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's note; **Firstly, many thanks to those of you who reviewed the previous chapter and have added this story to their Favourites/Story Alerts Lists. I am very encouraged by your response. This chapter is filled with tender loving moments. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer; **Sadly, I do not own Twilight but that doesn't mean I can't have fun with Bella and Carlisle in this story.

**Agony and Ecstasy**

Precious Gifts

The next morning, I woke up, in his bed once again. I decided to admit defeat and not get anxious about the situation. Doing that, would just mean that I was making this into something more, than just a holiday hook-up. That's exactly what it was, after all. The whole idea of a holiday is that you relax and unwind. Carlisle was certainly helping with that.

I stretched out in the bed, appreciating the fact that he was already up, I assumed painting, and had left me to sleep. His thoughtfullness was still astounding me.

I grabbed the t-shirt on the chair, slipped it on and made my way to the bathroom.

As I made my way to the kitchen, I sneeked a peek in the living room, to find him totally absorbed in his work. The painting had almost taken on a life of it's own. It looked good. I just hoped that whoever had commissioned it, would appreciate the time and effort that Carlisle was devoting to it and give it the place in their home, that it justly deserved.

I set about making coffee and some toast. Carlisle had probably been up for a while and would need to take a break.

"Good morning, Bella." I turned to see him standing at the kitchen doorway, wiping his hands. He pushed a stray lock of his hair, away from his forehead, with the back of his hand.

"Good morning." I replied, smiling. "I see the picture is coming on really well." He smiled and nodded.

"Yes, it is. I'm actually quite pleased with it. The morning light has been pretty consistent these last few days. It seems that you brought the calm weather with you, Bella." He smiled and walked over to me, planting a kiss on my forehead. I could feel the heat, radiate, from his shirtless torso and filter through the thin t-shirt I was wearing. A sudden impulse, made me snake my arm around his waist and pull him closer to me. I buried my face into his chest and breathed him in. The mixture of his musky showergel and the oils he was using, was almost intoxiacting. It was so Carlisle.

He kissed the top of my head, and whispered. "The toast is ready." I sighed and brought myself back to reality. I understood that he couldn't waste the valuable light, that was now beginning to change. I didn't take his comment as a rebuff, to my show of affection, towards him.

As I buttered the toast, he poured out the coffee. We took up our usual place outside and had breakfast.

"I need to get a few things from the village today." He began. "Is there anything that you need, Bella?" I looked over to him, thoughtfully.

"I'll have to get back to you on that one, Carlisle. Considering how much time I've been spending here, I haven't a clue. When I go over there, I'll have a quick look. How about I go and get the things we need? I'd really like to have a look around the village and take some photos."

He grinned at me and raised an eyebrow. "I take it you drive, Bella?" I nodded as I sipped on my coffee. "The Vdub can be a little temperamental at times. Anyway you've only got one way into the village and one way out, so at least you can't get lost." He chuckled.

"Thanks for that! It's nice to know that you have confidence in my abilities!" I huffed and proceeded to get up. I gathered up my plate and cup and haughtily walked passed him. I doubted very much that I would be able to keep the mock annoyance going for long, with him around. I was already smiling by the time I reached the kitchen. As I rinsed the plates and cups, his arms suddenly appeared out of nowhere, making me jump slightly. They snaked around my waist and he leaned in to kiss my neck.

"You're not really annoyed with me, are you?" I put the final item on the drainer and looked out of the window. I didn't answer.

He kissed my neck once again. I knew he could feel the goosebumps rising on my flesh. It was impossible to hide them. It was an involuntary reaction to his tenderness. It felt heavenly. I lost myself for a moment and leaned back on his chest, closing my eyes. He knew he'd won.

"You know, Bella." He whispered, moving my hair to one side, his breath fanning over my shoulder. "I have every confidence in your abilities. It's exactly those abilities that won't allow me to let you go at night. So, while you go to the village and collect the things we need, I'll get a little more done on the picture before the light changes and make a start on cooking us something to eat." He gave me one more kiss on my temple and moved away. Luckily I was holding on to the edge of the sink, otherwise I think I may have ended up being a quivering wreck on the floor.

I took a deep breath, centering myself once again and made my way to the bedroom, gathered up my things and began my morning ritual.

Once back in my cabin, I busied myself writing out a shopping list while the water got up to temperature. I only needed a few things, but decided to get them, even if I was spending most of my time with Carlisle. If he ran out of anything, all I had to do was fetch it from this cabin. Simple.

I quickly had my shower, dried my hair and set it up in a ponytail for the time being. I dressed, grabbed my purse, shopping list and locked the cabin up.

When I got back to Carlisle's cabin, he was already back at the easel, working. He smiled as I walked into the living room.

"I've written out the list. I hope you can read my writing. I'm afraid it might be a little difficult to read, a lot like doctor's and teacher's writing, from what I've been told. Here." He reached into his back pocket, smudging brown paint on his jeans and handed me the list. I glanced at it quickly. I was able to read it without any problem. I nodded to him.

"At the bottom of the list there's a note about post. I'm expecting a small parcel. The Post Office is just next door to the grocery store." He then reached into his front pocket and pulled out the car key. "Here you go." He said, as he held out the key. "Just remember not to go too fast. Not that you can anyhow. The road is too narrow for that." I gave him an incredulous look, as I took the key from him and he cheekily, winked at me.

"I put a twenty on the table." He added, as I turned to leave. I picked up the money, gave him a small wave and made my way to the car. When I reached the driver's side I looked at it for a moment. I wondered if she was going to behave herself with me behind the wheel. After all, Carlisle knew of all her little foibles and idiosyncrasies. I took a deep breath and settled myself in the driver's seat and brought her to life.

She coughed and spluttered a little at first but then began to sound as if she was ready to go. She responded well and we began to move along the road without any problems. Apart from the fact that I couldn't go fast anyway, I wanted to take in some the lovely scenery of this journey. It was a lovely sunny day. The sun streaming through the trees, caused a dappled effect of sunlight, on the road ahead.

When I finally arrived in the village, I parked the car in the first available parking space. I didn't have a clue as to where the shops were or how far I would have to walk to reach them. I picked up my purse checking that I hadn't somehow lost the lists on the way and locked the car. I headed down to what looked like the main area of the village.

I took a short walk down to where I had first arrived, the previous Friday. I took a few pictures of the houses, including the forest in the background and then moved forward to take a few more pictures of the main road, to my right and to my left. Satisfied with that and the fact that I had now discovered where the grocery store and Post Office were located, I headed for the Post Office first.

I was greeted by an elderly man, busy sorting out post into neat piles.

"How can I help you, miss?" He asked.

"I'm here to collect a parcel for Mr. Cullen." His eyebrows shot up, at my statement.

"Erm, yes. Mr Cullen." He looked under the counter for a moment and then smiled. "Here we are. Mr Cullen." He announced with a flourish and put the parcel on the counter top. "There are also some letters for him, miss." He produced a small pile and set them on top of the parcel.

"Lovely, Thank you." I chimed and smiled, as I picked up the post and turned to leave the building.

I then made my way to the grocery store, next door. As I entered the store, the woman behind the counter looked up and smiled broadly.

"Good morning." She began. "If there's anything you can't find, just ask. I have a lot more stock out the back." She announced. I nodded to her and smiled my thanks.

It was a complete Aladdin's cave of a shop, There was everything there. Food in one area and in another section of the store were household items. I was sure that if you needed anything at all, this shop would have it. I loaded up my basket and double checked that I had everything. The woman behind the counter produced a box for me to pack the items into.

"I take it your having a holiday here?" She asked, as she rang up the items.

"Yes, I arrived Friday." I smiled.

"Are you enjoying it so far?" She asked, studying my face.

"Yes, it's lovely here. It really is very beautiful." I answered, as I packed the box.

"Which cabin are you staying in?" Her eyes narrowed at this point. She was no doubt the village oracle. Seeing all and knowing all, probably making sure that everyone was kept up to speed.

"The Hale's cabin." I answered, politely.

"Oh yes, up on Deer Harbor." She hesitated for a moment. "How is the infamous Mr Cullen then?" I knew exactly who she meant but decided to act dumb.

"Sorry? Mr Cullen?" I replied, internally smirking.

"Yes, the artist who lives in the next cabin. Surely you've met him, by now?" She retorted.

"Oh, you mean Carlisle! Yes, of course, I've met him. He's a very nice man. Very talented." I stated and watched her face as her jaw nearly hit the floor. He really did have a reputation on this island.

Without another word, she rang up the final total and I handed over the money. She gave me a curt smile as she handed me the change. I quickly put the change in my back pocket with the bill, put the parcel and letters on top of the box, picked it all up and manoeuvred my way out of the shop.

A few people stopped in the street and smiled at me as I left the grocery store. I nodded to them and smiled back politely.

By the time I walked back up the road, to the car, quite a few people were standing around talking. I looked up at them and smiled my best smile. They looked at each other as I got into Carlisle's car. I could feel their eyes watching me, the whole time. Well at least they had someone else to gossip about, diverting their attention from some other poor, unsuspecting person.

I brought the car to life. She responded beautifully. She seemed to realise that I wanted to breeze out of there, as smoothly as possible. I could see, via the rearview mirror, that they were all watching the car, as it left the village. Of course they all knew who the car belonged too.

I smiled for the whole journey back, looking forward to having lunch with Carlisle and sharing the gossip, such as it was. We would also be making a start on my portrait today. I could hardly wait.

As I approached Carlisle's cabin, I parked the car carefully, at the side. I pulled out the box and placed all the other items into it, including my purse, locked the car and walked around to the living room.

Carlisle looked over to me from the easel and immediately set his paint brush down, to take the box from me. I followed him into the kitchen and helped with the unpacking.

I looked over to him, as he put a few things in the fridge. "I think I've caused a bit of a stir in the village." He looked over to me and grinned.

"I'm in doubt that you did, are a very beautiful, after all." I reached over and kissed his cheek. He really was very sweet.

"I collected your parcel and you also have some letters." I handed the pile to him. He quickly sifted through the letters, stopping at a crisp white envelope. He held it for a moment. I didn't quite register, what the look on his face meant but I assumed that he knew who the letter was from. He set everything down on the counter top and resumed the task of putting things away. I quickly sorted through my things and put them back in the box.

I fished out the change from my pocket and placed it on the counter top with the bill and the car key.

"I'm going to take my stuff back now. How long will lunch be?" I asked as I left the kitchen, with the box.

"You'll just have time to put that away, Bella. So, see you soon." He called out.

"Okay!" I called back to him, as I reached the French doors and made my way over to my cabin. I quickly unpacked my things and put them away. I looked over to my journal but realised that I wouldn't have enough time to be able to update it, at that moment. So I picked it up and took it with me. I was sure that I would have enough time to do so, during the course of the afternoon.

I quickly picked up Carlisle's t-shirt, that I had borrowed that morning and made my way back to him.

He had already served up the lunch and was in the process of carrying the plates from the kitchen. I quickly fetched some cutlery and two glasses of water.

We settled down to eat. He had made yet another wonderful concoction of salmon and pasta, with some mixed vegetables and a small amount of red chilli. We ate in silence, watching energetic people in kayaks, on the waterway.

"So, Bella. Do you think that the gossip has reached the other islands, yet?" I looked over to him from my plate and grinned.

"Well, by the time I had collected the post, done the shopping and walked back to the car, there were about a dozen people to watch me drive away in _your _car." He chuckled and set his empty plate down on the grass.

"Well, I wouldn't be at all surprised if by this time tomorrow, the news will have reached _all_ of the islands. They haven't been able to talk about me for quite a while apart from speculative gossip. I look forward to going into the village on Friday. I wonder if I'll still be top of the 'gossip monger's list' or if some other victim will have demoted me to second place." He stated, smiling.

"That's one of the good things about living in the city. Very few people know or even care about what I'm doing at work or otherwise. It's so much easier to be one of the crowd and not under scrutiny all the time." He nodded, thoughtfully.

"Yes, I suppose you're right, Bella. There is a lot be said for living in a city, so long as you're not well known." He answered, looking out to the next island.

Naturally, his words and tone were not lost on me. For me it was easy to live in the city. No one knew me apart from my friends and work collegues and my life was of very little consequence to anyone, other than them.

In Carlisle's case, because he was well known, he was bound to attract every kind of speculation and gossip in a city. Having to put up with a few people on the Island, talking about him for a few days, for the first time in years, really didn't compare.

He picked up the plates and cutlery, taking them to the kitchen.

I grabbed my journal and pen, making myself comfortable. I was sure that he wouldn't mind if I had a little time to myself, to begin on today's entry.

_Today I have realised how lucky I am, to be able to go about my life without having it dissected by all and sundry. I can understand now why Carlisle decided to live here on the island for the last fifteen years. Even though, living here, he may be the centre of gossip, every once in a while, it can't be as invasive as the gossip that would surround him, if he lived in one of the major cities on the main land._

_I wonder what will happen when this latest commission is collected by the new owner and displayed on their wall, with pride. As it stands, Carlisle will be talked about for a short time because of the new painting, but that will soon fizzle out. I'm sure it would be an entirely different matter if he did live in a city. I suppose as far as he is concerned, Orcas Island is the lesser of two evils._

_Well, Rose would be proud of me; I managed to break her golden rule yet again. But now I really don't care. It's as though I'm sleeping on my own anyway. By the time I wakeup, he's already up and out of bed and working on the commissioned painting. He places no demands on me and I certainly don't place any upon him. It's very much an equal relationship and I like it. It is exactly what I had always imagined a good relationship between two people, would be; one of mutual respect and support of the things that they do and are interested it. Can such a thing exist away from this island? Is this the only time that I will experience that kind of relationship?_

_At least when I return to Seattle, I'll know what it is, I am ultimately looking for in a relationship. I'm sure that one day, it will happen._

_I can only hope that Carlisle will work out what it is he wants to do with his life. He seems to be at a crossroads but only he knows where the different road signs, point too. _

I shut my journal and realised that Carlisle was sitting back in his chair. He was holding a glass of wine.

"Would you like some, Bella?" He said, raising his glass to me.

"Yes, that would be nice. Just the one glass though. I need to concentrate on sitting still for you." I smiled.

He stood up and moved his chair into the living room, ready for me. I placed my journal and pen on the large desk and draped the blue sheet over the chair. I then began to get myself ready to sit for him, stripping out off my clothes, without any hesitation. I smiled to myself as I realised that the simple act of taking off my clothes, in order to have my portrait painted, would have been unthinkable, by me, less than a week ago.

The picture that he had drawn using pastels yesterday, was standing on a smaller easel on the desk. A new blank canvas was now in position. All that was needed was for me to get into place and for the the artist to begin. I sat on the chair as he returned with a glass of wine for me.

He handed it to me. "I do hope, Bella, that when you go back to Seattle, you won't be taking your clothes off for every artist who asks you too." I shook my head, vigourously.

"Absolutely not! Carlisle Cullen is the only artist I will do that for! I may have gained a certain amount of confidence, thanks to you, but I really have no intention of posing for anyone else, whether I'm dressed or not." I replied, taking a sip of wine and placing the glass on the floor next to my chair. I let my hair loose, from the ponytail and Carlisle quickly adjusted my hair, so that it more or less fell in the same way as before.

He stood at the easel and began to draw. "So, Bella. How long have you been keeping a journal?" He asked, as he looked over to me and then back at the canvas.

"On and off for a few years." I stated.

"And when was the last time that you made an entry, apart from today of course?" I smiled at his curiosity.

"I started writing again the day after I arrived. My last entry before that was about six months ago." I answered.

"Was that when you started going out with your ex?" He asked.

"Yes, that's right." I was surprised that he remembered.

"It's seems a shame that you stopped doing something that you obviously enjoy, because of him." He said looking over to me and turning his attention back to the canvas.

"Yes, it was. He seemed to take up so much of my time. I suppose you could say that he was demanding." I answered, reflectively.

"And now that your not together, you'll be able to find time for yourself again." The thought made me smile.

"I'll probably have too much time, to myself." I pondered. "I want to be able to spend a little more time with Rose and Alice. I feel as though I've neglected them over the last few months. At least I'll be able to give them the attention they deserve, now." I added.

The room fell silent for a time.

"Carlisle?"

"Umm hmm?"

"Tell me about some of the places you've visited. One day, I hope to do some travelling." I waited for an answer.

"I suppose I should start with India. Goa to be precise. I went there before I met Lizzie. It wasn't much of a holiday destination then. There were a lot of hippies from the sixties, still there, supposedly still trying to find enlightenment. It was all very bohemian then." He said reflectively. "The combination of the sunsets at sea and the vibrant colours of the clothing and the markets, was inspiring. I was there for about four months. I came back home with almost a suitcase full of sketches and watercolours that I then used to create canvases."

"Do you still have any?

"Yes, there in a box. The paintings sold, thank goodness, but I kept all the the drawings and watercolours." He seemed to smile at the memory.

"Would you show them to me?" He hesitated for a moment. I thought that he might say no.

"Erm, well, yes. There's no reason why I shouldn't. The last time anyone saw those, I was still living in New York." I felt pleased that he was going to show them to me, as if somehow I would learn and understand a little more about him.

He then told me about Australia and the differences between the Australian dessert and the Arizona dessert. I really don't know how long we talked for, with me asking questions and him happily answering. I was sure, that because he was busy drawing, he didn't mind answering my questions. It was as if he didn't really have to think about his answers. He seemed quite happy to share with me, some of his experiences.

Finally he stood back from the canvas."There, that's all I can do for today, now that the light is fading. I'll start adding colour tomorrow. You'll find that much more interesting." He looked over to me and smiled. For some reason, I couldn't fathom, why his smile made my spine tingle. I shut my eyes for a moment.

I stood up and wrapped the sheet around me again and took a look at the work he had done. It was all there. A detailed sketch of me.

He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and I leaned my head against his chest.

"Carlisle?"

"Ummm?"

"Do you know what I'd like to do now?"

"Well, I could take a guess, but then again I could be wrong. What do you want to do, Bella?" He asked seductively. My internal coil began to twitch. I put what my body was asking for, to one side. Instead, I listened to what my eyes wanted to see.

"I'd like to see the sketches and the watercolours, pretty pleeeeease." I turned in his arms to face him and looked at him from under my lashes. This tact could not possibly fail.

"Bella, Bella." He breathed. "You really are a naughty little minx. You know I can't say no to you. Okay, come on then. They're in a box on top of the wardrobe." He took my hand and lead me to the bedroom. I made myself comfortable on the bed making sure that there was plenty of room for the box to be placed. I watched as he carefully lifted the, large white box, down. He held it in his hands for a moment, almost as if he was going to change his mind.

I tilted my head at him, questioningly. He looked up at me and sighed, defeated, placing the box on the bed. I had won!

He lifted the lid and straight away a watercolour with amazing vibrant colours, greeted me. I smiled at it. It was a picture of a market scene. The colours jumped out from the page; the heat and smells of India almost tangible, from just that one picture.

I lifted it out of the box carefully. Each picture was protected by a sheet of tissue paper. When I came to a batch of sunset scenes, I gasped. The colours were truly staggering.

He smiled at my reaction. "I'm pleased that you like them, Bella."

"What's not to like, Carlisle? Why didn't you sell these?" I asked as I lifted out the next picture.

"They were just my snap shots, Bella. They're not good enough to ask anyone, to pay money for them." He replied, looking slightly annoyed at me.

"I thought you said, the customer was the expert and should decide what was good and what was not. The customer's opinion is the one that counts, remember?" I said, gently.

He looked over to me, a little taken aback by my words and probably my bravery, of speaking out.

He shuffled closer to me on the bed, and reached for my hand, turning it over and kissed my palm, softly.

"You are so right, Bella. Do you forgive me?" He asked, grinning and placing another kiss on my palm.

"Yes, your forgiven as long as..." I paused for a moment, almost back tracking on my words.

"As long as what, Bella?" He frowned.

"Carlisle would you let me buy one of these pictures?" He frowned again, as if mulling something over and then smiled at me.

"No, I won't let you buy one, Bella." He answered. I pouted slightly at his words. "You pick out three that you really like and you can have them, as a gift. Call them a momento, something to remember me by, when you return to your life in Seattle." He added.

I couldn't quite believe what he had said, at first. As his words filtered through my brain I was completely overwhelmed by his generosity. My eyes began to fill with tears.

He noticed of course and lifted his hand to my face, cupping it, brushing his thumb across my cheek as one tear escaped.

"Bella, why are you crying?" He asked softly.

"Do you really think that the only thing I will remember you for, will be your gift of three pictures?" My eyes didn't move from his.

"Bella, believe me." He began, trailing his hand down from my face, along my shoulder and down my arm. "When you return to your day to day life in Seattle, after a short time, this holiday will become a distant memory. A pleasant memory I hope." He added.

"Carlisle, I will never forget you." I whispered, as I moved towards him. "You've awakened feelings in me that I never thought I would experience." I kissed his cheek. "You're an amazing lover and you've been nothing but kind and generous with your time and patience with me." And then his mouth. "I don't regret a single moment I've spent with you. I just wish that there was something that I could give you, Carlisle."

He pulled me closer to him and wrapped his arms around me, with my head, resting on his chest. "You have given me more than you realise, Bella. You're a wonderful young woman and one day I hope that you will meet a man, who really does deserve you."

As I listened to his heartbeat, I inhaled his scent, as he trailed his fingers through my hair. I could feel him kissing the top of my head and eventually pull the comforter over my body to keep me warm. It was not long after that, that I drifted off into a deep sleep.

**End of Chapter**

**Author's note; **I think that Carlisle is absolutely perfect! The next chapter is already forming in my head, so in the meantime I would appreciate your input. Take care, until next time.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's note; **Thank you for the reviews of the previous chapter and to those of you who have added this story to your Favourites/Story Alerts Lists, many thanks. In this chapter we are beginning to find out a little more of Carlisle's life beyond the cabin. Oh, and there's a rather nice lemon, for you to enjoy.

**Disclaimer; **I do not own Twilight. Personally I think Carlisle is amazing in this story!

**Agony and Ecstasy**

Promises, promises

As I began to slowly, surface from my slumber, I heard Carlisle talking. At first I thought he was talking to himself. I sat up in bed for a moment and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and listened more carefully.

"Do I really have to go, Aro? You know how much I hate visiting the city. I'm in the middle of doing a commission and I don't want to lose the momentum." Carlisle was silent for a time. He wasn't talking to himself; he was obviously listenting intently to the person at the other end of the call.

I didn't even realise that Carlisle had a phone.

"Can't you sign the papers on my behalf? You know you have proxy." I heard him let out a large sigh.

"Okay, if it is that important, have someone come over here with the papers. If there's no need for me to actually attend the meeting, then I won't. Just let me know when someone is coming over and I'll meet them. The papers can be signed and back on your desk within hours." There was another pause.

"Okay, Aro. I'm glad you see it my way. I do appreciate it, you know that. Yes, I'll wait for your call. Thank you." His voice became distant at one point and then seemed to get a tad louder. It seemed that he was pacing the room. His tone was a little lighter now.

"Yes, and my best to your family, Aro. Goodbye." Then there was then silence in the living room, once again. I quickly grabbed the t-shirt off the chair and put it on.

I took this as my cue to get up, put the coffee on and quickly go to the bathroom. When I made my way back to the kitchen, Carlisle was already in there, organising the breakfast. He didn't look as though he was in any way tense. I walked up to him and snaked my arms around his waist, from behind. I rested the side of my face on his back. He stopped what he was doing and let out a large sigh.

"I didn't wake you, did I, Bella?" He asked softly.

"Not really. I was beginning to wake up anyway." I answered and planted a kiss just below his shoulder blade. He shuddered slightly and turned in my arms, to face me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders.

"Is everything okay, Carlisle?" I didn't want to outstay my welcome, if he needed time to be on his own.

"Yes, everything is fine. Once in a while, reality comes knocking on my door and this is one of those times. I have some paper work that I need to sign. I've managed to convince them that I'm staying here on the island, so they'll have to send someone over to the get the deed done." As he spoke, his words were heavy and he was obviously not looking forward to the interruption, of having to do this necessary duty.

"I think I understand how you feel. This holiday, so far, feels like a dream. Time just seems to be standing still at the moment, but when my time is up, I'll be thrust back into the real world once again. Right now, I'm not looking forward to it." I hugged him closer to me. I really did mean, what I had said.

"You could always come back for another visit, Bella." I looked up at him to check if his invitation was serious or made in jest. His face was serious.

"That's a very tempting thought. I wonder how often my boss would let me come over here for a holiday. Assuming, of course, that the Hale's cabin would be available for me to use." He looked down at me with raised eyebrows.

"Why on earth would you need to stay in the cabin next door?" He asked, incredulously. "If you came over here again, Bella, it would be to stay with me, here. Nowhere else." He added, leaning down to me, to kiss my lips. As our mouths melted together, I shut my eyes and he pulled me closer, to him.

He trailed one of his hands down my back, causing my spine to tingle. Finally, his hand came to rest on my hip. I could feel him slowly pulling up the fabric of the t-shirt, exposing my body, up to my hip. His fingers gripped my flesh. My stomach began to twitch, in reaction to his touch.

The kiss deepend, neither of us bothered about breakfast, anymore. He pushed himself against me, placing a leg in between mine, grazing it against, my now wet centre.

I moaned into his mouth, reaching my hands up and dragging my nails down his back. I felt him smile, as he ended the kiss.

"This seems like a very nice alternative to food for breakfast, Bella. Shall we have this breakfast in bed?" I looked up at him from under my lashes and brought a hand to the front of his torso. As I dragged my nails gently down is chest to his stomach, I smiled. I wasn't sure what had come over me, as I opened my mouth to speak.

"I've always been told that breakfast should be prepared in the kitchen, Carlisle. We have everything we need right here." I snaked my hand into his hair, fisting it and pulling his face to mine, once again. Our mouths crashed and our tongues collided into each other. He dug his fingers into my flesh, harder. The bulge in his jeans, far more obvious, than moments before. My core was now dripping wet and pulsating. I felt us turning around. I was now standing against the kitchen counter and getting lost in the kiss.

He moaned into my mouth and pulled away for a moment. "What have I been missing out on, these last few mornings? If I'd known you were a morning person, I would have woken you up with a coffee first thing." I smiled and ran my fingers through his hair.

"I never was a morning person, until now." I admitted.

"Ummm, lucky me." He whispered as he assulted my mouth once again.

His left hand held me firmly as his right hand snaked under the half-hitched t-shirt and stroked my stomach. My stomach muscles contracted immediately, pulling everything in that area, together, tightly. Gently his fingers lingered, making a heated trail downwards, until they rested at my folds. He moved his fingers back and forth, as if hesitating.

"My God, Bella. You're so wet. What is going on, in that head of yours?" He mumbled, against my lips.

"Only the fact that you're turning me on." I answered, pulling back to look at his face.

"Well, I think we shouldn't let any of this delicious juice, go to waste, do you?" He brought his wet fingers up to his mouth and licked them, right in front of me. I watched as his tongue trailed up and down each digit, licking them clean.

My heart pounded harder in my chest. My head was screaming for him to take me, no matter how or where, as long as it was, right now.

He slowly dropped down to his knees in front of me, his eyes dilated and his breathing, laboured.

I glanced to my side as I gripped the edge of the counter, either side of me. And then I saw it; an open jar of golden, sticky and very sweet, honey.

I dipped two fingers into the sticky substance and just as he was lifting my right leg, bent at the knee, I put my honey coated fingers to my wet centre and smeared the honey all around.

He gasped at my action and immediately placed my right foot on his left shoulder. I raked my fingers through his hair, grinning at the sight of the sticky, honey residue, acting like gel in his hair; a section of his hair stood up, as if standing to attention.

He plunged his mouth over my centre. I gasped at the sensation of his tongue licking and his mouth sucking, me. I fisted his hair and pulled his head closer; he was not close enough. As his tongue slowly entered me I let out a groan; my walls finally had something to pulsate around.

I closed my eyes to enhance the feelings coursing through me. A tingling sensation rose up into my throat as my head lolled back. Every single, tiny hair on my body stood up on its end.

In and out, in and out. His tongue was relentless.

The mounting pressure and strength, of the forming orgasm, finally broke free and I began to pant. I opened my eyes and looked down to him; the smile on his face, evident, even though he hadn't moved his mouth from my sticky entrance. He looked up at me from under his lashes. His gaze softened and his eyes twinkled. Yes, they twinkled.

As I breathed through the internal sensations, ebbing from the highest point, so far, I felt him grip my hips firmly with both hands. I smiled to myself knowing what was coming next. Me. Again.

"You are so sweet, Bella. Breakfast has never tasted so good." He grinned and moved his mouth forward again. His tongue finally reached, its eagerly awaited destination.

The upward strokes sent shockwaves through my entire body. I gripped harder to the edge of the counter, the muscles in my arms, tensing. I could feel the start of the inevitable shaking, in my legs. Gentle waves at first, raidiating from my twitching stomach.

As his tongue pressed harder into me, intensifying the pleasure, I shuddered. My legs began to shake hard but he kept a firm grip on me and yet not hesitating for a second, during his lavish ministrations. Then all at once the sensations piqued and I held my breath. My whole body seemed to pulsate in time with the orgasm. I finally exhaled with a loud groan.

His hands moved from my hips, as he stood up. He wrapped his arms around my body and held me securely, as I rode the waves of pleasure, out. I could do nothing but breathe heavily. I was unable to move from the spot. He took full advantage and kissed my exposed neck and along my jawline and finally, having regained some composure, his mouth was on mine, again. He tasted so sweet; the concoction of the honey and me, intensly erotic.

"Now I think it's time for _your_ breakfast, don't you?" I opened my eyes, looked into face and nodded, still unable to say a word. He smiled in reply.

In one swift movement, not that I was in any way able to protest, he lifted me up, under my arms and sat me on the counter top, positioning me close to the edge. I wrapped my legs loosely around his waist. He lifted the t-shirt by the hem and pulled it over my head, discarding it to the floor. Instinctively, I reached for his waistband and swiftly undid the button and zip, pushing down his jeans along with his boxers. His extremely hard cock sprang free and tapped against the inside of my thigh. I cupped his face as we looked into each others eyes. He cupped my ass cheeks and pulled us together, closer.

In the time it took for me to take a breath, he entered me, completely. The air wooshed out of my lungs and I buried my face into the crook of his neck. I reached my next high, almost immediately. He held still for a moment, needing to concentrate, in order to make it last. My walls throbbed constantly, bidding him a fond welcome home.

And that is exactly what it felt like. I had finally reached, what felt like my full potential; to be able to accept extreme pleasure from a man and happily, and without hesitation, reciprocate.

We spoke to each other with our gentle moans; understanding one another, completely. We held onto each other so tightly, that there was no space between us. My breasts were pressed flat against his chest and yet I could feel how hard and sensitive my nipples were as they pushed into his flesh. Each tiny sensation added to the whole.

His pace gathered as he grunted into my neck, licking and kissing it, harder with each thrust.

"Oh, Carlisle, please. Harder, harder..." I breathed, knowing that my words would bring him closer to the final thrusts I craved. The moment of ecstasy for both of us.

"Oh, shit, Bella. Why...didn't...I...meet...you...years...ago?" He panted.

I had no answer. I was speechless. The pleasure I felt, rendered me so. I simply held his face in my hands and kissed him, tasting him as we reached our final high together. Perfectly timed, again.

I pulled away from the kiss so that we could gasp for air. We held onto each other for quite a time, still connected, as we both regained our normal breathing pattern and heartbeats.

Feeling a little stronger. I placed my hands back on the counter top, behind me and leaned back slightly. I watched, as our bodies slowly disconnected. I already missed him. He stood for a moment looking into my face and then reverently kissed my chest and my breasts, sucking gently at each, over-sensitive nipple. He was worshipping me in his own gentle way. He finally brought his face up to meet mine and chastely kissed my mouth. I could taste just a hint of honey, now.

He reached down and pulled his clothing up roughly. I placed my hands on his shoulders and he deftly lifted me down, to stand on the floor. I took his hand and led him to the bathroom.

He raised an eyebrow at me, as I turned on the shower taps. "You did say the other day, that the shower was big enough for two." I winked at him and stepped in. After shedding his clothing, he stepped in with me. It was a chance for us to gently wash each other and relax under the hot water, pulsating over our bodies. I felt so content, that this man made no demands on me and no expectations. He simply enjoyed me, as I was.

After the shower, we got dressed. I didn't bother with any underwear, putting on my jeans and another one of his t-shirts, would be enough for the rest of the day. We set about having a late breakfast, eating and drinking outside, in the sunshine.

As I rested in the chair, closing my eyes and letting my hair dry out, Carlisle turned his attention back to his painting for a while. The silence enveloped me. I welcomed it wholeheartedly. It felt good to be able to be in each other's company and not have to talk.

We had a late lunch and then set about getting ready for my next session, to sit for him.

He smiled most of the time that he painted, that afternoon. I was able to move around a little more this time. He still had the pastel picture that he drew, as a reference point.

His consentration was interrupted by his cell phone ringing. He huffed and gave me an apologetic smile. He pulled the phone out of his back pocket and flipped it open, checking the caller ID.

"Yes, Aro. You made the arrangements, I take it?" I was amazed at how his tone was so different, to just a few minutes ago, when he had spoken to me.

"Yes, Friday will be fine. Yes, okay. I'll be there to meet him. And his name?" He frowned for a moment, a puzzled expression on his face.

"Thank you Aro. I appreciate all that you've done. Yes, all the best. Goodbye." He then shut his phone and placed it back into his pocket.

He picked up the brush, he had been using and continued to work at the easel for a little while longer, until the light began to diminish.

Carlisle locked up the cabin and we retired to his room with a bottle of wine.

We sat up in bed chatting and I took the opportunity, to ask him lots of questions, about his travels. He told me about his time spent in the Australian bush and then the African bush. Although he had painted a few scenes that included animals, his favourites were always, sunrise and sunset. Italy was another place that he had spent a reasonable amount of time in, as well as travelling in Spain and France. He had loved Paris, because the people loved and appreciated art, in any form. Monet's home and gardens were, he said, one of the most inspiring places he had ever visited and considered Monet as one of the greatest influences of his artistic career.

He admitted that he had made many friends, during the time that he travelled, and was still in contact with many of them, even if they only wrote to each other once a year.

I took a chance and asked him about his family. He held me close and sipped at his wine, as he talked about his parents.

"They had me quite late in life. They had travelled alot during the time that my father was establishing his business. They lived in various cities around the world and by the time that I was born, had quite a few homes around the world. Most of my childhood was spent abroad. I had a Nanny, who travelled with me and schooled me until it was decided that I should stay at a boarding school." He smiled, reflectively.

"Where was the boarding school?" I asked, snuggling up to his chest.

"England. They would visit me once a month and then in the holidays we would stay at one of the houses, either in Europe, for short holidays or further afield for the longer holidays. I was very fortunate." He answered, kissing the top of my head.

"Weren't you lonely? Didn't you miss your parents, when they were away?" I couldn't imagine not seeing my mom and dad on a regular basis when I was younger.

"It was what I was used to. What you don't know, you don't miss, Bella. Just think, if I hadn't met you, then I would be none the wiser as to how happy I could be." he gave me a gentle squeeze.

His words hit me hard. I didn't answer him. If he was happy now, then what would things be like for him, when my time was up and I went back to Seattle. I couldn't imagine him being lonely and unhappy.

He seemed to sense my internal conversation. "Everything will be fine, Bella, when you go home. I will never forget you. If I never see you again, Bella, I will be content that our paths did cross, when they did. It's because of you, that I have enthusiasm for painting again."

I looked up at him puzzled. "Me?!" I asked, disbelievingly.

He kissed the top of my head, again. "Yes, you. I was beginning to wonder what on earth it was I was doing, living on this island like a hermit. As an artist I need a certain amount of solitude. I think I had taken it one step further and could actually find, no inspiriation in my surroundings at all. I enjoyed my own company too much. But when I met you, I was amazed as to how easy it was to have you around all the time. Only one other woman has ever given me the inner peace that I desired. Lizzie was the last person." He said, quietly.

"That was such along time ago, Carlisle!" I was amazed at his honesty.

"Yes, I know. But I do believe that in life, there are only, one or two people, that we really, truly, connect with. I'm one of the lucky ones and have had two amazing women with whom I have been able to fully connect with. Nothing and nobody can take that away from me." He reached down to the side of the bed and picked up the bottle of wine, to fill our glasses for the last time, that night.

"I suppose then, that I have only really connected, to one person." I said, in hardly a whisper.

"You're still young, Bella. You have so many more people to meet, as yet. You haven't even lived a quarter of your life, so far. I have a feeling that there is a very special person out there for you, Bella. You have plenty of time to still meet him. I just hope and pray, that he is worthy of you." He kissed the top of my head, once again.

I felt a lump in my throat form, listening to his words. He made me feel so special, so unique. I had never felt that, before I met Carlisle. All my other liaisons had been complete failures, compared to my time spent with Carlisle. The amazing time that I had spent with him, could only be down to _his_ experiences and love of life. He had shared that with me and opened my eyes to what could be. I promised myself that from now on, I wouldn't just go out with someone for the sake of it, anymore. If it meant being on my own for a while, then I would be. I had my friends and I had my parents. I needed to value myself more and not go out with the likes of Mike, ever again.

"Carlisle?"

"Umm?"

"Do you ever think that you will find someone, that you would want to spend the rest of your life with?" I asked, sipping at my wine.

"Not unless I get off of this island, Bella. Maybe, one day I might decide that I've had enough of this place. If I do leave this island, would you do me the honour of being my escort, while I re-integrate into society?" He asked with a smile in his tone.

"That would be_ my _honour, Carlisle. I would love to take you around town and be considered a friend of yours." I hugged him and kissed his cheek.

"You will always be more than just a friend, Bella. You will always have a special place in my heart." As if to emphasize his words, he placed his hand over his heart.

I smiled and kissed his chest.

"Good. The deal is made. The day I set foot on the mainland, you will be there to take my hand and guide me through the melee, that is real life." He said with gusto.

"I will need people around me that I can trust. I trust you, Bella and Aro. Other than that, forget it." He added.

"Oh, Carlisle. I'm sure that there are plenty of people out there, who are trustworthy." I could hardly believe what he was saying.

"No, Bella, believe me. I can judge almost immediately, who is trustworthy and who is not. That was one thing that my father taught me, before I ventured out into the big wide, wicked, world. He was a great business man and relied on his judgement of people, within the first few minutes, whether he could trust them or not. His whole business empire was based on his trust of the people he met and allowed into his life." I digested his words for a moment.

"Do you run your father's business now?" My curiosity had piqued.

"No, I have people to do that for me. I just sign papers when I have to. The day to day running is down to men like Aro. He keeps me abreast of things. This latest acquisition has now been finalised and my signature is now required. That is basically my total involvement in the business. Aro worked for my father previously. My father trusted him and he is the one man _I_ can trust, as far as the business is concerned."

"And in the meantime you're able to enjoy painting." I added.

"Yes. That was the luxury of having parents who understood me. I was able to do, what I wanted most, with my life. Unless I choose too, I will never have to attend a board meeting let alone wear a suit. For now, Bella, I choose this life. But now I know, that if I ever change my mind, you will be there." The weight of his words hung over me.

"That feels like a huge responsibility, to me, Carlisle." I looked him, intently.

"Don't worry, Bella. I really can't see myself walking into the offices one day, to actually take charge. My life is just fine as it is." He hugged me close and I relaxed at his words. I felt quite sure that there was nothing that would drag him away from the island after all the years of self imposed seclusion. But even so, I knew, that if he did need me to help him in anyway, I would without any hesitation. I cared about him too much now, not to.

**End of Chapter**

**Author's note; **Well, what do you think is going to happen? I would love to read your ideas. In the meantime I will begin to construct the next chapter. Take care, until next time.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's note; **Many thanks for the reviews of the previous chapter. Thank you also to all of you have recently added this story to your Favourites/Story Alerts lists. You are all very encouraging. We move forward to Friday in this chapter and begin with Bella making another entry in her journal. And then? Oh yes, Jasper makes an appearance. I know that will please the Jasper fans out there. You have been very patient waiting for him. I hope you like it. Oh yes, and there's something of the citrus variety. Buckle up ladies, it may be a bumpy ride. Enjoy.

**Disclaimer; **I do not own Twilight. I just play with the characters.

**Agony and Ecstasy**

From the depths to the pinnacle

_I can hardly believe that the first week of my holiday is now over. The fact that I have spent almost all of it, with a most amazing and inteteresting man, goes without saying. Somehow I'm going to have to cover up the fact that a lot of this holiday will have been spent in a rather undressed state and at other times naked either posing for a portrait or lying on my back with Calisle between my legs. I've never had so much fun! _

_I certainly won't be able to tell Jasper very much about this holiday, that reminds me I really should organise myself and go whale watching. Maybe I could do that over the weekend. _

_Where was I? Oh yes! And I won't be sharing the fact that I've been sleeping with Carlisle, with Rose. It would completely freak her out. I can just imagine the tirade of obsenities that would come from her mouth! She would probably never want to speak to me again. And as for Alice! Well, I'm not sure she could keep it to herself, the fact that I had such a great time would be enough for her to want to shout it from the roof tops!_

_So, dear journal the deatils of this holiday are between you and me._

_Carlisle is expecting a visitor today. I decided to come back over to my cabin first thing this morning. He seemed a little uptight about it all. In a way I can understand. He values his privacy more than anything else._

_I decided not to ask him too many questions about the company that he inherited. It's a completely separate thing from the man I've come to know and even understand a little. When he talked about the business he wasn't as relaxed as when he talked about travelling. So we talked about his travels most of the time. _

_The detail that he gives about each country that he's seen, almost makes me feel like I've been there myself. He had another box of sketches and watercolours tucked away. I convinced him to show me the contents. He did and began to share with me the story behind each picture. I could never tire of his stories. He was very fortunate that his parents saw the potential in him at an early age and let him do what he wanted to with his life. So many parents try and stiffle their kids, especially the wealthy ones because they believe that everything they have created should be passed on to the next generation and that that child should be trained up in order to take on the mantle. Carlisle, although an artist, is from what can tell, also a good business man. He's made sure that he has good people at the top to control things for him but ultimately it is Carlisle's signature that has the final say. If he doesn't sign, then it's not going to happen._

_Today is one of those day's when, as Carlisle said, reality comes knocking at his door._

_Maybe after the visitor is back on the ferryboat Carlisle will feel better. Until then, I'll just stay out of the way._

_So, I'm going to spend some quality time on myself and do some reading and maybe even have a nap. I really don't know if he'll be in the mood to do any painting today. I didn't ask as I left this morning. He seemed too preoccupied and a little annoyed that he couldn't get as much done of the other painting to worry about mine. In fact I think that he could probably finish mine without me even being there!_

_The weather isn't helping this morning. It's a little overcast. Since I arrived it's been wonderful weather and today Carlisle seemed to think that the visitor and the dull morning were somehow linked. I can't imagine how, other than he just doesn't like the idea of being disturbed and is feeling generally put out about it._

_I'll just have to wait and see how the day pans out._

I shut my journal and checked my coffee cup. It was empty. I hauled myself out of the comfy chair I was curled up in and headed for the kitchen. Pouring out another coffee I decided to make a snack. Toasted cheese sounded like a good idea, so I set to work. The smell of the melting cheese made my stomach rumble and it seemed to take longer than usual to cook. Something that my mom said about watching a pot boil came to mind.

Eventually it was ready and I took my plate and already half finished coffee, back to the chair. Even though it wasn't a very sunny day so far, I still had the French doors open to let some air into the cabin. The view in front of me was very different. I could understand Carlisle's frustration at not having the right light today. It wouldn't have been something that I would have thought of previously. But now that he's explianed how he works and how his mood can change so quickly according to the atmosphere around him and the weather, I understood.

I set my empty plate on the small table next to me, finished my coffee and then snuggled down into the chair. I shut my eyes and listened the the seagulls calling to each other as they circled over the waterway.

"Bella!" A familiar voice called out. I opened my eyes, half thinking that I was dreaming. No I was awake. But I could hardly believe my ears.

"Bella, there you are!" His familiar voice sounded excited and relieved, all rolled into one as he rounded the French doors. I sat frozen for a moment. I still couldn't believe my ears or my eyes, for that matter.

"Jasper!" I finally said. But it only came out as something a little more than just above a whisper. I was surprised and somewhat confused. Surely everything back at the office hadn't gone badly wrong that he needed to cut my holiday short and take me back to work! He couldn't possibly do that, could he?!

As he stood in front of me with a huge smile on his face, I pushed myself up from the chair. I think I must have had my mouth open. He began to chuckle. He put his hand up, gesturing for me not to get up.

"Please sit down, Bella! I think I took you by surprise. You look like you've seen a ghost!" He smiled and pulled up the other comfy chair and placed it close to mine.

I sat back down a little ungraciously and watched him as he made himself comfortable.

He was so relaxed and at ease. I was so used to him being in office mode all the time that I forgot he could be like this, away from the office. The only other time I had seen him so cheerful would be when we would have our 'catch up' dinner dates. He was wearing black jeans and a white button down, with the top three buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up. A very unfamiliar sight, as far as I was concerned.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, still in shock. I think I may have even sounded a bit rude. He was the last person I expected to see and he was intruding on my holiday, after all!

"I am sorry, Bella. I just couldn't resist the temptation to see you while I was over here. I'm only here for a short time and then I have to get back to Seattle." He said, his piercing blue eyes, scanning my face. I probably did look a mess this morning, sitting in my sweatpants and one of Carlisle's t-shirts.

"But I don't understand. Why would you come over here?" My mind was completely in flux now.

"I had to bring over some important paper work to be signed." No, I still didn't understand. Maybe the shock of seeing him halfway through my holiday meant that I was actually dreaming. Scratch that; nightmare!

"Paper work." I repeated, as if saying it myself, would make more sense. No. Definitely not. I was completely lost. I narrowed my eyes at him trying to figure out if he was really there or if his presence was just a result of my over-active imagination. I shook my head slightly to help clear it. I didn't even have a hangover to explain this hallucination.

"Yes, paper work. I don't know the details because it's all very hush hush but the CEO asked me, personally, to come over here and give a Mr. Cullen some papers to sign." By this time my brain was working at a hundred miles an hour. Paper work to be signed. Mr Cullen. The CEO. No his name wasn't Aro. I knew that.

"Why you?" I asked. Jasper's face was one of confusion now.

"I was asked because the CEO considered me trustworthy." He hesitated for a moment and then raised an eyebrow at me. "Do you know Mr Cullen then?" I wanted the ground to open up right then and there and swallow me whole.

"Well, yes. I've met him. He _does_ live in the cabin next door." I answered, waving my hand in the general direction of Carlisle's cabin and trying to sound nonchalant at the same time. I wasn't sure if I was succeeding at it.

"Yes, of course you would have met him. You haven't been stuck in this cabin the whole week, have you." He said as a statement rather than a question. Little did he know where I had been spending my whole week, thus far.

I nodded, still trying to keep my composure. There were a million questions going around my head at that moment but none of them could be answered by the man sitting close to me.

I shoved all of those questions to one side and tried to focus on Jasper. My boss.

"How on earth did you know where to find me?" I was feeling slightly panicked. I had to keep my voice under control.

"Oh, Alice rang. She seemed to be more than a little anxious about you being here on your own. I told her that I would be over here today and promised her to look in on you. She told me where you were staying. I hope you don't mind. Alice was rather insistant that I check." God that girl worried more than my own mother. I would have to have a word with her when I got back to Seattle!

I smiled at him nodding. "Yes, of course, Alice. I did tell her not to worry about me. I'm quite capable of looking after myself. I'm sure she thinks that I'm still six and not able to do anything for myself." I said, trying not to sound too upset.

"Don't be annoyed with her. It's actually very nice that you have people who care about your welfare." Yes, of course it was, Jasper. I'll remind you of that the next time you take time off to get away from it all and I turn up!

"So, how are things at the office? Okay I trust?" I looked at him, pointedly, to take this impromptu meeting down a different route.

"Oh don't even think about work, Bella. Mind you, with me turning up like this, I suppose it doesn't help." He said, lightly.

"No it doesn't. At first I thought there was some kind of emergency and you were here to take me back early." I chided him, gently.

"I wouldn't dream of doing that to you, Bella." He chuckled and raked his fingers through his tousled hair. As yet he hadn't taken his eyes off me. I must have had a speck of cheese on my chin or something.

"You look good, Bella. Very relaxed and .... it seems that the break is doing you some good." Okay, so I didn't have anything stuck to my face. "It's really good to see you." Right. Didn't he just say that in a round about way?

"Yes, you were right. It's lovely here. I'm really glad I came." My mind wandered for a second, as I looked out at the view. It seemed that the clouds were not going to shift anytime soon.

"Have you seen the whales yet?" He asked bringing my attention back to the room and to him.

"No, not yet. I thought I might organise something for the weekend. I've just been spending a lot of time reading and well, not doing very much really." I answered. It was getting easier to tell him what I wanted him to hear.

"I really should organise another weekend break for myself. This is the one place that I feel I can unwind and just be myself." He said quietly. He settled back in the chair, clasping his hands together and resting them in his lap. He was obviously not in a hurry to leave.

"I'm sorry, Jasper. I should have asked if you wanted anything. I'm not being a very good hostess am I?" I smiled and stood up. The moment broke him out of his gaze and he refocused back on my face. "What would you like, a coffee or fruit juice?" I turned and made my way to the kitchen. He didn't answer at first.

"A coffee, if that's not too inconvenient for you, Bella." I turned quickly. His voice was closer than I had expected. He had followed me out into the kitchen and was now standing just inside the doorway. He was leaning against the doorframe as if it was the most natural thing in the world, to do.

I wasn't sure what was going on but somehow it felt as though he wasn't the same person. He didn't seem to resemble the Jasper that I thought I knew. Of course he looked the same, well mostly. The biggest difference was his demeanour. He seemed so relaxed and it felt strange to me. Of course he was away from the city and the office and that would account for the change in him, I was sure.

I finished making the coffee. The whole time he stood in the kitchen, he didn't move. He made me feel so self-conscious, I couldn't even turn around and look at him let alone talk to him. What the hell _was_ going on?!

I picked up the two cups and turned, making my way over to where he was still standing. I could sense him watching me the whole time. I blushed slightly as I handed him his cup, recovered quickly and looked him straight in the eyes. I reached the cup towards him. He pushed himself off the wall and took a step forward, to take the cup from my hand.

He hesitated, the cup was perfectly placed between us, his fingers touching mine. Oh. My. God! My fingers tingled as his touched mine. Well, that had never happened before!

He reached up with his free hand and tucked a stray strand of my hair behind my ear. What the....!

I hardly had any time to register what was happening at that moment.

My attention was suddenly caught by Carlisle standing in the doorway, just behind Jasper. He smiled at me until he took another step forward and his eyes noted where Jasper's fingers were now resting. At my cheek. The smile immediately left his face. I had to think fast.

"Mr Cullen!" He registered my use of his official title instantly. Jasper's stance changed suddenly. He re-focused his eyes. His fingers left my cheek immediately and he took the cup from my hand and turned swiftly, without spilling a drop of coffee.

"Mr Cullen." Jasper said, in work mode once again.

"I've signed the papers, Mr Whitlock." Carlisle said pointedly and held out a brown envelope, towards Jasper. Jasper took the envelope from him and tucked it under his arm.

"Would you like a coffee, Mr Cullen? There's enough for another cup." I smiled at him hoping that he would reliase that I really did want him to stay.

He nodded. "Yes, that would be nice." And gave me a polite smile. God, we were good at this!

I turned back to the coffee pot, letting out a more than necessary, long breath.

"So, Mr Whitlock." Carlisle began as they started to walk in the direction of the living room. "What exactly is your position within the company." I was slowly beginning to piece things together.

Carlisle was the owner of the company. The company that Jasper worked for. The company that _I_ worked for. Oh hell! I've been sleeping with my ultimate _boss_!

Having poured out the coffee, I picked up the cup, very aware that my hand was shaking slightly. I took another large breath to steady myself and headed out to where Carlisle and Jasper were sitting, both in business mode.

"And of course, Bella here, is my secretary." Oh shit! Of course, Carlisle didn't know that. In fact, Carlisle didn't know very much about my working life because he didn't actually ask me.

As I walked over to them, Carlisle looked up at me and stood up to take the cup from me. He once again gave me a polite smile and a small nod. But his eyes said something else entirely. They bore a hint of confusion and a touch of anxiety, almost palpable. I gave him a relaxed smile as he took the cup, hoping to convey that I had everything under control. Somehow his eyes acknowledged the fact.

Jasper immediately stood up to allow me to sit back down. Curtesy dictated that he give up his seat for me. Not the boss of all of us!

"Bella has been working for me for three and a half years now, Mr Cullen, since before the company moved to Seattle. I know that I would be lost without her." I blushed at his words and looked down at my coffee cup, nestled in my hands.

"It's good to know that I have loyal and hard working employees." He commented looking at the two of us in turn. "So, Mr Whitlock, I think the next ferryboat leaves in an hour. It might be a good idea that you finish your coffee and say your goodbyes to your secretary. We really should let her continue her holiday." He said, looking at Jasper in a no nonsense way, that matched his tone.

"Yes, yes of course. Mr Cullen." He answered hurriedly, finishing his coffee. He walked towards the kitchen to put the cup in the sink.

I took the opportunity to look over at Carlisle. His face looked sad as he looked into my eyes. All I could do was plead with him with my eyes and I whispered to him 'I didn't know'. He stood up sharply as Jasper walked back into the living room.

"Let's get you to the harbour, shall we?" Carlisle gestured toward the French doors and ultimately the car. He already had the car keys ready in his hand, fiddling with them nervously. It was the only sign that I had to go by that he wasn't happy with whole situation.

Jasper hesitated for a moment as he reached my side. He rested his hand on my arm, gently. "Enjoy the rest of your holiday, Bella. Don't forget to go out for the day and see the whales. See you in just over a week." For one moment I actually thought that he was going to kiss my cheek. He was standing so close and leaned into me. I turned my face away and looked over to Carlisle who was now standing by the French doors. Jasper followed my gaze and thought better of whatever it was he had in mind.

"Thanks for the coffee, Bella. I'll arrange a 'catch up' date for when you return. You can tell me all about your holiday then." He smiled. I gave him a small nod and smiled back at him, speechless. Yes, I'd tell him about the whales!

As the two men walked out, Carlisle following Jasper, all I could do was watch them as they walked towards the VDub. I finally breathed out once they were getting into the car and disappeared to the bedroom.

I threw myself dramatically onto the bed. This was a complete disaster. An 'unmitigated disaster' to end all disasters. I buried my face into the comforter and began to cry. No sob, without hinderence.

Absolutely everything from the moment that Jasper turned up at the French doors to the moment he left re-ran through my mind. What on earth was he thinking? Why did he do it? What the hell was all the looking at me and touching me stuff? Since when did I work for Carlisle? Why, oh why did I not know any of the answers? It was like I was caught up in some weird nightmare. It was total agony and all I wanted to do was wake up and have this whole day pan out in a totally different way.

I could already see my four weeks notice letter waiting on my desk, the minute I got back to Seattle. Dictated by Carlisle and no doubt with a smile on his face. My life was over and I would probably have to move back to Phoenix and start all over again. How could I ever tell my mom about the truth behind the reason that I lost my job? She would probably disown me!

A fresh wave of sobs took over just as I was getting my breath back from the first lot.

Maybe if I had enough money saved I could make good use of all the free time I would have and go on my travels. I could even live and work in another country. Somewhere, where no one would know me and decided that I was too much of a liability. Why did the earth not swallow me whole when I needed it too? How much worse could things get for me?

I curled up on the bed, into the foetal position and cried until I exhausted myself and drifted off to sleep.

My dreams were just as real as the whole mess was. I could feel my body toss and turn as I drifted in and out of sleep.

I didn't know how long I slept for but when I woke up my head was pounding. Phil Collins on the drums, pounding. I lay for a time looking up at the ceiling and trying to gauge what the time was. It was quite dusky outside, when I looked through the bedroom window. It had been overcast all day so that really didn't help with my deciphering skills at that moment in time.

I pushed myself up on the bed and sat for a moment with my head in my hands. Now it wasn't just my head but my eyes that hurt too. They felt hot and swollen from all the crying. My throat was dry and also felt a little swollen and raw. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and placed my feet on the floor.

"How are you feeling, Bella?" I jumped at his words and gasped. My heart thudded nineteen to the dozen. I thought that I was alone. Alone to deal with the mess that was this situation. But I wasn't.

I looked over to where Carlisle's voice came from. He was sitting in the half light of the living room. He had thoughtfully closed the French doors. As I pushed myself to stand, he stood up and walked over to me.

"Are you okay, Bella?" His tone was a little more concerned this time. As yet I hadn't answered him. I really needed a drink of water and without any hesitation made my way over to the kitchen. I opened the fridge door and fished out a bottle of water. Once I opened it I immediately put the bottle to my lips and took a long drink. The cold sensation against my hot throat, made me gasp for breath as I pulled the bottle from my mouth.

I finally turned around. Carlisle was standing at the doorway. My exit of the kitchen barred. He obviously didn't want me to go anywhere. I certainly didn't have the energy to push passed him. I wasn't even sure if I actually wanted to touch him. He leaned against the door frame, cool and confident, about what I wasn't sure. I certainly didn't feel remotely cool and confident. It was as if he was mocking me. I was a wreck and I was sure that even in the failing light, he could see how bad I looked.

"I didn't know that he was going to pay me a visit." I croaked, nervously. I had to say something. That was the best I could do for now.

"I know. I asked him. He explained everything. I'm sorry I acted like a complete idiot." I looked at him with wide eyes.

"No I'm the idiot. I should never have come here in the first place. None of this would have happened and I would still happily be going to work." I really had got it into my head that I was going to lose my job.

"You sound like you haven't got a job to go back too. Did Jasper fire you? Was that why he came over here to see you?" His questions didn't make any sense. I shook my head partly to answer his questions and partly to help clear my head.

"No he didn't fire me. He said that I was a good secretary, didn't he?" None of this was making any sense. "It's you! You're the one who's going to fire me. I've broken the golden rule of office law. You don't sleep with the boss let alone the boss of the entire company!" I was almost losing control of everything at that moment. Although it seemed that I had very little control over what was going on in the first place.

He walked forward to me I thought I could see a small smile playing on his lips.

"Bella, why on earth would I get rid of someone who works as hard as you do? I'd be a fool to do so." What was he talking about now?

"You have no idea about how hard I work. You only found out a few hours ago that I actually _do_ work for you." I said rather angrily. My resolve was beginning to resurface. I just wanted him to go away but he kept walking towards me. I couldn't see properly as to what his expression was. It was getting too difficult to tell in the ever fading light.

"It seems that we found out at the same time, Bella, that I'm the boss and your one of my employees. I lay no blame at either door. Jasper explained everthing including the reason why he wanted to see you." He said, gently.

"Yes, I know." He was close enough now that I could make out the look of surprise on his face.

"You don't seem very happy." He said gently, only standing some two feet away from me.

"Well of course I'm not happy! Alice worries too much. She treats me like I'm a six year old. I can fend for myself perfectly. Telling him where I was staying and asking him to check up on me. It's rediculous!" I looked at him and he chuckled. He fucking chuckled!

"You look amazing when you're angry." He whispered, standing only inches from me. I balled my hands into fists and banged them on his chest. Oh yes! I was so going to get fired. What was the point in worrying about it now? I was fired anyhow!

I then stopped just before I was going to try and push him away. What did he just say?

"What are you talking about? Why is it men can't just say what they're thinking? Why do you all have to be so fucking cryptic?!" Suddenly his mouth was on mine. He literally took my breath away. I pushed at his chest again but without as much force as before. He arms were around me pulling me close.

My resolve broke. I melted in his arms. He just knew I would.

We kissed for goodness knows how long. My hands that were once fists, were now grabbing at the collar of his button down. He smelt so good. So damn good!

I couldn't get close enough to him. The argument, if that was what it was, now long forgotten. He turned us around and somehow I was shuffling backwards. I really wasn't aware of what was going on apart from the fact that we were moving and we were kissing, passionately. My hands found their way to his head and my fingers automatically entwined into his hair, fisting it. Pulling his face closer to me, if that was at all possible.

His hands made a heated trail down my back to the hem of his t-shirt, lifting it to allow his hands to travel up my back, grazing the sides of my breasts. I pressed into him harder, as we were still moving through the cabin.

Then I knew where we had been heading for. The backs of my legs came into contact with the edge of the bed. He slowly lowered me onto the bed. His hands finally lifted his t-shirt all the way up and over my head. He hovered over me kissing and licking my breasts. Nipping and sucking at my hardened nipples. I wriggled beneath him and arched my back as he lavished attention on me.

"Bella, I want you ." He whispered against my flesh. He began to kiss his way down to my stomach where he gripped the top of my sweatpants and began to pull them down my legs. With those dispensed with, the panties were next.

The whole time he kissed and licked me on all the parts of me that he could reach. I couldn't feel where his tongue began and the sensations coursing through me ended. I felt as though I was on fire. I began to have trouble breathing. I was panting by the time his fingers entered my throbbing core.

One orgasmic wave after another enveloped me. I fisted the comforter either side of me. I needed to grab _him_ but he was too far away. My brain wasn't even able to figure out, as to why I couldn't touch him. His fingers seemed to have complete control over me.

In and out, in and out.

Then, there he was. Hovering over me again. I reached up to him and realised that he was now naked.

"Please, Carlisle. Please." I pleaded. He knew what I meant but yet he asked.

"What, Bella? Tell me what it is you want." My patience was wearing thin. I almost shouted at him.

"You. I want you Carlisle. Please." I pushed out my last plea with a final gust of air as another high hit me.

Without another word his fingers were gone and he entered me in one delicious thrust. He held still for a moment as I took in a breath of air and then he set his pace.

I grabbed at his shoulders, holding on for what felt like, dear life. There was an urgency in him. A primal need. His mouth was on mine again, his tongue moving around mine matched the pace of his thrusts. I could sense that this was not going to last very long, he was already reaching the point of no return, fast. The volume of his groans increased as did my moans in reply.

My whole body tingled. My stomach muscles contracting with my throbbing core, pulling him further into me. I felt sure that I might combust, internally.

And then, as if our bodies knew that we had reached that glorious precipice together, we both fell over the edge, clinging to each other as we tumbled into the abyss of euphoria.

We lay there holding on to each other, panting and kissing. Our senses slowly coming back to the surface.

I pulled the comforter around our bodies as we gently disconnected and I lay in his arms.

From the very depths to the very pinnacle of my emotions, somehow today I had felt it all.

I suspected that Carlisle was not the only man who had touched me today. But at that moment my mind was not able to process everything that had happened.

**End of Chapter**

**Author's note; **Oh my, oh my! What a whirlwind of emotions. Poor Bella. She may well need a holiday after this holiday. So, with the next chapter already forming, with a lot of questions needing answers, I shall go away and begin. In the meantime, you know what to do to put a smile on my face. Take care.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's note; **Many, many thanks for your amazing reviews. You are all wonderful. Thank you also to those of you who have recently put this story on your Favourites/Story Alerts lists. So I felt it was time for another POV. It's Carlisle again. What is he up to? Lets find out the inner workings of his mind again. It's the morning after the night before. The night he was driven to claim her. Enjoy.

**Disclaimer; **I do not own Twilight. It's simple; Carlisle owns me.

**Agony and Ecstasy**

Rightly or wrongly

**Carlisle POV**

When I woke up I found Bella still cradled in my arms. I have never seen anything so beautiful. No sunrise or sunset can compare with her. The happiness that she has brought into my life is beyond explanation. It would probably take the rest of my life to even attempt to express it on canvas.

What the hell have I done? I think that's exactly where I am headed for. Hell.

Just one week. That's all it took for me to fall in love with Bella. There's no other excuse for the way that I behaved last night. I have fallen completely and utterly in love with her and I don't know what I'm going to do.

The only other woman who has affected me like this, in my entire life, was Lizzie.

We met when I was travelling. When I was at my most creative. I wasn't looking for any kind of distraction or amusement. I was making a name for myself and had just had my first exhibition of the Goa pictures. I was quite shocked at the response if the truth be known. I wanted to do it on my own terms by not using the Cullen name. So I decided to use my mother's maiden name and I succeeded. My ability was what people saw. Not the Cullen name.

Of course a few years later, once I was fully established there seemed little point in hiding who I was. By that time I was happy to sign my paintings as . My parents never did question the decisions I made in order to achieve what I wanted. I was determined and driven, just like my father. He never let a bad comment or negative attitude toward him, deter him. He built a small empire through sheer determination and wanting the best for his family.

He cared about his employees too. He provided the best of everything for them. He always treated them fairly and rewarded those who were loyal and gave long service. He valued experience over a good looking guy or a pretty face. It was always what was inside the person that counted for him.

Everything I know about the business is down to him. I was only too happy to take on the role that he had created but he knew that I needed to be my own person in order to be happy with my life. If I didn't have the luxury of being able to paint then I think I would have sold the company off bit by bit. It would have been a millstone around my neck and too much to take on.

Aro and his brothers have been the real brains behind the company since dad died. They were the most loyal of his employees and knew exactly where dad wanted to take the business in the future. It's true that I don't have any day to day involvement with things in Seattle but I'm always kept up to date with everything that is going on. Nothing happens without my say so, my signature or the nod of my head.

But of course, who do I pass all of this on to?

I firmly believe in the saying that money can't buy you happiness.

Lizzie and I had everything. We wanted for nothing. We had an amazing social life. Homes abroad that we could use at any time. Loyal staff in the house in New York, who would travel to our other homes with us, where ever we decided to stay. As my wife she had everything. Clothes, jewelry, position in society, good friends and most of all a loyal husband. I never once strayed even though, quite often women would literally offer themselves to me.

When the doctors gave me the news that I couldn't have children, that was the day that something in Lizzie died. I would have happily adopted. But no, Lizzie refused to go along with the idea of bringing up another person's child. I did sort of understand at the time. She wanted to experience the whole package of getting pregnant, feeling the child develop and grow inside her and then to give birth to our very own creation. She wanted it all but I couldn't give that to her.

For Lizzie the novelty of our lifestyle wore off. The parties and the lifestyle just didn't fulfill what Lizzie wanted. For a time I pretended not to know what she was doing behind my back. I thought it might just be a phase that she was going through and that once she got it out of her system, she would want me again. And we could carry on as if nothing had happened. But she didn't. Then she started seeing Tom, after meeting him at a charity function in New York.

In hindsight I was an idiot. I should have bought him off. Sent him packing, as far away as possible. But I didn't. My mother said that I indulged her. Maybe I did but I loved her. I didn't want to be without her. She was my everything.

The affair didn't stop.

The end of our marriage came when she confessed that she was pregnant by him. In some twisted way I came up with the idea that she should stay with me and that we would bring the child up as our own. She took two weeks, two agonising weeks to make a decision. And then she packed her bags and left me.

So, no. Money can't buy you happiness.

But it can buy you a whole heap of power.

With all of the media circus interest in our break up, I decided to live in Phoenix for a while. Those were some of the best months of my life. I craved the sunsets there and painting took over my life once again. That's when I travelled to Australia and Africa and many other places. I had no one to worry about. No one to hurry home for. I was my own person and took as much time as I needed to be myself again.

I understood completely the need in Bella to be who she wanted to be. She was so much like me as I was, until recently. Exsisting from one day to the next but never really experiencing anything.

She has come into my life and nothing has been the same since. One week. That's all it took.

I'm finally able to continue with the commissioned painting and finish it on time. All because of Bella.

She has re-ignited my passion for painting again. My passion for life.

And then I got the phone call from Aro. Papers needed to be signed. They were very important. Our latest acquisition. He would not bother me with business calls unless it was absolutely necessary. I always had the final say.

If someone had to visit me on the island I would insist on someone trustworthy. I really didn't need employees talking about me and spreading rumors.

So Aro asked his brother, Marcus and he came up with Jasper Whitlock.

Of course he would.

Aro assured me of Jasper's dedication to the company, since we headhunted him from Mexico, installed him in the Phoenix office and then ulitmately moved everything up to Seattle, three years ago. At one point it was thought that his then girlfriend, might interfere in his decision. But of course money talks. And I got what I wanted.

The decision to move the Phoenix acquisition was a tough one but ultimately it had to be done. Drawing up the moving package was the best idea that Aro could have come up with at the time. I was only too happy to agree to that if it meant that all of the businesses were then under one roof so to speak. At least in one city. I needed to have everything close by after I moved to the island. I was far enough away so that I could continue with my art but not too far that I couldn't visit the office once in a while when absolutely necessary. Thankfully those times were far and few between.

When I collected Jasper up from the ferry he was exactly what I expected. Aro had been correct in what he had said about him. He was very company focused. An employee to be proud of.

He seemed somewhat distracted when we got to the cabin. He thoughtfully suggested that he leave me to go over the paper work without him hovering over me. I appreciated that. There were quite a lot of pages to get through before I could make a decision to sign on the dotted line. I asked him where he was going to go for the duration, knowing that the papers needed to be back in the city before the end of the day. And then he said the oddest thing. He said that he knew the person staying in the cabin next to mine.

How the hell did he know Bella?

Of course I just nodded and said that I would look for him once I had signed the papers.

The whole time I was reading through the document I was distracted. The thought of him knowing Bella was messing with my mind. Every time I had to re-read a paragraph, I could have kicked myself. It meant that he would spend more time with her the longer it took me to get the document signed. I realised then that the feelings I had for Bella were more than just a two week distraction. I knew that I really could spend all of my time with her. As much as I loved the solitude I was prepared to forgo that in order to have Bella with me all the time.

How did he know her? She hadn't mentioned another man. As far as she had said, she was now single. She had ditched the _idiot_ and wasn't seeing anyone. Except me. For now. I could feel the possessive side of me rising up. This was no longer just a holiday liaison, for me. The holiday liaison feeling only lasted the first day.

Now I wanted her so badly. The few hours that I spend painting in the morning while she slept in my bed, have been the most productive purely because she was there and I knew that when she woke up, she would be the first person I see that day. I was already dreading the fact that in less than seven days she would be travelling back to Seattle.

All I could do was offer her an open invitation that anytime she wanted to visit, she was welcome to stay with me. I thought it was the best way to hopefully gauge as to how much she did think of me.

And then there was Jasper with that smile on his face, all eager and itching to go and see her.

I eventually got through the document. I took about forty-five minutes. How much damage could be done in forty-five minutes? I made my way over there as soon as I re-sealed the envelope.

When I looked in the living room there was no one there. I was so caught up in the idea of him spending time with her that I stupidly glanced toward the bedroom first, fearing the worst. How could I even think of Bella doing that?

Thank God that the bed was empty. I really knew, deep down, that it would be.

As I rounded the corner to the kitchen there he was, standing with his back to me. Just one step forward was all it took to see that he was touching her. His hand was on her cheek. He was touching Bella! My stomach knotted up. Her reaction was one of relief when she saw me. I was sure that I saw that in her eyes. She stopped him dead, by announcing my arrival, the way she did. They obviously knew each other quite well. I doubted very much that Bella would let a total stranger touch her that way. But then again I was a total stranger to her just a week ago. But I was sure that she wasn't like that. I was sure, just by the look she gave me in that moment, there was something between us.

I was relieved that he moved away from her and then had a reason to ask a few questions to discover how he knew Bella. I didn't even need to ask the questions. He offered the information freely.

Bella was his secretary.

_She_ was an employee of _mine_. I had trouble digesting all the information in those few short seconds. I think Bella had just as much trouble.

One of the thoughts that went through my muddled mind was that she knew who I was when she came over to the island. She knew all along and the whole holiday was a ruse.

But the look on her face told me that she was in just as much shock as I was. She just handled it better than I did. But I played along. Apparently well enough.

Jasper didn't suspect a thing. I wanted him off the island for two reasons now. To get the important paper work back to Aro and to get him away from Bella.

God, he even tried to kiss her goodbye! I could see it in his eyes as he leaned forward, holding her arm the way he did. I shut my eyes for a second fearing the worst. I didn't want to see it happen. And I didn't have to. Bella moved her face out of his way and looked over to me. My cue to help her out. Yes, he had to go.

As I drove him back to the ferry, he gushed about her. How he had thought about dating her when she first became his secretary. How he thought better of it because he didn't like to complicate work and pleasure. Very noble of him, I'm sure. But he said that he was going to ask her when they had their next 'catch up' dinner date. He admitted that his policy was not to date people from the office.

It had been mine too, until I met Bella. I didn't know that she was in my employ. And she had also, only just found out who I was.

He on the other hand was planning on asking her out. The no dating co-workers policy wasn't a hard and fast rule in my company but for Bella's sake, I might just enforce it.

With Jasper safely on the ferry I was once again able to turn my attention back to my heart's desire. Bella.

By the time I got back to the cabin, her's was in total darkness.

I doubted somehow that she would have gone for a walk. Not in the dark, especially in unfamiliar surroundings. As I approached her cabin I noticed that the French doors were still open. I peeked into the bedroom and there in the half light, she was sleeping. I secured the French doors and sat to think everything through. To somehow make a decision as to how I was going to do deal with this mess. I watched her as she tossed and turned on the bed. She wasn't sleeping very well. She moaned a couple of times. The sweet noise she made reminded me instantly of our love making. Moments when she moaned into my ear, clinging to me as I thrust into her. I was completely lost. I wanted to go to her, cuddle her. Hold her in my arms and soothe away her troubling dreams. I wanted to make her feel better the way that she had made me feel better. I knew that I could do that. But I held back. If it took all night to wait for her to wake up, I would. I needed to speak to her. To find out if Jasper had declared his feelings for her. I needed to know where I stood in all of this. To know if anything that we had could be salvaged.

When she woke up I watched her quietly like some kind of stalker. I didn't have any right to be there watching her but I couldn't help myself. She seemed so disorientated when she woke up. Even when she knew I was there she didn't answer immediately.

She made her way to the kitchen. So I followed. I needed to make sure she was okay. She must have been crying. Her face was a little swollen from what I could see and she drank from the bottle like there was no tomorrow.

And then she spoke. I needed to find out how much Jasper had told her. I needed to hear her answer.

The fact that he had gone to the island not just to make a delivery but also to see Bella had obviously not been a topic of their conversation. As far as she was concerned the reason he was there checking up on her, was because of her friend Alice.

She was annoyed about it. And I was relieved that that was what she considered to be his reason for being there. He hadn't said anything.

Rightly or wrongly I couldn't do it either. He would have to impress her all by himself. He would have to fight for her and he would be up against me. Even though he didn't know it yet. Was that in the least bit unfair? Not from where I was standing.

I seized the opportunity to touch her and hold her in the way that I knew she loved. She tried to fight me and push me away, ranting about losing her job and sleeping with me. But I wasn't going to have any of it. I didn't care anymore. I had to have her. So I kissed her. She had to know how much she meant to me. I had to at least try and make her mine. Everything in my world sifted once again. A permanent shift this time. One that could not be re-aligned.

She melted in my arms. One moment she was trying to push me away and then she was pulling me closer to her. She felt amazing. All of her anger and frustrations of what had happened during the day was suddenly released into that kiss. I had never felt so much passion before. Even when I was with Lizzie, I never felt anything like that.

When I asked her what she wanted, she almost shouted at me. I needed to hear her say it. To hear that she wanted me. To know that Jasper Whitlock was not even in her thoughts. I gave her everything I had last night and I selfishly took all that she gave me. I had never felt anything like it in my life and I was sure that neither had Bella.

I hoped that somehow I would win. That she would go back to Seattle and want nothing to do with Jasper and his declaration. I was in no doubt that I should regard him as my possible rival. He had youth and good looks on his side and plenty of charisma. But as far as I knew he hadn't even kissed Bella yet. He was my potential competitor but I had the upper hand.

Maybe I could orgsanise with Aro that he could be offered promotion or a new position in one of the other satellite companies, in another building with a _new_ secretary.

I was not prepared to lose him after all it took to find him and employ him.

But I was equally not prepared to give Bella up without a fight.

Why did it have to be him?

**End of Chapter**

**Author's note;** Well, what has Carlisle done and what is he going to do? It seems that he is driven just like his father, to have the things he wants. And he has the power to do so. I look forward to reading your thoughts on this chapter while I have a little rest and work on a chapter for my other story. Take care, until next time.


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's note; **Many thanks to all of you who reviewed the previous chapter. I hope I have replied to all of you. Many thanks also to those of you who have put this story on your Favourites/Story Alerts lists and to some of you who have kindly added me to your Favourite Author lists. You are all very encouraging. We begin this chapter with another entry into Bella's journal.

**Disclaimer; **I do not own Twilight. I just love to play with the characters.

**Agony and Ecstasy**

A Perfect Day

_I woke up in Carlisle's arms, this morning. It felt so right. And I didn't regret the intensity that we had shared, the night before. My new mantra; No regrets._

_He promised to take me to see the whales today. After he made breakfast and sweetly fussed over me, he rang and made the arrangments. He hired a whole boat just for us. He said he didn't want to go out to sea with anyone else except me. He even organised a picnic to take with us. I groaned to myself at the thought of the expense of it all but now that I knew exactly who he was, who was I to put a dampener on Carlisle's excitement. It meant that he was going to actually get away from his cabin and take some time out from painting. He assured me that he was ahead of schedule to get the painting done on time and that we still had a lot of afternoons left, to work on my portrait._

_As far as the events of Friday were concerned, I could tell that we were not going to dicuss it. We both knew everything there was to know and as far as he was concerned it made no difference to him. He wanted my company and I could not imagine spending even a small proportion of the weekend without seeing him. I had decided to make the most of our time together. I would be returning to Seattle soon and he would be staying on the island. I would make a point of not visiting again. That would the right decision. The sensible decision. The only way forward._

_The weather was once again fine. The difference was astounding compared to the day before. Carlisle's mood had done a complete three sixty. He was bouyant and almost carefree._

_We set out for the day not long after he made the arrangements. We drove down to Orcas Village, much to the fascination of the locals (they stood with opened mouths, headed by the grocery store lady) and were then collected by private boat to be taken over to Friday Harbour to begin our whale watching tour. It was the first time that I was faced with the realisation as to how much sway his money and name for that matter, had over people. He didn't think twice about how much the whole day would cost him. It felt so alien to me. _

_I was used to the Carlisle who kept left overs in order to have a meal the next day and walked around all day barefoot, in paint splashed jeans and no shirt. But now I knew there were two sides to Carlisle. There was the simple artistic side to him and then there was, apparently so close to the surface, another Carlisle. The Carlisle who signed important documents, capable of making hard and fast decisions that no one would argue against and who owned the company that _I _worked for._

_Once we were on the boat, I relaxed. The owner of the boat took us out to Haro Straight, both the feeding and play ground of the orcas. I lost count as to how many pictures I took while we were out on the water. There were three orcas that gave us an amazing ringside show and many others that seemed to be unsure as to whether or not they would join in. Eventually they did. Carlisle kept his eye on the water, so that I wouldn't miss the opportunity of catching a good shot._

_The whale watching was everything that Jasper had said it would be. Carlisle was in as much awe of the amazing creatures as I was. _

_The picnic was delicious, apparently put together by one of the chefs from the Downriggers Restaurant. I enjoyed every single dish that had been expertly put together and beautifully presented in a wicker basket. No detail was overlooked. We drank water with the meal. Carlisle assured me that we would share a bottle of wine when we got back to his cabin. I understood then that our time together would not be over once we landed back at Orcas Village._

_I wanted to ask so many questions but didn't want to ruin the wonderful mood that he was in. It just didn't seem worth taking the risk of spoiling what was, after all, a great day together._

_We spent a total of five hours on the water. Five hours of uninterrupted time together; Carlisle at his most attentive and charming. I was suspicious as to what I had done to deserve it all but chided myself that this was not unusual behaviour as far as Carlisle was concerned. Every day he was attentive and charming. Everyday he made me feel special, wanted and beautiful and every day that went by was a day closer to me leaving the island. The thought made me feel rather sad. But I didn't want that to be evident._

_Arriving back at his cabin he opened the car door for me, took my hand and led me into his cabin. He set the two comfy chairs out on the grass, took my hand and seated me on one of the chairs while he went to get the promised bottle of wine and two glasses._

_We enjoyed watching the evening draw in._

_We made plans to spend most of Sunday together. He said he would spend the morning on the commissioned painting as it looked as though the weather had now taken a turn for the better and work on my portrait in the afternoon. For all intents and purposes it was as if Friday had never happened._

"So, Bella. I'm curious. What is Jasper Whitlock like, to work for?" Oh my God! Why did he need to do this now?

I shut my journal gently, resisting the temptation to snap it shut and placed it on the ground along with my pen.

I sat for a moment and took a sip of my wine to eke out as much thinking time for myself, as possible. I wondered where on earth I should start. The beginning would be the best place, of course.

"He became my boss six months before the company moved to Seattle." I began. "Mr Thompson retired through ill health." The whole time I spoke I could see Carlisle looking out at the view ahead. I knew he was listening and listening intently. His disinterested look did not wash with me. He was quite able to look out into the distance and yet concentrate on everything that was going on around him.

"He had been headhunted from Mexico, I'm assuming under your orders." I looked at him pointedly. All he did was smile as he continued to look ahead.

"You chose well. He is a very dedicated department head." I added.

"How does he treat the people in that department?" He shifted slightly in his chair, taking a mouthful of wine. I wondered for a moment as to why he wanted _my_ opinion. Surely it would have been just as easy to ask Marcus, one of the CEO's? But he had asked me and I needed to be honest.

"Very well. He's very fair. Take me for example. I hardly gave him any notice to take my holiday. I did half expect him to say no." I turned towards him to gauge his reaction.

"I doubt if he could say no to you, about anything, Bella." He said quietly. I huffed at him.

"I wouldn't be so sure, Carlisle. Luckily for me, we weren't too busy and he arranged for any important work that needed to be done during my absence, to be passed to one of the other secretaries. He was hesitant at first but I stood my ground. I don't usually ask anything of him." I stated.

"Another boss might not have been so accommodating. You were very brave to stand your ground." He looked over to me and smiled.

"I suppose not." I replied, realising that Jasper didn't _have_ to let me go. But he did. "As for being brave, I'd just broken up with Mike so I was feeling brave and rather defiant. I think if he'd said that I couldn't have this holiday then I may have given him my notice." I added. He looked slightly surprised.

"You would have handed in your notice, if he had said no? That would have been a little rash, don't you think?" He seemed to smirk at me, disbelievingly.

"Believe me, Carlisle. I was in no mood that day to be refused. I would have given in my notice without a shadow of a doubt. I had finally ditched Mike and not caved when he pleaded with me to go back to him. I was finally standing up for myself and what I wanted. I was for once being selfish." I smiled, remembering the good feeling I had about myself, that day. The sense of achieving something for myself was exhilarating.

"There's nothing wrong with being selfish, Bella." He said looking out into the distance once again. "As long as the person or people you care about are not hurt in the process." My stomach knotted at his words. Would leaving him in less that a week's time, hurt him? But then again holiday liaisons were something that he was quite used to. And now that I knew exactly who he was, our liaison would have to finish by the end of the week. Maybe I was being selfish at not ending it now. I was not a naturally selfish person and the more I thought about it the worse it made me feel. As much as I wanted to, I didn't think that I could stay the night with him.

We were silent for a time, finishing the wine between us.

"It really did take me by surprise that _he_ turned up." I said quietly. I wasn't sure why but I felt the need to clarify my own surprise at Jasper's appearance the day before.

"I know, Bella. I could see it on your face. I'm not upset with you, you know? I hadn't asked you about your work and until yesterday you were unaware of who I was. Don't worry. Jasper didn't suspect a thing. You'll go back to work and no one will be the wiser. Only we will know what happened during your time on this island." He looked over to me and gave me a small smile.

I simply nodded to him.

"Thank you for today." I finally said, as upbeat as possible.

"I can feel a but coming on, Bella." He said gently, picking up the empty bottle and glasses. He sat for a moment, as if caught between the decision to stay seated or to stand.

"I know you said that it didn't matter about us being together but now I know who you are, I'm finding it really hard to process." I finally blurted out.

"What's to process, Bella. We met. We're attracted to each other. Your holiday finishes on Friday. Can't we just enjoy each other's company for the rest of the week?" He sounded so nonchalant. Was it that easy for him?

"I would be lying if I didn't agree with you and I'll be honest, I do enjoy your company." I paused for a moment.

"So?" He asked gently.

"So," I repeated, taking a deep breath and then exhaled. "Yes, I do want to be in your company for the rest of the week." I answered, smiling.

He smiled back at me in his easy going manner, that I had become so used to.

If he could be relaxed about our situation, then so could I. This would be something new for me to learn. Not to take everything so seriously. Be a little more carefree as he was.

He finally stood up and turned to me. "So, would you like to share another bottle with me?" I nodded and he immediately made his way to the kitchen, returning moments later with another bottle and fresh glasses.

He handed a glass to me and filled it. He then sat down and filled his own. We were silent for a time, both of us looking out onto the waterway.

"Carlisle, I know that it's been many years, but can you ever see yourself putting together enough paintings for another exhibition?" It seemed a logical question to ask now that he seemed to enjoy painting again.

I looked over to him, waiting for an answer. He shut his eyes for a moment and then looked over to me.

"Maybe, Bella. It has been a while. It would take a few months in order to get a collection of work together, to warrant an exhibition." He finally answered.

"I think if all you had were three pictures to show, people would flock to see them." I said smiling.

"You have so much faith in my work, Bella. I'm flattered." He said, raising his glass to me.

"As you've already said, I'm an expert. I think you should do it. Don't lose the momentum." I nodded to him and raised my glass to him.

He smiled at me. "I'll think about it, Bella. If I do decide to go ahead, you will be the first to know. Would that be okay?" He asked, taking another mouthful of his wine.

"Absolutely, Carlisle. But knowing how reluctant you are about the idea of it, I won't hold my breath in the meantime." I answered, smiling knowlingly at him and promptly emptied my glass.

I stood up and stretched a little. I had been sitting for far too long.

"I'm hungry." I announced, handing him my empty glass and headed towards the kitchen. "Are you hungry as well?" I called out, having reached the fridge and opening it to peruse it's contents.

And there staring me in the face was the evidence of the Carlisle that I knew so well. Left over food neatly stored in containers, ready to make another meal. I smiled and pulled out a couple of the plastic containers.

"What are you going to cook?" He asked. I turned and there he was, standing at the doorway. His usual spot. I could hardly believe my eyes! He had already taken off his button down. I was beginning to think that he could read my mind. He must have sensed that I didn't want to stay the night and here he was seducing me.

I turned back to the task in hand; making a meal.

"I'm not sure what it's going to be Carlisle. Let's just say that it will taste good." I answered.

"Can I help?" He asked, his tone hopeful.

"No, thanks." I replied. He would only be the total distraction that he obvioulsy intented to be. "You go and relax and pour out another glass of wine for us. I won't be long."

Only a short time later I had finished cooking and shared the concoction of pan fried potatoes, onions, cooked bacon and eggs, between two plates. I picked up two forks and the plates and carried everything out to where he was sitting. He took a plate and fork from me and smiled his appreciation.

I sat down and we ate in silence. I sipped on my wine between mouthfulls of food, until both were all gone.

He reached over and took my empty plate and glass.

"How about a nightcap, Bella.? Just to end a perfect day." I nodded and then remembered the last time that I had more than one Brandy.

"But only one, Carlisle. I really don't need to have another headache in the morning, like last time." I held my hand over my forehead for a more dramatic affect.

He chuckled at me and disappeared into the cabin. He came back moments later with two Brandy glasses and handed me one. I cupped the bulbous glass between my palms, relieved that he had listened to my request and had only given me a half measure.

"Bella, would you please stay the night?" I stared into my Brandy glass, not sure how I should answer that question. I had already decided that I would go back to my cabin at the end of the day. And yet here he was asking me to stay. He hadn't taken it for granted that I would. How could I possibly say no? Yep, I was still weak, but only because I wanted to be. Not because I felt obliged.

"I would love to stay, Carlisle." I answered honestly and took a sip of my Brandy, relishing the resulting warmth of it, spreading throughout my body.

As the night drew in and the temperature around us dipped, I made my way to his bedroom while he secured the cabin. I undressed and snuggled down into his bed, finishing off the Brandy. I placed the empty glass on the floor by the side of the bed and watched as Carlisle undressed and got into bed with me. He placed his arm around my shoulders and pulled me to his chest, trailing his fingers through my hair.

"Would you tell me about Italy, Carlisle?" I asked as I snuggled closer to him.

"I thought you might be tired, Bella. What with all the fresh air you had today." He mused.

"No. I'm not tired just yet." I admitted.

"Well, where shall I start. Rome I suppose. That was an amazing place. I went there in the summer. It was very hot. I could only concentrate on painting in the early mornings and in the afternoon once the temperature had cooled a little. I then travelled to Naples, Rimini and Milan. Actually I still have a house in Milan." He stated, taking me by surprise.

"When was the last you stayed there?" I asked. I'd be living there if I had a choice.

"Oh, it's been a few years now. It's rented out so that it doesn't fall into disrepair. A house is not a home unless it's lived in." He smiled.

"I don't understand, Carlisle. You have a home in Milan and no doubt other countries too and yet you chose to stay here." I could not work him out.

"What's wrong in staying here, Bella? It's the ideal place for me. I'm not too far from Seattle and the company, yet far enough away to maintain my privacy." He said bluntly.

"I don't know, Carlisle. I think if I had the choice of places to live as you do, I would want to spend some time in all of them. Maybe spend a year sun seeking and in your case paint. You would still be easy to keep in contact with, what with computers and fast flights." His eyebrows arched as he listened to me.

"I'd never really thought about it in that way. It has been a while since I travelled." He said almost to himself. "I suppose I could get a collection together for an exhibition."

He kissed the top of my head as if he was thanking me.

"I think it would be good for you, Carlisle." I confirmed. I could feel the positive feelings coming from him.

He placed his hand under my chin and tilted my face up towards his. "If I do go, Bella, do you promise to be there when I exhibit my paintings?" I nodded.

"I said I would, didn't I? I'd be only to happy to be there." He leaned into me, capturing my mouth with his. I had missed his touch and his kisses even tough we had shared so much the previous night and spent the whole day together. I was completely and hopelessly, hooked.

He rolled me over onto my back still kissing me. I responded by lacing my fingers through his hair, fisting it to pull him closer to me. And then I felt his mouth disconnect from mine. I opened my eyes, not sure as to what was happening.

"Bella, I know that you were thinking of not staying with me tonight." His breath fanned over my mouth. Was I really that transparent?

"I don't want you to feel pressured to do anything, that you don't want to do, Bella." How could I resist him? He was being his most considerate and charming.

As I looked into his blazing green eyes, I couldn't resist him. I cupped his face in my hands and pressed my mouth to his.

He took me gently, almost reverently. A complete contrast to the night before. I didn't want to spend my time inwardly debating the why's and wherefore's. I simply enjoyed the difference. He pleased me first, in every way that he could putting aside his own needs, until I had my final orgasm. I held onto him tightly, kissing his face as he spilled into me. We clung to each other for a while, to give us time to regain our normal breathing pattern and heartbeat.

As I drifted off to sleep, his fingers trailing through my hair again, I felt sure that when I returned to Seattle, I would be so busy again with my work and friends that I would eventually get over him. Eventually.

**End of Chapter**

**Author's note;** So, with all of those emotions bouncing backwards and forwards, I wonder how the rest of the week will pan out. While I go back to my 'drawing board' and decide on how the next chapter will take shape, I hope that you will share your thoughts with me in the meantime. Take care, until next time.


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's note; **Many thanks to all of yourwho reviewed the previous chapter. I do hope I have replied to all of you. Many thanks to all of you who have put this story on your Favourites/Story Alerts lists. I am very encouraged. This chapter is Bella and Carlisle's last evening together. I'll leave you to enjoy it.

**Disclaimer; **I own nothing Twilight but I thought of this story.

**Agony and Ecstasy**

Silent Declarations

_I can hardly believe that my holiday on Orcas Island has almost finished. I leave tomorrow afternoon, to return to Seattle._

_I'm sad to be leaving for two reasons. It has been the only holiday when I have truly relaxed. This island is truly beautiful and almost magical. The colour green has never been a particular favourite of mine but staying over here has made me realise how wonderful the different hues of green are. Because of Carlisle's work, I have learnt that the range of green is vast._

_Of course that would include Carlisle's, piercing green eyes. I know that I will miss him too. We seemed to have reached a comfortable almost easy going co-existance these last days, since the upheaval, that was Friday. He paints in the morning while I sleep. One of us then prepares lunch and we share some time out in the sun. Then it's time to focus on my portrait. _

_It is developing well. He seems to have captured all it is he wants to remember about me. I'm just relieved that this picture will be hanging somewhere in his cabin and no where else. I have enjoyed the experience of posing for him but to actually see the picture hanging anywhere else but here, I think I would die of embarrassment. It will be the only time that I will pose for a portrait, of that I am sure._

_I promised Carlisle that I wouldn't tell anyone about our time together. I know that he trusts me. The weight of the possible power he has over me, felt so heavy._

_I cannot possibly return to this island in the future. When I leave Friday, I will move on with my life._

_I certainly won't be picking up where I left off as far as my personal life is concerned. That would mean having regrets. I have so far managed to keep to my new mantra, no regrets, pretty well this week and I just hope it continues when I get back to Seattle._

_I will just have to be extra careful and little more fussy about who I meet and decide to share my personal time with. I will not fall into the old traps ever again._

_I will no doubt still have to give myself a pep talk every once in awhile. This new attitude is still in it's infancy and will need to be nurtured in order that it grows strong and becomes a part of me as if it had always existed._

_I'm looking forward to seeing Alice and Rose again and catching up on all of their news. As for the questions that they are bound to ask about my holiday, I will just have to tread carefully. This island will hold our secrets._

"Bella? Are you ready?" I quietly shut my journal and turned in my chair to smile at him.

"Yes. I'm ready, Carlisle." As I stood up, placing the journal and pen on the chair, I stretched a little, reaching my arms upwards and arching my back. I had sat down a little longer than usual after lunch.

Carlisle had already organised the room with the chair and blue cover in position. He was just waiting for me. This was my final sitting. Carlisle wanted to make sure that he had all the detail that he needed so that he would be able to finish the painting once I had gone home. I was a little disappointed that I wouldn't be able see the end result but I would just have to be happy with that. We don't always get what we want in life and this was one of those times.

As I undressed, I could feel Carlisle's eyes on me. He was standing at the easel, a paintbrush held between his teeth and another in his hand. He was ready and waiting.

I took up my position and held his gaze for a moment. Not a single word was spoken and yet, so much was being said between us. I couldn't really understand it and now was not the time to ask.

He gave me a small smile and turned his attention to the canvas in front of him.

I kept quiet not sure whether he needed silence in order to concentrate. I would always wait for him to dictate the mood of the sitting. Sitting quietly was not something that particularly bothered me. I had always enjoyed peace and quiet and to a certain degree, my own company. I think the fact that Carlisle and I were so similar in our likes and dislikes was the reason that we had such an understanding.

Would I ever meet another man, who had the confidence and charisma equal to Carlisle?

"Have you packed your things yet, Bella?" He voice was almost absentminded in its tone.

I shifted my gaze from the floor, as he broke me out of my thoughts and looked up at him.

"No, not yet. I thought it would be something I could do in the morning. If I packed it today I would probably only end up re-packing it in the morning." I chuckled to myself.

My habit of making sure that I had everything was not far short of comical.

"So you have nothing planned for this evening?" He asked, focusing his attention on the canvas again. Why did I have the feeling that he did have something planned?

"If _you_ do, Carlisle, you only have to say and I'll go back to my cabin when you're done." He didn't answer me at first. It felt like he was taunting me although I wasn't sure as to the reason why.

He finally stopped painting, putting down the brush he was holding and walked over to me. The look on his face took me by surprise. My stomach flipped and my heart literally skipped a beat. His 'come to bed eyes' were in full working order. When he finally stood in front of me, he reached down and cupped my face in his hands, tilting it up so that I was looking into his eyes.

"Yes I do have something planned for this evening, Bella. It happens to require your presence. So while you go and get something on a little less informal, I shall see about getting myself ready. We have an hour." He grinned at me as I sat dumbstruck. Putting _anything_ on at this precise moment in time, would have made me less informal!

"I'll knock for you when I'm ready." He whispered, his breath fanning over my mouth. I shut my eyes for a moment enjoying the flush that was rising in my body. His hands were still cupping my face and then his lips were on mine. The kiss was soft and tender, as if it were a promise of things to come.

I opened my eyes as he moved away from my lips and turned my face slightly to place a kiss on the palm of his hand. At that moment if he had said that the arrangements were cancelled, I wouldn't have complained.

He slowly stood as if he were as reluctant as I, to end the moment we shared.

"You only have fifty eight minutes now, Bella." He smiled, turned on his heel and disappeared into his bedroom.

I sat for a moment staring into the space where his form had stood. And then like something possessed I got up and quickly put my clothes back on. Key in hand, I walked back swiftly to my cabin. I had such mixed emotions in the time that I did have,to get ready.

As I brushed through my hair and put it up out of the way, forming a messy bun, I could feel the excitement of not knowing what he had planned for this evening, building in my chest. And yet the tinge of sadness was ever present.

I had a quick shower to freshen up, picked out fresh underwear, a pair of black smart pants and my dark blue silk blouse. They were the only two items that I considered formal, that I bothered to pack for this holiday. I smiled as I looked into the mirror, happy with the end result and quickly grabbed my purse.

I didn't have time to put very much make up on so decided to just put on a little of the candy pink lipstick, the only lipstick I bothered to bring with me and popped that into my purse. A quick spray of my perfume and just as Carlisle knocked on the French doors, I picked up my black jacket and walked over to greet him. He quickly appraised me and smiled his approval.

I in turn, smiled my approval of him. He was wearing a pair of smart black pants with, what looked like a very expensive white button down and a grey casual jacket. He was freshly showered and smelt really good. I took a step closer to him and reached up to kiss his cheek.

"Let's go shall we?" He whispered, huskily. I was very tempted to say 'no'.

After I locked up the cabin, he took my hand and led me to the Vdub which he had already parked outside. Our journey to Orcas Village was a silent one. I had grown so accustomed to the fact that we didn't need to talk just for the sake of it and simply enjoyed a chance to take in the scenery of the early evening.

Carlisle neatly parked the car, locked his door and walked around the car to open my door. He took my hand, locked the passenger door and led me down to the harbour.

I eyed him suspiciously as we walked toward the quay. He smiled at me and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.

"We're going over to San Juan for the evening. Nothing sinister, I promise." He said, taking a deep breath and checking his watch. As the private boat pulled in we made our way over to it carefully boarded and made ourselves comfortable.

As soon as we reached Friday Horbour, Carlisle made sure that the arrangements were correct for our return journey.

Once again he took my hand and led me up to the main street.

"Are you going to tell me now, where it is were going?" My curiosity was getting the better of me. I thought I had held out pretty well, considering how much notice I had been given to get ready.

We walked a little further until he stopped and finally turned to me. "I thought as we had enjoyed the food so much, when we went whale watching, I would book a table for our last evening together." I looked behind me and found that we were standing outside the entrance to the Downriggers Restaurant.

I couldn't help but smile. It was an excellent idea and if my memory served me well, a little romantic. I pushed that thought out of the way quickly. He was just being his most charming self, as usual.

"That's a lovely idea. Thank you." I said quietly, as he led me into the restaurant. We were swiftly seated at a window table, the perfect spot to watch the yachts and small boats coming in after a day out at sea.

As our waiter handed us the menus, Carlisle ordered two glasses of La Crema Chardonnay. We were left to choose from the very extensive menu.

"Have you ever eaten oysters, Bella?" He asked, looking at me over the top of his menu.

"No, I haven't but I'm not averse to trying something new." He gave me a broad grin and nodded. I realised at once what the look on his face meant. I had indeed tried out many new things on this holiday and almost all of them in some way involved the man that was sitting opposite me.

"Oysters it is then. What would you like for your main course?" I looked down at the menu again and scanned the choice.

"The Lemon Seafood Pasta, please." I shut the menu just as the waiter came over with our wine.

Carlisle placed our order and lifted his glass towards me.

"To you, beautiful Bella." He began. "When you arrived for your holiday, you gave me fresh inspiration to enjoy working again. You have been a breath of fresh air in what was, my rather stale existence. Thank you, Bella for a wonderful two weeks and I wish you all the very best when you arrive back in Seattle." He smiled gently and took a sip of his wine, his gaze not leaving my face. I could feel an emotional lump rising in my throat and swallowed it back, quickly.

I lifted my glass to him. "I came on holiday to discover myself. To decide what it was I wanted in my life." I began, taking a deep breath. "I can happily go home knowing that I have met a very special man. I will never forget you, Carlisle and if you do decide to show your work again in the future, I would be very proud and honoured to stand by your side that day." I said quietly. I meant every single word.

His face was still for a moment, showing no sign of emotion. It was difficult to know what he was thinking at the best of times but in that moment, I really was none the wiser. As I took a sip of my wine I noticed out of the corner of my eye that our first course was about to be served.

Carlisle quickly refocused his attention to the waiter and nodded his approval, as the plates were placed in front of us. He looked over to me and grinned.

"Right, Bella. As you haven't had oysters before, let me show you how to eat them." He immediately squeezed a small amount of lemon juice on the oyster, put the shell to his lips, tilted his head back and swallowed the oyster expertly. I had no doubt that he had done this many times over the years. Good wine and good food would no doubt have been an expectation at one stage of his life.

He watched as I did the same. As I tiled my head back to allow the oyster to slide down my throat I shut my eyes not sure of what to expect. To my surprise as I swallowed, I realised that I had nothing to worry about and turned my attention to the next oyster shell. I actually liked them.

I washed it all down with a mouthful of wine and sat back in my chair while we waited for our next course, enjoying the view from our table.

The last few boats were now coming into harbour, gently manouvering through the water to take up their mooring positions. The sun was beginning to set and it was the time of day that could quite happily be described as twilight. Very soon the moon would take up position to shine down on our world.

I scanned the restaurant quickly and noticed that it was quite busy. I had been so lost in watching the boats that I hadn't even registered the gentle sounds of conversations going on around us.

Our empty plates had been cleared away in that time and the waiter was now on his way back with our main meal. My plate looked and smelled wonderful. I smiled up at Carlisle as his plate was set before him. He had opted for the grilled Lobster Tail.

No sooner had I stuck my fork into my meal, Carlisle stretched across the table with his fork, laden with succulent lobster.

"Here, Bella. Try this. It's absolutely wonderful." I leaned forward and opened my mouth to accept his gesture. I closed my lips around the fork and he watched as he pulled the fork from my mouth. He was seriously messing with my head. I had never shared food with a man before. Mike was always too busy shovelling it into his mouth, to worry about sharing any of it with me. I had always been told what a turn on it was by Rose but until now, I hadn't realised how much of a turn on it would be for me. I crossed my legs tightly as I chewed on the lobster. My body was beginning to react to all of the attention he was lavishing on me.

Clearing my head of an image of us in bed together later, I stabbed at my food and loaded the fork. I cheekily looked over at Carlisle from under my lashes and lifted the fork in his direction. He looked up at me and smiled rather seductively. As he leaned forward slightly over the table, he opened his mouth just enough to accept the forkful of food. He closed his eyes for a moment as he chewed and swallowed.

"Thank you, Bella. I hope that will not be the _only_ thing we share tonight." He said quietly and took another sip of his wine. I felt the flush travel up my body from the pit of my stomach and finish at my cheeks. My body was a complete traitor as far as reacting to Carlisle's words, was concerned. Let alone all of the other things he did to me.

He seemed to take pity on me and for the rest of the evening we chatted about everything and nothing and enjoyed the rest of the meal. Neither of us had room for dessert at the time but Carlisle ordered dessert that we could take back to the cabin. Two slices of white chocolate cheesecake with a raspberry sauce.

We rounded off the evening with a black coffee. As we left, the waiter brought us our take out package and wished us a pleasant evening. It certainly had been a lovely way to spend out last evening together.

The journey back to Orcas Village was made in almost total darkness. I turned slightly in the boat and looked back to Friday Harbour and its twinkling lights and then looked forward to the lights ahead of us. We arrived back at the village and settled in the Vdub for the journey back to Deer Harbour. Carlisle had given me the dessert to look after. I was sure that by the time we got back to the cabin, I would have enough room in my stomach to eat the dessert.

Carlisle parked the car by the front door of his cabin, quickly opened the door and flicked the light on so that we were not in total darkness as he locked up the car.

As I made my way to the kitchen, I hung my jacket up in the hallway. I quickly found two shallow bowls and transferred the dessert into them, carefully pouring the sauce over the top of each slice of cheesecake.

Carlisle was suddenly standing directly behind me, his breath fanning over the back of my neck. "Umm. That looks delicious, Bella. Shall we eat it in the bedroom?" He whispered, close to my ear. A shiver ran up my spine and finished directly at the top of my neck. I had to shut my eyes for a moment before I answered him.

"Absolutely, Carlisle. Here." I turned to face him and handed him his dessert and a spoon. He captured my lips with his and gave me a very gentle kiss. He was certainly in full seduction mode tonight! He had already removed his jacket and button down. I felt completely overdressed, standing in front of him.

I followed him into the bedroom. I had to smile at the sight of the small candles that had been lit and were placed in strategic places around the room so that the ceiling light was not needed. He had obviously quickly organised this earlier and lit the candles when I was in the kitchen.

I smiled at his gesture and carefully took up my place on the bed. He joined me on the bed and we both savoured each mouthful of the dessert.

"This is the perfect end to the day, Carlisle. Thank you so much for this evening."

"The evening isn't over yet, Bella." He said softly, taking my empty bowl away from me and setting it down on the floor next to the bed with his bowl.

I looked around the dimly lit room and stretched out on the bed and relaxed into his outstretched arms.

"I'm beginning to think that you're trying to make it difficult for me to leave tomorrow." I stated, not wanting to look into his face, as I rested my cheek on his warm chest.

He hesitated for a moment and I was sure that I heard his heart speed up a little.

"I'd be a fool to say that I was looking forward to you leaving. Of course I'm not but I know you have to go." He lifted up my hand to his lips and kissed the back of it."It's good to end the time we've shared on a happy note, don't you think?" He added. His heartbeat seemed to calm down again.

I stared blankly at the wall ahead of me and swallowed back another lump that was forming in my throat. I was feeling far too emotional about everything. I was sure that when I got back to Seattle, everything would settle down again.

He tilted my face upwards and kissed my forehead and then my temple. "I can happily say Bella that I have enjoyed every single minute of your company." He freed my hair from it's confines and laid me down on the bed. He hovered over me propping himself up by his arms, placed either side of me.

"Promise me one thing, Bella." I nodded to him.

"Yes, Carlisle. What?" He face was sincere.

"When you go back to Seattle, please make the right choice, Bella." He gently moved a stray strand of hair, from my cheek.

"I'm not sure I know what you're talking about. The right choice about what?" I frowned at him.

"Anything that you have to make an important decision about. Please take your time and make sure it is the right one, that it's what you really want." He explained.

"Of course, Carlisle. If that's one thing I've learnt while I've been here is that I must be a little more selfish from now on. I really don't want to make the same mistakes as I have over the last few years. You made me realise that I'm worth more than a one night stand or a rebound relationship. Trust me I will take my time and make the right decisions about everything." I assured him.

As he leaned down towards me I snaked my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me. The kiss deepened and our tongues met, tasting and caressing each other. He deftly pulled me upright so that I was sitting with him between my legs. As the kiss continued he slowly undid the buttons of my blouse. I could feel his fingers brushing against my body, working their way down my torso. When he reached the final button, I let go of his neck and he gently slipped the blouse off my shoulders. Every part of me tingled at his touch.

I had experienced him in so many different ways during our time together from the needy and urgent to this the most gentle and reverent.

His mouth left mine and proceeded to lavish attention on my shoulders, placing open mouthed kisses along each one. I wasn't yet naked but my heart rate had increased so much that I was breathing heavily. All the sensations were being forced around my body at a much faster rate then usual.

As he undid my bra and it slipped from my body, our torso's finally touched. Flesh to flesh. I wrapped my arms around his chest and pressed myself into him. I immediately felt safe and secure in his arms, confident and sure of who I was.

At almost the same moment we pulled away from each other and made light work of undoing the buttons and zips of each others pants. We seemed to be doing everything in sync without having to say a word. We repositioned ourselves and knelt still facing each other, our mouths connected once again as we freed each other from the rest of our clothing.

His fingers grazed at my entrance for a moment the then tentatively entered me. I deepened the kiss to give him my approval and moaned into his mouth. He made me feel sensational.

His hardened length grazed my stomach, begging to be touched. I placed my hand around him, stroking him gently at first. I illicited a delicious moan from him that vibrated all the way down, deep into my chest. Never had I connected with a man the way I had with him.

We both lowered ourselves, his legs under me and mine straddling his lap. As he removed his fingers, I shuffled forwards slightly and with my hand still in place, guided him to my entrance and then placed my hand on his back. I could feel the hesitation in him. He was waiting for me to dictate when he would enter me.

I needed him too much to delay our connection. I pushed on his back and moved myself forward to close the gap that was between us.

We both groaned and clung to each other as he entered me. The feel of him filling me brought about my first high. I could feel the flush rise from where we were connected and travel throughout my whole body. There was no better feeling, of that I was sure.

I moved my hands and held onto his shoulders as he wrapped his around my waist. We seemed to be perfectly balanced as I took control and rocked backwards and forwards with just the slightest movement of my hips. I ended the kiss, gasping for air. Not wanting to disconnect from me in any way, he lavished kisses on my chest once again and trailed his kisses down to my breasts, licking and sucking them causing me to increase the pace. He seemed to know each time that another high was going to course through me, by holding me tighter and whispering gentle words of encouragement.

"Oh, Bella. You're so beautiful." He breathed.

"Come again for me, Bella." He begged.

"Can you feel how hard I am? You do that to me, Bella. No other woman but you." He sighed.

I was beginning to lose all sense of reality as I began to slam into him hard. My lungs were fighting to be fully inflated. I could hear my voice calling his name.

"Yes, Carlisle! Yes!" I cried out.

"Don't let me go!" I begged.

As my final orgasm began to build and he filled me completely, hitting that glorious spot that only he could, I held him in a vice like grip around his shoulders. I had never known myself to feel so strong before. He had unleashed something in me that I never knew was there.

"I won't let you go, Bella. I won't." He promised.

I hungrily found his mouth again and plunged my tongue in at the same moment as I felt him spill into me. My walls gripped tightly around him as I thrust myself on him, driving him harder into me until my orgasm finally took over, radiating such a heat that I felt like I was on fire. Exhausted I stilled in his arms. He gently held me to him rocking his hips into me, so that we both rode out our orgasm together.

He held onto me for a while after we were both still. My walls were still pulsing gently around him, reluctant to let him go.

He slowly disconnected from me and I felt the loss almost immediately. I was unable to register very much of what happened next. I was completely spent.

I felt my body being repositioned and finally coming to rest on the bed. The bed shifted for a moment and then finally I felt Carlisle's arms wrap around me making me feel warm and secure once again.

**Carlisle POV**

After I carefully lay Bella down, I quickly snuffed out all of the candles in the room. I stood for a moment looking at her beautiful form in my bed. Her breathing had finally evened out and yet her body to my amazement, was still flushed.

I lay back down beside her, pulled the comforter slowly over us and gently cradled her in my arms.

My promise to her still stood, even after the heat and height of passion. I would not let go of her easily. As much as it had to appear so, I would not. I would not give her up to Jasper Whitlock without a fight.

And my plans would begin tomorrow. The minute Bella got on that boat to take her home.

Sure that she was sound asleep, I whispered to her gently.

"I love you, Bella. I love you."

**End of Chapter**

**Author's note: **So, Bella and Carlisle's story has now come to an end. Or has it? You will have to wait and see what I come up with for the next chapter. Most certainly, Bella returns to Seattle. Of that I am sure. In the meantime you know what to do, to share your thoughts with me. Take care, until next time.


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's note; **Many thanks to all of you who reviewed the previous chapter. Thank you also to those of you who have added this story to your Favourites/Story Alerts Lists and to those of you who have added me to your Favourite Author Lists. You are very kind. Friday has arrived and Bella is due to go back home. Let's see how she handles it all. Enjoy.

**Disclaimer; **I do not own Twilight but I do own this little story.

**Agony and Ecstasy**

Home again

My final day began no differently to the others this week. I stretched out on the bed, grabbing at Carlisle's pillow and hugging it to my face. I inhaled deeply, his scent filtering rapidly towards my brain. I surprised myself that I didn't feel as sad as I thought I might. I simply felt gratitude.

I was thankful that I had met him and I was thankful that he had allowed me to to share this time with him. He had changed me in a way that I had never thought possible.

There was a time when I thought that giving yourself to a man, completely, would mean losing yourself. Losing your identity.

But now I knew that couldn't be further from the truth. Because of Carlisle I had discovered myself.

I had always been the kind of child who just did as they were told. I did everything to please my parents and yet it didn't make them happy. They were my world and when they divorced I had no clue at the time, as to what it was I had done wrong. Had I messed everything up in some way, that they coudln't live with each other anymore? I felt at the time, wrongly of course, that their unhappiness was down to me. That I was somehow a dissappointment to them. When they split, it seemed natural to go with mom. For a time I was really happy but I missed dad so much.

It wasn't until I was older, that I realised how much dad and I had in common. If I had spent more time with him then maybe I would have been able to understand myself a little more than I did, when I became an adult.

I decided that I would no longer be thwarted by his fishing trips as a excuse for not seeing him. Even if he was out all day, I would make sure that I would be there to make him his dinner when he came home and make the most of my weekends spent with him. This was something that I needed to do.

Taking control was another trait that I had always seen as selfish and destructive in a relationship. I had now learnt that doing so was actually healthy. From now on I wanted to be more _in_ control rather than _being_ controlled. I no longer wanted to be swept along by men with their ideas and suggestions. I happily made decisions in my working life without any detriment to those around me, so now was the time to take control of my personal life. If everyone around me could do this, then so could I. As Carlisle had said, as long as your selfishness didn't hurt the people you cared for, then that was okay.

Gone was the Bella who would just drop everything just to be available for a guy. From now on they would have to do the running and if they didn't then they were not worth it in the first place.

This was the new Bella.

I felt a fresh wave of impetus wash over me. I realised that I would begin by finally giving back the few things that I had in my apartment, that belonged to Mike. As soon as I got home I would gather them up, pack them in a box and take them back to his home. It would be cathartic. To my way of thinking if I still held onto those things, then I was not really over him. I didn't need reminders of another failed relationship. Memories were enough, I certainly didn't need the tangible things to do that job.

I got out of bed and pulled on Carlisle's t-shirt to make my way to the bathroom and begin the process of leaving the island.

I went back to the bedroom and quickly changed back into my clothes in order to go back to my cabin. Just as I finished putting up my hair he walked passed, heading to the kitchen.

"The coffee is ready, Bella!" He called out. Making sure I had everything, I retrieved my jacket and slipped it on and stood in the doorway of the kitchen. He held out a cup to me and I took it, nodding my thanks.

"Umm, just what I need. Thank you." I said quietly.

We stood for a moment holding each other's gaze.

I suddenly felt the need to reiterate my promise to him.

"I promise I won't tell anyone about our time together." He gave me a gentle smile.

"I know you won't, Bella. It would make your working life too difficult. I don't want you to leave the company. Jasper spoke highly of you. You're a valuable asset."

I shut my eyes at his words. A valuable asset. He made it sound as though I was just another acquisiton. Obviously good value for money as far as he was concerned.

In reality that was what Carlisle was all about. He didn't waste his time on trvial matters. His time was precious. He knew what he wanted in life and as I now knew, he had the means to get it.

I gave him a small smile when the realisation hit me that we had spent virtually the whole of my time on this island, together. I felt a sense of pride that he did not consider _me_ a waste of _his _time when we had been together. We would be parting as good friends. Very good friends, more intimate than most and yet with the understanding that this was where the initmate part of the relationship would now end.

As I finished my coffee, I lifted my hand to his face and ran my fingers along his unshaven jaw.

"Thank you, Carlisle. For everything." I whispered.

"No, thank you, Bella. I've made my mind up that once the commissioned painting is finsihed, I'm going to resume my travels again for a time. It will be good to check on the properties first hand and make sure that the agents are still keeping up their end of the bargain, as far as looking after the homes are concerned." He nodded and took my cup from my hand and placed it, along with his on the counter top. He lifted his hands and cupped my face.

"Will you paint?" I smiled, hoping that the answer would be a resounding yes.

"Yes, I am going to paint again. And I will see you at my next exhibition." His words were a promise. If it was one thing I had learned about Carlisle, it was that he never said anything that he didn't mean.

Superfluous words were not his forte.

"I'm looking forward to it, Carlisle. You will take them by storm once again." He smiled at my words and stepped forward to close the gap between us. As his lips met mine, it felt so much that this was our last kiss goodbye.

I snaked my arms around his neck pulling myself closer to him and deepening the kiss. The gentleness in his hold and touch, his tongue caressing mine. None of it was lost on me. Yes, this was our goodbye.

As the kiss came to a natural end, he leaned his forehead against mine.

"You need to go and pack, Bella. And I need to get back to the painting in the meantime. Just knock when your ready." Practical as always, Carlisle never lost focus on the important matters that were at hand.

I nodded my head as we separated and left his cabin.

While the water heated up for my shower, I sorted thorough the fridge. There were plenty of things that had not been used and therefore Carlisle could have them. I bagged it all up and quickly put away a few things and made sure that the cabin was tidy, setting my large holdall on the bed ready to be packed.

I had my shower, wrapped my hair up in a towel and secured my robe around me while I tidied the bathroom. Taking all of my toiletries to the bedroom, I began to pack.

I took my time packing. If I rushed myself I would only end up double checking it anyway. In no time everything was done and I had completely dried off under my robe.

I quickly dressed and packed my robe, the last item. I secured my holdall and set it down by the French doors. I found my watch and secured it on my wrist once again.

My holiday was almost over. Real life was beginning to take over once again. I quickly packed my small bag and then turned my attention to drying my hair.

With that job done, I packed the last few items and made sure that I had my ticket handy. Moving my luggage outside I secured the cabin.

I turned to look at the view one last time. It was not a partcularily sunny day. Not as bad as it was the previous Friday but just not as clear and bright as it had been.

I breathed deeply and wheeled my luggage over to Carlisle's cabin with the bag of leftover food. I found him standing at the canvas, wiping his hands on a rag. By the look on his face, he had finished for the day. The light would not be good enough for him to continue. I wondered briefly as to what he would do for the rest of the day. I dismissed that thought quickly. Until I arrived he had a routine. Who was I to think that his routine would now be any different, once I had left the island?

"That's as much as I can do for today." He said to me. "Come and look." He added, holding out his hand to me. I walked over and he placed his arm around my shoulders. I leaned my head into his shoulder and studied the painting for a moment.

"It's beautiful, Carlisle. Really it is." I breathed.

"Yes." He whispered. "I'm really pleased with it as well. I shall probably have it finished within the next few days. The buyer will be pleased." He said, placing a kiss on my head.

He then pointed to my portrait that was placed on the smaller easel on the desk.

"I shall finish working on you too." I smiled at his words. "My lasting reminder of a beautiful woman." He added, giving my shoulder a gentle squeeze.

We separated once again, he headed towards the bedroom, I assumed to get a t-shirt. I quickly made my way to his kitchen and placed the items of food in his fridge. It would ne a nice surprise for him later.

We both made our way back to the living room.

He was now wearing a t-shirt. He slipped on a pair of shoes and fished out his car keys from his jeans pocket.

"Are you ready, Bella?" I nodded and gave him a small smile. It was hard to try and be totally happy about going. I wasn't but it had to be.

He lead the way, stowing my luggage into the Vdub and securing his cabin.

My last journey into the village was again, a quiet one. I looked over to Carlisle a few times as we travelled. His eyes were firmly fixed to the road ahead. His focus never wavered.

As we stood on the quay ready for me to board the ferry, I took one last look at the village.

Once the arriving passengers had disembarked I placed my hand on the handle of my large holdall, ready to wheel it on. Carlisle placed his hand on my forearm and simply said, "Take care, Bella."

I smiled at him. "I will, Carlisle. I will." Renewing the promise I had already made to him.

Once safely on board I made my way out onto the viewing deck. I was a little surprised to find him still standing at the quay. As the ferry began to move he held up his hand towards me, motionless. His hair was being blown about by the sea breeze, in the same way as the day that I first met him. I waved back to him, enthusiastically. No regrets, no regrets. I chanted to myself.

Finally he dropped his hand to his side and reached into his back pocket, pulling out what looked like his cell phone. He flipped it open and turned, walking back to his car. Business was never far from Carlisle's thoughts, even on this lovely island.

Once I arrived back on the main land I managed to hail a cab to take me home.

Within minutes of opening my front door, I retrieved my cell from the breakfast bar and switched it on. It rang out almost immediately. It was Alice.

"Oh my God, Bella! Your back!" She shouted down the phone when I answered.

"Hi, Alice." I had barely gotten the words out before she began the predictable onslaught of questions.

"So how was the holiday? Did you do anything special? Did you meet anyone nice? If you did, was he hot?" I took a deep breath on her behalf.

"Slow down, Alice. Slow down, please. One question at a time. In fact no questions over the phone. Let me get unpacked and few things done here and then I'll meet you at your place about five." I stated in a no nonsense tone.

Alice was actually silent for a moment. I had obviously taken her by surprise.

"Of course, Bella. I'll send Rose a text and tell her to get her sweet ass over to mine. See you later, Bella." Before I could even reply, she was gone.

The first thing I did was unpack my bags and put the washing on. I laid out the t-shirt that Carlisle had given me, on my pillow. My momento of a happy holiday. If nothing else I would be sleeping in it when I got home. I carefully unpacked the watercolours that he had given me. I would have to make sure that I placed an order with a framing shop and have them framed before they got damaged in any way. For the time being I placed them in a large folder that I had.

I quickly wrote out a shopping list of the things I needed in order to re-stock the fridge and then sat down with a glass of water to look through my post. There was nothing of any importance, just the usual junk mail and a couple of bills.

My next task would to be much more enjoyable. I found a small fruit box that was waiting to be re-cycled and began to find the things that belonged to Mike. After about half an hour of searching through the CDs and DVDs, drawers, nightstand and top drawer of my chest of drawers, I had managed to find everything that belonged to him. I even found a couple of photographs that I saw no point in keeping any longer. Once I had packed everything into the box, I set it down by the front door. I planned on delivering it to him on my way to Alice's place.

I then decided to go and quickly get the few things that I needed from the grocery store. When I returned, I made myself a sandwich and poured out a glass of milk and had that before getting ready to go.

I picked out my black skinny jeans and a pink blouse that I had bought some time ago but had never had the opportunity to wear. After I brushed out my hair and put on a little makeup, nothing too heavy; we were only having a girls night in after all, I slipped into my high heels again. They felt a little strange having worn flats for the last fourteen days. I grabbed my black jacket and slipped it on. As I did so, I caught whiff of Carlisle's scent coming from the jacket. I shut my eyes for a moment and smiled to myself.

As I pulled myself out of my reverie, I grabbed my purse and the box that I was going to give to Mike and headed for my car.

I pulled up outside Mike's apartment block. I sat for a moment in the car. I wanted to make sure that I had every possible angle covered. I knew how manipulative he could be. I was not going to get caught out by anything that he might say to me. We hadn't spoken for over two weeks but that didn't mean that he might not try to get me back.

His car was parked in it's usual spot, so I knew he was in.

I grabbed the box, secured the car and made my way to the lobby door. I buzzed his apartment number. A couple of minutes later his voice came over the intercom.

"Yes?" His tone was a littlle surprised. He was obviously not expecting visitors.

"Mike, it's Bella. I have the things that you left at my apartment. I thought I would drop the box off on my way out." I stated flatly.

"Oh, right. Okay I'll buzz you up." I heard the entry door click and I pushed against it and stepped in the large lobby. His apartment was on the third floor so I pressed the button for the lift. I really did have the wrong shoes on for that hike!

As I arrived at his floor, he had thoughtfully left his door open. I walked straight in and placed the box down on the breakfast bar. He was sitting on his couch and slowly stood as I turned to speak to him.

"That's everything, Mike." I said simply, ready to leave.

"I don't have anything of your's here." He stated flatly.

"No, of course not. I didn't really bring anything over that I needed to leave here." I said, as I walked towards the open door.

"Bella, I miss you." I smiled to myself and stood still for a moment. As I turned my head I caught Carlisle's scent again, rising from my jacket. It seemed to give me the focus I needed.

"You'll get over it Mike." He walked over to me and reached for my arm. I stepped back from him. He was not going to touch me, ever again.

His hand dropped by his side at my reaction to him and he looked at me, holding my gaze.

"Where have you been for the last two weeks? I called round to your place a few times." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at him and shrugged my shoulders as I answered.

"I went away. I had a holiday, Mike. I needed to clear my head." I replied honestly.

"Have you changed your mind?" He face suddenly lit up as if he had been given an unspoken green light.

"No, Mike. Not in a million years. I need to go. I'm expected somewhere." He raked his fingers through his hair, looking down at the floor. His stance was that of having finally admitted defeat.

"Bella, please." Then again, maybe not.

I put up my hand to halt his advancing form. "I went away Mike, to have some time to myself and think about things. Well, I thought about it. Everything. And I came to the conclusion,we were just not good for each other Mike. You didn't know me at all. Even _if _you had tried your hardest, somehow I don't think that you would ever have understood me." It was the truth. But then the truth is always hard to swallow.

"Have you found someone else?" His whole face questioned me. Of course he would think that!

I shook my head slowly. I had to keep my composure. I looked straight into his pale blue, slightly watery eyes and answered. "No, Mike. I haven't. I've decided to spend some time on my own. I'm not looking for anyone right now. I'm enjoying my freedom and personally I think you should do the same." Without any further delay I turned away from him and walked out of his door, closing it behind me.

As soon as I arrived back at my car, I took in a huge breath of fresh air. A wave of elation washed over me. I had done it. I had kept my head, without having to get all emotional and end up begging him to take me back as I probably would have done, if I hadn't have gone away. I smiled to myself. I had overcome the first hurdle.

Now it was time for the second hurdle and what would be the inevitable interrogation session, from Alice and Rose.

I got back into my car and headed for Alice's place.

Once I parked up I quickly checked my face and hair in the mirror, grabbed my purse and made my way up to Alice's apartment. Just as the lift doors opened, Alice opened her door and rushed out like a mini whirlwind to greet me. She literally flew into my arms. I was slightly overcome by the show of affection from her. I really didn't think that she would miss me so much.

Rose stood by the front door and looked on, smiling at us.

"My goodness, Alice! I only went away for two weeks!" I gasped as she seemed to squeeze the life out of me with her hugs.

"I know you did, Bella and it was thirteen days too long!" She exclaimed, grabbing my hand and dragging me into her living room.

Rose gave me a quick one armed hug as I was dragged passed her.

"Sit down, Bella." She ordered taking my jacket from me and pushing me onto the couch. "Rose, quick get the glasses out now and let's get that bottle of wine open." Was her next order. Both Rose and I knew that when Alice was in this kind of mood she was no to be triffled with. You simply just did as you were told.

Rose dutifully gathered up the glasses and the bottle of wine that were waiting in the kitchen and placed everything on the coffee table in front of me.

"So, come on. Tell us everything!" Alice demanded as she shared out the wine between the three glasses.

"Alice there really isn't very much to tell." I answered accepting a full glass from her and taking a much need mouthful of the cool liquid.

"What d'you mean! Not much to tell, indeed! I've never heard so much crap come from your mouth before." I rolled my eyes at her.

"Really, Alice there is nothing to tell." I insisted.

Alice turned to Rose and looked at her pointedly. "She's keeping something from us, isn't she, Rose?" Oh my God! Here we go!

Rose studied my face for a moment as she took a sip of her wine. "Alice, she may actually be telling the truth, you know." I nodded at her. She had got it in one. I was such a good liar.

"But." She then said, narrowing her eyes at me. "She does look rather...." She hesitated for a moment trying to find the right words. "She looks like she had a fucking good time." She finally said, earning her a high pitched squeal from Alice and an open mouthed gasp from me.

My two best friends were impossible! I went with the the definition of Rose's words that I had enjoyed myself.

I nodded at the two of them and took another sip from my glass. "I did have a good time, you two."

"Ooo I just knew it!" Alice gasped and clapped her hands together, excitedly.

I sat back in the couch and smiled at the two of them, as they in turn sat on the edge of the couch opposite me, studying my face intently. This was such fun.

"Sooo?" Rose asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

I smiled at her, innocently.

"So, what?" I answered. Alice huffed at me and Rose narrowed her eyes once again.

"I said that I had a good time and I did! There's nothing more to say other than, I went whale watching on Saturday."

Rose gave out a stiffled laugh, trying not to choke on the wine she had just swallowed. Alice turned to her and immediately patted her on the back to ease her distress.

"Oh well, if that's it then we may as well drink this and go out and get something to eat. Are you in, Bella?" Alice asked, sounding very defeated. I nodded in reply. I was getting rather hungry.

Finally I was able to turn the tables on them and asked about what they had been up to, while I was away. I listened with interest as we finished off the bottle of wine between us. They seemed to have had and unusually quiet time while I was away. Certainly compared to my two weeks, it seemed that they had both hit a dry spell!

Oh the delicate balance of the universe! I had finally been rewarded with my fair share.

We gathered our things and took the short walk down to one of our favourite eateries. A little Italian restaurant.

As we settled into a booth our server came over with a bottle of wine and three glasses.

"I'm sorry but we haven't ordered anything yet." Rose said, indignantly.

"Oh I know, this is from the gentlemen at the bar." He turned slightly and nodded over his shoulder at two men standing at the bar. I looked at Rose with raised eyebrows. She smiled at them as if she knew one of them. But knowing Rose, she knew both of them.

She quickly filled our glasses and raised her glass in their direction. They in turn raised their bottles of beer and nodded in her direction. Oh well, it seemed that maybe the delicate balance was not totally in my favour after all.

Alice couldn't hold back the question any longer. I was beginning to think that her tongue had suddenly decided to leave the restaurant without her. "Who are they, Rose? Where the hell did you meet them?" She asked, nudging Rose in the ribs.

"I meet them a few days ago when I came here for lunch with Kate. Their names are Peter and Garrett and..." She said, motioning for us to move in closer, with her index finger. "They're single." She whispered, winking at both Alice and me. I sat back my chair and smiled at her.

"They're all yours girls." I announced, taking a mouthful of my wine. It was beginning to feel the effects of the wine hitting me quite hard. I hadn't eaten nearly enough today and therefore did not have enough in my stomach to soak up this fresh batch of wine that was now hitting my stomach. As our server arrived with a basket of bread rolls I grabbed one and began to eat it, hungrily.

Rose and Alice ignorned my attack on the innocent bread roll and looked at me in disbelief.

"What the hell are you talking about! 'They're all yours girls'. Are you feeling alright?" Rose asked incredulously.

"Of course I'm alright, Rose." I retorted.

Alice reached up her hand to my forehead, pretending to check my temperature.

"You have a fever. That's the answer." She stated looking over at Rose. They both nodded at each other and looked over to me once again. This was becoming quite comical in the extreme.

"When was the last time you went to bed with a man?" She asked suspiciously. I had to think fast. I quickly took another bite out of my bread roll and chewed on it slowly but not too slowly to arouse suspicion, that I was stalling for time.

"You know the answer to that one Rose. When did I break up with Mike?" She nodded and mentally worked out the dates.

"Three weeks." She replied. I nodded.

"Yes, that's right. And I've decided that I'm going to take a break from all of that stuff and concentrate on doing things that I want to do and not what a guy dictates as interesting to do. Invariably it's not." I finished, draining my glass. They both looked at me dumbfounded. Finally peace!

Moments later our server came over with our order. I dived into the meal enthusiastically with my fork and began to feel a little better as the food began to make it's way down to my stomach.

Rose and Alice seemed to be caught up in their own conversation about the two men at the bar. The men were it seemed, waiting for us to finish our meal before they would approach.

Like clockwork, the minute our forks were laid to rest on our empty plates and the server cleared the table, they walked over. I inwardly sighed and busied myself with a glass of water. They were both reasonably tall. Both wearing suits, one grey the other a dark blue. The man wearing the grey suit had light brown, wavy hair that framed his face. His hazel eyes locked onto Rose immediately.

The dark blue suited man had short, lighter coloured hair with unusally dark blue eyes. His eyes were rather undecided. One moment he was looking at Alice and the next he was looking over in my direction.

"Hi, Garrett, Peter!" Rose nodded at the two of them. She obviously liked Garrett. She'd said his name first. The grey suited man responded to her and smiled widely. He obviously liked her. He was certainly her type; he had an athletic build under the suit. That was clearly evident.

They pulled up two vacant chairs and placed them at the end of the table, placing their bottles of beer on the table and looked at the three of us in turn.

Rose took charge of making the introductions. "Alice, Bella, this is Garrett and Peter." She used her hand to indicate each person as she shared our names. We all nodded politely to each other.

Peter gave me a lingering look out of the corner of his eye. I just wasn't interested. Alice on the other hand, was. With the uneven number around the table fairly obvious, it was time for me to go.

I put my hand to my mouth and yawned.

Peter was the first to speak up. "It seems that we're boring company, Garrett." He nudged his friend's elbow and looked pointedly over to me.

I shook my head at them. "I'm sorry. It's not that I'm bored. I just got back from holiday this afternoon and I think the whole day is catching up on me. I really think I should go."

"Oh, Bella!" Alice exclaimed, reaching across the table and gripping my forearm firmly. "You're not going anywhere. Rose and I were thinking of going to a club after this." She pleaded. Her eyes grew wide. A deer in headlights came to mind.

I really was tired and I certainly didn't want to be dragged half way across the city to a club. All I wanted right now was my bed. My lovely, comfy, soft and sumptuous bed.

I shook my head at her, more deliberately this time. "No, Alice. I really do want to go home." I stood from my chair. I was going to stick to my resolve. "I'll see you both for lunch on Monday." I leaned over to Alice and Rose and kissed them both on their cheeks and left my share of the bill in front of Rose. Garrett and Peter stood politely as I left the table.

I headed for the door and gave a small wave to them as I left. Once outside I took a deep, satisfying breath. I had managed to thwart Rose and Alice. I had got my way without hurting their feelings. I hadn't caved. If I had, it would have meant me being dragged to a club which would have made me feel rotten for the rest of the evening. All in all the evening had turned out pretty well.

I made my way back to my car at Alice's place and made the short drive home. Once there I quickly changed into Carlisle's t-shirt and flopped into my lovely, comfy, soft and sumptuous bed. I decided, as I drifted off to sleep that I would leave as early as possible in the morning and go and visit dad for the rest of the weekend.

It was time to catch up with him, before I went back to work on Monday.

**End of Chapter**

**Author's note;** That's all for now folks. She seemed to handle it all pretty well. But of course her first day back at work is fast approaching and that means that Jasper is more than likely going to have a smile on his face. In the meantime, you know what to do, to put a smile on my face and inspire me. Take care until next time.


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's note; **A big thank you to all who reviewed the previous chapter and have added this story to their Favourites/Story Alerts List. It was only recently pointed out to me that I have in fact managed to produce 13 chapters in one month. The realisation made me feel exhausted but I thank StormDragonfly for the acknowledgement. And here is chapter 14. I'm not sure what you will make of it. It took me a fews days to actually pull it all together and make sense, or maybe not. Hopefully the tension is still building by the time you get to the end of the page. We begin with Bella's latest entry in her journal. Enjoy. Oh yes and Jasper is now on the scene!

**Disclaimer;** I do not own Twilight but I know that this story does own me.

**Agony and Ecstasy**

Happy hearts and damage control

_My whole weekend turned out to be a complete success._

_I visited dad as planned. He was out fishing, as was usual on his weekends off. I sent him a message as soon as I arrived at the empty house, just to let him know that I was there and that I was going to cook. The usual adage; love goes through the stomach, certainly applied to most men especially my dad who hardly ever cooked for himself these days._

_I was taken aback when a few minutes later, as I was rifling through his freezer to find something that closely resembled food that would need to be cooked from stratch, he sent a message in return to say that he was eating out and would I please join him at the diner for five o'clock. I stood still for a moment with my hand suspended over a packet of steaks that would do for the meal._

_He had someone that he wanted me to meet. I inwardly groaned and shut the freezer door._

_The last time he suggested that, he had attempted to set me up on a blind date with one of the young single officers who had only recently started at Forks. Never again!_

_His name was Steve. I will never understand what his problem was. He seemed nice enough but he was hardly able to string a sentence together the whole time we sat in the diner. I really didn't think that I was that intimidating! The conversation was very one sided and I was relieved when an emergency call was sent out for all off duty officers to assist in a hunt for a missing child._

_Thank God the child was found unhurt a few hours later but the idea of having another date with Steve was well and truly out of the question. I told dad then, in no uncertain terms that organising blind dates was off limits, as far as he was concerned. So surely he hadn't forgotten already!_

_As it turned out, he had not._

_I arrived at the diner naturally apprehensive but was pleasantly surprised that _he _was the person with the date._

_When he greeted me, he was beaming. Beaming with pride and happiness. I only ever felt that level of emotion from him whenever I had achieved something or a major crime had been solved, such as they were in Forks._

_He introduced me to a lovely woman. His warm brown eyes smiled as he said her name. Sue._

_The whole time I greeted her I felt like pinching myself just to make sure that it was not a dream. Dad never dated. Since when did dad date?_

_He had obviously decided that he didn't like being on his own anymore. And why should he? He ceretainly wasn't old and as far as I was concerned, he was still very good looking. His dark brown wavy hair only sported a few grey hairs. Of course they never looked bad on an older man. It made them look distinguished and worldly wise. Rather like someone else I had recently met._

_The solitary soul that my dad was, had finally decided that he needed company._

_As Chief of Police in Forks, he was a very respected man not just for the position he held in the community but because he was honest, trustworthy and pretty likeable. He had spent all of his life in this town and knew everyone in it. He had over the years built up good relationships with all of the families that lived in the town and also knew many of those who only visited for the weekends. He kept a tight ship and dealt with any problem swiftly and efficiently. The Police Force was his life. It was one of the reasons why he stayed in Forks and didn't follow mom to Pheonix. He knew that he could never be happy there. It wasn't until I grew up that I realised how much he actually loved mom and yet needed to be himself. Because she was so unhappy, he let her go. It was an early lesson that I learned that letting someone go in order that they would be happy did not mean that you didn't love them. It actually showed how much you _did_ love them._

_He had known Sue for a long time, as it turned out. Some nine months ago she sadly became a widow._

_Dad used to go fishing with her husband Harry before he became too ill to leave the house. He had died of cancer that had not been detected early enough. Dad visited as often as he could to help around the house and be of as much help as he could in the final days of Harry's life. Then as the weeks went by after his death, dad and Sue found that they had built up quite a friendship that began to flourish over the following months. They were still at the ' getting to know each other stage' as dad put it but they were obviously very happy together. I watched them as they interacted with each other. They were as far as I was concerned, in love. It was almost palpable._

_So I left dad's place Sunday afternoon knowing that he was truly happy. No longer was his job the only thing he had in his life. He was now beginning to have a life outside of work._

_Yes, the weekend really had gone very well. _

As I stepped out of the lift and made my way to my office, I took the positive approach toward the day and hoped that my first day back would put a smile on my face.

Walking along the long corridor from the lift, I was amazed at how much I had missed the familiarity of work. This was where I felt the most confident and sure of what I was doing and what was expected of me. It was good to be back.

I was greeted by a mound of work in my in tray. Shit!

Standing for a moment glaring at it I thought that maybe today was not going to put a smile on my face after all. But first things first.

I hung up my grey jacket in the closet and smoothed down my blue blouse. Once I put my purse away in my desk I organised the coffee machine and switched it on. I then stood at my desk to inspect the in tray.

As I flicked through the pieces of paper I realised that none of it had been urgent over the two weeks that I had been away. Most of it needed filing or was for me to read and then be filed in the shreading machine. It wasn't so bad after all.

I brought my computer to life and checked on the schedule for the day. It was blank as far as_ I _was concerned but Jasper had a lunch time meeting with Marcus, one of the CEO's.

I frowned at the screen for a moment. There hadn't been any problems before I went away on holiday, so unless something had happened during my absence I really was none the wiser. I was sure that I was worrying over nothing. Jasper seeing the CEO didn't necessarily mean bad news. It could actually mean good news. Jasper had after all been head hunted to run this department and as far as everyone was concerned he was doing a good job. And I knew that Carlisle was in agreement.

Either way I was sure to find out some of the details when he arrived.

As the coffee machine gurgled and spluttered, indicating it had almost finished its task, I inhaled the aroma of freshly made coffee that seemed to somehow welcome me back and also broke me out of my thoughts.

With a fresh cup of coffee in my hand and the morning mail having just been delivered, I had about fifteen minutes before Jasper would arrive. Enough time to sort through the mail and organise the work folder for the day.

Not five minutes later he arrived.

I heard his voice first. He didn't sound his usual relaxed self.

"I asked you to finish that Friday, Tanya." He tone was harsh and surprisingly loud for Jasper. He sounded exasperated. I left the half opened mail and thought it better that I pour out a cup of coffee, ready to take into his office.

"You'd better give it all to Bella. At least then I 'll know that it's bein' dealt with properly." He really was pissed. Until now, Tanya hadn't let anyone down. I doubted now if she would ever volunteer to help out in future. She had only recently joined our department and wasn't the type of person to readily help out in urgent situations. She must have been the last resort.

"But Jasper I really didn't have enough time to finish it." She protested, her voice reaching new heights. A pang of guilt hit my stomach. Maybe I shouldn't have gone away after all. What the hell_ had _happened while I was away?

By this time they were standing just outside my door. I turned slowly. It had been a while since I had to deal with an angry boss. The thought of smiling at him when he arrived faded quickly. I would have to give him time to calm down before I asked any questions.

Jasper stepped into my office without replying to Tanya. I could tell by his stance that he was not in the mood to speak. He had said his peace. I mentally willed Tanya to keep her mouth shut. Thankfully she did.

As Jasper walked through to his office he glanced in my direction, making eye contact and nodded towards his office. My cue to follow. Tanya handed me the file without a word. Her face said it all. Her cheeks were flame red and her steely blue eyes were wide with annoyance. She gave me a tight smile, huffed and turned swiftly, her strawberry blonde shoulder length hair fanning out as she did so. I had no doubt in my mind that I would not be receiving a Christmas card from her this year!

Welcome back Bella! I had the feeling I had been missed but only as far as getting the work done was concerned. The peace and quite of the island was fast becoming my favourite place to escape too right now.

I placed the file on my desk and turned to take Jasper's coffee to him.

As I entered his office, his eyes were focused on his computer screen. I placed the cup on his desk and he gave a quick nod without taking his eyes off the screen. I hovered for a moment not sure if he wanted me to stay or leave. For some strange reason I felt suddenly nervous. I was never nervous around Jasper and certainly not when he was in a bad mood. He motioned with a flick of his hand for me to sit down.

A sudden sense of dread filled my already unsettled stomach.

I nervously smoothed out my black skirt as I sat and waited, trying to relax but at the same time prepare myself for whatever was about to hit the fan and be aimed I was sure, in my direction.

I glanced over to him for a moment. He took a few deep breaths and his face seemed to finally relax. He reached for his coffee and looked up at me, smiling. The smile reached his eyes. It was the smile that would normally greet me every morning. The smile that I had become accustomed too and would readily respond too.

"Thanks for this, Bella." He motioned with the cup slightly and took what seemed, a much needed mouthful. As he placed the cup down he sat back in his chair and inhaled deeply, raking his fingers through his hair. He stared at me for longer than usual, making me feel more nervous than before and I felt my cheeks flush.

"It's good to have you back, Bella. As you've noticed not everythin' went as smoothly as I had hoped in your absence." He took another mouthful of his coffee and I gave him an apologetic smile.

"You were very sorely missed, Bella." His bright blue eyes held mine captive, yet again. The all too familiar feeling of my attraction to him rose up again in my chest. The last time I had felt it was when? Of course how could I forget. The Friday he visited the island. My mind since then had been filled with thoughts of only one man. Somehow I thought that I would feel differently once I got back to work, that the connection I felt when he visited me on the island would somehow vanish. That it had been just a fleeting moment. Sitting here looking at Jasper and feeling this emotion for him once again took me by surprise.

"So, how was your holiday? Was it everythin' that you hoped it would be?" How the hell would I answer that? I quickly gathered my thoughts.

"It was just what I needed, Jasper. The island is really beautiful and before you ask, I did go whale watching." He sat back in his chair, a little further which helped me to relax somewhat. The guilty feeling in my stomach seemed to begin to dissipate.

"And I take it you enjoyed it?" He asked with a self satisfied grin on his face. I smiled back at him and nodded.

"Absolutely. They put on quite a show for us." I mirrored his stance and sat back in my chair a little more.

"I hope you don't mind, Bella but I've booked a dinner reservation for us this evenin'. Our chance to catch up. That _is_ alright with you I take it?" I nodded and he smiled.

"Good." He continued. "The usual place and the usual time." He leaned forward and looked at his computer screen again. "Right, as you have no doubt seen, I have an appointment with Marcus." His tone had switched immediately to business like and official. "He want's to discuss somethin' with me. I only got the phone call from his secretary Friday afternoon and by that time he had left the buildin', so I am none the wiser as to what it's about. Anyway, if you would finish off the report that Tanya seemed to have difficulty with, I would appreciate it." He looked at me with his expectant look of raised eyebrows and a small smile.

"Yes, of course. As yet there isn't too much for me to catch up with." I stood to leave, acutely aware of his eyes scanning my face as I did so. It was almost as if he wanted to say something else.

"Will that be all?" I asked as I reached the doorway and half turned to await his reply.

"Yes, Bella. Thank you." He hesitated slightly, breaking himself out of a distant look. "Would you close the door behind you please. I need to catch up on a few things as I won't be in the office over the lunch break." I nodded to him, quietly shut the door and set to work on the file that Tanya had left with me. It would certainly help me to refocus. I took a deep breath to finally settle my nerves and set to work.

The morning went by without too many interruptions and I managed to get the report finished. As it turned out I had to do the report all over again. None of it seemed to make sense. It was almost as if the file had been dropped and hurriedly put back together with the pages jumbled around. I decided that there would no point in saying anything to Jasper about it. Tanya was upset with him and visa versa. I took all the calls for Jasper, none of which were urgent. They would keep until after his lunch time meeting.

At a quarter to twelve Jasper emerged from his office, straightening his tie and putting his jacket back on. I noticed that the collar of his jacket was not laying straight.

"Jasper!" I called gently. He halted at my office door and half turned. I don't know why but without a word I stood from my desk and walked over to him. He watched intently as I approached him, a slightly puzzled look on his face.

I reached up to the crooked collar and flattened it out without saying a word. I swept my fingers across his shoulder as if there were fluff that needed to be removed. But there was none. We both realised how close we were standing to each other. As he looked down at me I felt his breath fan my face and his scent swirl around my head. He shut his eyes for the briefest of moments. An overwhelming sense of deja vu hit me. We had stood this close in the cabin. Then it was _his _gesture that had made _me_ stop in my tracks. Somehow this felt like my answer to him. More than a week later I was replying. I slowly lifted my hand from his shoulder and nervously tucked a non existent strand of hair behind my ear, almost as if that was what I intened to do in the first place.

As he opened his eyes and looked at me in a way that I could not comprehend, I took a step back and reacted in the only way I knew how in the situation. I spoke to break the silence.

"You had better go or you'll be late. It's a long ride in the lift." He gave me a small nod, turned and left my office. I watched as he walked the length of the main corridor until he reached the lift doors. As he pressed the call button, he turned knowing that I was standing there, watching him. He smiled at me and then entered the lift. I shut my eyes as the doors closed on him.

What the hell just happened? What was I thinking? Actually, no. I wasn't thinking. And therein lay the problem. I had always thought about every action and every word said until recently. Now I was finding myself reacting to him without thinking about it.

Very dangerous, Bella! I chided myself. Good God girl, he's your boss! You're putting yourself in the same position as you were when you were on the island. What the hell are you doing?! Idiot!

I felt the overwhelming need to leave. I gathered up the finished report and put it quickly on Jasper's desk for his approval, grabbed my purse and jacket and made my way out of the building. I needed fresh air, in large doses!

I walked to the cafe where I always met Rose and Alice forlunch. They were already there and had preempted my choice by ordering me a salmon pasta salad. Perfect! Anything heavier and I think I may have thrown up. My stomach was in complete knots.

With the customary greetings out of the way, we sat and launched into our food.

"So, how has today been,Bella?" Rose asked, taking a sip of her water. She was probably still detoxing from the weekend.

"Well, Jasper hasn't been too happy this morning. Tanya messed up a report while I was away and he's had to attend an important meeting this lunch time." I informed them both. They did their usual double act and looked at each other with surprised faces.

Alice looked over to me, a little taken aback. "What, he's gone to a meeting without you?" I nodded.

"Yes, Alice. It's seems that it's more of a private and personal meeting so therefore nothing to do with me." I replied. I was as much in the dark as anyone but for some reason that unsettled feeling was still sitting in my stomach. I needed a distraction.

So I shared with them how much I enjoyed my weekend and the good news about my dad.

"Oh my God, Bella?! As old as I am I still get freaked out by the thought of my parents getting intimate with each other!" She gave a small shudder which Rose grinned at and I simply smiled at the memory of how happy dad looked.

"I don't think they've quite reached that stage yet, Alice. And even if they have, why not? They seem to make each other happy. I think they might actually be in love but not know it yet." We all looked at each other and sighed a breathy sigh, at the same time. We were romantics at heart. Even Rose with her no nonsense approach to relationships, craved romantic moments. My mind filled with flashbacks of moments in Carlisle's cabin.

Changing the subject quickly, I looked at them both pointedly. "So how did Friday evening go?" Alice giggled and Rose looked at her, disapprovingly.

"We had a great time, Bella." Alice chimed, taking another bite of her salad. "You really should have come with us. Peter really is great company. Very attentive." I rolled my eyes at her.

"And I was very much the fifth wheel, Alice." I added quickly. Alice just shrugged her shoulders.

"I get the feeling he's not averse to three in a bed myself." I coughed, nearly choking on a piece of pasta. Alice had said it in such a matter of fact way, I could hardly believe her. Sometimes she surprised even Rose.

Rose smiled trying to camouflage her shock at Alice's words.

"Bella would not have agreed to that anyway, Alice! Bella isn't like that, are you sweetheart?" She said, looking over to me and giving me a reassuring smile. She recovered well and had dutifully sprung to my defense. I smiled back at her in thanks.

"Well, it has been three weeks, hasn't it?" Alice looked at me with narrowed eyes.

It took me a fraction too long to process what on earth she was talking about. I felt the hint of a blush rise to my cheeks. Damn my blushing cheeks! They always gave me away. I had managed so well on Friday too.

"I thought so." She said, stuffing the last of her chicken salad in her sweet little mouth. She shook her head slowly from side to side as if disappointed in me.

"You thought what, Alice? What are you talking about now?" I wasn't sure if was protesting too much or not enough. I had never been in this situation before.

"All I can say, Bella is as long as you enjoyed your _fucking_ good time on the island, then that's good enough for me." I quickly ate the last mouthful of my pasta salad and finished my iced tea. The damage was already done. I just kept my mouth shut.

It was Rose's turn to narrow her eyes at me. "When Alice came up with that notion, I told her that it was nonsense. I don't suppose you're going to share are you?" She added extra pressure on me by pouting her perfectly made up red lips.

I shook my head in the negative. No I would not be sharing the details of that liaison. Ever!

I could feel their eyes on me as I looked around the cafe trying desparately to look disinterested. They took the hint. Nothing more was said on the subject. For that I was thankful. We had known each other for long enough now that we knew how far we could push a subject and each other for that matter. This was one of those times when backing down was essential to the well being of our friendship.

Before we parted Rose said that they were organising to meet with Garrett and Peter again for drinks one evening. They wanted me to join them.

"Let me know what you arrange and I'll say whether or not I can join you, okay?" Just for a change Alice kept quiet.

"There was a time, Bella," Rose began as she hugged me goodbye. "When you would always come out with us no matter what. It seems to me that you have learnt to say no somehow, since you went away." She held me at arms length making me feel like I was under one of her make up inspections.

"Maybe I have, Rose. That's not a bad thing is it?" I smiled at her weakly.

She tilted her head slightly and looked at me again. "No, Bella it's not a bad thing at all. I think in your case, it's about fucking time." Yes, Rose always had a way with words. I appreciated her approval of me. Somehow it gave me the boost I needed to tackle the rest of the day.

When I returned to my office I was rather surprised that Jasper was still out. I busied my mind checking e-mails and organising the phone messages in order of importance.

It was another half an hour before Jasper returned to the office. He glanced over to me as he walked through to his office and shut the door behind him.

I plopped down in my chair, perplexed. In all of the three and a half years I had worked for him he had never shut the door between us. He had always, when it was deemed necessary, requested that I shut the door.

I registered my stomach churning again. The heavy emotion of dread and fear. I hadn't been able to take in the look on his face fully, as he walked through the office.

There certainly wasn't anger or urgency in his walk. The whole time while he was at the meeting I was cnvinced that the news would be good. Anything else would not have made sense.

I was beginning to get a headache. I poured myself a cup of water and sat down again just as his door opened. He walked over to my desk silently and placed the report in front of me.

"That's fine, Bella. As always." His tone was gentle and yet there was somehow an underlying edge to it.

"I have a few things to do out of the office. I probably won't be back by the end of the day. Can you please see to everythin' and I'll catch up with anythin' that needs my attention in the mornin'." I nodded to him. I wanted to say something but just couldn't find the right words. It was probably better that I stayed silent at that moment in time.

He moved one step closer to where I was sitting. I looked up at him still not able to figure out the look on his face. Sadness, disappointment? He reached down to me and ran the back of his fingers down my left cheek. There was that feeling again. The sensation that I had felt when he touched me before. My heart sped up and my cheeks flushed under his touch.

He exhaled deeply. It was almost tangible; I could feel the weight of it fill me. What on earth had happened in the meeting that had given him such a heavy heart?

He moved his fingers away from my face as he spoke. "Our dinner arrangements still stand, Bella. We'll talk later." In his next breath he stepped away from me and headed towards the lift. I stood to watch him. He didn't look back.

I couldn't decide if I was looking forward to our 'catch up' date or not. As I turned my attention back to the work in hand, of one thing I was sure. I would face whatever he had to tell me without trepidation.

**End of Chapter **

**Author's note; **So, what do you think? I just had to leave the chapter there. Their dinner date will be the next chapter. I promise not to leave you in suspense any longer than necessary. It would be great to read what you think is going on in a review. As it stands anything is possible. Take care until next time.


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's note; **Many thanks for the reviews of the previous chapter and to all of you who have added this story to your Faviourites/Story Alerts Lists since the previous chapter. This chapter is all about their catch up dinner date and what happens after. It consists of both Bella and Jasper's POVs. Enjoy! Oh yes, we also have a lemon!

**Disclaimer; **I maynot own Twilight but I thought of this story.

**Agony and Ecstasy**

Honest declarations

**BellaPOV**

I took my time getting ready this evening. Jasper and I always met up at seven thirty. I had already organised a cab to get me there. Jasper always drove me home. It's been the same arrrangement for the last three years since we moved to Seattle with the company. Before that, it was a similar arrangement in Phoenix. He was a creature of habit and not usually spontaneous. I could certainly relate to that. As I dressed I couldn't help feel that maybe this evening we would do things differently.

Certainly the realisation of how drawn we were to each other could no longer be ignored.

Ever since I started working for him, he was always able to make me stop and stare. I will admit that in recent months, even though I was with Mike, I often thought about how different things would be if I were not Jasper's secretary and we actually dated. I remember one night I was in bed with Mike and he was busy doing the usual, my mind wandered to what it would be like to have Jasper laying on top of me, feeling his body against mine. I must admit it was one of the few times that I didn't need to fake an orgasm for Mike. He was very easily fooled by how amazing he was in bed. With Mike, I had begun to become quite a cold hearted bitch as far as the bedroom was concerned.

Thank God that had all changed when I met Carlisle. I think I can happily say that fakes were no longer a part of my repertoire.

Occassionaly during the working week, Jasper would catch me unawares with his warm smile or a certain look. I think I now realised what that look was all about. I felt sure that I hadn't misread the signals. Certainly not the signal that seemed to be loud and clear when he touched me at the cabin. It was a completely innocent touch, in fact he hardly touched me and yet I felt the connection. I didn't have enough time to take it all on board at the time. It was as if Carlisle's arrival was a rescue from the situation. I could tell immediately that Carlisle wasn't happy about Jasper's gentle gesture. I think if he hadn't turned up I would have found it very hard to reject Jasper and of course give him a valid explanation as to why.

I was at the time emotionally and physically involved with Carlisle. But now I'm back in Seattle, everything is different. The way he touched me again today, looked at me and spoke to me, I couldn't help myself but respond. All I've done today is think about him and worry about him. I think that if we didn't have this catch up date tonight, I would just go insane wondering what had happened at the meeting today. His face displayed such a mixture of emotions I was unable to decipher what he was trying to tell me without words.

It was as if something really fantastic had been offered to him, something that he had always wanted and yet it meant losing something in the process. I just couldn't figure it all out.

But he said that he would explain it all to me over dinner.

I decided to wear something a little more dressy than the usual skirt and blouse. Somehow this evening _was_ going to be different. I opted for my black cocktail dress and a pair of black ankle strap Pedro Garcia shoes. They certainly added a few inches to my height. But apart from that they were the pair of shoes that made me feel at my most confident. I left my hair down after I dried it, leaving it to fall in soft waves. I put on my black bolero jacket that matched perfectly with the dress and grabbed my purse.

Just a few minutes later I was getting into the cab.

As I entered the restaurant I quickly scanned the room. At first I couldn't see him. I felt slightly panicked. I was approached by the owner of the resturant, Marco, who had become quite used to seeing me once a month over the years.

"Miss Swan! It is so good to see you again. I must say that you are looking particularly beautiful this evening." He greeted me and smiled broadly.

"Thank you Marco. You are too kind. Has Mr Whitlock arrived?" He nodded to my question. I frowned a little still unable to see Jasper.

"Yes he has. He requested a different table this evening Miss Swan. Let me show you to your table." He gestured kindly with his hand and walked slightly ahead of me.

I followed Marco through the restaurant walking straight passed our usual table. And there just a few tables further at the back of the restaurant was Jasper. When I saw him he seemed to be deep in thought. Marco approached the table quickly and announced my arrival, breaking Jasper out of his daydream. He looked up to greet me.

At first he didn't say anything. Butterflies began to invade my stomach. Maybe this was all a mistake. I stood still for a moment a few feet away from the table trying to decide what I should do. Stay or go. And then the decision was made without a word spoken.

Jasper slowly rose from his chair, his blue eyes fixed on mine. He stepped around the table and pulled out my chair for me. I smiled my thanks and sat down, slipping my jacket from my shoulders. Marco reached for the jacket and smiled knowingly at me.

"I shall hang this up for you Miss Swan and I shall get the menus." He said gently. And then looking over to Jasper he asked, "Is the wine to your satisfaction Mr Whitlock?" By this time, Jasper was seated again.

"Yes, thank you, Marco. It's fine." He replied not taking his eyes away from my face. To my surprise I wasn't blushing. His stunned reaction to me, meant that my inner confidence was at it's peak.

"You look amazin', Bella." He breathed. I gave him a small smile and reached for my napkin, laying it out across my lap as he carefully filled my glass.

"We're not sitting in our usual place." I stated, keeping my voice steady.

"I wanted to have a table that was a little more private, Bella. We have so much to talk about. I hardly know where to begin." He mused, taking a sip of his wine.

"Would you please start with the meeting you had today. It seems that that has had an affect on you to a large degree." I took a sip of my wine looking at him over the rim of my glass. He seemed quite relaxed compared to ealier in the day.

"It did affect me at first. But now that I've had some time to think and work out what I can do, it's doesn't seem so bad. Lets order first shall we?" I nodded. It seemed that there was very little that I needed to fear. The butterflies in my stomach had now gone. He seemed very relaxed and at ease which in turn helped me to keep focused.

With our food order placed, Jasper refilled our glasses and took a mouthful of wine before he began to speak.

"Marcus gave me good news but the result, in my opinion, means that it is a double edge sword." I shut my eyes for a moment at his words. It seemed that my guess was pretty close to the truth. I inhaled deeply and prepared myself for the next portion of information.

"Apparently it's been decided that I have more than impressed the CEO's and of course Mr Cullen. I've been offered the position of managin' one of the satellite companies." He gave me a small smile as if gauging my reaction to the news.

"Oh." Was all could manage to whisper. My stomach suddenly lurched. The weight of Carlisle's power over his employees was suddenly very real again. Had Carlisle organised this before or after Jasper's visit to the island? I wanted to think that it was before. That Carlisle had already had this idea in the pipeline for some time because after all Jasper had been head hunted. Jasper was 'aquisitioned' for this company because of his business prowess.

So why did I think that this promotion had only come about since my return to Seattle. I could feel my head begin to spin with questions that would go unanswered. For now.

**Jasper POV**

Her face suddenly lost it's smile and I noticed that she fiddled nervously with her napkin. I was sure that I understood how she felt. I felt exactly the same way when I was told of the plan for my promotion. Initially my heart sank and I had to maintain my composure while I absorbed the information. It took me the rest of the day to fully understand what this meant for me personally. On the one hand it was the best news I had been given since I moved from Mexico. But on the other hand it mean making a sacrifice.

It was important that I put Bella's mind at rest and explain to her what I had planned. But I needed to gauge her reaction to everything I had to say.

"I'll be takin' up the new position at the end of the week." I looked over to her, searching her face for her immediate reaction.

"The end of the week? Why so soon?" Her voice waivered slightly. Inwardly I sighed. I could tell that she was trying to hold back her emotions.

"They've been havin' a few problems with the current Manager and they want me to step in as soon as possible and sort the mess out." I explained.

"By the sounds of it, I'm not included in this move." Bella never missed a single word of importance.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I did ask for you to come with me. I put forward the case that we had worked well together since I began workin' for the company but the answer was no. They want you to stay where you are, so that you can be of help to my replacement." I felt awful having to tell her the truth but there was no other way around the situation.

"But you will still be based in Seattle, won't you?" She looked up at me, her face full of hope. I was thankful that I could allay her fears.

"Yes, Bella. Everything is here in Seattle now. Mr Cullen has made sure of that." She nooded in understanding but then she looked down again at her hands. I really didn't think that she would be so affected by this news. My heart swelled. I was now sure that I could continue to explain my plan.

"I don't know if I can work for someone else. I don't know if I even want to." She said quietly. I wanted her to look up. I wanted to see her face. I didn't want her to be sad anymore.

"I don't want to lose you, Bella." I said quietly. Slowly she lifted her gaze to me again. My heart began to pound in my chest. All I needed was to be sure of her feelings toward me.

"You'll only be losing me as your secretary." And there it was. I was sure that I could do this.

"Are you sayin' what I hope you're sayin', Bella?" I needed confirmation.

"We've never talked about this before. This is all new to us. I really don't know what to think." It seemed that her mind was in just as much termoil as mine.

"Bella, I need to explain something to you?" She nodded. I needed her to know how I felt about her. Now had to be the right time. This was not the time to over think was the time to be spontaneous and salvage what we could from the situation we were in.

I cursed internally as the food was served and gave Marco my best smile. I didn't want to lose the momentum right now.

"From the first day I saw you, Bella I could hardly believe how lucky I was to be workin' with you. You have supported me through everythin'. Not only did you make things easier for me when I moved from Mexico but also when we moved here to Seattle." I felt as though I was rambling. I took in a large breath and continued determined to keep my resolve.

At that moment it was a blessing that she knew me well enough to not interrupt me while I was trying desperately unscramble my thoughts and explain myself.

"Bella, the only reason I have never asked you for anythin' more than the friendship we have, is because I _am_ your boss. I can't tell you how difficult it's been for me to see you everyday and not be able to tell you how I really feel. When you broke up with Mike I was so happy and relieved. I could see how unhappy you were. When you asked me permission to go on holiday I was very tempted to say no. I didn't want to let you go. But then that would have been so selfish of me. You needed to get away and I needed to have some time to think about what I was goin' to do about our situation." She looked up at me and began to smile. I was sure that she was able to understand what I was saying even if it seemed so haphazard to me.

"And what did you decide?" She whispered. I leaned forward in my chair and reached for her hand that was resting on the table close to her glass. As I took her hand in mine I could feel the spark between us again. I had felt it before on the island. And now, here is was again. It was as if something in me had come alive.

"I've decided, Bella that I can now take advantage of the situation that I will no longer be your boss. It took me all afternoon to get over the shock that I won't be seein' you everyday, ever again. But it doesn't have to be that way. Bella, I feel very strongly about you. As far as I'm concerned I don't have to stay away from you anymore. There will be nothin' stoppin' us from seeing each other after work, at the weekends or any other time that we want too. Bella, I want to spend as much time with you as you want me too. Bella, I need to know how you feel about this." There was silence between us for a moment. As much as I wanted her to reply straight away, I wanted her to give me an honest reply and hoped that it would be the one that would make my heart soar.

She seemed to take a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment. My stomach churned for fear of what her answer would be. And then she spoke.

"When I saw you on the island I wasn't sure what was happening between us. I have always liked you more than just as a boss, Jasper. Until now I knew it couldn't be anymore than a professional relationship. As much as I will miss you and miss working with you it doesn't mean that we can't be together. You're right. Your promotion actually means that we can spend time together and more than anything else, that's exactly what I want to do." I could hardly believe my ears. I didn't think that I would hear Bella say anything close to what I had been hoping. And this was exactly what I had been hoping for.

For a time we just sat and smiled at each other. It was the perfect time for both of us to just take stock and absorb the honesty of how we felt about each other. Three and a half years ago I thought this day would never be possible. Just being able to hold her hand like this. I couldn't stop smiling.

"The food is getting cold." Her statement snapped me out of my stupor. My beautiful, practical Bella. We both focused our attention on the plates before us. As we ate our meal my mind began to wander to thoughts of how this evening would end. I would always drive her back to her place. I could probably do the journey blind folded by now. But I had never done any more than walk her to the lobby door. Would she allow more than that tonight?

**BellaPOV**

I couldn't fool myself any longer as to how I felt about him. We had been skirting around each other for far too long. Knowing now exactly how we felt about each other it seemed ridiculous to drag this out. I wanted him and from what he had said and the look in his eyes, he wanted me too. He was too much of a gentleman to even bring the matter up.

Could I do this? Of course I could. I mentally chided myself. Surely this is what the new Bella was all about. Decisive and confident. So act on it Bella!

"I think we should go, Jasper." He looked over to me and smiled.

"Of course, Bella." His reply was simple and uncomplicated. He reached for his wallet and left the money on the table. As we stood from the table, Marco was suddenly there with my jacket.

"I hope everything was to your liking?" He asked us. We both nodded and Jasper spoke.

"Thank you Marco. We shall be seeing you very soon, I hope." He took the jacket from Marco and stood behind me to slip the jacket over my shoulders. He rested his hands on my shoulders. I could feel the warmth from his hands radiate through the material. He leaned down towards my ear, his breath fanning against my flesh.

"Let's get you home." He whispered. My stomach flipped and the my internal coil that had lay dormant for the last few days suddenly began to tighten. As we turned to leave, I welcomed the fact that he trailed his hand down from my shoulder, along the length of my back, until it came to reat at the small of my back. A trail of goosebumps errupted in its wake.

During the journey home I looked over to him seeing him finally in a new light. We had declared our feelings for each other. There were no obstacles in our way now. I wasn't even bothered now that we wouldn't be working together anymore. We could and would be together no matter what. I wasn't willing to let the evening end at the lobby door.

As Jasper parked the car, I waited for him to open my door. He held his hand out for me to take and I did so willingly. All I wanted to do now was touch him. It seemed like the flood gates had finally been allowed to open and in rushed all the emotions that had been held back over the years. I didn't let go of his hand as he locked up the car.

"Please don't leave me tonight, Jasper." I said quietly as I looked up at him, his smile was confirmation enough. We walked over to the lobby door and I opened it. My heart lept as I led him up the stairs to the first floor. I quickly found my keys, opened the door and led him inside. There was enough light flooding in from the streetlights that I could safely make my way across the room and turn on a table lamp. I placed my purse and keys down on the low table next to me. I felt his hands slip the jacket from my shoulders and then gently wrap around my waist. As I leaned back against his chest I closed my eyes relishing the fact that we could now just _be_ together.

I turned to face him and snaked my arms around his neck. He smelt so good and felt so good.

"This feels so right, Bella. I always knew it would." He whispered. He leaned in to me and placed a soft kiss on my cheek and pulled me closer to his body. I could feel his need for me building.

I turned my head slightly to greet his lips with mine. Our mouths moulded together perfectly, moving gently and lovingly. He nipped at my bottom lip and I instinctively opened my mouth and welcomed him in. As our tongues met all the sensations in my body seemed to intensify a hundred fold. My internal muscles clenched and I could feel my arousal pool in my panties.

I slipped the jacket from his body and loosened his tie. As I lost myself in the kiss I could feel my fingers deftly undoing the buttons of his shirt all the way down to his waistband. I trailed my fingers down his torso, feeling how warm and inviting he was to me. I lifted the shirt out of the waistband and undid the last two buttons. His hands in turn came up to the the top of my dress, resting at the zip.

I moaned into his mouth. I so needed him to take me. I wanted him to make me his. As the zip came undone he pulled the straps of the dress over my shoulders and let the dress pool at my heels. I inhaled deeply as our kiss continued, relieved that he had received the message loud and clear.

I fumbled slightly with his belt, button and zip of he pants. I couldn't let my nerves get the better of me now. From out of nowhere Carlisle's words filtered through my mind as I pushed Jasper's pants down his legs.

'Promise me one thing, Bella. When you go back to Seattle, please make the right choice, Bella. Anything that you have to make an important decision about. Please take your time and make sure it is the right one, that it's what you really want.'

I paused for a split second breaking away from Jasper's mouth and looked up at him.

As I thought about Carlisle's words I sighed deeply and took Jasper by the hand. We carefully stepped out of the clothes pooled at our feet and I led him to the bedroom.

Yes, I was sure about this. I really did want this. I wanted Jasper.

Jasper watched intently as I backed myself onto the bed, holding out my hand to him. As he knelt on the end of the bed he reached for my shoes, carefully undoing the clasp as each ankle and letting the shoes drop to the floor. He trailed his hands along my legs from the ankles up. He smiled feeling my flesh react to his touch. I now had goosebumps in places that he hadn't even reached yet. My breathing deepened as he made his way slowly up my body, caressing my skin and drinking in my reactions.

"God you are beautiful, Bella. So damn perfect." I closed my eyes as he spoke. His tone was husky and full of lust. And then his mouth was on mine again as I sank into the pillows. My fingers entwined into his hair and I fisted it to pull him closer to me. As I felt his erection press against my stomach I tugged at his body and rolled us both over.

As I stradled him he reached around my chest and undid my bra, slipping it gently from my body. He looked at me longingly and palmed my breasts, running his thumbs over my already erect nipples.

I tucked my fingers into the waistband of his boxer shorts and pulled them down releasing him from their confines.

"You're perfect too, Jasper." I whispered as I licked my lips at the sight of him. I wriggled a little lower down his thighs. He moaned as his hands lost connection with me and I smiled to myself sure in the knowledge that he would be moaning for a different reason entirely in a moment.

I lowered my head and licked the tip of him with my tongue. His breath caught and he reached his fingers into my hair as I swirled my tongue around him and tasted him. I could not be any more sure about this than I was right then. As I gently enclosed my mouth around him he groaned and fisted my hair. As I began to lick and suck and drag my teeth along his length he bucked his hips up to me slightly. I held his hips still as I enclosed my mouth around him again.

"Oh God, Bella you are too good at this. You're gonna have to stop in a minute." I understood exactly what he meant. I could feel him pulsating madly in my mouth. As I disconnected my mouth from his very sensitive and hard cock, he reached down to the hem of my panties and slipped them down. I quickly took them off and wriggled forward again, along his thighs. He watched as I stopped just just in front of his cock and leaned forward placing my hands either side of him, to hover over him. My hair fell either side of our heads shutting out the rest of the world.

"I want you to touch me, Jasper. Please." No sooner had my request left my lips and his fingers gently grazed at my entrance.

"Your so wet, Bella." He whispered as he slowly pushed two fingers into me. I shut my eyes at the sensation. My body was already so aroused that I almost came immediately. My walls clamped down on his fingers as they pushed further into me reaching that delicious spot I ached for him to ignite. As the orgasm spread through my body I moved slowly backwards and forwards enjoying the sensation of the release.

"Shit, Bella. If my fingers can do that to you, what reaction am I gonna get when I'm inside you?" He said gently cupping my face with his free hand.

As I regained some control over my brain I opened my eyes to find him smiling at me, lovingly.

"You'd better get yourself under wraps and see what happens then." I challenged. He quickly removed his fingers from me and rolled us both over, sheading his boxers.

I reached into my nightstand and pulled out a packet for him. In no time he was encased and hovering over me. I smiled at him, his eagerness was so endearing. As I cupped his face and pulled his face to mine for another kiss I parted my legs a little more,bending them at the knee. He was perfectly positioned and entered me at the same time as our tongues met.

My internal walls greeted him warmly, pulsating around him and adjusting to his length. I shut my eyes tight as the next wave of an orgasm surged along my body. I moaned into his mouth, holding his face firmly in my grasp. As he began to set his pace our tongues danced in time.

The connection was instantaneous as I always knew it would be. He fitted perfectly and my body repsonded to him as if on auto pilot. As our mouths disconnected so that he could increase his thrusts, I fisted the pillow either side of my head, digging my nails into the cotton fabric. He reached down time and time again, kissing and licking my flesh. Sucking and nipping at my breasts and swirling his tongue around my hardened nipples, tugging at them with his teeth. My mind was filled with him. His smell, his taste, his touch, his words and his moans.

"Oh fuck, Bella! I'm so close. I don't want this to end." He moaned, his flesh flushed a delicate shade of pink.

"Oh Jasper, this won't be the last time." I breathed and then I whispered. "I promise." As the words fell from my lips our orgasms completely enveloped us. As I reached my high I watched his face as he shut his eyes tightly giving in to the ecstasy that coursed through him. He was beautiful to watch. When his pace began to slow, he suddered slightly and I took that as a signal to hold him close to me.

He sank down slowly into my waiting arms. I wrapped them tightly around his shoulders as he nuzzled and kissed my neck. I stroked his his back feeling the sheen of sweat and his muscles finally relaxing. I kissed his shoulder relishing the warmth of his flesh against mine. My head was still buzzing and trying to catch up with all the sensations rushing around in my body.

We lay still in each other's arms for a while, our breathing returning to normal and our heartbeats easing.

"I need a drink." I whispered. "Would you like something too?" I smiled as he nodded his head into the crook of my neck. He reluctantly rolled away from me, onto his back and lay there very still with his eyes closed. As I got up, I reached over to him and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. He gave a small satisfied smile.

I made a pit stop at the bathroom and returned a few minutes later from the kitchen with two bottles of water. As I crawled back onto the bed I noticed that he had also gone to the bathroom and disposed of the condom. I felt so relaxed with him that I didn't even feel the need to pull the comforter over me. I handed him a bottle and we both had a long drink. As we placed the bottles down on the nightstands, he opened his arms out to me. I wriggled closer to him and snuggled into his side. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and kissed the top of my head, lovingly.

"You do realise, Bella now that I have you, I'm not goin' to let go?" I looked up to him from under my lashes and smiled.

"I'm glad, Jasper. I'm looking forward to getting to know you better. You will stay for breakfast won't you?" He smiled and chuckled at me.

"Did you really think that I was goin' to sleep with you and then leave the minute you _fell_ asleep?" I chuckled back at him.

"Maybe if it had been a disaster." I retorted, pushing gently against his shoulder.

"That could never happen, Bella. I knew that you wouldn't be that. Bella you are perfect, believe me. I always knew that you would be." I reached up and kissed his mouth.

I shivered slightly and he immediately pulled the comforter over us, tucking it around our bodies forming a cocoon. I snuggled back into his chest as he trailed his fingers through the length of my hair.

"I'm lookin' forward to breakfast. Do you think you might be on the menu too?" He whispered.

"Umm," I replied sleepily. "I'm very sure that can be arranged." He tightened his grip around my shoulders and nuzzled my hair.

As we basked in the contentment of each other I drifted off to sleep, feeling his lips pressed against my forehead.

**End of Chapter**

**Author's note; **So, finally they are together! It will be interesting to see what happens next. In the meantime let me know what you think by pressing the green button. Take care until next time.


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's note; **Many thanks for all of the lovely reviews for the previous chapter. Thank you also to those of you who have this week added this story to your Favourites/Story Alerts Lists and to those of you who have added me to your Favourite Author's List. I thank you also, from the bottom of my heart for voting for The Irresistible Ms Swan in the recent UNFmett contest and honouring it with the number one spot. You are all amazing!

So on with this little story. It is the morning after the night before (please do refresh your memories if you feel the need). Here we have Jasper's POV. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer;** I do not own Twilight but I thought of this story and I'm going to see NewMoon!

**Agony and Ecstasy**

Perfectly matched

**JasperPOV**

I woke up the next morning still trying to comprehend what had happened between us. As I rolled over and saw her still, soundly sleeping form next to me, her hair fanned out over the pillow and across her beautiful face I couldn't resist carefully wrapping my arm around her to hold her close to me. She snuggled into me. At first I thought I'd woken her up but as I listened to her breathing I could tell that she was still fast asleep. I smiled to myself that she had gravitated toward me in such an unconscious way. Things could not be any better than at that moment.

I'd had the best nights sleep for quite a while, infact from what I could remember the last time I slept well was before Bella had gone away on holiday. The whole time she was away I couldn't settle at night. I missed her too much. Basically I fretted over her like some young puppy waiting for it's owner to come home from work after a long day of attention deprivation.

I still remembered the feeling that hit my stomach as she stood the other side of my desk requesting two weeks off. Two weeks away from the office. Two weeks away from me.

I was, as I had explained to her last night, in two minds whether or not to let her go. On the one hand how could I deny her the break she had obviously earned. She had only had the occasional day off, once for a heavy cold and another time she needed an extra day in order to spend more time with her mother who had been taken last proper holiday she had was a whole year ago.

I literally sat in that chair aware of the power that I had in being able to simply say no.

But how could I deny her? I had known for a fact that she had only recently broken up with her douche of a boyfriend. The guy was a complete fucking moron. What she ever saw in him I really couldn't begin to fathom. Bella of all people needed to have a break. Needed to get away from the idiot before he convinced her to get back with him. I had heard him ring a few times the week after they had parted. From her tone, by the third phone call, she seemed to be weakening.

As she stood in front of me she had this strange look of determination on her face. It was as if she were challenging me. And in a sense I was right in thinking that she had. It must have been my hesitation that had made her so determined. She wanted the holiday and we had come to know each other well enough over the last few years to be able to read the slightest inflection in our tone, the slightest change in our expressions to be able to understand what we were inferring. It felt as though if I had said no to her she would have walked out of that office and not returned. I couldn't take the chance that she would do that. I would have been lost without her if that was what she had intended.

So it was for those reasons that I decided to let her have the time off. It would mean that she was safely out of his reach and would get the break she so deserved and come back to work and in a sense back to me, revived and refreshed.

And so my tortuous two weeks without Bella began.

When I recieved the phone call from Marcus that I was to take some important paperwork over to Orcas Island for a Mr Cullen to sign, I could hardly believe my luck. Bella was there and somehow I was going to make sure that I saw her while I was visiting the island. I barely took on board the significance of this Mr Cullen. Marcus explained the he was the owner of all of the interconnected companies that were based in Seattle. It was explained to me that he was a very private person and therefore kept himself physically removed from Seattle but was nonetheless very much in charge. The mixture of meeting this enigma that headed this successful company and finally seeing Bella for the first time in a week, was almost too much for me to bear. As soon as I had the envelope in my eager hands, I was over to the island in a shot. I was quite taken aback that Mr Cullen was the person who would meet me from the ferry boat. I don't really know what I expected when I met him. He was unassuming to look at but his handshake and voice was completely that of the man in charge. I still remember the first words that he said to me.

"Mr Whitlock, it's good to finally meet you." I was for a moment surprised that he had even heard of me but then again he was ultimately the man in charge. We made small talk in the car on the way to his cabin and it wasn't until I realised where it was we were destined for that the joy inside me began to bubble. What were the chances that Bella was staying in the cabin next to Mr Cullen's?

It seemed that everything was falling into place. I saw this visit as my opportunity to show her how much she meant to me. Away from the office, Seattle and constrictions of working together, it was my chance. I had reached the point in our relationship, such as it was that I found it hard to go a day without seeing her. But unfortunately our time was cut short. Mr Cullen was eager for me to take the envelope containing the signed papers, back to Seattle as promptly as possible. It felt as though I had missed my chance. I couldn't stop talking about her on the journey back to the ferry and had actually disengaged my brain from my mouth and told Mr Cullen of how I felt about Bella. It didn't seem to faze him in the least. I wasn't sure at the time if that was a blessing in disguise.

Three and a half years ago was when everything in my life changed.

Marcus and Felix had made it quite clear that they wanted me for this position. I was a little overwhelmed that they had gone to so much touble to find me in Mexico, where I had been quite happily working for a couple of years since moving from Phoenix. At the time it was a hard decision for me to make to move to Mexico but my mother had insisted that even though it had only been a few months since my father's death, he would have wanted me to fullfil my dream of working for this particular company. And then I was being headhunted.

I remember feeling a little taken aback by all the attention and fuss that was being made over me at the time. It gave my confidence a hell of a boost to say the least. I declined the offer at first. I felt a sense of loyalty towards the company that I was working for and had already made myself at home in Mexico. Needless to say that also included my girlfriend of twelve months. Maria was not impressed with the idea of me moving back to Phoenix. She had no intention of leaving her home and family to move to somewhere she really didn't want to be. As the weeks went by and the offer became more and more attractive, Maria became more and more clingy at one point and then suddenly she became indifferent towards me. It wasn't until I found out that she had already lined up my replacement to keep her company in bed that I decided enough was enough.

There was no longer anything in Mexico to keep me there. The offer on the table was too much to turn down and I signed on the dotted line. Marcus and Felix seemed very relieved and at the time I didn't understand why. Who was I to question the inner workings of the mind of the man at the top?

So, anyway I packed my bags and the few posessions that I had acquired living in Mexico and left. I moved back to my mom's home with the intention of finding my own place not too far from her so that I was able to be on hand if she needed me for anything.

The day I started in my new position I felt very relaxed and in control. It was a job similar to what I had already done with just a few extra responsibilities but nothing I couldn't handle. I quickly realised that with Bella as my secretary we were quite a force to be reckoned with.

Then barely six months later the company was to be moved to moving package was the deal breaker apart from the fact that mom insisted that I should go. She had in the few months that I had returned and stayed with her, become her confident self once again.

She had always been a strong and determined woman but for a time after dad's death, was rather lost and unsure of what she was supposed to be doing. My parents had been married for thirty two years. They married a year after I was born.

At the time that was very unconventional and so they had a simple civil ceremony and kept everything very low key. Nonetheless my parents loved each other greatly and having to sacrifice a lavish white wedding in order to be together was something they did without a moments hesitation. Nowadays it seems that anything goes as far as relationships and partnerships are concerned. I remember my mom saying once that having a child out of wedlock was something to be ashamed of back then. Thank God I had forward thinking parents. I never once felt that I was an inconvenience to them in any shape or form. I can only remember being very loved as a small child and very much wanted. They had never regretted any decisions that they made in their life and I was brought up to share the same view on things.

Everything I have done has always been diligently thought through. The fact that I was so attracted to Bella from the very beginning has been the most difficult emotion to deal with. I never thought that there would finally be a day that would release us from the binds of office rules. I knew that the policy of not dating co-workers was not strictly enforced within this company but my instincts dictated that it was probably not a good idea and to leave well alone.

Her smile that greets me in the mornings when I arrive at work was practically the only reason I would get up in the mornings. Over the period of time that I had known her, my original regard for her was one of relief that she knew what she was doing when I took over the position her previous boss had occupied. Now all I wanted to do was spend as much time with her as possible during the day in order to get me through the rest of the day and night until I would see her again the next morning. I was a lost cause. A complete sap no doubt, in some people's books. I had fallen for her over the years and fallen hard.

I dated vigourously at one stage, just to try and get Bella out of my system. But I found myself comparing every woman I was with, to her. None of them came close to her beauty and manner. Her gentle way in dealing with me if I were not happy first thing in the morning or had to rush to get a report together that had been requested last minute.

She was for all intents and purposes perfect for me in every way. It was a good partnership, almost dare I say, a marriage. The monthly dinner dates were the only contact that I was able to have with Bella outside of the office environment. I had initially arranged them in order to get to know her and for her to know a little bit more about me. There was no time at the office to have relaxed conversations and so they became an important part of our relationship. It was the only way I knew to have alone time with her without going against my policy of dating a co-worker. I called them our 'catch up' dinner dates and they were the dates I looked forward too the most on my monthly calendar.

Last night's date was crucial. After the meeting with Marcus and the amazing news that I was being moved in order to take up the important positon of Manager of one of the satellite companies, my heart sank at the realisation that the move did not include taking Bella with me. I argued the point that Bella was an essentail part of my success but there was no way I could sway Marcus into letting her move with me. Of course it made sense that she whould stay in the department in order to ease the new department head into his new role. My motives were purely selfish after all. I couldn't imagine turning up at my new office every morning and not seeing her face, hearing her voice or just simply talking to her about the most inane things like the rain.

Taking the rest of the day off was the best thing for me to do. I was not in the right frame of mind to think straight. Of course I accepted the new position but it meant giving up Bella. Or did it? It wasn't until I had walked for about half an hour, still trying to figure out how on earth I was going to deal with the loss of her presence every day that it struck me. I literally halted on the sidewalk and hit my forehead with the heal of my hand. You idiot!

If I was moving to another building and not allowed to take Bella with me then that meant that we technically no longer worked together! It was simple, I could now after all this time broach the idea of forming a relationship with Bella that I truly desired. I was so caught up in the idea of not seeing her ever again that I was unable to see the wood for the trees. Sure, I would no longer see her during the day but now I would be able to see her ouside of work.

I decided that I could no longer think about things, I had to act and quickly. The 'date' went as planned, although even up to the point when she was standing in front of me in the restaurant, I still hadn't completely figured out what I was going to say or what reaction I was going to receive to my words. I really had nothing to worry about. Just looking up at her from where I sat, I realised that she too had intented the evening to be different. We had after all shared a couple of intense moments during the course of the day. It suddenly hit me in that moment that she was treating the 'date' as something different. She looked amazing. I could hardly believe my eyes. Everything seemed to fall into place at that moment. All I had to do was tell her.

The fact that she was of the same mind, made everything so much easier. I had nothing to worry about. The thoughts that were rushing through my mind at the time, I just wanted to take her back to may place and make her mine. I quickly pushed those thoughts to the back of my head. Way, way back. I had waited for three and a half years! A few more hours or even a few more days was not going to make any difference to the outcome. Of that I was sure.

And now as she lay snuggled up to my chest, warm and soft, all of the fears that had invaded my decision making only a short time ago, seemed pointless and such a waste of time.

She stirred slightly and I felt her hand snake around my waist. A shiver ran up my spine. I shut my eyes to relish the sensation and remember the countless times that I had dreamt of being with her like this. The reality was without a doubt a dream come true. In fact the dreams didn't even come close to what we had shared last night.

She was intoxicating, beguiling and totally hypnotic. She moved her head just a fraction taking in a deep breath, her torso pressing into mine deliciously. My cock immediately reacted. I wanted so much to behave like a gentleman this morning but my body was acting instinctively and ignoring any instruction from my brain. It was as if teenage hormones had invaded my body and would naturally not do as they were told.

"Umm. Morning, Jasper." She whispered, pressing her hips into mine and trapping my erect cock between us. I bit my bottom lip. She knew exactly what she was doing to me and all I wanted to do was let her. I was at her mercy.

"Umm. Seems like it's breakfast time already." She mumbled bucking her hips into me. I shut my eyes tight, relishing the heat rising in both our bodies.

I nuzzled her hair, inhaling deeply. "God Bella, do we really have to go to work today?" I said wistfully.

She nodded slightly into my chest. "Yes, we do. We can't both be off work you know. It would look rather odd. And you are not taking the day off without me so, we have to go to work." I smiled to myself. It was only a few days until the weekend.

"Does that mean that we can stay in bed Saturday?" I mumbled against her hair.

"Umm. That sounds like a great idea. But right now we have a little problem to deal with." She lifted her face, grazing her nose against my chest and reached up to kiss my adams apple. I swallowed hard pulling her closer to me.

"You make it so hard for me to behave like a gentleman." I leaned in and captured her lips with mine. She pulled away a fraction and smiled up at me.

"No one's asking you to be a gentleman right now." Bella turned in my arms and I loosened my grasp on her. She half rolled away from me and quickly retrieved a condom from the nightstand. In one swift movement she rolled back towards me, pushing me flat on my back and straddled me. I couldn't help but smile up at her. It was one of the things I admired in her. Her ability to take control and get things done. She was exactly the same at the office. Her natural efficiency sometimes rendered me speechless.

As I pushed her unruly morning hair from her face, she deftly encased my more than ready cock. I reached up and cupped her face. This morning was not her time to take control. I pulled her to me and kissed her hungrily, flipping us both over she moaned into my mouth wrapping her arms around my shoulders tightly. I broke away from the kiss and pulled my head back to look at her. As I entered her she shut her eyes for a moment.

"Bella," I whispered. "Please look at me. I want to see your eyes." She smiled lazily and opened her eyes. I was immediately lost in her chocolate brown orbs. As I gently moved inside her, her moist walls already pulsating around me, her skin flushed a beautiful shade of delicate pink. She bit her lip as a gentle orgasm radiated from her very centre.

There was nothing else that felt as good as Bella did right now beneath me. I was so lost in her face and her eyes that I hardly noticed my pace increasing until she began gasping. She snaked her arms around my neck and pulled me close to her, wrapping her legs around my waist, as another orgasm began to build inside her. I buried my face in the crook of her neck, kissing and sucking her soft responsive flesh. The pressure building in me was beginning to physically hurt. The muscles in my lower abdomen contracted hard. As much as I wanted to make this moment last longer, I couldn't.

"Jasper," She breathed. "Please, don't hold back anymore." As her words filtered through my Bella filled brain, I immediately felt myself engorge and spill into her. We clung to each other, breathing deeply. She kissed up my neck and along my jaw. Her soft lips sending new shivers up my spine as my pace decreased and I finally stilled.

I felt my body relax, so before I became too heavy for her I rolled us onto our sides, still connected. We fitted perfectly together in every way.

Bella then pushed at me and I rolled onto my back. In the process she disengaged her legs from me and pushed herself up against my chest.

"We have to get ready for work." And with that she disappeared into the bathroom. I heard the water in the shower cascade, immediately jealous of the water and all the parts of her body that it would touch. I knew that if I joined her in there this morning, we would certainly be late for work. For Bella's sake I wanted to maintain our normal routine for the rest of the week.

Just a few minutes later she had finished and wrapped in a towelling robe, she made her way to the kitchen. I hauled myself off the bed, made my way to the bathroom and got myself ready. Once dressed I was enticed towards the kitchen by the smell of fresh coffee. Bella half turned and smiled at me from the stove. She nodded in the direction of the breakfast bar. I sat and watched her as I sipped on the coffee, made of course, exactly how liked it. As she plated up the scrambled eggs and bacon and sat down to join me we discussed our logistical plan.

"I'll be at the office the usual time" She began. "That'll give you time to get home and change. You've never worn the same suit two days in a row and I know for sure that certain people in the office would notice." I raised my eyebrow at her and raked my fingers through my hair.

"Who the hell would notice what I'm wearin' ?" I asked surprised.

"You'd be surprised as to who takes notice of you during the course of the day." She smiled knowlingly at me.

I shook my head slightly. "So, I'm the subject of office gossip am I?"

"Since when have you not been, Jasper. You are a very eligible man and since you haven't been dating for about, what is it now, a month?" She raised her eyebrows at me.

I nodded in reply, placed my knife and fork down on my empty plate and finished my coffee. "The gossip has been rife." she continued, draining her cup.

"Well they're goin' to be sorely disappointed then, aren't they? I have no interest in anyone else but you." I reached over to her, placing my finger under her chin and tilting her face towards mine. I slowly stood from the barstool and stepped towards her.

"I'll see you in the office. Thank you, Bella. That was the best breakfast, ever." She shut her eyes as I narrowed the gap, kissing her mouth firmly. "I would love to cook for you this evenin', at my place?" Bella opened her eyes and smiled my favourite smile.

"I'd love that, Jasper. Any particular time?" I ran my fingers through her damp hair.

"As soon as you like. You might like to bring a change of clothes for the mornin', if you'd like to stay." I just hoped she would say yes.

"Humm, I've got the day to think about it, right?" I grinned knowing by the twinkle in her eye that she was teasing me.

"Indeed you do have all day to decided, Bella." I kissed her forehead, turned and picked up my jacket on the way to the door. I half turned in her direction as I opened the door to leave. She was still sitting at the breakfast bar, her elbows propped up on the counter top with her hands cupping her face. We looked at each other for a moment and all I could think of was holding her again. It was going to be a very long day.

I had to literally force myself to the leave her apartment building and remind myself that I would see her in the office in a about an hour and a half. I just hoped that by the end of the week I would reach a point where needing to see her during the day was not going to hurt so much.

Once back at my apartment I changed and quickly sacnned the contents of the fridge and mentally noted that I would have to get some supplies at the end of the day on my way home.

The journey to the office only seemed to take half the time this morning. How on earth was I going to act normal around her for the next few days? With everything that had happened, it was going to be very hard to keep my hands to myself. But I had to do this for Bella's gossip mongers would have a field day if they found out now. Once the week was over we'd be able to relax. We'd be able to have as many dates as we like once I had taken up my new Management position.

The lift doors opened at my floor and I proceeded to walk towards my office. Fortunately everyone was busy this morning with their heads bowed in concentration and the secretaries diligently typing at their computers.

My pace didn't falter as I took a deep breath and crossed the threshold of Bella's door.

"Good mornin', Bella." I said in my usual tone. She looked up at me from her desk and smiled.

"Good morning. Would you like your coffee straight away?" As she stood slowly from her seat my breath caught. I had bever seen her look more lovely. Her blue blouse shimmered under the office lighting, excentuating her creamy skin and her mahogany coloured hair which today hung freely, the large waves tumbling over her shoulders. Her black skirt hugged her figure. I knew just about every inch of that figure now. Certainly by the end of the night I will have memorized every dip and curve. I could feel my cock reacting to my thoughts and realised that I had been standing for far to long looking at her.

She gave a small cough and broke me out of my Bella daze. As she walked towards the coffee machine to pour out a cup for me, my eyes travelled down the length of her body and finally settled on the pair of heels she was wearing. Oh. My. God! She was seriously going to kill me for the rest of the week. As she turned with the cup of coffee in her hand, my cock twitched and straight away her eyes settled on my crotch. She smiled and gestured towards my office. I turned swiftly and led the way.

I didn't have any meetings to attend until the afternoon, so took off my jacket and hung it over the back of my chair. Bella had already organised my desk and the computer was ready and waiting.

She placed the cup of coffee on my desk in front of me. "There's a memo from Felix. He wants you to organise a time to go with him to see your new office. He's suggested Friday afternoon. Apparently the current Manager will have left by that time. Would you like me to confirm?" I gave her a small smile and nodded.

"Yes please, Bella." Just saying her name made me feel even more uncomfortable and I readjusted myself, leaning forward in my chair. She leaned forward over my desk, ever so slightly, affording me the vision of her wonderous cleavage.

"Is there anything else I can do for you, Jasper?" She was teasing me and doing a very good job. She had always been capable of teasing me. But of course then she didn't realise that she was doing it. Now she did and she was well aware of the affect she had on me.

"No, thank you." I breathed. I took in a sharp breath. "You will regret this, Bella. Seriously you will." I whispered. She looked at me from under her lashes, pouting her ruby red lips slightly.

"Oh, I'm counting on that, Jasper, really I am." She answered seductively. She stood up straight once again, turned and walked out of my office. I watched her retreating form. The outline of her now seemed to be permanently infused on my retinas. I raked my fingers through my hair and rubbed the back of my neck.

I was well and truly fucked.

**End of Chapter**

**Author's note; **So, I wonder how the rest of the week will go for the two love birds. While I go and think long and hard about the next chapter it would be lovely to read your opinions on this chapter via a review. Take care until next time.


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's note; **Many, many thanks for the lovely response I have had to this little story of mine. Thank you for adding it to your Favourites/Story Alerts List and adding me to your Favourite Author Lists. You are very kind and flattering. On with the story and the lovely relationship that is blossoming between Bella and Jasper. Bella's POV thoughout this chapter. Ooo, there is a citrus moment! Enjoy.

**Disclaimer; **I do not own Twilight but I did think of this story.

**Agony and Ecstasy**

What the F...!

"Rose and Alice have invited me out for drinks tonight." I said in a matter of fact tone. I really didn't want to go this evening and the thought of not spending time with Jasper made me want to go out even less. I looked over to him across the breakfast bar a little nervously. I desperately wanted him to come with me but I was well aware of the fact that we had been very successful in keeping our relationship quiet so far. Last night Jasper stayed at my place and we had slipped into a very comfortable routine already since Monday. There were only two days now before he would take on his new role as one of the Management team in Carlisle's company. Only two more days and it wouldn't matter who knew about us.

He looked over at me over the rim of his coffee cup and studied my face for a moment.

"Will it just be the three of you?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. I think he must have guessed by my tone that there was more to this drinks thing than met the eye.

"I have a feeling that Garrett and Peter will be there. When I spoke to Alice she seemed a little too excited about the evening for it just to be the girls." I answered, finishing my coffee.

"You should go you know. They'll wonder what's goin' on if you don't." He hesitated for a moment and then reached over to take my hand in his." If you want, I could come with you." He added, grinning.

I sighed with relief. "You would? I mean I know we're trying to keep everything quiet for now but I really don't want to be the odd one out again." I didn't think it wise to add that Peter was a little attentive the last time we met up and as for Alice's comment about three in a bed! Well, I was definitely not going down that road!

"I think we're goin' to be quite safe. Besides, It's Friday tomorrow, my last day, so I really don't see what difference it'll make if the word gets out now. Besides Rose and Alice don't work for the company. I don't think there'll be a problem." He gave my hand a gentle squeeze as if the decision was final.

"Oh, Jasper! Thank you so much. As you say, if I don't go I'll just arouse suspicion as to what's going on. After all they are my best friends and I really would like them to meet you. They've been thinking that I've been hiding away since Mike and I broke up and I wouldn't be surprised if they tried to pair me up with someone tonight."

"Well, in that case there is nothin' that will keep me from goin' with you." He replied quickly. His tone held a hint of possessiveness but he smiled broadly which in turn made me smile. "What time do we have to be there?"

"I said I'd meet them there at seven. We could go there a little earlier if you'd like. I could book a table. We could make a whole evening of it." He nodded.

"Absolutely, do that. Right I suppose we'd better get ready to go." He slid off the bar stool and cupped my face, tilting it towards his. His breath fanned over my lips. All I could do was shut my eyes. As his mouth lightly grazed mine, thoughts of the previous night we had shared, filled my head. He was by far the most considerate lover I had ever had and last night was all about me.

At first it felt almost selfish of me that he devoted so much time to pleasing me. It was so alien to me. Until my holiday, it had always been expected of me to be the one giving pleasure. I had always wanted a truly equal relationship but until recently that had constantly eluded me. Time after time I would be left so dissatisfied that it was really hard for me to even want to give anything that was expected of me. But with Jasper things were very different. It was as if he knew exactly what my body craved. Every time he touched me gently, goosebumps erupted over my entire body. And every time he moved me around the bed a little more firmly, I became so aroused that I actually had a mind blowing orgasm, simply by kissing his amazing mouth. That was all it took. Just a kiss. That had never happened to me before and at first I couldn't quite work out what had happened. As I pulled away from him, gasping for breath, I looked at him. He had a smug look on his face full of justified pride that he had pushed me to new heights and a very new experience. After making me feel so good and so satisfied, there was no way that I could not reciprocate. We were both completely spent when we finally clung to each other after our sweat inducing, final orgasm.

And once again he was working his magic on me.

As his mouth left mine, I inhaled deeply, keeping my need for him at bay. We had to get to work. The daily grind was calling out to us. He cleared the breakfast bar and quickly did the washing up while I made my way to the bedroom to finish getting ready.

An hour and a half later we had both slipped into our office routine, managing very well to concentrate on the work in hand. Jasper wanted to get everything that he could cleared out of his 'in' tray. He didn't want to leave any work unfinished which might leave a bad impression for his replacement. He took pride in his work and in the company, so leaving half finished work would not look good.

I had managed to book a table for us, where we would be meeting up with Rose and Alice. One of the reports took a little longer to finish than we expected and by the time it was all done and ready to be sent up to Marcus, we had no time to go and change before going to eat. By the time we arrived at the restaurant, we were both very hungry and fully appreciated the meal when it was set before us.

"I must admit, Jasper." I began, looking across the table to him. "It's the first time I've enjoyed working late." He chuckled slightly at me and smiled.

"And why was it so different this time from any other?" I shook my head at him slowly.

"Oh surely you know the answer to that one." He shook his head back at me, frowning slightly.

"Every other time, Mr Whitlock, you would leave me to it and go home. You would leave me in the office on my own. Very unfair, you know." I chided teasingly.

"No, not really, Bella." He retorted gently. "If I had stayed in the office with you, workin' late, then all manner of things may have happened while we were alone together. I really couldn't take the risk you know."

I raised my eyebrows at him. Was he serious?

"The things I had in mind would have meant us being dismissed immediately if we had been caught." I blushed at his words and he chuckled darkly, his eyes not leaving my face.

My internal coil wound tightly and I had to take a deep breath in order to keep some semblance of composure. He smiled at me once again and leaned forward as if he were about to impart some important information, when Rose and Alice walked over to our table. Closely followed by Garrett and Peter.

"Bella!" Alice called, as she rushed over to where I was sitting and hugged me. As she let go of me she looked in Jasper's direction. Her eyes narrowed slightly, as if she was trying to work out whether or not she had met him before.

"Bella. Have you been holding out on us?" She asked looking at me pointedly.

"Maybe." I answered. "Just a little, Alice." Alice stepped back to allow Rose to approach me and we greeted each other with a hug. She stood back and observed Jasper for a moment.

"Well, come on then, Bella! Introduce us." The whole time Jasper sat rather amused by the scene unfolding before him. He stood up when Alice held out her hand to him.

"Alice, this is Jasper. Jasper, my good friend Alice." Alice looked at him and gave a small smile.

"So where have you been hiding him, Bella?" Oh God, here we go!

"Nowhere, Alice." I replied, as she let go of his hand. Rose then stepped forward and greeted him. She was in full 'size him up' mode. She would always do this whenever it was my choice of man rather than hers. She still believed that she would find the perfect man for me, eventually.

"Rose, Jasper. Jasper this is my other good friend, Rose." Jasper gave her a polite nod and she looked at him, from head to toe. As she let go of his hand she looked over her shoulder at me.

"Bella? You have some explaining to do my girl!" I looked at her pleadingly with my 'not now' look and she winked at me cheekily.

Garrett and Peter in the meantime were busy greeting Jasper. The three of them headed over to the bar to order more drinks. So of course, the perfect opportunity then presented itself for Rose and Alice to question me.

"Well?" Rose began holding my gaze with her piercing blue eyes. She sat next to me, placing her hand on my upper arm. I was trapped.

"Well, what?" I retorted. I really didn't want to do this right now. But I knew they wouldn't leave it alone at that point.

"Come on, spill." Alice added, taking the seat on my other side. I was no longer going anywhere unless Jasper would prise me out of the situation.

The men seemed to be taking a while getting the drinks until I saw that they were indeed at the bar, drinking. Typical!

"I seem to remember you saying that your boss was called Jasper. Are they one of the same?" Rose asked looking in Jasper's direction.

I looked down at my hands resting in my lap for a moment. I knew that this was going to happen, so it was just as well get it over and done with then and there.

"Yes, my boss and Jasper. They are the same man." I finally said, letting out a sigh.

Alice gave out a small squeal and Rose just sat there grinning at me. She relaxed her hold on my arm slightly, obviously still feeling that I might just bolt for the door.

"Ooo Bella. How long has this been going on?" Alice asked, bouncing in her seat. I rolled my eyes at her and placed my right hand in her lap hoping to restrain her.

"Alice! Please calm down. You're going to draw far to much attention to this table." I begged. "If you must know, since Monday." I added.

"Monday?" Rose squeeked back at me. "He's been your boss for all this time and you only got together since Monday?!" Her tone dripped with sarcasm. Rose would never have let an obvious attraction go on for so long before she would have take action.

"Jasper didn't want us to get into trouble over it. He's being moved to another building as of Monday morning so he won't be my boss anymore. The powers that be call it promotion. Now seemed like the right time, for both of us." Rose and Alice looked at each other and then back at me.

"And he's not taking you with him?" Alice asked first. I could tell that it was on the tip of Rose's tongue. Alice had got there first. I shook my head.

"I have to stay where I am to help the new department head settle in. Neither of us were happy about it at first but it is better this way. It means we can be together and we won't not have to keep it a secret." They both nodded slowly, absorbing the information.

Rose was the first to speak. She patted my hand. "You're right that is the best way to handle it. Are you happy?"

I nodded. "Totally. We've been skirting around our feelings for each other for quite some time. Who'd have thought that the person who could make me feel so good was only in the next room for what, more than three years!"

"Oh God, Bella. This is amazing! He really is great. And he is so into you! He keeps looking over to you even now. Fuck, Bella, he's got it bad!" She giggled.

I looked over to where he was standing and yes, he was looking over to me. As our eyes locked he smiled. I couldn't wait to ge him home!

The men finally made their way back to our table, each carrying two drinks. Jasper placed my glass of wine infront of me and winked at me. I suppose he was, in his own way, trying to make me feel a little more confident and assured that he was with me all the way. No doubt he now realised why I didn't want to come on my own.

Peter looked over to me rather blankly. I truly didn't know him well enough to be able to figure out what his expression at that moment, meant. All I knew was that he stared at me for a little longer than was necessary, especially with Alice sitting next to me.

Thankfully Rose shared with us a couple of anicdotes about her favourite 'bottled blonde' who worked across town in one of the three boutiques that Rose managed. The mood lightened with her first story and by the time she recited the second story I had put Peter out of my head.

"And you should have seen her face, Bella! She really didn't know the difference between the real and the fake!" She gasped dramatically.

"Are you serious, Rose!" Alice exclaimed, holding in her laughter. I turned to Alice, I could sense that she'd be unable to hold in her laughter for much longer. And then the flood gates opened. The two of us let out peels of laughter. I was sure that we both shared the image of the 'bottled blonde' and her bemused face.

Rose chuckled a little at the two of us and shook her head. "You see Jasper, this is what we've been missing lately." She directed at him."You've put the smile back on her face. Thanks for that." She added, placing her arm around my shoulder and giving me a hug. It really did feel good to have a good laugh with my friends again. That was one of the things I could count on whenever we got together. As serious as we could be when the mood dictated, we would always take time to have a good laugh. It was at the expense of 'bottled blonde' tonight.

During the course of the evening Jasper made sure to organise the drinks. He seemed to get on really well with everyone at the table. Alice seemed to be fascinated with his southern accent, paying him a little more attention than I think he felt comfortable with. He would smile politely at her but didn't really enter into any deep conversation with her. Rose reached over to her a couple of times just to remind her as to who Jasper was with this evening. I didn't mind too much. Alice had had a little too much to drink and Peter didn't seem to want to take it upon himself to keep her in check.

I got the feeling that they were just going out with each other for the sake of it. There didn't seem to be any kind of warmth between them. Rose and Garrett on the other hand were gettting on really well and he couldn't stop resting his hand on her arm or thigh everytime he spoke to her. It was rather nice to watch him because he really did seem to like Rose and on a couple of occasions I saw the way she looked at him. Maybe Rose had found someone who could make her happy even if it only lasted for a short time.

As the evening finally came to an end, we all began to say out goodbyes. By this time Alice was extremely giggly. I wondered how on earth she would cope with going to work the next morning. Rose took a firm hold of her, making sure that she didn't devour Jasper as she said goodbye to him. He looked over to me with a rather amused expression on his face.

Peter walked over to me to say goodbye. I held out my hand to him to deter any kind of goodbye involving close contact. He had made me feel uncomfortable enough during the course of the evening so I figured that would be the safest option. God, was I fucking wrong!

He looked up at me when I held my hand out to him and raised his eyebrow. "It's been lovely to see you again, Bella." He smirked. He then, of all things, brought my hand up to his lips and kissed the back of it. I wanted to snatch it away from him but he felt my tug and held onto my hand a little tighter.

He took a step towards me. "I have no doubt that I'll be seeing you again soon. Take care, Bella." I didn't reply. I couldn't find the right words. If we had been on our own I would have had few choice words to say to him like 'Fuck Off' for a start. But we were not alone and I didn't want to cause a scene in front of everyone. As he let go of my hand I snatched it away and gave him a hard stare. He didn't appear to be at all moved by my reaction. It was almost as if he was challenging me. He really did think a lot of himself that was for sure.

Just at that moment Jasper made his way over to me and noticed my expression. I quickly smiled at him and hoped that I had managed to deter him form worrying about me. It seemed to work. Peter made his way over to Alice finally, taking her arm and leading her out of the restaurant. I felt rather sorry for Alice but was sure that she knew what she was getting herself into with this guy.

Once we got back to Jasper's apartment, I finally relaxed. We had been silent on the journey back.

As I slipped off my shoes and rubbed my very tired feet, Jasper busied himself in the kitchen and made coffee.

"So, are you goin' to tell me what Peter said to you?" He set down the cups on the coffee table in front of me and sat down, taking my hand in his. Why did I think that I had done a good job of covering up the fact that I really didn't like Peter? Having spent so much time with Jasper over the years, it was a little silly of me to think that he wouldn't notice and read my expression of indignation in the restaurant.

"He's just a little too confident for my liking." I began. Jasper gave my hand a gentle squeeze and lifted it to his mouth. As he kissed the back of it it was as if he was over-riding Peter's unwanted gesture. I began to relax completely and nestled into his chest as he held me. Peter was not mentioned again as we drank our coffees.

"So what did you think of Alice and Rose?" I hoped that to a certain degree he did like them. Apart from him, they were the other two most important people to me in Seattle. They were the ones who had maintained my sanity during the first months after I had moved from Phoenix.

"I can see why you love them so much. It seems that Garrett is pretty smitten by Rose. He was sayin' that he'd never met anyone like her."

"Yeah, I noticed how close they've become. Usually by this time Rose would be pushing him away but she seems to be warming to him. It's really good to see." He hugged me closer to him.

"I'm really glad you're not pushin' me away." He whispered and kissed the top of my head. I nuzzled closer to him.

"I would never do that, Jasper. In fact I really can't get close enough to you." I said softly, looking up at him and placing a kiss just on the underside of his jaw.

My stomach muscles clenched and even though my mind was extremely tired, my body was saying something completely different. As I turned towards him I hitched my skirt up to straddle his lap and then snaked my arms around his neck. His hands immediately rested at my waist. We looked at each other for a moment losing ourselves completely. As our mouths connected I edged closer to him and pressed my body to his. Every nerve ending in me seemed to come alive. I certainly didn't need a functioning brain. I only had to trust in my instincts.

As the kiss deepend I could feel my arousal pool in my panties. Only three peices of clothing were a barrier between us. I ran my fingers through his hair, fisting it in order to bring him even closer to me. He moaned into my mouth sending my need for him into overdrive. We began to undress each other as far as we could considering the position we were in. I hardly noticed the cool air against my naked flesh, he was radiating so much heat from his naked torso.

His hands travelled the length of my back, making it arch. l broke away from our kiss and breathed deeply, his mouth deliciously grazed over my chest and down towards my hardened peaks. I moaned softly as he lavished attention on my breasts, cupping them and taking a nipple into his mouth. He bit down on it making the ache in my stomach almost painful.

I knelt up on my knees and unbuckled his belt, quickly followed by the button and zip of his pants. He lifted his hips towards me slightly enabling me to push his pants and boxers down just enough to release his throbbing cock. His attention to my tingling flesh was unyielding. My lust haze completely clouded any kind of coherent thought.

I very quickly slipped off his lap and removed my panties, the only barrier left between my pulsating walls and the object of their desire.

As I straddled him once again I rose up on my knees and slowly lowered myself down on him. As I completely sheathed him his eyes suddenly went wide.

"Shit Bella. No condom." He whispered.

"Jasper, right now I really don't care." And I really didn't. It had been a while since he had slept with another woman and even then I knew how careful he would have been. I slid my hands to the back of his head, pulling his face closer and attacked his mouth again. I wanted him so much.

As his hands caressed the sides of my torso, I pressed myself into him harder. I then began to set a steady pace. Being in that position was amazing. I felt close to him in every possible way and most importantly we were as close as we could possibly be. He let me take complete control, letting me take full advantage of him. My hands left his head and moved to the back of the couch so that I could gain more leverage as I increased my pace. He lolled his head into the back of the couch, keeping his lust filled eyes trained on my face. I felt the heat rise in my whole body. The small orgasms I had were building and it was hard to separate one from the other. They were slowly merging into one. I leaned forward to kiss his heated chest that was now a delicate shade of pink. His hands were still eagerly travelling over all of my exposed flesh. Gently tracing circles one moment and then kneading my flesh as his orgasm began to take hold.

My pace became frantic as I could feel both of us reaching our final climax together.

"Bella! Just don't stop!" He panted through gritted teeth. I had no intention of doing that! I shut my eyes for a time just wanting to feel everything that was happening at that moment. My head was buzzing with the build up. I began to feel overwhelmed by the depth of passion I felt for him.

As he filled me completely and he began pulsate, my walls clamped around him, pulsating and pushing us both over the edge. And then I felt him spilling into me. As I began to slow my pace, we were both breathing heavily, gasping for air. He reached up to me, with his slightly shaky fingers and gently brushed my hair away from my face. We looked at each other for a long time, bringing our breathing back to a more normal pattern.

I finally leaned forward and rested my head on his chest. I could feel his heart still beating hard. I didn't want to move a single inch right then.

"Bella, you're going to fall asleep like this if we don't go to bed." He said softly. I could indeed feel my body slowly begin to drift into the first stage of slumber.

I pushed myself away from him and carefully lifted my body up and disconnected from him. I felt the loss immediately. As I sat back in the couch for a moment trying to gather enough strength to haul myself to bed, he quickly stood up and took the rest of his clothes off. I must have shut my eyes for a moment, as the next thing I was aware of, I was being lifted up into his strong arms and he carried me to the bedroom. It was as though I was floating as I began to drift off to sleep. He laid me down on the bed and removed my skirt. I snuggled down into the pillows unable to open my eyes again as he snuggled up behind me, pulling me into his chest and covering us both with the comforter.

* * *

"Bella would you come here for a moment?" He called from his office. I quickly filed the piece of paper and shut the filing cabinet. As I reached his office door he motioned with his hand for me to take a seat. I sat down opposite him and waited quietly as he shut down his computer. He looked over to me and sat back in his chair.

I crossed my legs as I looked at him. He was looking a little too good today. He had loosened his tie and opened the top button of his crisp pale blue shirt.

As he began to speak, he raked his fingers through his hair. "I have to go in thirty minutes and meet up with Marcus. He's goin' to introduce me to the other members of staff I'll be workin' with. Your new boss will be arrivin' in about an hours time. Make sure you get some lunch won't you. I think the intention is that your new boss will be here for the rest of the day. It goes without sayin' that you'll make him feel welcome, Bella." I nodded to him.

The realisation that he would no longer be working in the room next door to mine suddenly washed over me again. I really didn't like the feeling but there really was no other way to deal with the transition than head on.

"Are you okay, Bella?" He asked softly. I nodded again and gave him a small smile.

"Yes." I answered a little more timidly than I had intended. I cleared my throat and added. "I'll show him around the department and make the necessary introductions."

He looked at me a little unfocused for a moment and then pulled his attention back into the room. "I'll ring you when I've finished. Shall we have a quiet night in? You can stay over at mine for the weekend if you'd like." I stared at his face for a moment and then smiled. I could not think of anything else I would rather do.

"I'd love to. I'll pack a bag for the weekend and meet you there." I uncrossed my legs and stood up, straightening my skirt. If I didn't leave his office soon he would be late to meet up with Marcus. Not a good start.

"We'll have to think of things to do at the weekend." He said with a twinkle in his eye and grinning broadly.

I stepped forward to the edge of his desk and leaned forward seductively. "Oh, I have no doubt about that, Jasper. I have every faith in us that we will come up with some interesting ideas to entertain us this weekend." I purred softly and licked my lips. I straightened up and turned on my heel and headed back to my chair. I was beginning to enjoy teasing him a little too much!

Moments later he walked into my office and stood by my desk, having buttoned up his shirt and was straightening his tie.

I looked up at him. He was not succeeding very well with the tie.

"Here let me do that for you." I rose from my chair, stood directly in front of him and reached up to deal with the uncooperative tie. He stood there, his eyes transfixed on my face as I reset the garment and flattened the collar of his jacket.

"Will I do?" He whispered, his breath fanned my face. I reached up and stroked his cheek gently.

"You most certainly will, Jasper. I'm so proud of you." He gave a small smile and quickly kissed the tip of my nose.

"I'd be nothing without you, Bella." He hesitated for a moment. "I'll see you later." He added. It was as if we were saying goodbye to each other but fortunately not forever.

I sighed deeply as I watched him leave my office and walk down the hallway to the lift. It would be a very long afternoon and from now on, each working day would be long and drawn out. All I could hope for was that my new boss was a nice person and not the kind to make this whole thing more difficult than it already was.

I popped out to grab a sandwich from a nearby cafe and headed back to my desk to quickly eat it before my new boss arrived.

With five minutes to spare I made sure that Jasper's office was tidy and cleared my desk of papers that needed to be filed. I also re-tied my ponytail and quickly re-applied my lip gloss.

As I was setting up the coffee machine, so that we would have a fresh supply for the rest of the afternoon, I heard two male voices approach my office door.

"So, this is Bella's office. Bella Swan, your new secretary. She has been working for us for over three years now and is a very valued member of staff." I turned as the men stepped over the threshold and entered the room. I almost gasped at the sight of the two men standing in front of me. I had to quickly gather my senses and composure and focus on the matter in hand.

To welcome my new boss.

**End of Chapter**

**Author's note; **I know, I know I'm so evil to you. I'd love to read who you think these two men are that are standing in front of Bella and have her almost gasping for breath! All you have to do is hit the green button the tell me. The next chapter will be up as soon as I have put my brain into gear. Take care until next time.


	18. Chapter 18

**Author's note; **Thank you for the lovely reviews for the previous chapter. Thank you also to those of you who have added this story to their Favourite/Story Alerts Lists. This chapter reveals Bella's new boss and a few other things. Quite a few of you guessed the new boss correctly but as for the other man? Read on. And there is a lemon for you to enjoy.

**Disclaimer; **I do not own Twilight but I thought of this story.

**Agony and Ecstasy**

Making the pieces fit

I stood motionless for a moment. I was relieved that I wasn't holding anything in my hands at the time as I was sure it would have hit the floor by now and caused an awful mess.

Peter smiled smugly at me. My heart began to thump hard in my chest. A mixture of confusion and fear ran through my body. This could not be happening!

I had no idea who the man was, standing next to Peter. He was quite tall and slim. He had a full head of grey hair which only made it more difficult to put an age to him. His bright blue eyes scanned my face and he gave me a polite smile. The suit he wore was very expensive judging by the design of it. My only conclusion was that he had to be someone important within the company.

After my initial shock of seeing Peter, the other man stepped forward and extended his hand to me. I willed myself to approach him reminding myself of my promise to Jasper that I would welcome my new boss. I shook the man's hand and he finally introduced himself to me.

"I realise that we have never met, Miss Swan and naturally you are a little puzzled. My name is Aro Voltare. I don't usually get involved in day to day things such as this but Mr Cullen requested that I personally intoduce your new boss to you". He slowly loosened is hold on my hand but instead of letting go completely he passed my hand over in the direction of Peter. Before I realised what was happening Peter took my hand in his and shook it formally. He was my new boss!

"This is Peter. Peter Edwards. Now then let me show you to your office Peter." At once Peter let go of my hand and turned to head towards what would now be his office. Mr Voltare looked over his shoulder to me. I still hadn't moved. I was glued to the spot with astonishment.

"Miss Swan would you please see to the coffee? I do believe Peter and I like our coffee black and no sugar." He said with a small grin on his lips. I nodded to him and watched as they both walked into the office and shut the door.

My mind was racing at what seemed a hundred miles an hour. I drew in a sharp breath and blinked a couple of times.

Peter obviously knew last night that he was to take over Jasper's position within the company. Why on earth had he not said anything? And then again I suppose he did with his cryptic goodbye, that he would see me again soon. As I poured out the cups of coffee I noticed my hands shaking slightly. It all felt like some awful dream. It was as if I had absolutely no control as to what was transpiring right now. Jasper had been moved on to a better position within the company and Peter, who I had now met twice before today, was my new boss. The idea of him taking Jasper's place at work, sent an unpleasant shiver up my spine.

And what role did this Aro Voltare play within the company? I had never heard of him until just now. Carlisle had never mentioned him. And then it suddenly hit me. I shut my eyes as the memory came flooding back. One of the mornings when I woke up in Carlisle's cabin, Carlisle was on the telephone and speaking to someone called Aro. Yes, it had to be him! And of course! He had to be Marcus's brother.

So where did Aro fit in all of Carlisle's company set up? I stood for a moment having poured out the coffee, desparately trying to slot together other pieces of this puzzle. That was the day before Jasper was asked to take the paper's over to Carlisle for signing. The day that Jasper looked in on me. The day that he showed me how much he thought of me. The day that Carlisle found us together in the kitchen with Jasper touching my face!

And yes, Carlisle wasn't happy! Even though I hadn't known him for very long I knew what the look on his face meant. The mixture of annoyance jealousy and maybe even anger that Jasper was touching me.

I suddenly realised that I was gasping for breath. I could feel the onset of a panic attack. I held onto the counter top firmly to steady myself and calm my breathing down a little. My heartbeat throbbed in my ears as I willed it to calm down. A wave of dizziness washed over me. There were too many thoughts in my head at that moment to process; I really needed to get some air. To sit down somewhere quiet and alone and figure all of this out. I had already been too long with the coffee, so I picked up the cups and headed over to the closed office door. I held both cups of coffee in one hand so that I'd be able to open the door with my free hand.

"Ah, there you are Miss Swan!" Aro turned in his chair and smiled at me. I gave a polite smile and set the cups on the desk.

Aro looked up at me from where he was sitting. "Thank you Miss Swan. Before I leave I need to speak to you. I take it you're not too busy to spare me some of your time?"

"Yes, of course Mr Voltare. I'll just be next door." I turned quickly, not even bothering to register the look on Peter's face. He was the last thing on my mind right now. As I shut the door behind me I walked across my office and poured myself out a coffee. I was sure that it would help to settle me a little more and help my mind to keep focused. It seemed that right now I could not miss a single word that Aro Voltare might have to say to me.

I sat down heavily in my chair. I was already feeling exhausted and wanted nothing more than to go home and fall into Jasper's comforting arms. What the hell _was_ I going to tell Jasper? I would have to tell him that Peter was my new boss. That was a given but what about the rest of the information I had pieced together in my mind. Could I even be sure that my thought processess were correct? That Carlisle had arranged all of this purely because he felt threatened by Jasper?

I huffed to myself at the thought. Surely someone as intelligent and kind as Carlisle would not submit himself to such basic emotions. The whole time we were together, he treated it as just a holiday liaison. A welcome distraction for both of us. As much as we felt for each other at the time, we both knew that it was only going to last the time that I was on the island. Didn't he?!

Then words that he had spoken to me while I was on the island, filtered through my mind. 'When you go back to Seattle, please make the right choice, Bella.' At the time I thought that he purely meant to say it in a kind and caring way. As a friend would, giving someone good advice. But now somehow, those words took on another meaning.

I tried to remember when he had said this to me. And what else had he said cryptically that I had taken at face value. How many other things did he say to me that meant something else entirely to him and yet I only heard innocent message?

Then it suddenly hit me. He had spoken those words the day before I left the island. He had asked me to think hard about any important decisions that I would make once I was back in Seattle. Why would he say that? What was it he knew that I didn't?

I pulled myself quickly back to where I was sitting as I heard the door open and Aro Voltare stepped into my office, closing the door on Peter. He walked over to my door and shut that one also. I stayed in my chair and watched him as he moved around the room and then finally lifted the seat that was situated by the door and moved it to sit in front of me at the other side of my desk.

As he settled back in the chair he looked directly in my face, not blinking. I felt a blush rise to my cheeks as he observed me. I had no idea what he was going to say to me. His face gave nothing away.

"So, how are you Miss Swan?" I nodded sharply as I answered.

"I'm fine, thank you." I doubted if he believed me because right now all I wanted to do was run far away from here. The reality of that no doubt showed clearly on my face in the form of panic.

"Good." He began nodding slowly. "Mr Cullen requested that I pass on his best wishes to you." I looked at him and felt my blush deepen. My stomach knotted at the same time. He obviously knew so much more than I was aware. There seemed little point in trying to hide the fact.

"I trust he is well." I stated, keeping my eyes focused on his face. Carlisle had obviously taken this man into his confidence. He was at a distinct advantage. His eyes fixed on mine for a moment and then he leaned forward in his chair, clasping his hands together and resting his elbows on his knees.

"Carlisle is very well, Bella." The use of our Christian names in the same sentence made me blush once again and I fought to hold in a gasp. I kept my determined gaze on his face to convey that I was not uncomfortable with the course that the conversation was taking. Showing him my surprise and discomfort with this conversation was not something that would put me in the advantageous position right then.

"You understand the reasons for not letting you go with Mr Whitlock, I take it?" I didn't answer. More of Carlisle's words ran through my mind at that moment.

'I won't let you go, Bella. I won't.' But those words were spoken during the height of passion. At that _moment _I didn't want him to let me go. I felt to close to him, so complete. But now I wondered if that _was_ what his words meant.

Was I beginning to understand the thought process behind Jasper's promotion now?

He ignored my slience and continued to speak. "Carlisle has very big plans for Mr Whitlock. He is key to everything that Carlisle has planned for the future of this company." I listened intently, absorbing everything that he was saying. From the way he spoke, Jasper was certainly not aware of this information. Why on earth was I being told?

"Bella." He began, his voice almost a whisper. "Carlisle is well aware of all that happens within this company. As you well know he keeps his distance physically but I can assure you that everything that happens in the day to day running of a company even this size, right down to the seemingly most mundane things that happen to his staff, he is well aware of. For now Bella, you will remain here making sure that Peter is everything that he should be to be a successful head of this department. Carlisle is relying on you to do that." He sat back in his chair at that point, as if satisfied that he had said what he had obviously been instructed to say.

I paused pointedly for a moment, taking a breath and looked down into my long forgotten cup, now filled halfway with cold coffee.

"And what if I decide that I don't want to stay? What if I'm not happy with this arrangement?" I looked up at him again, meeting his eyes with mine, defiantly.

A small smile played across his lips. "The choice is yours, Bella. You have to chose what is best for you." The memory of Carlisle's words came flooding back to me at that moment. I closed my eyes as his voice ecohed in my ears. 'There's nothing wrong with being selfish, Bella. As long as the person or people you care about are not hurt in the process.'

"But that doesn't mean that he's happy with my choice, does it?" I looked at him hard. A crooked grin appeared across his mouth and no other emotion appeared on his face. I knew exactly at that moment that Carlisle knew I was with Jasper now.

"You are very correct in your assumption, Bella. Remember that Carlisle is a force to be reckoned with. If you do decide to leave this company Bella, there will be questions as to your reasons why, from very many people."

"Carlisle doesn't own me. I _am_ free to make my own decisions!" I blurted out a little louder than I intended. Aro's eyes flitted in the direction of Peter's office door. Satisfied that Peter was not about to intrude on our conversation he looked back at me and sighed.

"Bella, I think you underestimate Carlisle's feelings for you. Quite frankly I was intriged as to who would be able to affect him in such a way. But now I've met you, Bella. And now I inderstand. As I leave you, Bella, I can only advise you of the importance of the decisions you make right now, from this day forward." He stood and nodded to me and without another word he opened my office door and walked the length of the hallway, heading towards the lift.

I stood, a little unsteadily on my feet and watched him as he waited quietly by the lift doors. As the doors opened he stepped into the chrome cube and turned to face me, nodding in my direction one last time.

I let out a breath that I hadn't even realised I'd been holding in and steadied myself by gripping my office door, firmly. I needed to get out of the office for a while and I wasn't going to take no for an answer.

I turned and entered Peter's office. He was studying some paper work, held in a large folder set on the desk in front of him. He looked up at me rather surprised and waited for me to speak.

"I need to go out for a moment." I said, my voice not wavering. "I'll take you on a tour of the department when I get back Mr Edwards." I added. He opened his mouth, I assumed to ask me why I was going out. "I won't be long." I added sharply, at which he shut his mouth.

I wasn't going to be told what to do today. No, not today! Any other time maybe but not today and not right now!

I turned on my heel without another word and grabbed my jacket and purse and headed towards the lift. As the lift took me to the ground floor, I had never felt to isolated. I needed to speak to someone but who? I couldn't speak to Jasper about everything that had been said between Aro and myself. That would mean explaining the affair that I had had with Carlisle.

Even though it happened before Jasper and I had got together it still felt like a betrayal. If I left the company, then where would I go? How would I expalin my resignation to Jasper? He knew how much I loved the job. I couldn't blame my departure on Peter. I was now well aware that I could handle Peter. He was no longer my main concern. I had far greater things to contend with. Peter was nothing but a pawn in all of the future plans that Carlisle had for this company.

I now knew that Carlisle had moved Jasper as part of some plan that he had for him. It seemed that the move happened sooner than maybe even Carlisle had envisaged. Was that because of me? Aro had more or less confirmed that. Was it Carlisle's way of thinking that with distance placed between Jasper and me, it would change how we felt about each other?

It suddenly hit me that possibly Peter might have said something to either Marcus or Aro or even Carlisle, about my relationship with Jasper. But how would he have done that so quickly? Peter only saw us together for the first time last night. And then again it seemed that anything was possible as far as Carlisle was concerned.

Why hadn't Carlisle said something to me on the island, if he felt that much for me? I knew at the time that I was beginning to fall for him but I understood the importance of the fact that we would only be together for two weeks. He never even gave a clue as to how much he felt for me. Or did he?

'I won't let you go, Bella. I won't.' His words echoed in my ears again.

I sat down on a low wall, close to a water fountain, just a couple of blocks away from my office building. The gentle sound of the flowing water helped to calm me a little and enabled me to think.

The truth as to who had told Carlisle about my decision to be with Jasper, was now of no consequence to me. Carlisle knew and that was all that mattered. As for dealing with Peter, no problem. I was quite capable of using Carlisle's name to _my_ advantage as much as obviously Carlisle was able to do. Two could play a that game.

If Carlisle really did think so much of me, then would he risk losing me completely? Could he take the risk that I would leave the company and not take Jasper with me? As the realisation of the power I now held coursed through me, I began to smile to myself. I had never been a manipulative person but it seemed that just about everyone around me was. Did I join the ranks or stay aloof and on the fringes of everything that was going on? If I stayed on the fringes then I would have no control as what might happen to me. I would be used and manipulated by all who were in charge of this company.

Yet if I began to use the sway I had over them because of my past relationship with Carlisle and his now obvious need to have me in his life, I would control what would happen to me. It seemed that that was by far the better of the two options.

No, Carlisle would not dictate to me as to how I should live my life and with whom I should do that! This would be a battle of wills and I would fight for my own until the end. And in the meantime I was going to find out what these plans were that Carlisle had for Jasper. And why Jasper was so important to Carlisle's plans.

I stood up, smoothed my skirt down and loosened my hair from it's confines. My first job this afternoon was to take Peter around the department and introduce him to everyone. I smiled to myself as I wondered what he would think of Tanya. She was just about the sexiest woman that strutted around the depatment at the moment. Maybe that would be the ideal distraction he would need to take his attention away from me and what I was doing in my private life. I could feel a plan forming as I reached my office door again. I retrieved my hair brush from my desk drawer and pulled it through my hair. My mind was amazingly clear and focused now that I had begun to work things out.

I turned and entered Peter's office. "Are you ready Mr Edwards?" I asked boldly.

"Umm, yes. Of course." He seemed slightly flustered which made me feel even better. He grabbed his jacket and slipped into it as we walked down the hallway. I opened the large double doors situated half way down on the left hand side of the hallway. I stood back to allow him to walk ahead of me.

"This is your department Mr Edwards!" I announced to him, smiling.

I took the most amount of time possible to walk him around the large open plan office. At this time of the day everyone had returned from their lunch breaks and therefore he was able to meet everyone. I saved Tanya as one of the last introductions on our tour.

And I was not disappointed, as he moved towards her with his hand outstretched. He smiled, no, he beamed at her and her reaction was exacxtly as I had envisaged. Perfect! It was pretty obvious to me then that Alice was not that important to him. Alice was better off without him anyway!

They stood for a short time exchanging the usual pleasantries which in turn allowed me a moment to help one of the other secretatries with a query. All the while I kept them both in my sights and waited for my moment to interrupt them at a point where they would want to continue talking another time. Perhaps over drinks?

I winked knowlingly at Tanya. We females just had to stick together in times like these. She smiled back at me and watched Peter's retreating form as he left the office. Plan one was well and truly under way! Tanya's mind was far too easy to read.

Once we returned to our respective offices, I busied myself with the last few letters that needed to be typed out and placed them on Peter's desk ready for his signature.

By a quarter past five I began to clear my desk and tidy up the coffee machine area, ready for Monday. Once I had finished doing that I stepped into Peter's office and wished him a good weekend.

He handed me the signed letters and gave me a small smile. "I trust you will be having a good weekend, Bella." I took his words as having the double meaning that he, without a doubt, fully intended.

"Absolutely, Mr Edwards. Right now I feel as though I won't bother getting out of bed for the entire time." I turned on my heel not bothering to wait for a comment and walked out of his office. I quickly folded the letters and placed them in the envelopes, gathered my things together, having shut everything down and walked towards the lift.

I wasn't going to let anyone fuck me around anymore. Carlisle and everyone else who were trying to control and manipulate me, had better watch out!

As soon as I got back to my apartment I quickly changed into more casual clothes. A pair of blue jeans and a t-shirt seemed the most comfortable. I packed my bag ready for the weekend with casual clothing and an outfit suitable for a possible night out. I wasn't sure what Jasper had in mind to do but I was ready for anything.

As I stowed my bag away on the back seat of my car and brought it to life, I smiled to myself and thought about how Jasper's afternoon might panned out for him. I hoped that he had a really nice secretary and that everyone had made him feel welcome.

I had missed him so much this afternoon and knew that by not working together I would appreciate him much more. There would be so many new things to talk about when we'd get together at the end of the day.

It seemed somehow that Carlisle's plan of keeping us apart would backfire. If anything this would bring us closer together. I realised now how short sighted Carlisle's idea was. There didn't seem to be a lot of planning and thought on his part. But then again I had to be prepared for anything as far as Carlisle was concerned. I was sure that he would be capable of anything if he so wished it.

Jasper's car was already parked in his alotted bay as I pulled up and parked outside his apartment building. He must have been looking out for me because no sooner had I got out of my car and was lifting my bag from the back seat, he was there beside me ready to take the bag from my hand.

"My God, how I missed you, Bella." He whispered into my ear as he took the bag from me and snaked his arm around my waist from behind. I leaned back into his chest and shut my eyes for a moment relishing his touch, his voice and his smell.

I slowly turned in his embrace and opened my eyes when I faced him. He looked so good. It was as if I was seeing him for the first time today. I relaxed in his hold and reached up to kiss his mouth.

"You'll never know how much I missed you, Jasper." I whispered. He closed his eyes for a moment and I knew at once how affected he was by my words. He pressed his hips into me, indicating to me how much he craved my body.

"I take it I'll have the greatest of pleasure finding out how much you missed me?" I smiled at him and gently stroked his closed lids with my thumbs.

"Absolutely, Jasper. You have no idea as to the amount of agression I have stored up from today's event. Let's go inside and I'll tell you all about my afternoon and you can tell me all about yours." We walked, hand in hand, up to his apartment.

He already had a selection of Chinese food plated up, ready to heat up in the microwave and the bottle of wine and glasses were ready and waiting on the coffee table. I smiled at his thoughtfulness and poured out the wine as he took my bag into the bedroom for me.

I suddenly felt overwhelmed with the warm feeling of how much he cared about me and how long it had taken for us to finally arrive at this point in our relationship. As he walked back into the living room. I took his hand in mine and kissed his palm, pulling him closer to me.

"You really know how to spoil me, don't you? You do realise that all the lovely things you do for me will only make me fall more in love with you than I already am." He looked at me for a moment, still as a statue. I had obviously taken him by surprise with my honest words but right now after the afternoon that I'd had, I really didn't care. I felt the need to tell him. I needed him to know how much I cared about him and how important he was to me. I would not regret what I had just shared with him.

A small smile came to his lips and his eyes sparkled as my words hung in the air between us.

"Oh, Bella I don't think I could do enough to show you how much you mean to me. Maybe it's about time that I tell you instead." He leaned down to my lips and captured them with his. The kiss was the softest he had ever given me.

"He pulled back from me slightly and looked deep into my eyes. "I love you, Bella. I really do love you. I know I have for quite a long time now and no matter what I was doin' when we were not together, you were always there in the forefront of my thoughts."

"Umm, Jasper you have no idea how wonderful it is to hear you say that. I love you too, Jasper." He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him. He began kissing my forehead and then my temple, slowly kissing his way down one side of my face to my neck. He nipped and licked at my tender flesh causing me to tilt my head to the side so that he could gain better access. My whole body began to come alive at his touch.

"You are amazing, Bella." He whispered against my flesh. His voice was full of lust.

"And so are you, Jasper. I missed you so much today. Can we take the wine into the bedroom and eat later?" I asked. He quirked his eyebrow at me in surprise and smiled gently at me.

"By all means, Bella. I'll go and cover the food and bring the wine in with me in a minute."

I watched for a moment as he made his way into the kitchen to tend to the food. I picked up my glass of wine from the coffee table and took a quick sip from the glass before I made my way to his bedroom.

I set the glass down on the nightstand and got undressed. I smiled to myself as I crawled up onto the bed making myself comfortable on the rich chocolate brown comforter.

My body was so ready for him. I felt my arousal spill from me as I heard his footsteps approach the bedroom. I was already breathing heavily. I certainly would not be wasting any time about getting the release I needed. I needed Jasper to flush my brain of all the thoughts that had been festering there during the course of the afternoon.

Right now all I needed was my fix of Jasper.

He stood for a moment at the doorway looking at me with hooded eyes, holding his glass and the bottle of wine.

"Fuck, Bella. You look so good." I smiled at him from under my lashes and without a word beckoned him to me with my index finger.

He dutifully approached the bed and I hauled myself up on my knees, close to the edge of the bed to meet him as he set down the bottle and his glass. As if he knew what I was about to do, he stood abolutely still before me.

I slowly began to undress him. He shut his eyes to savour the sensations of the moment and I kissed him enticingly, beginning at his face and then along his torso as I took the shirt away from his body. I felt the goosebumps appear in the wake of my attention to him. His breathing was deepening as I slid my fingers down his torso to the waistband of his pants. I quickly dispensed with the belt and undid the button and zip of his pants. Slowly I pushed the pants and boxers down his hips. As his cock sprang forth from its confines I bent down a little and kissed and licked the tip, teasingly.

"Oh God, Bella. You're killing me!" His tone was husky and full of want.

"What a way to go, my love." I answered as he stepped out of his pants. I straightened up again, aligning his face with mine. I gently placed my hands on his face and cupped it pulling him closer to me. He opened his eyes just a small amount as our mouths crashed together hungrily. Our tongues met and greeted one another as I pulled him towards me and onto the bed, not losing connection. I lay down with him straddled over my hips, his cock resting on my stomach as we continued to kiss.

The urgent need in me became too much and I shifted slightly indicating to him that I wanted him to rest between my legs. As I opened my legs he came down to rest between them but without any hesitation I bucked my hips and in one movement I captured his twitching cock at my wet folds and held him fast with my thighs. There was no where else he could got but in.

He groaned into my mouth as I sheathed him completely. I think I had taken him a little by surprise. He pulled away from the kiss and looked at me for a moment.

"If this is you after a bad day then I want you to have bad days every day, darlin."

"I have a feeling I'll be having quite a few bad days, my love. All you have to do is make sure that you're there for me. I don't think I could cope otherwise."

"What's happened, darlin, that's so bad?" His voice was full of concern.

I shook my head at him slowly. "Nah ah, you are not going to distract me right now. All I want to think about is you and you alone for now. So just shut up and fuck me."

"Yes, ma'am. No problem." And immediately his mouth was on mine again as he began to set a gentle pace, wiping away each anxious and angry moment I had experienced during the course of that afternoon.

We only stopped kissing when we were both gasping for air. But as soon as his mouth left mine, he kissed me hungrily on every part of exposed flesh he could reach.

Wave after wave of smaller orgams washed over me pulling me deeper and deeper into the euphoric abyss that I craved. As far as I was concerned this was not going to last long. I could feel however that he had other intentions.

"Fuck me harder, Jasper, please. I need more of you." His kisses and his pace became more frantic at my words as we moved around the bed, our legs holding each other in place and our arms grasping at each other desperate to hold us closer together.

"Oh God, Bella I want this to last longer." He pleaded with me.

"Not this time, my love. Later you can have what you want. I need to feel you coming, now!" I dug my nails into his shoulders and clasped my legs tighter around his waist.

"Oh shit, Bella. I hope your ready!" He grunted as he set a frantic pace. I clung to him, breathing heavily into his ear.

As I felt his body tense and his cock fill me completely, my final orgasm began to take hold. I shut my eyes tightly, finally allowing my mind to completely empty of everything except this moment.

He spilled into me, gasping and moaning my name. I was speechless as my final orgasm engulfed me.

I held onto him as he rode his orgasm out and felt a small tear fall from the corner of my eye. It felt as if he had touched my very soul. Nothing on this earth would keep us apart. Nothing would taint what we had.

As we finally relaxed and Jasper rolled away to rest next to me, propped up on his elbow, we looked at each other smiling for a time. I felt dizzy and in love.

He stroked my cheek with the backs of his fingers and gently kissed my temple.

"So, darlin. Are you going to tell me about your new boss. I take it he's the reason for the tension in you?" He whispered. I nodded and gave a small smile.

"What would you say if I told you that my new boss is Peter?" It seemed at first that he hadn't heard me. Seconds later his eyes grew wide with disbelief.

**End of Chapter **

**Author's note; **I really did enjoy writing this chapter. Bella has become so strong and determined. She's going to need to be. More highs and lows are on their way. Poor Bella. In the meantime your appreciation of this chapter would be gratefully received by pressing the green box. Thank you and take care until next time.


	19. Chapter 19

**Author's note; **Many thanks for your reviews of the previous chapter. RL has been rather hectic recently and so this chapter was rather delayed. But here we are at last. Enjoy.

**Disclaimer; **I do not own Twilight, just this story and a couple of others.

**Agony and Ecstasy**

Anxious moments

"I still can't believe that Peter is you're new boss, darlin'." He shook his head slowly, staring at his now empty breakfast plate.

I reached across the breakfast bar and took his hand in mine. "Don't worry about it. Tanya will be the ideal distraction for him. I can handle him, trust me." He looked up and met me gaze.

"I know you can, darlin'. I just find it really strange that we were talkin' the other night and he didn't think it important enough to mention that fact. It makes me think that there is somethin' underhanded goin' on. It makes me feel uneasy." He answered, frowning. I really didn't want him to waste time worrying about Peter and his silly games.

"Please, love. Don't fret about it. You have enough to think about for now. You need to impress Marcus with your management skills."

"Takin' everythin' into consideration I doubt if I could make any mistakes in his eyes. But of course I'm not gonna be testin' that idea." He finally smiled and it reached his eyes.

"After all the effort they went to to track you down in Mexico and get you to work for the company I have no doubt either that you are seen as a man who can do no wrong. They obviously knew how amazing you were and of course they made the right choice." I smiled encouragingly at him. I was determined that somehow I would find out why they had gone to all of that effort.

Talking about Mexico seemed to spark memories of his move to Phoenix. He shared with me how elated he was the day he was introduced to me. He explained that if it had not been for the smile I gave him that day, washing away all the doubts he had about moving back to Pheonix, it would have been a more difficult time for him. He confessed that he had no intention of making a move on me at the time. But as time went by it became more and more difficult for him to handle being around me. He confessed to distancing himself from me during the time that we worked together by trying to distract himself with dates although as he admitted, they were beautiful women and a few of them even became his bed companion on the odd occasion, he would be left feeling bad about the whole encounter. He could only associate that with the fact that he never stopped thinking about me even during the throws of passion.

In turn I confessed that I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was attracted to him from the first day he took over the role as my boss. It seemed that having declared our true feelings for each other, release came in the form of unbridled passion expressed in both words and deeds. We could not do enough for each other. Everything was shared just as it had been for the time up until that moment but now it meant so much more. Every kiss and cuddle took on new meaning. We looked at each other through new eyes.

We spent Saturday just relaxing and enjoying each others company. Silence often enveloped us as we cuddled in bed, listening to each others heartbeats

In the evening he took me to our now, very favourite restaurant. Marco was extremely happy to see us again so soon and made sure that we sat at the table we had occupied at our last 'catch up' date. 'Catch up' dates were now a thing of the past.

After a beautiful meal we decided to have our after dinner drinks back at his apartment.

"What was Maria like?" I asked, not able to hold back my inquisitiveness any longer.

"Bella, love. I really don't want to talk about her. It's all in the past. Just as any relationships you've had before we got together. They don't mean anythin' now."

I nodded, feeling a little relieved that he was happy to leave previous relationships well and truly behind us.

I cuddled up to him on the couch, nestling a Brandy glass between my hands, bringing the rich liqour up to temperature. When I requested the drink, he raised an eyebrow at me. Admittedly, whenever we had our 'catch up' dates I never drank anymore than wine.

He smiled almost to himself as if he had learned something new about me and was comitting it to memory along with all the other morsels of information he had learned about me in the time that we had been together since my holiday.

"How is your mother? I take it she's well?" He had always spoken about her with such affection. He had a couple of pictures of his parents on display in his living room. Looks wise he had inherited a lot from his mother. She had a lovely carefree smile and yet behind her eyes there seemed to be a trace of sadness. His father's death had obviously affected her deeply. They had been together for a long time.

"Yeah, I spoke to her a couple of days ago. I told her about my promotion. She said that she was very proud of me." He trailed his fingers lazily over the length of my upper arm, seeming to want to add something else. Finally he planted a soft kiss on my cheek.

"Bella, what would you say if I suggested that we should go to Phoenix together and you could meet my mother?" I looked up at him. There was nothing more that I would like to do. I wanted to hug the woman that had given birth to such an amazing person. From what Jasper had said of her I got the feeling that we would get on very well. She wanted exactly the same as I: Jasper's happiness.

"I would love to. And then you could meet my mom and Phil. You'd be okay with that wouldn't you?"

"It sounds perfect. She'll be so happy." He said softly, nuzzling my hair.

"What d'you mean?"

"Oh, mom told me quite some time ago that I was falling for you. Apparently she could hear it in my voice. I suppose she's right. Our parents do have a certain knack of understandin' us better sometimes than we do ourselves."

"You're very close to your mom aren't you?" I observed and he gave me a small nod. "That's really good. I'd love to be able to have a better relationship with my mom." I added wistfully.

"You're doin' better with your dad now, aren't you?" He asked gently, kissing the side of my head.

I nodded and took a sip of my drink.

"It seems that being in love has brought out the best in him. He sounds so happy when I talk to him on the phone. It's good that he's finally found someone that makes him happy."

"Are you goin' to see him next weekend?"

"Well, I haven't arranged anything yet. I only need to ring a couple of days before hand. How about you come with me and meet him? It's not as if he doesn't know who you are. He always asked about you whenever I visited him. I think he was worried that you worked me too hard."

"Would he want to meet me then, if he thinks that I worked you too hard?"

"Of course! It'll give him a chance to give you a piece of his mind." I said jokingly.

"Umm, does he carry his gun around everywhere?" He asked hesitantly.

"Of course. He doesn't go anywhere without it." I teased.

"Maybe I should skip this visit and go next time once you've told him that I'm not your boss anymore."

"I can't believe that you're afraid of him. Actually I can't believe that you're afraid of anyone. Everybody likes you." I reassured him, reaching up to kiss the underside of his jaw.

"There is one person that I am little in awe of."

"Really? And who might that be?" I frowned.

"Mr Cullen. When I was asked to go over to the island, I didn't even know who he was. Marcus explained as much as I think he was allowed to. I was honoured to be meeting the man himself and of course to be able to see you that day."

"Yes, it was rather a strange day. I take it Mr Cullen liked you?" My stomach lurched as we spoke about Carlisle in such an easy manner.

"Well, I think so. He asked me a lot of questions when he drove me down to catch the ferry."

"I suppose he wanted to get to know you a little better. You must have impressed him. You were promoted not long after that meeting." I added, keeping my voice as light as possible.

"Yes, so I must have said somethin' right then. I thought I might have overstepped the mark at one point though."

"How come?" I asked, turning my face upwards to look at him.

"Well, I did let it slip that I wanted to ask you out. I think he might have got the idea that I had a bit of a crush on you."

"What did he say? Nothing I hope. Dating co-workers is not exactly forbidden within the company." I said, hoping to sound matter of fact.

"He didn't really react at all. He did agree with me that you were very beautiful. He's an artist after all. He knows beauty when he sees it!" He smiled looking down at me.

Suddenly the memory of that night came flooding back to me. I shut my eyes for a moment. I really didn't want to think about it just now. Now was not the right time. Now I was in Jasper's arms and the thought of Carlisle and the hold he had over his employees lives, frightened me somewhat.

I shuddered slightly and felt Jasper's arm tighten around my shoulder.

"Are you cold?"

"Maybe just a little." I answered and took another mouthful from my Brandy glass as he drank his JD. As the warm liquid trickled down my throat I could feel it's warming effects filter through me immediately and blank out everything I wished not to think about. I snuggled deeper into Jasper's embrace and sighed contentedly. There was nowhere else I would rather be at that moment in time.

* * *

Late Sunday morning we decided to go for brunch at a local cafe that was only walking distance from the apartment. We had only just arrived and settled at a table outside in the Summer sun when my phone rang. It was Rose.

I looked over to Jasper apologetically and he smiled understandingly.

"Hi, Rose! How's things?"

"Bella, where are you exactly right now?" She sounded really pissed off.

"We're out having something to eat, Rose. Why, what's the matter?"

"It's Alice. She's in pieces. Peter doesn't want to see her anymore." I just knew that would happen. But so soon?

I took a deep breath. "Rose, I'm actually really pleased about that."

"What are you talking about? It's not like you to be a cold hearted b..!" I cut her off straight away.

"Rose, he's not worth arguing over. He's now my new boss." There was silence for a moment.

"What? You're kidding me, right?" I could hear the disbelief in her voice,

"Nope. He turned up Friday afternoon and was introduced to me as my new boss."

"But he didn't say anything when we met up for drinks! Fuck, Bella! What's he playing at?"

"I haven't a clue. All I want to do is not think about him until I have to, which is tomorrow morning when I get to work."

"I understand completely, Bella. Honey I'm sorry that I..."

"Rose don't worry. Just work you're magic with Alice. And give her hug from me won't you?"

"Of course I will, Bella. Enjoy the rest of your day."

"Thanks, Rose. Love you both." I sighed as Rose ended the call.

"I gather Peter stood Alice up?" Jasper said, shaking his head a little.

"Seems that way. Obviously he decided to get together with someone else." I smiled at him and he winked at me.

"Alice is better off without him. Bella are you sure..." He began.

"Jasper, please don't worry, with Tanya keeping his mind on other things it will be easier for me to keep an eye on him."

"You really are devious, aren't you Bella?"

"Not really but I am when I have to be. I just know how men's minds work." Well most of them that is. Jasper smiled again and kissed my cheek.

* * *

Monday morning seemed to arrive all too soon. Our routine now was going to be very different. With the two of us heading to different buildings, it meant that we could leave together. We drove over to my apartment first so that I could leave my car and bag there and quickly change and then Jasper drove me to work. The journey gave us just a little more time together before the working day began. We finally arrived outside my building.

"I'll see you later, then." He whispered as he reached over to where I was sitting. I turned in my seat and met him half way. Our parting kiss was warm and tender and would have to suffice until the end of the day, when Jasper would collect me from outside the building again.

I gave him a small wave as I walked across the large paved area in front of the building. As luck would have it I bumped into the one person that I intended to make time for that day. Tanya.

She smiled at me sweetly as we entered the crowded lift together. Her red suit and heady perfume was certainly not meant to be subtle today.

"So, how was your weekend?" I asked in a hushed tone.

She nodded and smiled. "Really good, thanks. He's very interesting!" She answered, blushing slightly and looking directly ahead to avoid my gaze.

"Really? So soon?" I asked, quietly.

"Oh yes!" She replied. Her face completely gave away the fact that they had obviously spent a night if not two nights together at the weekend. This plan was working very well as far as I was concerned. I smiled to myself as we got out of the lift at our floor and nodded to her as she entered the large open plan office.

When I reached my office I was quite surprised to see that Peter's door was open and he was already sitting at his desk looking very busy. I popped my head around the doorframe quickly.

"Good Morning Mr Edwards. Would you like a coffee?" If I was going to get any information out of him I would have to start by being polite.

"Oh, Bella! Yes. Yes please." He said rather distractedly. He didn't look away from the computer screen as he spoke to me. Something of importance had obviously caught his attention.

I busied myself bringing the coffee machine into life and sorting through the mail. So far, so good. I switched my computer on and began to sift through my e-mails. Most of it was the usual reminders about forthcoming meetings one of which was at twelve o'clock with Marcus. I looked at the e-mail a second time but still wasn't sure what it all meant. I left that for a moment and fixed my attention to finishing the coffee and taking Peter's cup into his office.

As I walked into his office he finally looked up and smiled. "So I take it you had a good weekend?"

I smiled politely back at him and placed his cup on the desk in front of him. He nodded his thanks and gestured with his hand for me to take a seat.

I smoothed the back of my skirt and sat down, waiting for him to speak. His eyes flitted between the screen and me for a moment until they finally came to rest on my face.

He looked at me a little seriously for a moment and then picked up his cup and took a large mouthful of the hot coffee. He obviously had an asbestos mouth to be able to do that.

He looked at me for a second over the rim of his cup. "Do you speak Italian, Bella?"

"Erm, no. I'm afraid not. Why do you need to have something translated?"

"No. No that's okay. It's not a problem." Here we go with with the cryptic sentences again. I sat there looking at him. I was finding it very hard not to start hating the man. After all he had upset one of my best friends. Well actually both of them. Rose was just as upset at having to deal with Alice because of him. There was also the little matter of him being secretive about him becoming my new boss.

He scanned my face and leaned back in his chair. I swore I could see a faint hint of a smirk across his mouth.

"We have a meeting with Marcus today. It includes you, Bella." I nodded, feeling a little uneasy at his glances and tone. "There are couple of reports to check over. Tanya is rather busy today so I thought that maybe you could help out."

"That isn't usually my job...." He looked at me harshly.

"But of course, if she really needs my help then I'm only too happy to do so." I quickly changed my tone and forgot about the original complaint.

"Good. She'll bring them into you soon. Right I suppose we'd better get on then?" Once again he nodded and turned his attention back to the screen. I sighed inwardly. This was going to be quite a difficult job, being nice and helpful. Jasper never stood for that kind of thing but then again Jasper wanted to make sure that I was happy. I doubted now that Peter had discovered the lure of Tanya my contentment with the job was not one of his priorities.

I made my way out of his room. I hadn't quite reached my desk when he called out to me.

"Bella, would you please shut the door and get me the Embry account?"

"Yes, of course Mr Edwards." I said loud enough for him to hear. I could feel that today was going to set the tone for the rest of the time that we would be in the position of boss and secretary. It was going to be a very difficult time for me. And I was sure that he would make damn sure of it.

I quickly but silently shut his door and no sooner had I sat down and Tanya walked into my office with two folders.

"I've brought these over for you, Bella. I take it Peter has explained it to you?" Her tone was sweeter than usual. She was really enjoying this a little too much.

"Yes, Mr Edwards has explained about them. I'm doing this as a favour to you Tanya so please don't think that you can do this with every report you can't handle."

"Oh, Bella. Don't worry. I have no intention of swamping you with work. You have Peter's work to do after all." She smiled her sickly sweet smile and turned on her heel and walked back to her office.

I was beginning to the think that I had made a mistake in introducing them to each other. This was going to be excruciating!

I quickly found the Embry file and took it into his office. He reached out his hand to me, not looking away from the screen. "Thanks, Bella." He said taking the file.

There was complete silence as I left the room. I would have to learn to bite my tongue. In the end it had to be worth it. It just had to be.

The morning went by really quickly. Naturally I managed to finish the two reports in good time before we had to go to the midday meeting.

At a quarter to twelve we got ready to leave. I decided to take my note book and pencil with me. I was one of the few secretaries who could write shorthand. It came in very useful sometimes especially as it meant I didn't have to look at anyone while the meeting was going on. I had a feeling that this was not any ordinary meeting judging by the way that Peter was shifting from one foot to the other in the lift on the way up to the plush penthouse office.

As we stepped out of the lift I had almost completely forgotten how amazing this floor was. I hadn't been up here more than twice in the previous twelve months. The lobby leading to the area where Heidi, his secretary, was ensconsed seemed to be decorated in old Ventian style. The floors were Italian marble and beautiful murals were painted on both the walls and the ceiling. It was as if the idea of the Sistine Chapel had been lavishly exported to Seattle. The area had me standing in awe once again. The noise of my high heels made me feel rather selfconcious as we approached Heidi's desk.

She looked up at us and smiled. Heidi had been working for Marcus for many years. She was an extremely kind person and was very helpful when I first arrived in Seattle. Heidi was one of those people that if something needed doing for anyone within the company, she would be the person to organise it. Nothing was too much trouble for her. You could almost call her the Matriach of the building, if there was such a title. Her blonde yet greying hair was cut into a neat bob and her glasses, as usual, were perched on the end of her nose. She was wearing a smart two piece Chanel suit in a soft red, that fitted her slender figure perfectly.

She stood from her chair as we approached and removed her glasses, placing them on the desk. "Bella! it's good to see you. How are things?" I couldn't think that her query was anything other than sincere.

"Really good, thank you Heidi." I smiled and noted with interest that she looked kindly at Peter and nodded slightly.

"I take it you've settled into your new office Peter?" He smiled back at her.

"Yes, thanks, Heidi. Of course with Bella there to help, I'm sure I will feel at home very quickly." My, wasn't he full of charm when it was necessary. I couldn't imagine anyone being rude to Heidi. I should think that if that did ever happen then they would be given short shrift, quickly.

The intercom on Heidi's desk buzzed and she quickly answered it. A familiar voice spoke. "Heidi? Have Peter and Bella arrived?"

"Yes, Marcus. Would you like me to send them in to you?"

"Yes, Heidi and would you arrange for coffee to be served."

"Of course Marcus."

"Thank you."

We waited for Heidi to walk around the desk and stand just ahead of us ready to walk the rest of the hallway with us. The only noise came from the high heels that both Heidi and I wore.

I really couldn't understand why but I still felt a little nervous about going into this meeting. I took a couple of deep breaths in order to settle myself a little and Heidi opened the large oak door.

Marcus was sitting behind his large expansive desk at the far end of the room. He was framed by a large wall of glass, giving a perfect view of the Seattle sky line.

He looked up as we walked in. Heidi shut the door behind us. I followed Peter as he moved towards where Marcus was seated. Peter held out his hand to Marcus at which point Marcus stood and moved around the desk and shook Peter's hand.

"It's good to see you Peter! How are you settling in on your first official day?"

"Just fine, Sir." He answered and sat down in one of the large winged leather chairs in front of the desk.

Marcus held his hand out in my direction. I gave him a small smile and moved towards him.

As he took my hand in his, he completely surprised me by bringing it to his lips and kissing the back of my hand. He gave me a soft smile as he let my hand go.

"I trust you are well, Bella? Remember, Peter." He began not looking over to where Peter was seated. "Bella is one of the best secretaries that we have in this company. You are very fortunate to have her working for you. Do you understand me Peter?" I blinked for a moment not quite sure if I heard Marcus correctly. This certainly was turning out to be rather a strange meeting.

Marcus gestured for me to sit in the winged chair, set adjacent to where Peter was sitting. I cast my eyes down to the floor as Marcus stood for a moment observing me.

I perched myself rather nervously on the edge of the seat, getting my notebook and pencil ready. I looked over to Marcus out of the corner of my eye as he turned and walked back to the other side of the desk and sat down once again. The room fell silent for a moment. I kept my gaze on the note pad in front of me, waiting for the meeting to begin.

"I take it your mother is well, Peter?" The conversation was quite surreal. It was almost as if Marcus where filling in time before he had something extremely significant to announce.

Heidi brought in a tray set with china coffee cups and set about pouring out the coffee. She set down on the desk in front of Marcus and Peter, black coffees and then set down a cup for me and added cream. Heidi never seemed to forget anyone's preference for coffee or tea. She amazed me with her memory.

As Heidi left the room Marcus took a mouthful of his coffee and then resumed the conversation with Peter.

"Is she happy with the new house?" Fuck me if it didn't sound like some family get together right now!

"Yes, Sir. She is very happy. You will be able to attend the house warming party I take it?" Okay, so they did know each other socially. Lucky Peter!

I kept my gaze on the notebook in my lap.

"So, Bella! What do you think of my nephew then?" My head snapped up to look at Marcus. Nephew! Shit! Now I really did have to watch what I would say and do around Peter. My face must have looked a picture because Marcus frowned slightly and looked over to Peter.

"You didn't tell Bella then." He stated, sounding none to pleased.

"It shouldn't make any difference, Sir." Marcus stared hard at Peter as if he were a petulant child.

"I have always regarded honesty as the best policy, Peter." He said, almost under his breath. If it were not for the fact that the room was extremely quite I may not have heard him.

"Yes, Bella this is my sister's son. He has earnt this position within the company but that doesn't mean that he can take advantage of his secretary's good nature."

He looked once again at Peter. "Have you told Bella of the trip?" Trip? What fucking trip?

"No, Sir. Not yet." Peter answered, lowering his head as if in shame.

"Oh, for goodness sake, Peter. Whatever is the matter with you! The flight is tomorrow!" He sound exasperated.

Marcus focused his gaze on me and I boldly lifted my head and looked at him. He smiled slightly and yet it wasn't friendly.

"Peter has a meeting to attend. You are to travel with him, Bella. It is a very important meeting. It is very important that Peter does not mess it up. For want of a better word."

I looked at Marcus blankly and then blinked a couple of times.

"How long for?" I asked rather absentmindedly. My mind was spinning with this information. I really didn't want to go away right now. I wanted to stay with Jasper. Travelling with Peter was the last thing I wanted to do. Maybe Tanya could go in my place. Maybe ....

"Four days, Bella. So, you will both have the rest of the day off in order to prepare. You will be flying in the company plane. Everything is arranged. All you need is your luggage and of course your passport."

I just knew that my nervous disposition about this meeting was for a reason!

"Where will we be flying to?" I asked, trying not to sound too anxious.

"Milan, Bella! The financial capital of Italy." He announced and promptly drained his coffee cup.

If I had been standing I was sure that I would have fallen to the floor in a dead faint. Milan. A very beautiful city. My very first time of travelling outside of the United States and I was going to Milan!

**End of Chapter**

**Author's note;** Wow! Lucky Bella going to Milan. But of course if you have been following the story you will remember something quite important about this destination. I wonder if anyone can remember? Hit the green button and see if you get it right. Until next time, take care.


	20. Chapter 20

**Author's note; **Many thanks to those of you who reviewed the previous chapter. Thank you also to those of you who have added this story to their Favourites/Story Alerts Lists. You are all very kind. This chapter deals with Bella's reaction to the news that she is going to Milan. And how will Jasper cope? Enjoy.

**Disclaimer; **I do not own Twilight but I love to mess with the characters.

**Agony and Ecstacy**

Family ties

Peter and I made our way back to our respective offices in complete silence. He didn't look in my direction for the whole time we were in the lift. I was hoping that he felt a certain amount shame that his uncle had chastised him in front of me. Maybe now he had been brought down a peg or two, he would stop acting so arrogantly around me. Only time would tell.

As we reached my office door he gestured for me to walk ahead. I gave a small nod of thanks and walked straight over to the coffee machine. I really needed a strong one this time!

"I don't expect you to stay any longer than you need to, Bella." I turned to look at him as he spoke. Yes, his attitude had begun to change already but I was not going to hold my breath for long. It seemed that the stern warning from Marcus had not been lost on him after all.

"I'll make sure that these reports get back to Tanya and then I'll go. I'll let Jessica know that I'll be away. She's quite capable of the checking the mail as it arrives on my desk." He nodded his agreement.

I was relieved that he was not going to argue on that point. Just because he was sleeping with Tanya did not mean that that gave her carte blanche to take over my position as Peter's secretary. I didn't usually ask Tanya to help out whenever I was away and was certainly not going to begin now!

"A car will collect you from your apartment at one in the morning." I looked at him hard and tried not to say what was on the tip of my tongue at that moment. Fucker!

He knew all of the details about this trip but for reasons best known to himself had decided that he would not share the information with me this morning. It was going to be very hard for me to forgive him for this. I suppose he thought that I would try and back out of this trip and on that thought he was correct. But when Marcus, the man at the top, tells you that you _will_ be going, then saying no is not a factor in the greater scheme of things.

I swallowed hard to maintain my rising temper and looked him straight in the eye. "I had better get a move one then. I doubt that I will be expected to be wearing jeans and t-shirts while I'm in Milan. It seems that I will have to fit in a little shopping trip this afternoon before I go home." I said sharply, keeping my face devoid of expression.

He half turned away from me, I only hoped, to avoid my stare. He seemed to be a little uncomfortable at that moment and I was glad. He walked over to his office door and paused for a moment, his hand gripping the door handle.

"If you do need to buy anything, Bella, please charge it to the company account. I wouldn't dream of you going to Milan without suitable clothes for the meetings. Can I also suggest that you take a cocktail dress as well. One of the meetings we will be attending involves an evening out." He nodded to himself as if he were checking off a mental list of things. I stood waiting to see if he had anymore surprises up his sleeve. Without another word he entered his office and shut the door. Okay then maybe not!

I quickly cleared my desk and picked up the reports and put them on Tanya's desk. I was not in the least bit surprised that she was still out to lunch and left her a message that the reports just needed to be signed.

I also left a message for Jessica about my sudden trip to Milan and in no uncertain words gave her instructions not to let Tanya near my desk while I was away.

With that done, I gathered my things and left the office, not bothering to inform Peter. His door was still firmly shut so I took that as a 'do not disturb' signal. I felt a great sense of relief when I finally reached the ground floor and stepped out into the fresh air. I drew in a large breath and decided then that I should text Jasper with my news. I really didn't have any idea as to how he would react. We had not been in this situation before but then the memory of me asking to have two weeks holiday came flooding back. The reaction on his face at the request, I now understood, was one of panic that I was going to be away. A smile played on my lips as I remembered how pleased and elated he was when he visited the island and paid me that unexpected visit. I doubted very much that he would be happy about my trip but somehow I would find a way to placate him.

_Hi darling._

_Have been told, unexpectedly, that I am going to Milan for four days to attend meetings. I'm going shopping for a few things and will get a cab home. See you there later and I will explain everything._

_Love you._

_Bx._

His reply arrived within seconds.

_Bella._

_I'm not happy about this, obviously. See you later. I will try and get a way early if I can._

_Love you too._

_Jx._

I let out a sigh of relief that he seemed calm about it all and shut my phone. First things first; retail therapy. The expensive kind!

After two hours of shopping behind me I decided that it would be a good idea to get home and prepare a meal for for when Jasper finished work. It would be better to sit and eat at home rather than go out for something. I had to get packed and ready and spend as much time with Jasper as was possible before I left.

As the cab pulled up at my apartment building I gathered my purchases and made my way upstairs.

I made quick work of the packing, leaving the new cocktail dress I had bought, to be packed last of all. I stood and looked at it for a moment. It certainly was expensive but was a neccessary item. It was a strapless, figure hugging creation and the deep shade of purple meant that my little black bolero jacket would team up with it very well. I made sure that I packed my black evening shoes and my black silk purse. I was really quite excited about having a reason to wear such a lovely dress. Evening meetings had not been something that Jasper and I had ever been asked to attend.

I pulled myself away from the dress and got busy in the kitchen preparing the meal for the evening. Lemon chicken with pan fried potatoes and French beans. We had been eating quite a lot of take out food recently so it was nice just to be able to spend time in the kitchen and get creative.

The afternoon seemed to pass very quickly. When I put the chicken in the oven, I glanced up at the kitchen clock. It was already five o'clock. Jasper didn't finish work until half past so I decided to take a shower before he got home which would save me time later.

Once the water got up to temperature I stood still for a moment under the cascading water. One thing I did hope was that the hotel in Milan would have a decent shower. If I was going to have to put up with Peter for four days then I would need to have a relaxing shower probably twice a day! I could feel a little of the tension rise in me already and chastised myself mentally, for even thinking about him just then. Sometime in the early morning would be soon enough!

I began to wash my hair and immediately the smell of the strawberry shampoo mingled with the steam, filling the room with the heavenly scent. I further relaxed as I rinsed the shampoo out of my hair.

The first thing I knew that Jasper was home was the gentle kiss he placed on my back just between my shoulder blades, as he rested his hands on my hips. My spine tingled under his touch.

"You are the most beautiful sight I have seen all day, darlin." I could tell by his voice that he was smiling. Instanly my body reacted. The sensitive coil deep within me began to tighten. My nipples puckered as if they had been exposed to cold air and yet warm water was still cascading over my entire body.

He reached around the front of my body and cupped my left breast, his other hand traced down over my stomach and towards my now very sensitive folds. He brushed a finger over my clit, eliciting a gentle moan from me. As I leaned against his body I could feel how my arousal was already building. He trailed his hand from one breast to the other, cupping it and holding me closer to him.

As he pinched and tweeked at my nipple he lavished kisses along my shoulders and at the nape of my neck. I was beginning to have trouble breathing. I seemed to be gasping for air and yet he was only touching me. But for me that was all it needed to be. Just his touch. And just as he plunged his finger into me, my first small but nonetheless delicious orgasm spread through my centre, not yet reaching the other parts of my body.

"I don't want you to go, Bella. I want you to stay here. But I know that will be impossible. So when you're in Milan standin' in the shower I want you to think of me. I want you to remember this and what I'm doin' to you now and how I'm makin' you feel and how you come for me with just the slightest touch. You are so responsive. And when you touch yourself you are goin' to think that I am right there with you just as I will be thinkin' of you when I stand in the shower and when I'm alone in bed. You will be the only one who fills my thoughts while you're away."

The ache in me increased ten fold as he spoke, his voice full of lust and his cock hardening against me each time he took a breath and plunged his finger into me. I couldn't take anymore. I needed him to be inside me. I reached out and braced my hands against the cold white tiles and looked over my shoulder at him as I spread my legs, parting them but still maintaining the right height for Jasper to enter me. He was grinning as he hands slid to my hips once again, this time with a firmer grip. He positioned himself directly behind me.

He didn't need anymore encouragement than that. I pushed against the tiles and held still as he entered me. A guttural moan fell from my mouth at the sensation of him completely filling me and another orgasm coursed through my body. As he began to thrust into me I could feel another wave build within me. He ran his hands gently up and down my back in time with his movements.

I could hear the water still cascading from the shower head but no longer falling on me. It was falling over Jasper's body and I visualised all of the places on him that the water would be running down, envious of every droplet and felt the water filter between our connected bodies. My mind raced with the image of how Jasper looked behind me. I knew his face so well now, when we made love. The way he would bite is bottom lip in concentration, his eyes tightly shut while he absorbed the feelings coursing through him. Feeling me pulsating around him. Feeling every orgasm that he caused and controlling all the other sensations that ran throughout my body.

"Oh God, Bella. You feel unbelievable!" He moaned, his breathing becoming more laboured and strained. I had reached the point now when I couldn't begin to fathom where one orgasm ended and another began. The intensity was mounting and I knew that the final mind blowing wave would wash over me very soon. My arms began to ache as I pressed harder into the tiles to keep my body just where it was needed for Jasper to maintain his pace. The muscles in my thighs began to shake from the tension of keeping them apart and the intensity that was building. I bowed my head forward only to have Jasper reach for my hair and fist it in his hand. He pulled my head back up by my hair and I half turned my head to look at him over my shoulder once again.

"Look at me, Bella." He gasped urgently. "I want to see your face as I fuck you." His words were like fuel to the fire at that moment. I could at once feel the heat radiate from my centre. I jutted my hips into his just a fraction more and straight away he hit my g-spot. I closed my eyes as I felt the final orgasm begin. More powerful than the previous sensations and this time uncontrollable. I became acutely aware of my throbbing breasts jolting in time with his final deep trusts. He let go of my hair and gripped my hips hard, digging his fingers into my flesh. Holding me tight against him and stopping any movement on my part.

As he called out my name he spilled into me, still holding me firm. As my final climax washed over me, my head fell forward between my arms, my cool damp hair falling around my face. I could feel how hot my cheeks were compared to my hair and relished the change in temperature. I pulsated around him, milking him and then finally felt my legs begin to give way.

Jasper quickly reacted by putting his arms around my waist, straightening me up, allowing my outstretched arms to fall to my sides. He held me close to his chest as I caught my breath and felt us slowly disconnect. The water was only luke warm now but what warmth there was he made sure that it ran over both our bodies as we relaxed into each other. Moments later he reached around me and switched the water off.

"Are you okay, to stand for a moment? I'll get you a towel, darlin'." He whispered gently. I nodded and gave a small smile in response. I was completely spent. I fully understood the urgency in him had been borne from being told that I would be away. I was hopeful that he would now be calm to listen to all that I had to tell him of the days events.

He stepped into the shower again with a towel wrapped around his hips, holding out a large towel for me and draping it around my shoulders. He gently led me out of the shower and we both stood on the towelling bath mat as he rubbed his hands over my towel and dried me off. He then retrieved my large white, towelling robe and helped me to put it on. I smiled my thanks at his thoughtfullness.

He took my hand in his and lead me into the living room and gestured for me to sit down on the couch. I didn't hesitate and plopped onto the couch, curling my legs under me and turning so that I would be able to watch him in the kitchen. He quickly checked all the food and began to serve it up. I sat there smiling to myself that he knew how hopeless I was as far as having any kind of stamina after he had fucked me so hard. It seemed that we instinctively knew what the other person needed at any given time. I felt extremely happy and cared for at that moment.

Once he had shared the food between the two plates, he brought everything out to the living room and set the plates of food and cutlery on the coffee table so that he could fetch two glasses of water. He made himself comfortable when he finally sat down and we both began to eat.

"Umm." He began, taking his first mouthful of the lemon chicken. "Thanks for this, Bella. It tastes delicious. So?" He asked and looked over to me and gave me a small nod. My cue to begin explaining my day to him and specifically the details of the trip to Milan, without a doubt.

"We had a meeting with Marcus at twelve today. Did you know that Peter is his nephew?" Jasper stopped eating for a moment, his fork suspended in mid air. I watched his face as he looked at me once again. His eyes were wide at first. He was obviously surprised at the information. Then his eyes narrowed slighty.

"So you didn't know." I stated and he shook his head slowly.

"I understood that they had relatives still living in Italy but it seems that he has now moved over here to set up home."

"Yes, Marcus asked Peter if his mother liked her new home." I quickly took another mouthful of food before I continued.

"So there they were having this little family reunion and then Marcus mentioned the trip that apparently Peter knew about the minute he arrived at work this morning. I can't tell you how angry I was at that moment. I wasn't even sure that I understood what he was playing at."

"It seems that there is some kind of game goin' on, Bella. It all feels a little weird to me. Are you sure there's no way that you can get out of goin'?" I could tell by his tone that he really was concerned about me going. I smiled at him to show him that there nothing to worry about.

"No, Jasper." I replied calmly. "Marcus said so himself, that I was to go. I really will be alright, darling. I think I scared the shit out of Peter because he couldn't look me straight in the face when we left the meeting. He looked very uneasy and even said that I was to charge anything that I needed to buy for this trip, to the company account!"

Jaspers eyes widen again and his eyebrows arched. "I take it you bought something nice?" He enquired, a grin playing on his lips.

"I'll show you later. I have to finish packing." We quickly finished our meal and Jasper gathered the plates and cutlery and took everything out to the kitchen. Before he even had a chance to begin the washing up, I called out to him.

"Jasper, please leave those. Come and sit next to me." He turned from the sink without being asked again and walked over to me, settled down on the couch and wraped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him.

"We should think about havin' a holiday together sometime soon." He whispered as he absentmindedly ran his fingers through my damp hair.

"That would be really lovely. Where would we go?" I turned a little in his arms and snaked my arm around his waist hooking my thumb over the top of the towel. I kissed his chest and watched as it rose and fell a little quicker.

"Somewhere warm and sunny. We could go to Rio de Janeiro if you like. There are lovely beaches there, the people are friendly and the food is good." He kissed the top of my head and we both sighed at the same time.

"That sounds wonderful, darling. D'you think we could go sometime when the Winter sets in here? It would be lovely to get some sun then."

"Absolutely. I could look into that while you're away. Apart from work, there won't be anything else for me to do." He squeezed my shoulders a little in a reassuring way. "That will help the time to pass quicker. Four days seems such a long time to be without you." He whispered.

I smiled and straightened up in his arms to kiss his mouth."Before you know it, I'll be back. Besides messages would be most welcome." I smiled.

"Oh don't you worry. I'll be sendin' messages, morin', noon and night. You 'll have to ring me when you're not busy in meetings." I nooded, my cheek now resting on his shoulder.

"I'll do that. Do you think I'd be pushing my luck if I went shopping out there and charged it to the company account?"

He let out a small laugh. "You know, Bella I wouldn't be at all surprised if they allowed you to get away with that!"

"I'll have to try then, won't I?" I hugged him hard. I was just so relieved that even though he wasn't happy about me going there wasn't going to be any drama about the situation.

"Right." I said as I pulled myself away from him and stood up. I reached out my hand towards him. He took it and stood up. "You need to have a look at this dress before it gets packed away and then I suppose I had better get a little rest before the flight."

He quirked an eyebrow at me and leaned in to gently brush his lips against mine. "You don't need to rest before the flight. You'd be better off sleepin' for most of the flight. It's goin' to be a long time havin' to put up with Peter's company. If you're asleep for most of it, it won't seem so bad."

"Ummm that sounds like a really good idea. Come to the bedroom and let me show you a couple of new things then!" I grinned and pulled him along behind me.

Jasper completely approved of the new dress and the other items that I had bought for the trip. I quickly packed the last few things, making sure that I had everything ready so that in a few hours time I knew that there would not be any last minute panicking on my part.

Jasper placed my small suitcase and carry on bag by the front door for me and left my purse with my passport and everything else I needed on the breakfast bar, close by.

As he made his way back to the bedroom, I was already lying down on the bed waiting for him.

This time we made love. This time there was not the urgency in him. This time he was slow, gentle and patient.

"I love you, so much." I whispered as we rolled over the bed, our limbs entwined, our breathing laboured. My whole body tingled at the slightest touch of his fingers on my back and my hips, across my shoulders and over my breasts. We kissed each other passionately time and time again.

"And I love you, Bella, more than anything in the world." His words were food for my soul and I devoured them hungrily.

As we both climaxed together, clinging to each other, words of love fell from out lips.

We lay in each others arms for a while, enjoying the silence that now filled the room and I peppered his face with kisses.

"Will you keep an eye on my apartment for me?" I hadn't had time to organise anything with Rose or Alice for that matter, as everything was so last minute.

"Uh huh, as long as you don't mind if I sleep over a couple of nights in your bed." I snuggled into his chest and relished the feel of his breath fanning over my forehead.

"That's fine with me." I answered, trying hard not to fall asleep. I decided to get up and freshen up while Jasper rested. He was soon fast asleep once I was dressed and ready for my journey. I made myself a light snack and a fairly strong coffee, did the washing up and then set about fixing my hair up in a messy bun and putting on a little make up for the journey.

I had ten minutes before the car was due to collect me. I whispered goodbye to Jasper as he lay fast asleep, sprawled out on my bed. I was filled with mixed emotions as I looked at his sleeping form and contented face. I was excited that I was going to be visiting such a lovely city but felt sad that Jasper was not coming with me.

With only five minutes to spare I gathered up my things and quietly left the building. No sooner had I reached the street and a black limo was waiting outside the building. The driver got out and tilted his uniform hat to me.

"Miss Swan?" He asked gently. I acknowleged him with a nod and a smile.

The driver held the door open for me and stowed my luggage away as I got into the back of the lovely car. I settled on the back seat and the driver announced that we would be collecting Peter on the way to the airport.

Some twenty minutes later we pulled up to a rather large and expensive looking house on the outskirts of Seattle. I could only assume that this was where Peter and his mother lived. The house was impressive, built with double bow fronted windows and a large white front door. From what I could see of the front garden in the darkness, it was perfect. They were obviously used to a certain lifestyle. It made me wonder what kind of life they had back in Italy and why they were moved to America. I was sure that I would have the opportunity to ask these questions and even more sure that I would get the answers.

Peter left the house following the driver to the car and made himself comfortable as his luggage was being put away. He sat a couple of feet away from me and gave me a nod and a smile.

"I'm sorry that it's so early in the morning, Bella. The flight is obviously quite a long one but you will be able to get some rest once we're on the plane." His tone surprised me. It was as if he had done a complete one eighty. He seemed genuine and this certainly was another side to him as yet, I had not seen. Maybe the journey would not be so bad after all if Peter was going to continue being as considerate as he was now.

The rest of the journey to the airport was silent yet comfortable and after the necessary checks and paperwork, we were soon on board the private company plane.

As I made myself comfortable and ready for take off, the butterflies congregated in the pit of my stomach. The mixture of emotions rose in me once again as I visualized the beautiful city of Milan that was my destination and Jasper's sleeping form in my bed that was behind me now.

**End of Chapter**

**Author's note; **Oh, I do hope that Peter does behave himself now, don't you?! While I begin to work on the next chapter and figure out the ups and downs of her visit to Milan, you can show me how much you want more by pressing the green button. Take care until next time.


	21. Chapter 21

**Authior's note;** Many thanks to all of you who reviewed the previous chapter and to those of you who have added this story to their Favourites/Story Alerts Lists. I am thrilled that you are enjoying this story as much as it seems that I enjoy writing it. Bella arrives in Milan. I wonder what will happen and will Peter behave himself? Let's find out shall we? Enjoy.

**Disclaimer;** I do not own Twilight but this story owns me!

**Agony and Ecstasy**

Getting to know you

We touched down at Milan airport at about eleven in the morning. Fortunately the flight was comfortable and I had managed to get a considerable amount of sleep, plenty of food and drink and actually spent a fair amount of time chatting with Peter. He talked about Itay in general with such passion and fond memories. He had lived there most of his childhood and spent the large majoritiy of it living in Milan. He had been educated in England and America and had travelled extensively over the years for holidays and business. He spoke fondly of his parents and the idillic childhood he had with them before his father died suddenly when he was only twelve years old.

I was beginning to warm to him. It seemed that away from the confines of office politics, meetings and the pressure of keeping his Uncles happy with his business skills, he was actually a human being and very personable. But there was more, I could sense it and whatever it was, he was holding it back. He skirted around the reasons for his move to America, I could sense it. No one could love a country as he did and leave it without something life changing having happened. I would find out sooner or later. Over the next four days of our trip there was bound to be an opportunity to ask those questions and get straight answers.

We were met by another chauffer driven black limo that took us to our hotel. I sat like a child, watching in awe, as we made our way through the streets of Milan. I half turned my body to look straight out of the rear passenger widow and look at the sights of this beautiful city.

"What do you think then, Bella?" Peter asked, I smiled at the scenery that passed by.

"It's absolutely beautiful. How could you possibly leave this city? If I lived here I don't think wild horses could drag me away." He gave a small chuckle.

"It's a different matter when you live here twenty four seven, Bella. I must admit the city does have a lot more charm than Seattle. There's so much history attached to this city, in more ways than one. Of all the places I've visited, this is the one place in the world that I feel the most relaxed in." And there it was, once again the cryptic message that I'm sure he realised would not be lost on me

"Why on earth did you leave Milan, Peter?" I asked, not even turning to look at him as I spoke. The buildings and the bustle of the city held my attention for the entire journey. Just as the words left my mouth, I realised that I had called him by his first name. Until now I had either addressed him as Mr Edwards or by no name at all.

It seemed that the simple fact that he was more relaxed and talking freely instead of being an insufferable shit, had begun to seep into my subconscious.

I continued to fix my gaze on the streets of Milan as I mused over this slight shift in our relationship. His abrupt manner was probably all a facade after all. If I had to leave a city like this after years of living in it, I would no doubt be somewhat aggrieved and bad tempered about it. I would certainly find it hard to come to terms with.

"Family is very important to Italians. Family loyalty is something that cannot be ignored. When the head of the household says jump, then you ask how high _as_ you jump. No questions asked." His words hung heavy in the confines of the limo. Not another word was spoken by either of us.

The limo finally pulled up to the main doors of the UNA Hotel Cusani. We were assisted out of the back of the limo and our luggage was carried inside. The hotel was situated near the Castello Sforzesco and the breathtaking Duomo. Peter pointed out the historic buildings to me and I stood for a moment transfixed to take in the sight and my bearings.

"I'll get the schedule of the meetings from the front desk, Bella and you'll be able to arrange to do some sightseeing while you're here." I turned to him and smiled. He motioned for us to enter the hotel. He didn't seem to be putting on an act, his change of attitude towards me I considered, had to be down to Marcus and that he was where he felt the happiest. Maybe working as Peter's secretary was not going to be so bad after all. It certainly would make life a hell of a lot easier for both of us!

We made our way to the front desk to sign in and were then ushered to the lifts to head up to our rooms. The hotel was extremely modern with clean lines and muted colours. It shouted luxury and certainly was the most luxurious hotel I had ever stayed at.

As we exited the lift at our floor and walked along the wall to wall carpeted hallway, I realised that the distance between the doors indicated that these were not just individual rooms but suites. Peter was the first to be shown his suite, three doors down the hallway from mine. Just as I reached my door, Peter called from his doorway to me.

"Bella!" I turned to look over in his direction.

"I'll knock for you in about an hour, if that's okay? We should have some lunch and go over the schedule together." I nodded in agreement to him and he smiled back at me, warmly.

As I entered, I was shown the various areas of the suite and then left alone, so I decided to quickly unpack my luggage and have a shower to freshen up properly from the journey. I wraped myself up in the lovely towelling robe that hung on the back of the bathroom door and towel dried my hair as I walked around the suite, taking in the very smart sophistication if the rooms and the lovely view onto the square. I felt very spoilt by having a suite. I would have been more than happy with a smaller room as long as it had a double bed.

The very large bed and bedroom furniture were screened off from the rest of the suite by a wall of obscured glass sliding doors framed in cherry wood. There was a comfortable sitting area at one end of the living area with a flatscreen hung midway on a wall and at the other end a square dining table with four chairs that could double as an impromtu meeting table. The bathroom was beautifully tiled in white and yes, the shower was a very relaxing place to be. The whole suite was decorated in soft white with cherry wood furniture that contrasted pleasingly.

I dried my hair quickly and allowed it hang loosely for the afternoon and put on a simple navy skirt and cream coloured, silk blouse that I had bought the day before, compliments of the Company.

There was a knock at the door that I could only assume was Peter.

"It's only me, Bella." Are you ready to go and get something to eat?" Peter's muffled voice filtered through the wooden door as I slipped on my shoes. I grabbed my purse from the end of the bed and smoothed down my skirt as I opened the door to him.

"Yep, I'm ready!" I answered smiling. He stood for a moment, his eyes unfocused and then as if he suddenly realised that he was blocking my exit, stepped to the side and gestured for me to walk ahead. I smiled my thanks and we made our way down to the hotel restaurant.

Peter placed our order, obviously in perfect Italian and produced from the inside pocket of his dark blue suit jacket, a folded piece of paper and flattened it out before him on the table. As he took a sip of his water I looked around the room. It again, like everywhere else in this hotel was decorated in muted tones and familiar cherry wood tables and chairs. The tables were dressed with crisp white linen and laid as if for a banquet. I sighed inwardly with relief that my first trip abroad was going to be such a happy memory in the years to come and wondered briefly if all the company employees were privvy to such luxury wherever they travelled. I had absolutely no doubt that it was so.

"Right, Bella." Peter began, bringing my 'surroundings filled' mind back to the table. "The first meeting is at ten in the morning. We have one of the small conference rooms booked for two hours and then the rest of the day is free." He looked up at me from the piece of paper and I acknowledged his words.

"You did bring a suitable dress for the evening, I take it?" He asked, raising his eyebrows to magnify his question.

"Of course, Peter! Do you doubt any woman would pass up the opportunity to wear a gratis given dress for a special occassion?"

His face relaxed and a broad grin emerged.

"I woudn't expect anything less, Bella. For a woman to pass up the opportunity of wearing a new dress for whatever reason would be like a man turning down a beautiful woman's invitation. Unthinkable." He chuckled lightly as he sat back in his chair, allowing the meal to be served.

I registered a slight blush rise in my cheeks. His words had caught me off guard and as he noted my embarrassment he smiled at me in a very unfamiliar way. I had never seen him, until now, so relaxed and almost playful. Even the couple of times that we had met socially, before he became my boss, I hadn't seen him like this. Then he only made me feel uncomfortable but now he was somehow different.

I really didn't have any reply at that moment and decided to let the moment pass and began to eat.

"So, what are you going to do with the rest of your day, Bella?" He asked, as he busied himself with pouring the wine and eating enthusiastically.

"Well, I think it would be a waste not to do some sightseeing. I'll pick up a map from the front desk once I've eaten. Where do you think I should start?" I looked at him from my plate of colourful and flavoursome spinach and ricotta cannelloni.

"Without a doubt the Duomo. It might be a good idea if you wore something a little more comfortable for sightseeing though. You turn heads enough as it is, Bella. Going out as you are, you would more than likely cause an accident!" He laughed freely, as once again my cheeks coloured, I was positive, a deeper shade than before.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I really shouldn't make you blush like that. But seriously getting changed would be advisable. Would you like me to arrange a guide to take you to some of the sights?" I looked at him, slightly taken aback by the offer.

"No." I answered slowly. "I'm sure I won't get lost. I am quite capable of reading a map you know." I huffed jokingly, feeling myself relax into the easy atmosphere that was now beginning to evolve between us.

"I can assure you, Bella that there is no doubt on my part about any of your capabilities. Marcus in no uncertain words, put me firmly in my place on that score. I don't suppose you had realised to what extent you are valued within the company and especially to those in charge?" His question hung between us, heavy and loaded.

I was totally unable to answer him. I dropped my gaze from his and turned my attention to the remainder of my food. Of course I knew how much I _had_ been valued by one particular person and the memory of that made my stomach flip.

Peter leaned forward in his chair and placed his fork down on his now empty plate.

"I'm sorry, Bella." He began in a hushed tone. "I really have embarrassed you now. I can't believe that my Uncle has not, until this week, acknowledged to you, how valued you are. That was the reason why you were not transferred with Jasper. Who else was going to keep me in check so diligently?" Even though his tone was light, mentioning Jasper's name at that moment made me feel that all I wanted to do was take the first flight home. Back to my bed where he was still fast asleep.

An unfamiliar heaviness settled in my stomach and I placed my fork down on the unfinished food and took a small sip of my wine.

"I'm sorry, Peter but if it's alright with you I'll go and get changed and do some sightseeing. As I stood from the table, Peter rose slightly from his chair. His manners were impeccable.

"Of course, Bella. There's no point in wasting what little time you have here in Milan, sitting here with me. Would you like to meet for dinner? It might be a good idea to do so, so that we can go over the key points of the meeting in the morning." I nodded to him and turned to leave.

"Bella!" He said softly. I halted at the edge of the table and looked over to him, once again seated. "I'm sorry." And he was. I could see it in his eyes. But I was not sure what it was he was sorry for. A myriad of emotions ran through me at that moment. I gave him a small forced smile and left the restaurant to go back to my room.

Indeed, how much did he know? The fact that he was well aware of my relationship with Jasper, meant that without a doubt so was Marcus. To my way of thinking everything seemed to have been planned. From Peter being moved from his beloved Italy for whatever reason to Jasper being promoted and moved to another building and not allowing me to work along side him. None of it added up to being unplanned. The more I thought about it, the more I was sure that none of it happened by chance. But I was not going to get any answers by reacting towards Peter the way I had. Yes, he had embarrassed me and caught me totally off guard. That was not going to happen again.

The chance to walk around in the bright sunshine and take in the atmosphere of the streets of Milan, re-invigorated me. Having changed into jeans and a sensible pair of shoes, map in hand, I made my way along the streets to the wonderful sight of the Duomo. I stood outside of the building for a moment reading the information about its history. This was something that I wanted to share with Jasper and so I took my cell phone out of the back pocket of my jeans and pressed his speed dial number.

His familiar voice at once calmed me. I instinctively smiled.

"Hey, darlin'."

"Hi, Jasper. Guess where I am right now?"

"Well, I would like to think that you are in Milan but I take it by the noise in the background you're not indoors." I laughed lightly feeling any anxiousness dissipate at his words and the sound of his voice.

"To be precise I am standing outside the Duomo just about to go in and have a look around." I answered excitedly.

"Wow!" He began. "I've never seen that place. Only pictures. I take it the city is beautiful?"

"It is, darling. Maybe we should put this city on our list of places we should see together."

"Duly noted, Bella. So, I take it that the flight was okay and that Peter is behavin' himself?"

"Yes, the flight was extremely comfortable and yes, Peter is behaving himself. He's a very different person in more familiar surroundings. He's being an absolute gentleman. Milan must agree with him."

"That's good to hear, darlin'. Can I ring you later, in my lunch break? That will make it about nine over there. Is that okay?" I smiled at the thought of hearing his voice at the end of the day and exchanging news.

"That would be a perfect end to my day, Jasper."

"Right, we'll talk more then, darlin'. I want a detailed description of the places you see today. Your news will be far more interestin' than mine, that's for sure."

"Okay then. Speak to you later, Jasper. Have a good day." I began to walk towards the entrance of the Duomo.

"Later, Bella. I love you." He whispered

"I love you too, darling." I whispered back and ended the call as I entered the building.

When I finally returned to the hotel some three hours later, my feet felt as if they had walked miles and I probably had without actually realising it. The city was far too awe inspiring to calculate exactly how many miles I had walked.

I was handed a message from the front desk as I made my way over to the lifts. It was a note from Peter that he had booked a table for half past seven.

That gave me precisely half an hour to freshen up and change. No problem. Since I was not a particularily high maintenace kind of woman, I would certainly be ready and taking my seat at the table by that time.

By half past I was showered, changed and indeed sitting down ready for my evening meal. After all the fresh air and walking I had managed to do, I was ravenous.

I opted for a steak meal, as did Peter.

He asked me what I thought of Milan and he listened intently as I gushed about the beauty of the place. He smiled as I spoke, seemingly proud that a first time visitor had enjoyed themselves so much. He in turn told me of a few friends that he had called in on and had shared a bottle of wine with. It seemed that he had a wide circle of friends in and around Milan that he hoped to see while he was here. Our conversation was relaxed and the feelings of embarrassment that I had felt earlier were now a distant memory.

"Right, I suppose we had better get plenty of rest. Once you're ready in the morning, someone at the front desk will show you where the meeting is being held." He stated as we finished our coffees. I left the restaurant, eager to get back to my room to take Jasper's call, leaving Peter to enjoy an after dinner drink.

I had just settled myself in the sumptuous bed when my phone rang. We talked about the rest of my day and I did share with him as much detail as possible about the places that I had visited. Unfortunately his day had not been very eventful so far but he had managed to get out of the office to have his lunch instead of staying in.

I snuggled down into the bed as we said our good night's.

"Sweet dreams, Bella." He whispered.

"You too, darling. I really do wish that you were here. Everything would be much more fun with you here."

I could hear him smiling down the phone as he spoke. "The only problem with that, darlin' would be that only stayin' for a few days would mean that we wouldn't get out of the hotel at all. We would need to stay at least two weeks to make the whole trip worth while."

"Umm, that sounds like heaven to me. Can we do that when I get back? Stay in bed the whole two days?"

"Your wish is my command, Bella. I'll make sure that I get plently of supplies in so that we don't need to leave the apartment at all over the weekend."

"Good. I look forward to it. You haven't disappointed me yet."

"And I don't intend to, Bella. Shall I ring you the same time tomorrow?"

"Well, we have an evening at the Opera organised. The Italians certainly know how to have meetings in style don't they?" I chuckled.

"Okay, I'll ring at eleven your time."

"That'll be fine. I'm sure we'll be finished by that time."

"Okay then, Bella. Sleep well. I miss you."

"Oh believe me, Jasper this bed is very lonely without you."

"And so will mine be later. Good night, darlin'."

"Good night, Jasper. Love you."

"And you." I smiled as I ended the call, placed my phone on the nightstand, switched the light off and turned over on my side, almost immediately falling into a deep sleep.

The morning meeting went very well. Peter made sure that after the initial greetings were out of the way the rest of the meeting was undertaken in English.

Peter wrapped the meeting up after two hours.

He turned to me after the clients had left the room.

"Well, Bella the rest of the afternoon is your's now. We need to meet in the lobby at five, ready for the opera. Signore Russo and Signore Moretti will meet us at la Scala, with their wives. I believe they all speak a certain amount of English, so that shouldn't be too much of a problem. Remember, if you do get stuck with understanding something then I will be there. Don't hesitate to ask, right?" I really was beginning to get used to this helpful side of Peter's nature. I just held on to the hope that it would continue when we returned to Seattle.

"No problem, Peter. I know how much you enjoy translating for me." I joked. "I think I'll go and have lunch somewhere outside of the hotel today and then have a rest."

Peter nooded his agreement. "That sounds like a very good idea, Bella. Have you ever been to an opera before? It is quite lengthy and of course it will be sung in Italian, the original language of opera. Tonight we will be seeing Carmen."

"Yes, I have seen a couple of opera's and Carmen is one of my favourites. I'm sure I'll be fine. Even if I don't understand the words, I know that the music and the beautiful costumes will hold my attention."

"Okay, then." He smiled and held the door open for me as we left the room."I will see you later, five o'clock in the front lobby."

I nodded to him and we parted company in the lobby. He walked over to the reception desk and ordered a taxi as I left the hotel and made my way down the street and headed to a small cafe that I had passed by the day before.

I sat at one of the tables in the sunshine and successfully ordered lunch and an iced coffee. I sat back and enjoyed watching the people passing by, many of them were tourists but there were also the business men in their extremely smart suits relaxing during their lunch break and of course immaculately dressed women in their designer clothes. I promised myself a trip to the fashion area of the city the next day as long as time permitted.

After lunch I made my way back to the hotel and to my room. I settled down on the bed and very soon fell asleep.

When I woke up feeling rested and refreshed I had exactly two hours to get ready. In order to make sure that I gave the right impression at the meeting this evening, I decided that high maintence was called for. I showered and dried my hair thoroughly, pinning it up and out of the way. I painted my nails and then went all out with the makeup. Once I was dressed and had put everything I needed in my silk purse, I stood in front of the full length mirror attached to the wardrobe door and slipped on my shoes.

I smiled at myself. I really had done a very good job and hoped that Peter would approve. Even though this was not a date with him, I was representing the Company and going to be spending the evening at the opera with him. I didn't want to disappoint him or feel as though I had let him down in any way.

I double checked that my hair would stay in place for the evening by shaking my head slightly. Everthing stayed intact, thank goodness! I then made my way down to the lobby.

Peter was already there waiting for me, looking very smart in an black evening suit and uniform black tie. I noticed that the tie was slightly crooked.

He nodded to me and seemed to smile his approval. "Will I do then?" I asked, holding my arms out at my sides and did a small twirl.

"You certainly will, Bella. They will be mezmerised by you. That really is a lovely dress." He said warmly.

"Your tie is slightly crooked, Peter. May I?" He nodded to me and I stepped forward and stood infront of him and quickly straightened it for him. His breath fanned across my forehead and he smelt very good. I was beginning to see why Tanya was so attracted to him. He was no doubt as charming with Tanya all the time, as he was being now.

I stepped back from him once the tie was set at the desired angle and he held up his arm, bent at the elbow, for me to take.

I slid my arm through his and we made our to the front of the hotel where a limo was already waiting for us.

A short ride later and we arrived at la Scala. It was a beautiful, imposing building and exactly what an opera house, in my opinion, should look like. Peter escorted me into the foyer. Almost immediately Peter was approached by two men dressed in evening suits, closely followed by two beautifully dressed women.

"Signore Russo and Signore Moretti!" He greeted the men enthusiastically. He had obviously met them before, probably when he had lived in Milan. He introduced me to the two men and they greeted me by kissing the back of my hand. It was such a familiar greeting now, yet still made me smile timidly.

Peter then greeted the wives and introduced them to me. As it turned out Signore Moretti's wife Sofia spoke very good English and we chatted about my thoughts of Milan as we made our way to the restaurant area to have something to eat before the peformance.

As we ate we talked about Seattle and some of the places that both couples had visited in America over the years. The conversation was light and very pleasant. It really didn't feel like a meeting at all compared to the one we had had in the morning.

After the meal Peter led the way up to to the box that was owned by the Company. Peter explained to me that the Company had a made a considerable donation towards the recent restoration and new building project in 2004. So of course because the box was owned by the Company it meant that any employees who happened to be staying in Milan were able to make full use of going to the opera and inviting clients. It was a good way of keeping everyone happy and judging by the smiles on the faces of Signore Russo and Signore Moretti, it worked!

We made ourselves comfortable. I took off my jacket and placed it over the back of my chair. Peter opened a bottle of champagne that had been left for us to share. We toasted each other and to future business between the two companies.

I heard the door open behind me and a small gush of cool air blew across my shoulders and made me shiver slightly.

Suddenly my entire being stilled. I only registered the mearest hint of my shallow breaths. My heartbeat loudly in my ears. I held my glass firmly for fear of dropping it.

I felt his presence behind me. I didn't need to turn to see that he was there. Our group fell silent for a split second as if a person of great importance had just entered the box.

Signore Moretti shifted his gaze from my face to the person standing directly behind me and gave a polite nod of his head.

His tone was gentle yet commanding evoking emotions that had lain dormant deep within me, to stir once again.

"Good evening everyone. Bella." I closed my eyes momentarily. As my name fell from his lips I was already beginning to fight the battle that had begun warring between my logic and my now waking emotional turmoil.

I still couldn't move from my place. It was as if I was frozen in time. I felt his fingers trace lightly down the nape of my neck. And I knew that he would feel the goosebumps that formed beneath his finger tips.

And then his breath fanned over my shoulder as he leaned in and whispered in my ear.

"I trust you are well, Bella. You cannot imagine how much I have missed you."

**End of Chapter**

**Author's note; **I know, I know. I am horrible and you all hate me. But you do love this story don't you?! Press the green button and make me smile! Take care until next time.


	22. Chapter 22

**Author's note; **Firstly I would like to wish you all a very Happy 2010. I hope you all had a good Christmas. Many thanks for the reviews of the previous chapter and to those of you who added this story to their Favourites/Alerts lists and I have even been added to some Favourite Author lists. On with the story. I left you with a cliffie last time. Well of course most of you clever ladies guessed who the mystery man was. Enjoy.

**Disclaimer; **I do not own Twilight but I get to play with the characters just a tad.

**Agony and Ecstasy**

And finally the truth?

I felt my face flush at the sound of his voice and the sensation of his breath fanning over my shoulder, yet I prayed silently that he was only going to greet us and leave. His fingers trailed over my shoulder as he moved to my right and came into my peripheral vision. My whole body came alive at his touch. Carlisle's touch!

How the hell could that happen? I hadn't seen him for weeks and I was with Jasper now! How could my body react like this? Traitor!

I swallowed hard as soon as I glimpsed the smart evening suit he was wearing and he moved the empty chair that had been placed next to me, in order to sit down. I knew then that he had no intention of going anywhere. He sat as I continued to keep my eyes fixed on the champagne flute I was holding in both hands. His scent filled the small gap that was between us. For a time I only registered that _he_ was there. Absolutely nothing else.

The muted sounds of voices, were somewhere in the distance. I was _not _one of the people talking in the box. I had completely lost the power of speech.

I chided myself for being so pathetic. It just didn't make any sense. We were _not_ together anymore! It was just a two week holiday fling. Why the fuck did he say that he had missed me? What was all that about? What was he doing to me? He didn't have the right to do this to me!

My head was having the most ridiculous internal monologue. He owned the fucking Company! Of course he should be there! I should have guessed that he would when he said that he would travel and paint again. What was so important about me that I though he was here to see me anyway?!

Get over yourself, Bella!

I shakily brought the champagne flute to my lips and took, what I hoped would be a calming sip. It was something to do at least and it gave me something to focus on while he chatted to everyone around me in Italian. At least Peter had the curtesy to make sure everyone spoke English for the majority of the time or at least translate for me. I glanced over at Peter not looking at Carlisle, not even for a second. He was sitting the other side of Carlisle. He met my gaze and I was sure I could see a hint of an apologetic look on his face. I was sure I did. But why? Did he know that Carlisle would be attending the Opera? Had all this been arranged? And if that were so, then did Peter know of the affair I had had with Carlisle?

Oh my God!! How many other people would know about this? This just could not be happening!

The butterflies in my stomach, that I had managed to keep caged, suddenly broke free at the realisation that other people could be aware of this past relationship.

I emptied my glass and set it down on the small table infront of me. I really needed to get away from the situation. There was no way I could sit there for the next few hours. However long the evening was going to last, it was going to be too fucking long. I lifted my purse from my lap, stood silenty and walked through the narrow gap between our chairs, as swiftly as possible. My hip brushed against his upper arm and I caught a glimpse of him gazing up into my face.

I took my jacket from the back of the chair and walked towards the door.

I heard footsteps following behind me. His footsteps. His voice was soft and pleading. "Bella! Are you alright?" I stood for a moment at the door, my hand on the handle, poised to open it and make my escape. He was there, right behind me.

He reached forward and placed his hand on top of mine. I took in a large breath at the contact."I need to get some fresh air." I said quietly as I breathed out.

"I'll come with you." He whispered just as the orchestra struck up the first notes of the beginning of the Opera. I turned my face towards him. It was the first time that I had looked at him properly, since he arrived. His hair was shorter than I remembered. His green eyes reminded me once again of the green hues on the Island. The only expression on his face was one of concern. I looked down at his hand resting on mine. Making a fuss at that precise moment in time would have been stupid. I would have looked like a silly teenage girl, attracting attention for all the wrong reasons. I loosend my grip on the handle and he let my hand slide from under his.

He opened the door and held it for me so that I could leave. I did so as quickly as possible but of course he was right behind me. I took the stairs not wanting to be in a confined space with him at that moment. The lift was not an option. I willed myself, even though I was wearing high heels, to get down the flight of stairs to the ladies bathroom as safely as possible. He certainly wouldn't follow me in there. Surely!

But before I could even reach what would be a place of safety, a hideaway, I felt his hand grab my upper arm and hold me firmly.

"Why are you running, Bella?" I turned and looked up at him. I had hoped that I looked annoyed but I had obviously failed. He didn't let go of my arm. Only the way he held it changed. He was no longer gripping it. He trailed his hand over my flesh. We both felt the goosebumps. He smirked at my body's reaction to him.

"You may have tried to forget me, Bella but your body tells me otherwise. Are you okay?" I wondered for a moment why he was asking me. I could feel that my face was flushed. I probably looked as though I was ill.

I opened my mouth to speak but was immediately taken aback by his sudden move towards me. In one swift movement he took me in his arms and planted his mouth firmly on top of mine. He wasn't even going to allow me too speak! I pushed at his chest with as much force as I could muster. He didn't let go and he didn't stop kissing me. I forced my eyes to stay open. I knew that if I closed them, then that would be my downfall. I willed myself to stay strong and not reciprocate. He would get the message soon enough. Just sooner rather then later, was my hope.

I felt his tongue try and slide between my lips but I locked my jaw firmly. There was no way that the kiss was going to go any further. I could smell him. His scent swirled around my head. His lips were soft and full of need for me. We had been in this exact same situation before. The day that we both found out who we really were. It was the same day that Jasper had visited the Island. That was the day that he had shared with Carlisle that he wanted more than just a working relationship with me!

Please stop, please stop. I chanted in my head over and over again until I found the strength to push at him again. He finally pulled back.

"Please stop!" I whispered hoarsly. He blinked at me. I even surprised myself that the sound came from me at all.

"I'm sorry, Bella." He whispered.

"Are you? Are you really sorry, Carlisle? I don't want this Carlisle. Please let me go." His hands trailed down the length of my arms until they fell by his sides. He was defeated. He stood tall and looked at me for a moment before answering.

"Of course, Bella. Anything you say. Please, let me walk you down to the car, at least." I hesitated for a moment and I studied his face. He seemed genuinely remorseful I nodded. I didn't speak Italian and I knew very well that the driver didn't speak English. I wanted to get back to the hotel as soon as possible. I wanted to be able to breathe again and gather my thoughts. I needed to speak to Jasper and have him tell me that he loved me. I needed to be centered on Jasper again.

I led the way down the rest of the stairway, acutely aware of Carlisle following me.

Finally I reached the door that would lead me to the street. As I pushed the safety door open, fresh air greeted me and blew away Carlisle's scent. I inhaled deeply and quickly searched the street for the limo. At first I couldn't see it. Panic began to take hold of me. And then I glimpsed out of the corner of my eye, Carlisle raising his hand and signalling to a driver in the distance. Immediately the headlights of the limo came on and the vehicle moved forward to where we were standing. Carlisle reached for the door to open it for me, as I put my jacket on. Although the night air was warm I felt a sudden shiver go right through me.

Just as I ducked my head to get into the limo he began to speak to me softly.

"I need to talk to you, Bella. I need you to understand how much you mean to me." I was still for a moment. Did I owe him this? I did want an explaination. I wanted confirmation that everything I had worked out so far was right. I couldn't make any decisions without hearing what he had to say. There was a chance that I might be wrong and I would find it hard to forgive myself for thinking that he was so calculated. I decided that his explaination had to be heard.

"I assume you know where I'm staying?" He gave me a small nod and smiled. Yeah, of course he did. What he didn't know about his staff would not take up space on the back of a postage stamp.

"Breakfast then. Nine o'clock. I have to be in another meeting at ten." I added, sharply.

"Yes, I'll be there, Bella." I shut my eyes. Why did I get the feeling that he would be there for the meeting as well?

I slid onto the back seat and Carlisle shut the door for me, gave the driver instructions and the limo began to move, leaving Carlisle standing on the sidewalk motionless.

I couldn't get to my room fast enough.

I stood in front of the full length mirror in the bedroom and tugged at my hair angrily, pulling out the pins that held it all in place and throwing them across the dressing table, not caring where they landed.

As my hair tumbled down over my shoulders I looked at myself long and hard. What the hell was going on? Again the events of the last hour played out in my mind.

I couldn't understand why I reacted to Carlisle in that way. An intimate way. It was as if nothing had changed between us. In my own way I had fallen for him when we were together but I knew that it wouldn't amount to anything. He had basically said so himself. That's what helped me to put everything into perspective. The fact that there could never be more than a holiday romance between us.

But now! Now he was in Italy. Here, where I now felt like a prisoner. This trip could not end soon enough. Just one more day and I would be heading home and back to Jasper.

I reached around to the back of my dress and unzipped it as I stepped out of my shoes. I let the dress pool at my ankles. As I hung it up I looked at it, sadly. I didn't think that I could ever wear it again. The feeling now that the dress was bought by Carlisle, albeit indirectly, would not shift from my mind. It was as if he had some sort of a hold over me. As if he owned me. And for as long as I worked for him I was sure that feeling would not dissipate.

I stripped out of my underwear, went to the bathroom and wiped all of the makeup from my face.

Then an idea began to form in my head. If I had guessed correctly that Carlisle had planned everything to do with me, then I would resign. I would get another job easily.

I would be free from what was beginning to feel like, his hold over my life. It was so damn simple that I couldn't believe that I hadn't thought of it before.

I tied my hair up in a messy bun and turned the shower taps on. I was sure that the warm water would help to relax me somewhat. I needed to be in a better frame of mind for when Jasper rang later. I stepped into the cubicle and let the water do it's magic. As I shut my eyes I remembered the last time that Jasper had joined me in the shower and I wanted him to be there with me at that moment. I let my mind wander to that amazing time that we had together.

I felt my body warm from the combination of the warm water and thoughts of Jasper and how he had taken me that evening. I grabbed the shower gel and poured some into the palm of my hand. I worked the gel over my shoulders, imagining Jasper's hands in place of mine. I could feel my body respond to the thought. His hands would caress me over my shoulders and down my back. As my hands trailed down my torso and over my stomach, I could feel my centre contract at the thought of him inside me, taking me from behind as he had done that time. My breathing hitched as my walls contracted without any stimulus other than the thought of him. He was the one who could do this to me. No one else.

My hand reached to my folds, skimming over my clit. I reached out my other hand, placing it on the tiled wall, for support. My breaths shortened, as thoughts of Jasper filled my head. His hands would be holding me firmly at my hips. Goosebumps errupted on my flesh, beginning at my shoulders and travelled rapidly down my back causing me to shiver slightly. I could feel how aroused I was with my middle finger. My walls contracted again and I could feel my boobs tighten and my nipples harden under the flow of the warm water.

Jasper's words resounded in my head. 'when you touch yourself you are goin' to think that I am right there with you just as I will be thinkin' of you when I stand in the shower and when I'm alone in bed. You will be the only one who fills my thoughts while you're away.'

I dipped my finger further into me and once again my walls contracted, harder this time. A more intense orgasm filtered through my body and my arousal spilled down and around my finger. I held my breath for a moment, focusing on the feelings coursing through me. I leaned a little harder against the wall to steady myself as I switched my attention to my clit. It was already very sensitive. I knew that I wouldn't last long.

I whispered Jasper's name, breathily as I slid my finger over it with just the right amount of pressure. I imagined that it was Jasper's finger or even better his tongue that was paying so much attention to me. He new exactly how to bring my body to the edge.

As I quickened the pace, I could feel it begin to swell. Wanting the whole experience to last a little longer I dipped my finger back into my folds and soon felt another orgasm spread through me. This time my legs shook slightly.

It was as if my body had a completely clear memory of Jasper's cock inside me. My intense need for him peaked.

"Oh, Jasper!" I called out. My voice resounded around the cubicle. Once again my attention was drawn to my clit. As my finger moved over the very swollen and sensitive nub, I braced myself for what was to come. Me.

Just a few strokes of my finger was all it took to feel my body as good as internally combust. A vision of Jasper coming with me, flashed before my tightly closed eyes.

Oh, fuck!" I shouted as the release came. My outstretched arm gave way and I leaned my whole body against the tiled wall. I felt the contrast of the cold tiles against my orgasm induced body. The contrast was stark and made me shiver. I stood there for a moment the warm water cascading over my back, as my breathing and heartbeat regulated.

I reached for the taps and turned the water off and stepped out of the shower carefully, still recovering from the high.

I dried myself off and snuggled into the fluffy towelling robe and secured it. I leaned against the edge of the counter top in front of the mirror and looked at myself. My cheeks and neck were still flushed and my eyes were still slightly glazed over. I smiled to myself as the thought of telling Jasper how close he was to me in Italy, crossed my mind.

I took a deep breath and walked into the living area of the suite. I poured myself a drink of water and curled up on the couch to watch some TV. I chose a channel with a fashion show on, so that I didn't have to worry about understanding it. The clothes spoke for themselves. They were beautiful and of course very expensive.

Now totally relaxed, I was looking forward to Jasper's phone call. I also felt somewhat lighter for having made my mind up about what I should do about the problem called Carlisle.

Suddenly, a sharp knock at the door made me jump slightly and I sat up, immediately putting my feet down on the floor. I waited for a second not sure that I should answer the door. If I kept quiet then whoever the person was, would think that I might have gone to sleep and leave. Then there was another knock at the door.

"Bella!" It was Peter. I don't know why but I actually felt a sense of relief wash over me when I heard his voice. I stood up and made my way over to the door.

"Just a minute!" I called, glancing down at my robe and making sure that it was still secure. I opened the door slightly to him. He smiled at me warmly.

"Sorry, Bella. I didn't think you would be asleep, just yet." His tone was apologetic and I shook my head.

"No, it's okay. I wasn't asleep. What's the matter?" He looked down a the floor for a moment and then met my gaze again, looking rather sheepish.

"Is it okay if I come in? I wanted to apologise to you. I think I should explain something." I stood slightly hesitant. If he really did want to apologise then this would be one way of me finding out how much of this whole trip was organised by Carlisle, if at all.

I nodded to him and opened the door wider for him to enter. He smiled at me.

"Thanks, Bella. I won't take up too much of your time." He loosened his bow tie and unbuttoned the top button of his dress shirt as he made his way over to the couch.

"Would you like something to drink, Peter?" I asked politely.

"No, thanks, Bella." I sat down on one of the armchairs that flanked the couch. He leaned forward as he sat and rested his forearms on his thighs, clasping his hands together.

"I have no doubt, Bella that you are very suspicious about the reasons for this trip now." So, I was right. He trained his eyes ahead of him, not looking in my direction, as he continued to speak. I inhaled deeply and prepared myself for what I hoped would be the truth.

"Mr Cullen gave strict instructions via Marcus, for you to go on this trip, Bella. I don't wish to know your business but of course just seeing the way he greeted you this evening, explained the reason why."

"Would you have followed those instructions if you knew what it was all about?" I asked. I looked at him closely hoping not to miss anything in his face that might withhold the truth from me.

He finally looked over to me, with a slightly pained expression and raked his fingers through his hair.

"I explained to you how important family is to me. I have an obligation to them. To do what they tell me to do. But I can assure you that if I did have any idea as to what it was all about, I would have warned you. That much I could have and would have done, Bella. I am so sorry. I feel as though I've let you down. You didn't deserve it."

"I wasn't aware that Mr Cullen was family." I stated. Peter made him sound like he was head of their household.

"As good as, Bella. He has known my Uncles for many years. He has made sure that everthing that my Uncles have ever needed, has been done for them. Just as they have done for him. In my family's eyes, Mr Cullen _is_ the head of the family."

I paused for a moment wanting to choose my words carefully. I needed to bring up the subject of Jasper's move but without arousing suspicion.

"So why were you moved from a place you obviously love so much, to Seattle?" Again he stared ahead and seemed to struggle to find the words.

"I was rather indescreet with my affections for a woman here, in Milan. It was decided that with Jasper moving over to take up his new position, it would be ideal for me to fill the vacancy." My thoughts raced ahead of me. So Jasper's move had already been planed and yet it was such a surprise to the two of us.

"Peter? When did you know that you would be my new boss?" All I wanted was the truth and I was sure that he was remorseful enough to give it.

"It was by shear chance, Bella but the first time I met you, I had already been told about my new job. Then the second time we met and Jasper was there, well..." His voice trailed off and he once again looked ahead, unfocused.

My stomach churned. The only people who were out of the loop as far as Jasper's new job was concerned, _was_ Jasper and me.

So it _was_ done in order to split us up. Of that I was now sure. None of it was a sudden decision. It was all planned including this trip.

I was going to be looking for a new job soon. But for the time being I would keep that nugget of information to myself. I wouldn't even tell Peter, as much as he had finally told me the truth, his loyalty to Carlisle was certainly over and above everything else.

"I am very sorry, Bella that you've been deceived. Mr Cullen will be attending the meeting tomorrow morning." He said quietly as he looked over to me, apprehension etched on his face.

I nodded at him. "I thought he might be." I answered in a resigned tone.

"Will you be okay?" He looked genuinely concerned but of course he wouldn't be able to do anything about it even if he wanted to help.

I smiled at him reassuringly. There was no point in him losing sleep over this. This was something that I had to deal with. Telling him that I would be talking to Carlisle first thing in the morning would be pointless. I would deal with this on my own and I felt sure that now I knew what was behind Jasper's move, I would be able to handle things.

"I'll be fine, Peter. His arrival just took me by surprise that's all. It's no big deal really." I added, giving him one of my best confident smiles.

He bought it.

"Okay then, Bella. I'll see you at the meeting and if there is anything I can help with, please just ask."

His offer was kind but there was no way I could ask anything of him. I knew exactly where his loyalties lay.

He stood up and looked over to me one more time and gave a slight nod. "You know that Mr Cullen is a determined person, don't you?"

"Yes, I know that now. Please don't worry, Peter and thank you." I stood slowly from my chair as he began to move toward the door to leave. I walked across the room and watched him open the door. I quickly looked at the clock, mentally working out that Jasper would be ringing soon. As Peter shut the door behind himself, I locked it and turned the TV off by via the remote and then made my way over to the bed. With my cell in my hand, I pulled back the sheets and snuggled down into the bed.

Only a few minutes later my cell rang.

"Hey darlin'." His voice was the most welcome sound to my ears all day.

I sighed inwardly. I needed to keep a lid on my emotions at that moment and not let on that I had had a stressful evening. He would easily detect that in my tone. After all the years we had worked together, we knew each other far too well as far as that was concerned.

"It's so good to hear your voice, Jasper. How has your day been so far?" I hoped that the question would deflect him from asking about mine.

"Not too bad at all, darlin'. Had a couple of meetin's to go to. Not too borin'. Just the usual. How about you?"

Okay so he didn't have a very interesting day after all. I closed my eyes and concentrated on my tone.

"Oh, just the usual too. I was thinking of going shopping tomorrow. D'you think it would be a little extravagant of me to buy something while I'm here?"

"Most certainly not, Bella. What were you thinkin' of gettin'?"

"Oh, I'm not sure. I'll have to look at the price tags first. Everyone is so elegant here. Makes me look positively dreary." I gave a little laugh and he immediately responded.

"There is no way that you're dreary, Bella. I'm quite sure that you must be the most beautiful woman in that city right now."

"Oh, Jasper, you say the sweetest things. I miss you so much. I thought of you today." I smiled.

"Umm, I hope it was somethin' good, darlin'." He whispered. He was obviously still sitting at his desk.

I stretched out on the bed and grinned to myself. "I was in the shower." I breathed.

"Fuck, Bella. Please don't tell me anymore. I don't think I could take it right now. I miss you so much, darlin." I smiled to myself. I could tell by his tone how difficult these last few days must have been for him and how much he missed me.

"I won't torture you then." I breathed. "But when I get home I would love to show you." I added. I heard him take a deep breath and let out a lengthy sigh. He made my spine tingle. And I was damn sure he knew it too.

"Bella, as much as I don't want this conversation to end, my secretary has just put a note in front of me. I have to go and see Marcus." His tone changed immediately.

My heart began to race.

"Okay, you'd better go then."

"Sorry, Bella. I'll ring you tomorrow, okay?"

"Yes, tomorrow." I said quietly. As the words fell from my lips, my stomach churned having been reminded that I was meeting with Carlisle for breakfast.

"I love you, Bella."

"I love you too, Jasper." With that the line went dead. I turned my cell off and rolled over to place it on the nightstand.

I played Jasper's loving words, over and over again in my mind hoping to banish all thoughts of Carlisle. Eventually I fell asleep.

The morning arrived all too quickly. I woke up slightly startled by my surroundings and felt as if I had not had a good nights sleep after all. All I wanted to do was get the morning out of the way and get out in the afternoon and do some shopping. If I couldn't afford to buy anything, then window shopping would have to suffice. It would be my last chance before Peter and I would be making our way back to Seattle and some sense of normality again.

I had a very quick shower to wake me up and brushed out my hair, deciding to leave it down for the morning at least. I dressed and put on the minimum amount of makeup and made sure that I had everything I needed which included the meeting after breakfast.

I took a deep breath as I reached the lift and entered it. I had tried to spend the least amount of time thinking about this breakfast meeting in order to keep my nerves under control. The lift arrived at the ground floor all too soon and I stepped out, held my head up and straightened my back. It was as if I was going to face an enemy and I was going to face him head on. Without fear.

As I entered the restaurant he saw me immediately and stood from the table smiling. This was going to be more difficult than I had thought. I walked over to the table and he walked around the table and grasped the back of the empty chair opposite his, pulling it out for me. I hesitated for a second, giving him a small nod of acknowledgement and took my place.

He was the first to speak. "Good Morning, Bella. I hope you don't mind that I took the liberty of ordering for you? I thought it would save time." I looked at him, not sure whether to be annoyed or relieved that it was one less thing I had to think about. He seemed to smile with some measure of triumph in his eyes. His green eyes that captured my attention every time.

I shut my eyes for split second and resumed my composure. "That's fine. So you wanted to talk." I didn't want to waste time with small talk. Skirting around the point of this meeting was only going to mean that he would suggest another meeting, of that I was sure.

As the food and coffee were served, we were both silent. I watched the waiter place the selection of rolls and jams on the table along with fette biscottate and Italian herb bread. I could feel Carlisle's eyes on me the whole time. As intimidating as it felt to me, I was sure that that was not his intention.

Finally the table was ready and Carlisle thanked the waiter. I immediately busied myself, taking a roll and preparing it for the jam. I thought that he might be deflected by my apparent indifference but of course this was Carlisle. The master at being able to read people; especially me.

"Bella, I am truly sorry that my arrival startled you somewhat." He began. Oh, yeah right!

"If it was not your intention to startle me, as you say, then why was I not told that you would be here? Peter knew after all!" He looked at me for a moment. A moment too long. He had no answer for me.

"I really don't want there to be any bad feeling between us, Bella." I trained my focus on the food in front of me as he spoke.

"Then maybe you should start by being honest with me, Carlisle." My gaze only lifted to meet his face as I said his name.

"I intend to be just that, Bella. I was telling the truth when I said that I missed you." He reached out and placed his right hand over my left that was resting on the table. I froze. His touch coursed through me once again, the same sensation as the night before. I swallowed hard and reached with my free hand for my coffee cup. I took a much needed mouthful and set the cup back down, hoping to mask any reaction that he may have sensed.

He withdrew his hand from mine. For now my ruse appeared to have worked. I felt the loss of his touch almost immediately. My mind was beginning to spin with the one question that I really didn't want to have floating around in there. Why did my body react to him almost in the same way as it did to Jasper? I pushed the question to one side. I needed to concentrate on what truth he might actually be willing to share with me. I had to keep my wits about me.

"You said yourself that it was just a holiday romance, Carlisle. Nothing more than that." I looked at him in a challenging way.

"And so I did, Bella. I realise now that I was lying to myself." I viewed him with suspicion. Carlisle just didn't seem the kind of man to be caught up in his emotions over someone like me. I was just too ordinary. When he described his exwife, she was so much more than me. Beauty and brains all rolled into one.

"Well of course you know that I'm with Jasper now, don't you?" I watched him as he picked up his coffee cup and took a mouthful. He was using the same technique as I had in order to mask his emotions. Of course he knew! There was nothing that he didn't know.

"I love him, Carlisle. I think I have for along time and it wasn't until he was moved that we finally felt we could be honest with each other. His promotion came at the right time." I added. He shut his eyes for a moment as if in resignation. I had hit the nail on the head with my conclusion that he had Jasper moved because of me. He opened his eyes and fixed them on me once again.

"Really? I find it hard to believe that you moved on so quickly, Bella." He smiled at me at little too confidently and sat back in his chair as if he'd won a point in this verbal tennis match. We both knew what it was he was talking about. My body's reaction to him had given him the confidence that he now revelled in.

I leaned forward in my seat and kept my tone low but nonetheless audible."You made it clear on the Island exactly what it all ment to you. I in turn took that on board. Whatever your feelings are for me now, you cannot expect me to change how I feel about Jasper. You have been in love in the past, Carlisle. So you of all people must realise that strong feelings cannot be switched off at will." I didn't want to bring up Lizzie and hurt his feelings but it seemed the only way to have him remember those feelings and what it was he was asking of me.

He looked down into his lap, his breakfast long forgotten.

"I'm sorry, Bella. You must think I'm a love sick fool. I let you go, Bella because I love you so much. I let you go to allow you to make the right choice." And then he raised his head slightly, looking at me from under his lashes. My stomach knotted. And there it was. The statement that now allowed everything to fall into place. He had asked me, when we were together to make sure that when I got back to Seattle I would think hard and make the right choice. Between him and Jasper. That was now obvious. I sat in silence for a moment, looking at him. His eyes held me, almost in a trance.

"If you _are_ in love with Jasper then so be it. I only hope that he_ is _in love with you. You deserve nothing less than that." He hesitated for a moment and then breaking eye contact he took another sip of his coffee and then he looked at me pointedly.

"Does he make you happy, Bella?" At first I wanted to scoff at him and ask him why he was even asking. What did he know about making me happy? But of course, I then had to bite my tongue. When we were together, he did make me happy. My confidence about so many things had grown because of him. I certainly couldn't ignore that fact. He knew that too.

"I won't forget you, Carlisle. How can I? But I'm with Jasper now and I really would like you to accept that fact."

"You haven't told him, have you?" The one question, I hoped he would not ask, hung between us like a grey Seattle morning.

"We have agreed that anything that happened before we got together, is in the past." And then I decided to call his bluff. "If he ever asks, Carlisle, then I will of course tell him." I sat back in my chair just to show him the level of confidence that I had about doing that task. One that I hoped, I would not have to do, ever.

He observed me for a moment and then stood from his chair. "You know, Bella, I do believe that you would tell him. Let us hope that he will never be tested on that information. I can assure you, Bella, that my lips are sealed on that matter. Now if you don't mind, I shall go ahead to the conference room and wait for everyone." He gave a slight nod in my direction and then looked over my head.

"Good morning, Peter. I shall see you both shortly. Bella." As he walked past me, I kept my focus on the now empty chair opposite me. I reassured myself that he had said his lips were sealed. From what I knew of Carlisle, he was a man of his word. The knot in my stomach ebbed and I turned slightly in my chair to acknowledge Peter's presence. He smiled at me a little warily.

"Is everything alright, Bella?" His tone was sincere and I was touched by his concern for me.

"Yes, Peter. Just fine. I suppose we had better go into the meeting. I was hoping to go shopping this afternoon. My last chance before we leave." I tried to sound as light as I possibly could as I stood and gathered my things from the table.

"And so you should, Bella. I take it you're interested in going to the fashion district of the city. I'll organise the driver to take you." I looked at him and smiled as we made our way down the hallway.

"Thanks for that, Peter. That's very kind of you." I really did appreciate that he was trying to make things a little easier for me.

We entered the conference room and Peter immediately swung into action, introducing me to the clients, not letting Carlisle take the opportunity. We settled down to the meeting. Peter made sure that I sat at his side, as far away from Carlisle as was possible. I managed to keep my focus on the meeting, handing Peter necessary files and documents as and when he needed them. We worked well together. And the whole time Carlisle watched me. It seemed that he was only there to observe Peter take charge of the meeting. Why, I had no idea but then again I knew very little of the work he had done in Milan before he moved to Seattle.

Finally, when the meeting was over, we began to say our goodbyes.

Carlisle addressed the clients in Italian. I stood silently waiting for him to finish so that I could get back to my room and change before heading out for my shopping trip.

Peter stood next to me passing me some of the lighter documents for me to hold. He suddenly froze and looked at me. I knew straight away that it had something to do with what Carlisle had said.

I looked up at him with questioning eyes. Peter watched as Carlisle walked the clients to the conference room door, at the opposite end of the room.

"He's throwing a party tonight, Bella, at his house." He whispered, quickly. "Everyone is expected to be there. He's going to be travelling back to Seattle with us tomorrow." He added.

I closed my eyes for a moment and then quickly gathered my thoughts.

"That's fine, Peter. I suppose I had better buy a dress while I'm out this afternoon, just for the occasion." I smiled warmly hoping to ease his obvious discomfort at sharing this news.

Carlisle turned towards us as he held the door open, ready to leave. "I expect you both to be there for six." He said in a no nonsense tone. Peter nodded.

"Yes, Mr Cullen." He answered without hesitation.

I simply stood still and smiled at Carlisle. I made the decision to take everything in my stride and act as calm as possible. This was not going to be a problem. Somehow I knew that Peter would make sure that he would stick with me during the course of the evening. After all, he had said that he would do all he could to help me.

Peter waited for Carlisle to leave the room. "These gatherings never last more than a couple of hours, Bella. We'll be back at the hotel before you know it." He said reassuringly.

We made our way back to our suites. All I wanted to think about was getting out of the hotel for a while and have some time to myself. I need to be mentally prepared for the coming evening.

**End of Chapter**

**Author's note; **Well, there you go. Was it what you expected? Press the green button and share your thoughts with me. You know how much I enjoy reading your reviews. Until next time. Take care.


	23. Chapter 23

**Author's note:** Thank you so much to all of you who have been reading this story so far. Your reviews have been lovely and I thought I would put together a little something which I hope will help me to continue writing this story.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight. But I own this story.

**Agony and Ecstasy**

Hesitant moments

Peter and I arrived at Carlisle's Milan home, a little before six. It was just a twenty minute ride away from the hotel.

I felt amazingly calm, reassured that once the evening was done with, I would be safely on my way back home to once again be held by the man I loved.

My shoppng trip had been a total success. I had decided on buying a turquoise creation in a simple but elegant design. Nothing too showy and would suit many occassions once I was back home.

Peter had kindly commented on my choice of dress, saying that it complimented my name. He was certainly not averse to using a little Italian charm now and again.

As we entered the white painted, very ordinary looking two storey building, we were greeted by servants, probably hired for the occasion, who ushered us through to an inner courtyard. It was filled with plants and a simple but beautiful fountain at the center. I stood for a moment to admire this hidden garden. It felt a million miles away from the hustle and bustle of the Milanese streets only yards away. A perfect sanctuary.

We crossed the courtyard, tiled mostly in terracotta colours and cobolt blue, the perfect contrast to the various shades of green foliage. We proceeded up a tiled staircase to the first floor balcony. The faint sound of classical music being played on a piano, came from a set of open double doors ahead of us at the far end of the first floor, which was lined with four large closed doors.

As we got a little closer I could hear the sound of voices and occasional laughter. The party was already underway.

We were greeted at the door by a waiter holding a tray laden with flutes of champagne. Peter took two glasses and offered me a glass which I gratefully accepted.

"Thank you Peter. Just what I need right now". I smiled nervously.

He grinned and raised an eyebrow before turning to lead the way into the room.

Peter had already promised that he would act as my interpreter and would therefore stay at my side for the entire evening. It was a simple case of attending this gathering and then head back to the hotel to be ready for the early flight homeward bound.

Carlisle almost immediately sought us out, giving a small nod in acknowledgement to both of us and then without hesitation he guided us over to a group of four people. Three men and a woman. Carlisle then turned and focused his attention on another group of guests who had just arrived.

It seemed that Peter knew the group quite well as they greeted each other warmly. Peter introduced me to them one by one. All spoke good English and conversation began. The woman, Francesca, remarked on my dress and immediately named the designer.

Conversation was kept light and uncomplicated. Francesca actually reminded one of the group that we were all out of the office, so business talk was strictly off limits. I totally agreed with her, much to the amusement of the men.

I began to feel so relaxed in their company that I had almost forgotten that Carlisle was even in the room.

I was offered another glass of champagne by a very attentive Peter who took me by the elbow and excused us from the group in order to move across the room to another group of people standing by a large square window overlooking the street below.

I felt very flattered as to how much everyone made an effort to talk to me; just a secretary but made to feel very welcome and part of the evening.

Very aware of how much champagne I was drinking, I excused myself and headed towards a table situated in one corner of the large room, laden with culinary delights.

"Are you enjoying the evening, Bella?" Carlisle's tone was hushed and took me a little by surprise. I had been so totally absorbed in deciding which tasty morcels to help myself to, I hadn't noticed that he now stood at my side.

"I am, very much thank you. You have a lovely home here." I answered keeping my focus on the task in hand.

"Yes, I had forgotten how lovely this place is and how much it means to me. The light here is very different to the Island. I paint differently when I stay here". His tone was very matter of fact and yet there was a hint of regret. I fleetingly wondered how long it had been since he was here last.

"Did you finish the commission in time?" The question felt the most obvious to ask as it seemed his passion for painting was foremost in his thoughts.

"Yes, I did, Bella. It now hangs pride of place in a home just outside of Seattle." I could detect the smile in his voice.

"Have you begun a new collection for an exhibition?" I asked, not sure whether to add anymore to my plate.

He hesitated for a moment, selecting two more delights to add to his own plate. "I have a total of fifteen pieces. A few I had previously not thought of showing and the rest I have worked on since..." His voice trailed off and I turned to finally face him having popped a creation topped with anchovies into my mouth.

His eyes were trained on my mouth as I ate and he smiled as if amused.

"I amuse you somehow?" I asked, a little braver after two glasses of champagne.

"I always love watching a woman enjoy her food and that is certainly one thing you do with enthusiasm, Bella, amongst other things". A triumphant twinkle in his eye reminded me how dangerous and captivating he could be, not just with his words.

I broke eye contact and glanced down at my plate, giving me time to think. I felt my cheeks prickle with inevitable heat. I had been drinking champagne after all!

"The evening seems to be a success." I stated and looking back up at him with renewed confidence, I smiled.

He blinked and with a small sigh of defeat, turned his head to scan the room.

"Yes, everyone seems to be enjoying themselves." And in his next breath he faced me once again. "I would dearly like your opinion on something Bella."

"Oh?" I replied quietly. "What would that be then?" I hastily devoured another treat and took a sip of champagne.

"A piece I have been working on during my stay here. You know how much I value your opinion." He smiled, openly.

I answered without hesitation. "Your place is here with your guests, Carlisle..."

He lifted his hand to interrupt me, an action I had seen him use during the morning meeting.

"My guests, Bella are all good friends and have been for many years. They won't miss me for a few moments." He gestured with his hand for me to lead the way.

I hesitated not moving a muscle and he knew exactly why. Of course he would, he knew me well enough.

"Just long enough for you to look at my work and then I promise to bring you straight back here. I'm quite sure that if you were gone for too long, Peter would come searching for you." He added with a wry smile.

I let out a small laugh. He was right. Peter would look for me if I were gone too long.

"I'll go and let Peter know that we're going to the studio." He said decisively, interrputing my thoughts.

I nodded and placed my now empty plate and glass on the nearest table and moved forward towards the double doors.

Having reached the doors, I turned to see Carlisle talking to Peter briefly. Peter nodded looking over to me and then continued his conversation with a very attractive woman who was chatting animatedly, much to the amusement of the other guests in the group.

Within a few strides, Carlisle approached the doors and stepped in front of me to lead the way.

"My studio is this way, Bella." He nodded in the general direction of another set of doors at the other side of the courtyard balcony. He explained how he had decided to buy this house over all others he had seen, purely because of the large room on this side of the building that had once been a ballroom and that with minimal alteration it was perfect for what he wanted it for.

We arrived at the double doors leading into the room and he reached into his trouser pocket and produced a key. I looked at him quizzically.

"I keep it locked when I have guests. You would be amazed how many are cheeky enough to snoop around the place. This room is for invited guests only." He stated as he unlocked the door and opened it, standing back to allow me to pass by.

I took only a few steps into the room and stood memerized by the sheer size and oplulence that surrounded me. I wasn't sure what to expect but I was very impressed that the ornate decorations that adorned the walls and ceiling had not been touched. I surveyed the room from one end to the other. A set of red velvet, floor length curtains hung from the ceiling at the far end, to the right of the room. They were drawn and filled the entire width of the room. Four full length windows allowed the room to be flooded with light and at the opposite end to where the red curtains hung, there was what could only be describe as a small fitted kitchen with cupboards, a sink, table and chairs.

I walked over to one of the windows and looked out taking in the scene of the hustle and bustle in the far distance. There was an uninterrupted view of a walled garden, mostly laid to lawn with mature trees and a summerhouse situated along the south facing wall.

"What do you think of it all, Bella?" He asked standing at the next window along from me, looking into the distance.

"You chose well, Carlisle. This really is an amazing room and perfect as a studio. I had visions of all the trappings of the old ballroom having beem ripped out and being replaced with something ultra modern." I turned and looked around the room again, taking in all the details of the ornate ceiling.

"When I viewed this place the first time, I decided then that I would leave the room in it's original state as far as possible. The previous owners used this room and were well known for their gatherings and parties. One wedding celebration they held here lasted for three days. They were a very popular family this side of Milan." He smiled and I felt his gaze on me as I walked over to a large easel, placed some feet away from the windows.

I stood a couple of feet away from it and gazed at a piece he was working on. It was of a woman, sitting in a large gilt ballon backed chair, upholstered in crimson. My gaze shifted to the right where the chair now stood.

"What do you think, Bella?" His soft tone broke the silence that had fallen in the room.

Without looking over to him, I looked back at the picture.

"Hard to tell. You're still working on it." I stated and in my next breath "Who's the model?" I asked quietly, surprising myself as I had not really thought about the words as they came tumbling out of my mouth.

I recovered quickly from the realisation of my question. I felt a tinge of jealousy and hoped it did not show in my eyes as I looked at him with my head slightly inclined.

His eyes held my gaze for a moment and he gave a wry smile. I had not got away with it.

"Just a paid model, Bella. A struggling art student." And with a slight shake of his head he added "Nothing more."

I said nothing. To do so would be to confirm the feeling inside me. Looking back at the picture I followed the line of her form. She was wearing a beautiful period gown of ivory with delicate embroidery covering the bust of the dress. Her long auburn hair, that hung in ringlets cascading down over her shoulders, almost reached her waist. To say she was not beautiful would have been a lie.

She was gazing into the distance, the background as yet unfinished. Her brown eyes looked wistful and a little sad.

As I continued to study her face I heard Carlisle walk across the room and stand to the right hand side of the picture.

"Do you like it, Bella?" His tone was slightly anxious. I had probably taken a little too long to voice my opinion.

Without taking my eyes off the picture but with Carlisle in my peripheral vision, I nodded gently.

"She seems rather sad. As if the man she has been waiting for has failed to arrive." I finally looked at Carlisle.

"Excellent!" He stated with a broad smile on his lips. "Just the feeling I was hoping to portray."

"Then you have succeeded, Carlisle. But then again, when do you not when you set your mind on a project?" I stated and feeling suddenly self-conscious, I lifted my right hand and tucked a piece of non-existant hair behind my ear. He was beginning to fluster my thoughts once again.

Before I had any time to think, Carlisle was standing in front of me.

"I miss you Bella. So much. You have been my inspiration for so much of my work." He said softly looking into my eyes. "I am sure you can see the resemblance in this picture of you. You are always in my thoughts Bella."

I could not move. It seemed that my shoes were super glued to the floor. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. My thoughts had frozen too.

Carlisle reached out with a steady hand and gently touched my shoulder, then trailed his hand down my arm, causing goosebumps in its wake. When his hand reached the level of my waist, he gently rested it there. I could feel the heat of his hand and the rush of blood to my cheeks.

"Stay here another night, Bella. Please? I have so much to share with you and show you." He pleaded.

I closed my eyes to help focus on my resolve which was in great danger of being demolished right now.

As I opened my eyes to speak, Carlisle's lips were on mine...

**To be continued...**

**Author's Note: **I had to end it there. Hope you liked it. Whether you did or not please press the green button and let me know. I will post the rest of this chapter soon. Take care.


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